Cragens Daughter 12

Joanne followed Olivia to the drink machine then they went upstairs. There was a comfortable couch, a tv, it was more quiet and almost like a living room up there. Olivia showed Joanne the view from the balcony pointing out Cragens office, her desk and different places where she wasn't allowed to go without an escort. She gave her the remote and a smile. "Anything else you need?"

"How long have you known my father?"

"Eight almost nine years."

"What do you think of him?"

Olivia was silent for a few moments. "He's my captain so it's hard to say as a father......"

"Aren't captains like fathers?" Joanne asked with a grin.

Olivia grinned. "I guess you could say that. Your father is as good of a man as they come, he's honest and caring and he always tries to do the right thing. He's a very moral man, someone you can be proud of."

"But he's an alcoholic."

"Yes, he is and he admits it. I haven't seen him take a drink in eight years and we've had some pretty stressful times when he could have. He's a good man, he's the captain, but he's also human and like any human he makes mistakes. He's not perfect, but he's damned good at who he is and what he does. Give him a chance, you won't be sorry."

"Promise?"

"I promise you won't be sorry that you try. Listen, I have to get back to work. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

Joanna sank down on the sofa and turned on the tv. A young officer came up the stairs and brought her a coke and a sandwich with chips in a basket. "The cafeteria is pretty much closed for the evening so the captain sent this up for you." he said.

"Thanks. Who are you?"

"Randy Miller, Patrolman Randy Miller. Are you waiting for someone? I can let you know when they arrive."

"Detective Stablers wife. That would be nice, yes. So you work here?"

"For the moment. I'm waiting for my partner to get back from court then we'll be going out on patrol. I offered to come up here. I like to see what goes on around the station house. Someday I hope to make detective." Randy said with a shy smile. "How about you?"

Joanna shrugged. "I don't really know what I want to be. How-How did you decide to become a cop?"

"Family tradition." Randy straighted and threw back his shoulders proudly. "All the men in my family have been in law enforcement since the first one who was a sheriff in a rinky dink town out west. It's a proud tradition in our family."

"What about the girls? Are they cops too?" Joanna asked slyly.

Randy looked a bit sheepish. "Not usually. We don't have many girls in our family and they don't go into this much. They usually marry cops though. It makes for great discussions when we all get together."

"How come there aren't any women cops in your family?"

"If they wanted to go into it they could, I guess." Miller said. "They just don't."

"I'm going to. I think it's a cool job." Joanna said firmly.

"I thought you said you didn't know what you were going to be." He teased gently.

"I can be anything I want to. And I want to be a cop." Joanna said. "Like Olivia Benson."

"I heard she's good and pretty, too. I can't see you as a cop. You'll be pretty when you're all grown up. You may not want to be a cop after all."

Joanna nodded embarrassed that he'd called her pretty. "T-Thank you for the food."

"You're welcome. I guess I'd better get back now. It was nice to meet you."

"You, too."

The uniformed young man turned and hurried down the stairs. Joanna's heart was beating rapidly. He said she'd be pretty when she grew up. Mom said that, too, but then she was supposed to. There were more footsteps on the stairs and Olivias head peaked up over the top step. "Mrs. Stabler will be here in half an hour, honey. She just called."

"Thank you. Olivia, can I ask you a question?"

"If it's a quick one. I have to get back downstairs."

"What does it take to be a cop? A woman cop, I mean?"

"Um, that would be a good one to ask your Dad. It's a father type of question, but some other time, I'll talk to you about it, if you like. Okay? Be right down." Olivia smiled at her and went back downstairs.

Joanna took a bite of sandwich and sat back to watch the television but it was only noise and movement. Her mind was a million miles away from the show. For the first time she felt like more than a young girl at the whim of fate and parental control. She could be anything she wanted to be. The idea pleased to her enormously. What had Mom always told her "Joanna, you just have to make your choice in life then go after it." When Joanna had decided she wanted to take dance classes, she'd worked for the neighbor lady raking leaves and working in her garden to earn the money for the lessons. It turned out she didn't like the classes, but the fact that she'd earned the money herself had been one of the best things she'd ever done. Too bad old Mrs. Mahoney had died. She had been such a nice lady.

She'd eaten the entire sandwich and drunk most of the coke by the time someone came up to get her that Mrs. Stabler was waiting downstairs. She waved to her Dad as she walked out. Elizabeth Stabler was standing next to her mother when Joanna came down with another junior officer and she was glad to see her. Elizabeth was always nice at school.

They went back to the Stabler house and Joanna was made to feel like one of the family. They did homework together, talked about their different teachers and agreed that the principal was way out of touch with the times. They were laughing loudly about the newest billboards in the hallways in a comedy contest when the household phone rang. Mrs. Stabler answered it. She talked for a few minutes then came over to the table.

"Joanna, that was my husband. There's been a break in the case so it'll be awhile before you can go home. How about if you stay with us for awhile. You can share a room with Elizabeth or there's another one that belongs to one of the other girls."

"I don't want to be any trouble." Joanna said nervously.

"It's no trouble. You're about Kathleens size so you can borrow something of hers to sleep in. I can wake you when your Dad comes to get you." Kathy Stabler offered.

Joanna wanted to argue, but she could see it was no use. She was smart enough to give in gracefully. "Thank you, that would be nice."

The girls picked up their schoolwork and retreated to Elizabeths room. "I'm sorry." Elizabeth said to Joanna.

"For what?"

"About your mom, and having to stay here. It can be hard, having a cop in the family."

"Does this happen alot?" Joanna asked quietly.

"Sometimes. That's why it's nice to have my mom home alot. Oh, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean anything by it. Would it...would it be okay if I sleep in here tonight?"

"Sure. Do you want the top or the bottom bunk?"

"It's your room."

"But you're the guest." Elizabeth shrugged. "It's up to you."

"I've never slept on a top bunk before."

Elizabeth grinned. "Then here's your chance. Bathrooms in there and we leave a light on in the hall in case Eli wakes up and for Dad when he comes home."

The girls were ready for bed in short order. Kathy Stabler knocked on the door to see if they needed anything else. To Joannas surprise Elizabeth knelt down by her bedside and prayed unashamedly before she crawled into bed. In the darkness where there was privacy and no censure she asked. "Your religion is important to you, isn't it?"

"It is. I've been going to church since I was a little kid. Do you?" Elizabeth asked in the same tone.

"No, Mom and I moved around so much we didn't go to any church. Does it help? To pray, I mean?"

"It helps me. God hears my prayers, I'm sure of that, sometimes it just helps to know someone is listening just to listen. There's the saying that He doesn't always give you what it is you're asking for, but he gives you what you need. Maybe it would help you feel better if you talked to him."

"I don't know. I don't know what to say."

"You'd think of something, I'm sure. Good night, Joanna."

"Good night."

At 12:30 Don Cragen showed up at the Stabler home, a sleepy Joanna pulled her clothes on and let herself be led down to the car, home to the apartment and put to bed. She barely remembered it the next morning.

TBC