The hell you goin on about, Blue?
Disclaimer: Rooster Teeth owns Red vs Blue, guys. And Disney owns Frozen. You'd have to be Caboose to think we do.
~•~
"1 or 2?" asked Texas.
"What do you care more about?"
"Meh. Since this is a false timeline 1 wouldn't really matter, would it?"
"A false timeline?" Grif repeated. "What are you on?"
"In the real timeline, all the fragments, Tex, and Church are pretty much dead forever, I'm not here, Jessie's not here, and nobody has magic powers," Texas explained.
"Speaking of which.." Silver muttered, pointing to the spot where Tucker Dos.O was, but now wasn't.
"Oh. Looks like Tucker Dos.O went back to the real timeline." Texas shrugged.
"Oh, no," Silver laughed, looking almost cheerful. "He got so mindfucked he exploded into a million pieces!"
"How.. Delightful..?"
"Sorry," Silver muttered. "I think I have a case of Dr. Grey."
"Yup." Texas nodded.
"Why does she keep coming out of nowhere?" Tucker asked, pointing to Silver.
"Silver, you did the mindwipe wrong last time."
Silver shook her head, "I don't think so.. He must be blocking it somehow."
"Who is she?" Church asked.
"My friend. It's the sword, Silver! We have to get it away from him if you want to mindwipe properly."
"What are you talking about!?" Tucker shouted. "Why do you know each other? Why does she keep coming here?"
"Give me your damn sword. I know her because I exist somewhere else, and I don't know. Cause she wants to, I guess."
"You exist somewhe- nevermind, I'm not giving you my sword!"
Jessie scratched her head, "What is that singing noise?"
"IT'S CAROLINA, GODDAMNIT! I DON'T WANT INTENSE WINTER! NOOOO!"
"Is she okay?" Simmons asked, looking at Texas.
"IF SHE'S SINGING LET IT GO SHE'S MAKING WINTER GODDAMNIT! And, since Wash will not say if he's her brother and York is dead, I'm pretty sure we're going to all live in an eternal winter unless we get the fuck off this planet!"
"I'm right here," came a voice. Everyone turned in the direction it came from, and found York.
"As soon as it starts snowing you need to go make out with Carolina." Texas said.
"I-wha... You're not even surprised!?" Exclaimed Jessie.
"Church died, he came back. Texas died, she came back. Epsilon commited suicide, he came back. Carolina died, she came back. Donut died, he came back."
"Carolina and Donut were never dead," Jessie said.
"They were assumed to be dead. Carolina fell off the bazillion foot high cliff of death and Donut got.. What, shot in the face? Yeah. Who's to say what happened with Donut didn't happen to York? Oh, and Wash, shut up. I don't care."
"But-" Wash started.
"Simmons saw Donut's corpse and you saw York's corpse, whatever, don't pull that shit on me."
"Delta said he was dead. That's more reliable than Doc," Washington pointed out.
"Delta can lie, Wash. You got him to, what's to say he didn't decide to lie about York?"
"But... He blew up!"
"But he's right here." Texas looked up to see if snow had started falling. It had.
"He blew up!"
"But he's RIGHT HERE!"
"He. Blew. Up."
"York, did you blow up?" Texas questioned, turning to face York.
"No, I was saved by-" York was cut off by a unidentifiable figure tackling him.
"Are you okay, York?" Texas stepped forward.
"Uh.. His mouth is covered in tape," Jessie commented
"I'm just going to tell you: I'm sort of blind." Texas crept around, looking for anymore ninjas before ripping off the tape like a bandaid.
"Who tackled him?" Grif asked.
"What color did you see?"
"..A lot of colors."
"...Someone with armor that changes color.. Any Freelancer. Kay."
"It wasn't Carolina," York said, standing up.
"No shit, York. I'm pretty sure she would have stayed. Or taken you."
"Any ideas?" Jessie asked.
"Well, there was probably about 50 Freelancers. It couldn't have been Wash, Carolina, York, or Maine. Doesn't really narrow it down much."
"Who said it was a Freelancer?"
"I did. It could also be not a Freelancer.. But if you widen it that much, there's pretty much no chance of finding out who it is."
"Where did that Silver chick go?" Asked Tucker, looking around.
"Silver, you forgot to mindwipe. And take Tucker's sword while you do it this time."
"I don't think she's here," Jessie said. "Where did you see her last?"
"It doesn't matter. She can teleport here."
"Silver?" York asked. "That one with the brown hair and the fancy scarf?"
"Maybe?"
"I think she's the one who tackled him," Church told everyone.
Texas placed a plaid detective hat on Church's head. "Congrats, you are now Sherlock Holmes."
"Uh.."
"What? He's one of the greatest fictional detectives ever of all time!" Texas grinned slyly at Wash as she said the last bit.
"Can Church even see properly?" Tucker asked. "Cause he can't aim worth shit."
"He needs glasses."
"Can an AI wear glasses?"
"I think he has to program himself some."
"Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore!"
"Uh.. Who's singing?" Simmons asked.
Texas clenched her fists. "Carolina! It's about to start snowing. Also, does anyone have some babies I can maul?"
~•~
Stupid Blues and their magic snow powers.
