Chapter 12

Oh my. I am only 17, just. This seems wrong.

I'm so glad that I had a slight upper hand making him wait until we have had proper sex. I could hold him off until I was 100% sure of my decision.

Looking back I may have been a bit rash in my decision. In his… room, I just agreed straight away- didn't really think much in to it. However, now being sat at my Mac researching exactly what this relationship entails I am now slightly worried.

I have never even had sex before and he wants me to participate in all of this? Maybe that's why he wants me, why he feels attracted to me because of my innocence. I wish I lied now.


Submissive (adjective)

"Giving in or tending to give in to the demands or authority of others"


Hell I can't even listen to my own parents let alone become his 'submissive'. Oh God my parents. I quickly delete all the history on my laptop praying that dad doesn't choose now to check my history.

He would be furious.

Well that's an understatement. There are no words for the way Mr. Controlling would react. He'd probably ruin half of Seattle's business World in rage. Oh, I don't even want to think about my dad whilst all this is running round my mind.

It's not illegal. The legal age for sex in Washington State is 16, I'm 17. Just.

However, there are no laws concerning the legal age for BDSM relationships. Surely that would be higher?

Am I ready for all of this? It seems like a lot to take on and I'm not sure that I could find the time and the excuses to leave the house regularly to participate in his little hobby.

But it's not his hobby; it's a "way of life". He must be joking around with me; there is no way a 17 year old can take up this way of life.

What do I do?

There's no-one to voice my fears too either. Family is a no go as their Grey gene would kick in and they would call the police shouting blue murder. Even Becki isn't approachable, she would either pass out or demand to no more and I can't be dealing with the Rebecca Grey interrogation right now.

I am truly alone in my decision.

Who would have thought the first decision I ever have to make on my own would be like this. It is life changing to say the least.

Despite all the negatives I just can't shake the feeling that I want to explore more. That I want to see what those chests of drawers held for me. How he could use, what looked like torture equipment, on me for pleasure.

That's what this is all about apparently, 'testing the limits of the submissive's pleasure', or so my research told me.

I am curious.

This is a dangerous path I'm about to walk if I decide to do it. It could take me to dark places.

Dark places I am keen to explore.


This chapter is just really here to show the confusion that Phoebe faces and all the different thoughts running through her head!

I do apologise for how short it is but the next one is longer I promise!

REVIEW REPLIES!

arletteramirez89- Thank you so much for your review it means a lot! Glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope you enjoy this one even though it is extremely short I hope it gave you an insight into what's really happening in Phoebe's mind!

Cynthia74- Thank you for your persistence with this story and regular reviews it means a lot to know that you are still interested enough to read and review! Well who knows if CG will ever find out? How will he react? Well I have something in mind for that chapter but any ideas and inputs would be much appreciated!

New followers- Thank you!

Jcp77. darkbeauty907, shanay palmer

And to my new favourite! Thank you!

Roadrunner3x