Reagan POV
Its been two days since Amy left Belle's. Left me. and I still haven't heard from her. She isn't answering any of my calls or texts and I'm starting to get worried. I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her. I'm falling for her. I've never felt so strongly for someone in such a short period of time. I've never fallen this fast. I've never felt so complete. Even looking back on my relationship with Naya before she broke my heart o get back together with her ex-boyfriend I can't recall ever feeling this way. So as I lay here I knowI have to do something. I can't let Amy go that easy. I have to fight. I have to try to fight. I have to see her. I have to explain.
Déjà vu sets in as I pull into Amy's driveway and I pray that this time the outcome will be different. I walk up to the door and take a deep breath before knocking. I take a step backwards as I see the handle of the door begin to move and hope that it won't be slammed in my face by the person on the opposing side when they see me. I'm oddly relieved when I see Farrah on the other side
"Hi. Is Amy home?"
"No she's at Karma's. She hasn't been home for a couple days."
Karma's? That must be the girl I saw Amy with. The girl from all the pictures.
"Do you think you can tell me where Karma lives?"
"Hold on one second."
I watch as she walks away returning a few minutes later with a piece of paper with an address on it.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
I take he address and make my way back to my truck.
Minutes later I pull into the driveway of the house the mystery girl that now had a name lives. I knock on the door and wait patiently. A few minutes pass with no answer and I turn to walk back to my truck only to spin around to the sound of the door closing behind me and an unfamiliar voice calling my name.
"Reagan. Wait."
The girl is now making her way towards me at a fast pace. As my eyes remain locked on her face.
"Don't go. You need to talk to her."
"I know. That's why I'm here."
"Right. Well come inside then. She's in my room sleeping. She cried herself to sleep a couple hours ago. She's heartbroken you know."
"I know. I am too."
I began to follow her into the house. She closes the door behind me and points to a closed door down the hall.
"She's in there. I'll give you guys space to talk. I should be back in an hour or so. My parents won't be home until tomorrow so you'll have time to figure things out without anyone interrupting."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me. I just want my best friend to be happy again and right now you have been what makes her happy."
"You don't make her happy?"
"Not anymore."
"Why?"
I know I'm crossing the line. I just met this girl hell I haven't even introduced myself and neither has she but I'm curious. What changed from all the pictures until now?
"That's not for me to tell you. You need to talk to Amy."
"I will."
"I hope so. Well I should get going and let you two get to it."
"Thanks. By the way who exactly are you?"
" Karma. Amy hasn't told you about me?"
"No."
"She hasn't said one word about me?!"
The anger is evident in her voice and only gets worse as each syllable leaves her mouth.
"No. Nothing."
"Great. Just great. Well it looks like I'm going to have to have a talk with Amy too."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause a problem between you two."
"It's not your fault. I'm just going to have a long discussion with her when I get back."
Before I knew it she was storming out the door and having it slam behind her. I walk slowly towards the door Karma pointed to earlier and carefully push it open. I peaked my head through before entering. Amy's laying on the bed in the fetal position. Her eyes are puffy and her cheeks are moist from the tears. I make my way over to her and lay next to her. I wrap my arm around her and pull myself closer so I can feel her body against mine and breathe in her scent. I feel her relax into my touch becoming less tense with every exhale. I lay there enjoying the silence. Enjoying being able to be close to Amy once again but I know this is the calm before the storm and I know I have to wake her. Before I have a chance to wake her, her body shifts and she rolls to face me. Our eyes meet and I can see the sorrow in her eyes.
"Hi Shrimp Girl."
"What are you doing here?"
"I missed you and I needed to talk to you and try to explain."
"How did you know I was here?"
"I went to your house and your mom told me where I could find you."
"Where's Karma?"
"She had to leave. She wanted to give us some time to talk."
"I don't want to talk. You hurt me Reagan."
"I know and I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want to talk but can you at least listen?"
She shakes her head and looks up to me from her position resting on the pillow.
"I'm sorry that I lied and I'm sorry I went behind your back and talked to your mom. But I'm not sorry for doing it. I'm sorry for how I did it."
I take a deep breath before continuing.
"After meeting your mom and looking through the photos I could tell you were keeping something from me. Keeping something hidden. I thought it was something about your dad and I knew you didn't like talking about him so I went to the only person I could."
She interrupts me and I can hear the hurt in her voice with every word.
"If you would of asked me I would have told you."
"I understand that now but I don't think I could have got the same answer or left with the question I did if I would of asked you. And that's the only reason I'm not sorry for talking to your mom. As for not telling you that I remember you and knowing who you were when we went to Belle's I am sorry but I didn't want to scare you away and as we got closer I didn't want to tell you and fill you with my memories when you have none of your own. I didn't want to give you memories. I wanted you to have memories."
"What question?"
"What?"
"You said you left my house with a question you wouldn't have had if you talked to me."
"Amy."
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"What's the real reason you stopped going to Belle's?"
She stares at me for a moment not saying a word. She reaches over her body and removes my arm from my embrace before removing herself from the bed. I close my eyes once more trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to break through. I fail to do so as tears began to fall down my face. I don't even notice that Amy has crawled back into bed until I feel her thumb running against my cheek wiping away my tears.
"Don't cry. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you. I'm mad you talk to my mom and not me but I can't be mad at you for not telling me that you remembered. I understand why you didn't and I'm glad you didn't."
"Really? Why?"
"If you would have told me from the beginning or before we found that picture I wouldn't have talked to my mom. I wouldn't have found this."
I looked down at her hand and see a small silver locket in her palm.
"Amy. Where did you get this?"
"You. You gave it to me."
I look at her taking my eyes off the familiar piece of jewelry to see a soft smile on her face.
"You gave it to me after you told me I was your best friend. You said as long as I hung onto it you would be a part of my life."
I smile at her and begin to tear up once again but this time they're happy tears.
"Well I still have it and I still want you in my life. I'm sorry it took me so long but I remember. I remember everything. So to answer your question, I didn't want to go back to Belle's because I didn't want to lose another person in my life that I cared for. That I loved. Losing my dad hurt me but if I would have lost you it would have destroyed me. So I stopped asking to see you. I didn't want to risk losing you to something other than me. I couldn't have been able to recover if I lost you in another way. A way that wasn't my desicision. A way I couldn't control."
"Amy. You wouldn't have lost me."
"You don't know that. Besides if we would have stayed friends. If I would have stayed we might not be where we are now. I like where we are now. I like that we found each other again. I like having to get to know you all over again. I like. No. I love that I'm falling for you."
"I'm falling for you too and it scare me. I've never fallen this fast for someone. These past two days have been torture. Not being able to talk to you or see you destroyed me. I want you in my life. I need you. I want to be able to see you everyday. Talk to you every hour, every second of the day. And every minute I don't get to do one of those things a part of me breaks. And that scares me even more because I don't know how long it's going to last this time."
"I don't know how long it's going to last. I know if we're not together though I still want you in my life. Even if we are just friends. Im not going to let you walk away."
I stare back at her as her eyes shift down away from mine and watch as she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. I can tell she's hurting but I don't know why.
"I'm not worried about going anywhere. I want to stay. I want to be with you."
"Amy."
"Please let me finish."
"Okay. Sorry."
"I'm worried you're the one thats going to leave. The one thats going to walk away."
"Amy. Where's this coming from?"
"I need to tell you something but I'm afraid you'll leave once you find out."
"Amy. It's going to take a lot for me to want to leave."
"Just promise me you'll stay."
"I promise."
"I'm sorry I ignored you these past few days. I just needed time to myself to think about things.
"Think about us?"
"No. Well sort of, but not in the way you're thinking. I'm not mad at you for not telling me and keeping that you remembered me a secret. I'm mad at myself because I haven't had the guts to tell you mine. Until now. Okay. So a lot has happened over the past ten years. Things that I'm not proud of and things that I didn't exactly plan. But all these things led me to you and for that I'm grateful. But if you're going to be with me and want to be with me I need to be able to tell you this. I need you to know. I don't want anymore secrets between us."
I reach out and grab her hand letting her know it's okay to continue and reminding her of the fact I'm still there.
"The girl who let you in. The one whose house this is."
"Karma."
I finish her sentence seeing her struggle to get the name out.
"Yeah. Karma. You see me and Karma have a complicated relationship. She's been my best friend for ten years. She came into my life after my dad, after Belle's, after you. She's a huge part of my life and if you're going to be with me you have to accept part of me is always going to be hers and with her."
"Amy your allowed to have a best friend."
"That's the problem. She's more than a best friend."
"You two were a couple?"
"No. Sort of."
I drop her hand and just stare at her as the tears begin to form in both our eyes. How could Amy do this. How could she run to her. We get into our first fight and she runs to her ex-girlfriend.
"We were faking being lesbians to be popular."
"You were a fake lesbian?!"
"No. No. No Karma was faking. I... I um..."
"You're in love with her."
I watch her as her head drops. She looks everywhere except at me. She didn't even have to say anything to give me an answer. It's all over her face. The pictures make so much sense now. It was love. Amy has love for Karma. Even if she didn't admit to herself or to Karma at the time, it's so clear in the photos. That's what made her eyes different, thats what I couldn't quite figure out at the time. Amy loves the girl in the photos, the girl who has been in her life for ten years, the girl who is her best friend, the girl who isn't me. And it's all in Amy's eyes. All right there. Right in front of me. And I can't help but to wonder if this is the reason she kept Karma from me. Why she kept her a secret. Why she never mentioned her. And the more I think the more I know it has to be true. What other reason could there be.
"That's it I'm leaving."
"Reagan don't go."
"Sorry Shrimp Girl. Life's to short to chase someone who's chasing someone else."
"I'm not in love with Karma anymore."
"Then why didn't you tell me about her? I'm sorry. I can't do this if Karma is going to be lingering in the background."
"She won't be I promise. I should have told you about Karma. My feelings for her are complicated we have a past but... but I want a future with you. But she's always going to be a part of my life and you've got to be okay with that."
"I can't do this. Not now. I'm sorry."
