Friday, 21 – The great dodge-alligator-ball tournament.(Emerld)
"FAUST!" Teepo screamed as he ran out of the bathroom, his hair now a bright orange, and his face pure purple. "What the hell have I told you about switching my hair dye with my face cream?!" he continued to scream, when Faust turned the corner only to knock Teepo down the stairs, landing himself on a chair in the kitchen. "Want some breakfast, Teepo?" I asked as I handed him a glass of pure green tea, upon which he grabbed and drank within seconds.
"Look at what Faust did to me!" Teepo yelled at me. "Well go and take a shower to get that stuff out of your hair and off your face then, oh, and beware, Faust may have switched the regular water with instant pudding again." I told him as he stormed upstairs to remove the hideous color of his hair, and face. "WOAH!" Chris said as he walked past Teepo, walking face first into the wall.
He just pushed his face off the wall and then demanded that he be fed before he eats the entire kitchen again. "Emerld, make me a huge breakfast, or I WILL eat your bird again." Chris said as he started to drool. "Go ahead and eat that bird, hell, every time I turn my back on it for even a minute, it does something stupid, gross, or, ...eh." I told Chris as I started walking out of the kitchen, only to smack face first into a wall. "OW, who put this wall here...oh, it's just Faust." I said as I backed up, and then went around him back to my room.
But before I could do that, Faust grabbed me by my shirts collar, pulling me backwards, and making me fall on my back. "The hell was that for?!" I said as he pulled me up, then, he reached over and picked up Chris with his other hand, then, slamming our heads together, screamed in our faces "LETS PLAY DODGEBALL!!" and the he proceeded to throw us into a pit.
As I looked around, I couldn't see anything, but I could hear this weird noise, it sounded like jaws snapping. That's when it hit me, and I mean, it really "hit" me. With a solid thud, I lay on the groind, in pain as something as heavy as a fat man on the buffet table at hometown buffet.
"YOU'RE OUT!!" screamed Faust from the darkness, making more noises. Then, the lights came on, and to my none the less shock, a fuging alligator lay on top of my chest, swishing its tail around, trying to both bite me, and trying to get off of me.
"Holy shit!" screamed Teepo from the corner of the room, pointing at the creature. "This is dodge-alligators!" claimed Faust, holding another alligator in his left hand, readying it to throw at another one of us.
Faust threw it as hard as he could, aiming it at Jack, who was facing the wrong way. With a solid punch, Jack sent the alligator into the wall on the right of us. "In this game, we use alligators as the ball, and if you get hit, you're out." deemed Faust as he flung his arms out, showing us the opponents that we would be facing off against.
There stood Faust in the middle, to his right, were Pennywise the Clown, Master Chief, and Freakazoid. To his left, there was the Mask, the Burger King, and Zappa. On our side was me on the far left, Teepo on the far right, Jack and Chris near the middle, with my annoying devil bird thing in the air, right above me, and I think Teepo's Bridget plushie was standing near him, acting as a guard.
In the middle of this gigantic room there was a swamp type pool with alligators swimming around in it. Faust ran forward, skidding to a halt near the pool of alligators, reached in, and yanked one out by the tail, swung it over his head, and threw it straight at Chris. "FOOD!" yelled Chris as he held out his arms, waiting to receive the alligator to only eat it rather than throw it back at the opponents.
As soon as that alligator had been thrown at our side, Faust's team ran to the pool, and in turn each yanked out an alligator to throw at us. Master Chief grabbed two, only to be eaten by a third alligator that jumped out of the water and opened its mouth to swallow him whole. The Mask and Freakazoid both turned into small tornados next to each other, acting like a gun, while Pennywise the Clown threw alligators in between the two, hurling the alligators at our side.
Chris grabbed a couple of the gators, only to eat them, Jack also caught one, then threw it back, maiming Zappa in the face as an alligator clamped onto his head. Zappa started going into one of his seizures until he hit the floor, a pool of blood coming from his face from where the alligator started ripping his flesh off, eating it only to become poisoned and die instantly on the spot.
Teepo found a door and ran through it, only to get lost in a maze Faust had set up previous to the start of the game. His plushie ran after him, or more like fell towards his direction, only to get too close to the pool of the alligators and then got eaten whole by one of the larger alligators, and then it swam backs into the water.
Soon after, it appeared that both teams were starting to lose. Faust then decided it was time to use one of his super powered machine type weapons on our team, which now consisted only of myself, Jack, Chris, and my bird. Faust's team was only down to Pennywise, The Mask, Freakazoid, The Burger King, and Faust himself.
Faust reached into his pants, and pulled out what appeared to be a stick, that is until he flipped the switch on it, then, it turned into a giant BOOT. Complete with side missile launches, and a cannon attached to the top of the boot. Faust jumped inside of the boot, turned it on, and the repeatedly stomped his own teammates, crushing them beneath his massive boot.
Soon after, we realized that his new super boot couldn't do shit to us, since it could only stomp, and the missile launches and cannon were actually only painted on. Around that time, I noticed that two alligators were facing each other, and I could hear a weird noise coming from them. "Ah, finally got out og that maze." stated Teepo as he crawled from one alligator mouth, into the other, only to be lost once again. "How much longer is this retarded game gonna last Faust?" Jack asked as he punched another alligator that Faust had thrown at him.
"Until either you're deader than my foot, read this homemade book of my own creation, which is yaoi of me, and me, or, you win." Faust replied to Jack, now throwing three alligators at once, using three arms. "Alright then, Chris, Jack…bird thing, we have to win, or else we will have to read Fausts yaoi book of himself, and he draws GOOD!" I screamed at our team.
Chris then dropped the alligator he was eating, and started grabbing the rouge alligators that were near us, throwing them back at Faust in an attempt to win this stupid game quickly. Jack also did so too, by punching the gators back at Faust, who was alone on his team since he crushed the others with his giant boot of doom.
Me on the other hand, I grabbed my bird, and used her as a baseball bat, hitting back anything that was thrown my way, which included not only gators, but also pieces of the walls, and floor, also a dead hobo or two.
It was like a battle of battles, the living live, and the dead get used as weapons. Great amounts of dust and debris were created within what appeared to be days. When the dust and floating bodies finally died down, Faust lay on the groind, not moving. "We did it, we won!" yelled Chris as he picked up half an alligator and ate it.
I was barely conscious when we won, and Jack was panting, lying on the floor, his arms both broken to the point that they looked like a limp of meat. That's when Faust started moving again, slowly, but he was moving. As he got up, he looked at us, and pointed over at us. "Okay." He said, then, he reached down and picked up an alligator, and threw it into the air, causing it to explode upon impact with the ceiling.
Confetti went everywhere, and a huge sign hung from the ceiling where the destroyed body of the alligator was. The sign read "ROUND 2!" That's when Faust's chest burst open, and Teepo crawled out, exclaiming "HA, I finally got out of that stupid maze!" That's when I blanked out.
I woke up to notice everyone on the couch in the living room, just watching TV. Faust then handed me a medal, which on the front had a gator ripped in half with a one going through it. "Fuck you Faust." I said as I walked back up to my room, with bird in tow. Btw, if you're wondering about the others, everyone is fine, and Teepo's Bridget plushie is with him, no damage from the gators.
