Chapter 11
It was juvenile but I was avoiding them. Esme, who seemed to have a second sight when it came to her "children," was hounding me with phone calls and text messages. I didn't want to remember Edward. It had been a month since he had shown himself here but the memories remained. Curse our vampire minds that retain every memory with alacrity.
Recently, I had begun to have waking nightmares where I was running through the forest with giant wolves following me. In them I was desperately searching for Edward and the protection of his cool embrace. I would be sitting in class half listening to the lecture when these pictures would flood my mind. One time Lily grabbed my arm to pull me out of it.
"Are you alright? You were staring off into space, so still that if you hadn't been quietly groaning I would have thought you died there in your seat. Your eyes were open but it was like you were asleep," she said frantically.
"I'm alright, just a little shaken. I must have fallen asleep with my eyes open," I lied casually. That was more plausible than having visions of being somewhere else with an enormous pack of wolves on your tail. I shivered involuntarily at the thought.
Whatever Edward had done to me, the effects were lasting. I considered seeking him out but I didn't want to bring up these feelings in me again. The memories had filled me confusion about who I was. Thinking about them made me feel ill, if that is even possible for a vampire. My mind would swirl with memories of them and me.
I heard my phone buzz for the tenth time today. I looked down to see it was Alice. I didn't bother answering it. She called it several more times but I ignored it. They were part of the problem. If they wanted to find Edward, they could do it on their own.
Class droned on for another hour or so with my phone buzzing occasionally with either Rosalie or Alice showing up on caller ID. I think I had about twenty six messages by the end of the day. I hit the delete key without listening to them.
At home I sat on the computer and planned out my upcoming trip to South America. I had talked Lily into traveling with me on a whirlwind tour of the major hot spots in Brazil, Venezuela, and Chile. She had resisted at first saying she didn't have any money but I promised her I would take care of it.
I told her my father had left me quite a bit of money when he passed away and would want me to use it to see the world. I convinced her with the line that 'what good is seeing the world if you have no one to share it with.' She perked up a little bit and our friendship was blossoming.
Through weeks of effort I found out she was the only child of a wealthy investment banker. Her parents were divorced and her step mother, nearly her age, drove her to madness with her constant complaints. Her mother had disappeared some years back, claiming that she didn't have the means to care for her only daughter. Between the criticisms from her step mother and the disappearance of her mother, it made sense that she would be so introverted.
One of her step mother's major issues was with Lily's weight. She was never thin enough for her standards. I couldn't exactly tell what her problem was because Lily was overly thin, the cheek bones in her face stuck out and her eyes looked sunken. When I saw a picture of her step mother I could see the beginnings of a small bulge around her waistline and realized it was just jealousy that drove her step mother to cruelty but that would hardly comfort Lily.
Instead I spent the month dragging her to every restaurant I knew trying to get her to eat. I had never consumed so much human food in my whole life. I couldn't help but think of the waste that it was with all the food ending up in the toilet. It was uncomfortable, too, because I couldn't relieve myself until after I left Lily for the night. The last thing I wanted was to be a role model for bulimia.
The trip would take us through Rio, Sao Paulo, Caracas, and Santiago. We would have tours through each of the cities with side trips to see the indigenous culture. I could hardly wait for June to come. I imagined all the Latino men with their dark skin and eyes and tried to replace Edward with images I found on the various websites.
It was still two months away before my mind drifted into another vision. A vision appeared of a country side flying by. It was beautiful and green and reminded me of several trips through Tuscany with Nathaniel. The vision disappeared quickly and my thoughts resumed.
I spent the rest of the evening completing my final paper for my art history class. It was rather dull but cogent. I knew I would get an excellent grade on the paper seeing as how I had put every night for the past four weeks into it. I could hardly imagine another student investing anywhere near that much time.
I flipped through my pages quickly checking for any errors, of course there were none but it didn't feel right to not proof read. While flipping another vision hit me, dark this time. It felt cool to my skin which was interesting since I cold didn't really register with my icy body. I would have enjoyed the sensation if it weren't for the feeling of fear that also crept upon me. The vision dissipated like mist in the sun.
I jumped up and groped through my back pack for my cell phone. I started going through the hundred text messages that were stored on my phone. Good thing I got that extra memory.
The first message was all I needed to see, "going to Italy, Edward in trouble." I froze thinking through everything. Were these visions somehow connected to the trouble Edward was in? Did I now have some link to Edward? It was possible since we both had some telepathic abilities. My ability to control emotions wasn't physical but rather mental and Edward could read minds. Perhaps whatever he had done had linked us together.
I dialed Carlisle's number but he didn't pick up. I supposed they were panicking like I was panicking. I dialed Esme's number and she didn't pick up. Finally after dialing through everyone else, I dialed Rosalie's number. If my relationship with Edward was uneasy, my relationship with Rosalie was frigid. Other women tended to be a threat to her.
"What is it?" Rosalie's voice snapped at me on the other end.
"Where's Edward? Why is he in Italy," I questioned.
"What do you care, it isn't like you have picked up your damn phone in the past few weeks. Don't pretend to care now," she practically shouted back into the phone. I nearly hung up but I needed to know what is going on.
"Where are you?"
"We are in Alaska at the airport to head back to Forks. Someone is going to have to deal with this mess."
"Is Tanya there?"
"Yes."
"Can I talk to her?"
"No."
"I don't feel like playing twenty questions with you, Rosalie. Hand the fricken phone over to someone who is willing to talk to me."
I heard Emmett's voice in the back ground ordering her to hand the phone to Tanya. She growled back at him but I heard Tanya's breathing move closer to the phone receiver and I sighed in relief.
"Tanya, what is going on? Where are Carlisle and Esme?"
"Carlisle and Esme left to go back to New York before returning to Forks. Edward thought Bella was dead and went to have the Volturi annihilate him," she explained. She was trying to sound calm but I knew her feelings ran rather deep and her emotion was just barely beneath the surface.
"Carlisle has asked that you not come to Forks. He doesn't want to complicate matters more than they already appear to be," she went on. I couldn't help but wonder if she took a little pleasure in relaying that information. But I brushed off any jealousy because she wouldn't be traveling to Forks either.
"Does he know? About what happened, I mean?"
"What do you mean, what happened?"
"With Edward when he came to visit me. Why does everyone need to play twenty questions?" I was shouting now.
"What happened between you and Edward?" her voice became strained. I had brushed off any jealousy but the color green swam through my mind as she talked. It was one thing for him to fall in love with a human but with me; I don't think she could live with that.
"It was nothing. He just did something to me where I have visions now."
Her voice eased, "I suppose he must have told Carlisle because Carlisle specifically told us to tell you to stay away until this is all sorted out."
She promised to call me soon with more information. I hung up the phone and thought of that last night with Edward. Perhaps there was some part of me that was hoping it was me he would come back to. I sank back into my sofa, frozen until dawn the next day.
