Ch. 12 Switzerland's Secret Journal
July 1,
Lili wanted to go to Matthew's house today, because it was his birthday (I forgot about that guy). I told Lili that she can go. I told her that we can get him a gift, like some pancake mix, or something like that (I really don't know what he likes). Lili said that wouldn't be necessary, she spent the last few days making him some pajamas (they weren't pink, of course). Matthew appreciated us visiting. There weren't too many people there, only me, Lili, Gil, Francis, and Arthur. I'm glad that Emil wasn't there (which reminds me, his undesirable behavior is getting out of control). Anyway, Matthew liked the pajamas Lili made him; they had a maple leaf on the shirt. Why is it that I get pink frilly pajamas, but Matthew gets pajamas that are actually for his gender? I'm going to stop talking, if I accidentally offend Lili, she'll take my guns away again for sure.
July 2,
Today I went to have a "talk" with Emil. I told him that he's getting older, and his hormones (should be) kicking in. These hormones will make him want to do "things" to girls (I didn't mention any names, but I was referring to Lili). I told Emil that just because he wants to do "things" to girls, it doesn't mean he should do it; whenever I have an '83 moment with Elizaveta, it's purely on accident, and I try to prevent it from happening. I just thought that he should know this before he starts "playing" with Lili. That kid has problems; he's going to end up like Francis. I'm glad I was never like him when I was his age.
July 3,
Alfred gave me and Lili an invitation to his birthday party tomorrow. Lili and I are going (I'm probably going to regret it later). I'm not even getting Alfred a gift, he doesn't deserve one. I don't know if Emil will be there or not, but he probably will since Alfred is in touch with so many people. Elizaveta might be there too, so I'm going to bring my handcuffs.
July 4,
I brought lots of sets of plastic handcuffs (I wasn't going to waste money on metal ones; besides, plastic ones work just as well) to Alfred's party for good measure (there was a lot of people there). There was beer there, and I tried my best to stay away from it (I don't want to get drunk this time). I only had two bottles (I could handle that). Emil, Peter, and Raivis were there. I didn't have to worry about Raivis, because he was busy hitting on Michelle. Eventually, it got late, and people started to fall asleep. I grabbed the handcuffs, and handcuffed Elizaveta to a table (she was angry, but it was for her own good). I'm glad I brought lots of handcuffs, because there were lots of people who needed to be restrained. I handcuffed Emil to a table (he was already asleep, but just for good measure). I handcuffed Peter to a couch (he was also asleep). I, unfortunately, had to handcuff Bella. I told her it was for her own good, and that I'm sorry (it was tough). And I handcuffed Antonio (I don't need him making any moves on Bella while she's defenseless). And that was about it. Right now I'm sitting down on the couch next to Lili to make sure nothing happens to her. I'm gonna go to sleep now, but I think this party was a big success.
July 5,
I took the handcuffs off of everyone before they woke up today (I don't know why I'm always the first to wake up). I was worried about Bella...what if the handcuffs hurt her wrists? I'm a monster! But I only did it because I care about her! Oh well, what's done is done. She's probably going to hate me now, but it's the price to pay for her safety. After I released everyone, I carried Lili home. I don't want her to be there to see everyone having a hangover.
July 6,
Today, I went to apologize to Bella. I even brought her some chocolate, because she's probably gonna hate me, and I need to give her something to make it all better. I knocked on Bella's door, and when she answered, I handed her the chocolates and told her that I'm sorry for handcuffing her, and that I only did it because I care about her. She said that it's ok, and she forgives me. That's great! She doesn't hate me! I told her, "Thank you for not hating me!" I couldn't think of what to do next, so I did something I'm not proud of. I hugged her and then walked home. That was just my way of telling her I'm sorry, but what if she took that the wrong way? I'm such an idiot! Now she probably thinks I'm an idiot! And I don't want to waste money on more chocolate.
July 7,
I told Lili what I did yesterday, and how bad I feel about it. I told her that I don't want Bella to hate me; I just wanted to show her that I care about her. Lili said, "That's so cute Switzy! You really do have a crush on Bella. That's adorable! You two are so cute together." Well, I'm not gonna judge what Lili thinks about me and Bella...together. And for the record, I don't think it's "cute". It's not a crush...I was hugging her to say I was sorry. There is nothing wrong with that.
July 8,
Today, I walked over to Bella's house. I knocked on her front door, and when she answered, I told her, "Bella, I'm so sorry for what I did two days ago. I didn't mean to hug you, please don't hate me. It's just, I wanted to show you I was sorry, and I didn't know what else to do. I hope you can forgive me." Bella told me that she wasn't mad at me. That's good news! I told her 'thank you' and went to hug her, hesitated, and stopped. Why am I so awkward? Why did I stop myself? I feel stupid now. Oh well, you live and learn.
July 9,
Lili's birthday is coming up in three days. She's growing up so fast! It only seems like yesterday when she was a baby! Oh...anyway, I told her to make a list of people she's inviting. I told her to give me the list tomorrow. I hope nothing bad happens at her party. I still can't believe she's going to be fourteen! I'm gonna stop writing before I get all emotional (I'm not a sissy).
July 10,
Lili gave me a list of people who she wanted to invite. Basically, it's everyone we know. I question her choice of guests, but I have to listen to her. After all, it's her birthday party, and I told her she can invite whoever she wants. So I'll just let everyone know about Lili's party in two days. I'll make sure that nothing bad happens at the party...and I'll try to do it without handcuffs this time.
July 11,
Tomorrow is Lili's birthday. I spent all day cleaning the house (even though it will get messy anyway). I also started making food. I made cheese and chocolate fondue. And just to make sure this party is safe for kids, I put a note on all the bedroom doors, they read, I know why you want the bed, but do it at someone else's party. It's just a little safety precaution; I even locked the bedroom doors, just to be sure. This party is going to be the best one I've been to in a long time (there will be no '83 moments).
July 12,
Today, my little thirteen year old sister became my little fourteen year sister. She grows up so fast... Anyway, her party was today. Pretty much everyone we invited showed up. I made sure to keep a close eye on Lili; she was wearing her favorite dress, and I could tell Emil liked it. Every time Emil got a bit too close to Lili, I would walk over and save her. I would say something like, "Would you like some punch?" or something dumb like that. Later, I started to worry a little less about Lili. I turned my attention to another important matter...Bella. I thought, Man, if only I had the guts to ask her to dance. Oh wait, there's no music...well, maybe we'll just talk. I walked over to Bella and tried to start up a conversation. I asked her, "How are you?" See? I don't even need pick-up lines. Eventually, we got talking about guns; she knows a lot about guns! I told her that she's the first woman I've ever met who shares common interests with me. She told me that's "sweet", I wasn't trying to be sweet, I was telling the truth. Oh well, there's no harm done. I think I'm gonna go to sleep now. I'm exhausted.
July 13,
I woke up this morning, and Elizaveta wasn't next to me! Finally! Neither was Bella, so that's a bonus (kind of). Bella must've fallen asleep here, because she was here this morning. She told me that this party was really fun, and she had a good time. I thanked her for showing up. We got talking about chocolate (she thinks her Belgian chocolate is better than my Swiss chocolate). She left after about half an hour. All the other guests cleared out around noon. I'm going to be cleaning all day, the house is a wreck!
July 14,
Today, I gave Lili a late birthday gift. I didn't want to give it to her when everyone was running around the house, where she can lose it. I got her a .22 caliber handgun (I think she's ready). It's a good gun for beginners, with very little recoil. She was so excited! She loved it! I'll never forget my first gun... Anyway, I'm going to take her shooting after I finish cleaning the house. Of course, I'll let her shoot whenever she wants, but I want to be there when she fires that first round!
July 15,
I spent all day cleaning. People are disgusting! How do you get chocolate on the ceiling? It was probably Gilbert, because he doesn't want to admit that my chocolate tastes like a piece of heaven! Anyway, I had to pick up trash and scrub the walls and floors. It was beyond disgusting. I'm going to have to disinfect myself when I'm done cleaning. But it was worth having Lili's fourteenth birthday party.
July 16,
Well, my house is finally clean. And after a nice, long, disinfecting shower, I took Lili to a shooting range. I already taught her how to fire a gun, so she knew what to do. She fired that first round, and hit the target dead-center. She fired a few more, and she's a pretty good shot! Just like her big brother. There aren't words to describe how proud I am of her!
July 17,
Today, I realized that there is vital information that I must share with Lili now that she has a gun. I told her that, even though I shoot at people sometimes, I miss them on purpose. I told Lili that the only time she should shoot at anyone is if she is being threatened (rape counts as threatening, Francis). I just don't want her to think its ok to shoot people. She probably already knew that, but I just wanted to be sure.
July 18,
Arthur must have noticed Lili's new handgun. He stopped by my house and gave me a lecture on how "irresponsible" it was to give my fourteen year old sister a handgun. I told him it's no big deal, and that I got my first gun when I was six years old! That shut him up. He was either afraid, or annoyed by this, because he said "I really must go now." and then walked away. He's probably upset because he wasn't allowed to have a gun until he was eighteen (what a deprived childhood that must've been).
July 19,
Today, at the world meeting, Gilbert and Francis were being total jerks! I was walking around, minding my own business, and I saw Bella. I walked over to say hello. But that's when the drama happened. Gilbert ran up behind me and pushed me so I would fall on top of her. While we were both on the ground, with me on top of her, Francis took a lot of pictures. That's just great! Now, people are going to get the wrong idea when they see those pictures. This is terrible!
July 20,
Sure enough, Gilbert and Francis made flyers to go along with the "lovely" pictures they took. They posted the flyers everywhere! They even had captions. They read: These two lovebirds, Vash and Bella, express their love for each other in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Isn't that fantastic? Now everyone's going to think that Bella and I had a little too much fun at a world meeting!
July 21,
Today, I went to go for a walk alone in the park. I go on walks when I'm upset. And practically everyone I know was there, holding one of the flyers. Almost as if Gilbert and Francis called them all there, which they did! Those two idiots had everyone there to see me get humiliated. Gilbert started saying stuff like, "Vash, I know you love Bella with all your heart. And I know she feels the same way. But that doesn't mean that you two should make love in the middle of a world meeting!" Everyone in the crowd started to whisper excitedly and confusedly. I saw that Bella was in the crowd of people, and she didn't look too happy. I knew I had to do something, so I punched Gilbert in the gut. He fell over, and when he got up, he ran away, because he's a wimp. Francis ran with him because he's an even bigger wimp. Then I told everyone what really happened. So now everything is ok, everyone knows the truth.
July 22,
Today, Bella came to my house. She thanked me for what I did, and that it was really brave to stand up to Gil and Francis like that. I told her that I did it for the both of us. She told me that was really sweet of me, and then...the unimaginable happened. She gave me a kiss on the cheek! It felt weird. It was like my face was burning. I didn't know what to do, so I stood there motionless for about twenty minutes, then left. I feel stupid for not making my move, but I guess it doesn't really matter.
July 23,
Lili read my journal again. She said it does matter, and that I "have" to go talk to Bella and "express" myself. If there is one thing I ever learned, it is that I am terrible at talking about my true feelings. I think I'll go talk to Bella tomorrow...today I have to learn how to talk to women. I'm not going to ask for advice, because that's given me nothing but trouble. I'm just going to think to myself.
July 24,
Well, I talked to Bella today. I think it went very well. I told her that Lili asked me to express my true feelings. So I told her everything she needs to know. I told her that I think she's a very nice person, and that was pretty much it. I knew that if I told Bella that I like her, then all hell will break loose! I did what I did for the greater good, because the last thing I need is the Bad Touch Trio finding out that I have a secret affinity for Bella (though it's probably not a secret anymore).
July 25,
I heard Lili talking to Elizaveta over the phone. I heard things like "he's in denial" and "they'd look so cute together". Why do they think it's their job to pair me up with Bella? Maybe they should drop the subject, and leave everything to me; I (sort of) know what I'm doing.
July 26,
I'm surprised that Lili and Elizaveta didn't try anything today. Maybe they listened to me and are finally leaving me alone. Either that or they're plotting some grand-scale plan that'll be bad for everyone involved! It's probably the first theory, but you can never be too safe. I'm keeping an eye out for them. I don't want to deal with another one of their plans.
July 27,
I'm starting to believe that Lili and Elizaveta are up to something. They've been talking, but I couldn't listen in because they were whispering (whispering is the number one sign of plotting). I'm really fed up with all this. I have to find a way to keep myself out of all this.
July 28,
I've decided that in order to keep myself out of any more of Lili's/Elizaveta's plans, I'm going to seclude myself in my house until all this nonsense finally calms down. It shouldn't take long, one or two weeks should do the trick. It may sound a bit extreme, but it's just a small price to pay in return for my own well-being.
July 29,
Lili told me that I'm not allowed to hide indoors for two weeks, and that I'm acting too paranoid. So I'm just going to keep my distance from Lili and Elizaveta when I'm in public. This way, Lili won't think I'm being anti-social, and I can leave my house to get food and water. My original plan wasn't really fit for survival, since I didn't have enough food and water to last two weeks. I'll just keep my distance from those two until they stop whispering their schemes to each other over the phone.
July 30,
People are acting weird when they see me avoiding Lili. I'm usually always at her side, so when they see I'm trying to keep away from her, it changes things drastically. Gil even asked me if I was mad at her, or if she was mad at me. I told him 'no' to both questions, though I didn't explain why, because I don't want him to get into my business. I'm sure everyone will stop making a big deal about this by tomorrow.
July 31,
Everyone's still making a big deal about it today. I'm going to stop avoiding Lili, because I hate drawing attention to myself. It's not really safe for Lili to go anywhere without me, anyway. She has a gun, but there are so many people who would try to harm her. There's Francis, Emil, Ivan, or even Peter. I don't even care that I'm now risking myself public humiliation, Lili needs my protection. I don't know what I was thinking when I was trying to avoid her. From this day on, I will always be at Lili's side to protect her at all costs. At least until she's eighteen, that's when she won't want my protection anymore (teenagers can be rebellious), but even then, I'll be there for her. There's no such thing as "too safe".
