I walked back to my house in the rain. When I got there I didnt even go inside. I just sat outside in the rain and cradled my head in my hands. I breathed slowly but it did no use as the tears that were streaming down my face kept coming, and knowing it was my fault Gale was gone, only made it feel like someone was strangling me. I never wanted to see Gale hurt, never wanted to see him hurt, but then again, I never wanted any of this either. I didn't want to grow up in district 12. I didn't want to have to watch the Hunger Games on TV every year, I didnt want to attend reapings. I didn't want the mind to explode, I didn't want my dad to die, I didn't want for my mom to tune out everything for a while, I didn't want to start being the only one providing food for my family. I didn't want to end up outback of the bakery. I didnt want to meet Peeta, I didn't want him to throw me bread. I didn't want to entered into the reaping or put my name in extra times. I didn't want Prims name in there. I didn't want Prim to be reaped, I didn't want to have to play the games, I didn't want Peeta to love me, I didn't want to pretend to love him back. I didn't want to have sex with him on the victory tour. I didn't want to get pregnant, or fall in love with Peeta, or loose Gale. But I am pregnant, I do love Peeta, and it has all caused me to lose Gale. I wished he would just appear in front of the steps, walk up and put his arms around me, telling me it would be okay, I wanted him to carry me away. I just couldn't fight these tears and I couldn't face Peeta, Prim or even my mom crying like this. I stood back up and took a walk around the village, just long enough for me to stop the tears temporarily and compose myself enough to get in the house and to my room. I quietly opened the door and then closed it behind me, I don't think anyone heard me so I tiptoed upstairs and shut my bedroom door, locking it behind me. Peeling off my clothes I turned on the shower, and got in. I stood there, knowing the water was hitting me, but not feeling it, trying not to, but crying anyway. I missed Gale so much. I got out when I could no longer see from the tears in my eyes. I put on a nightgown and got into bed, curling up into a ball and falling asleep.

I was in the wood just like earlier, screaming out Gales name, racing to find him. I saw a Capitol hovercraft flying over head and ducked under a tree, then I heard screaming, not just any scream. Gales scream. At this point I didn't care if the capitol found me, I was nothing without Gale anyway. I screamed his name and started running in the direction the hovercraft was going, I heard another scream before I broke through a wall of trees and had to swallow back vomit from escaping when I saw the sight before me. It was Gale, torn, cut apart and bloodied. I ran over to him immediately and took his head in my hands and laid it in my lap, noticing how weak he was.

"Gale," I looked into his eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he barely choked out, "Your here now, that's all I ask of you now."

"Your going to be okay, I promise, I'll get you back to my mom and Prim and they will take good care of you. "

"Katniss... I'm fine, just tired, and some scratches." He was obviusly lying, as he then became very sick and all I could do as he leaned off to the side was look at his helpless face, so pale and young again, and rub his back easily.

"Your not fine Gale." I said forcing back tears.

"But I will be soon, as soon as you come fine me and join me," I knew he was talking about finding him in death and joining him in the afterlife .

"Gale," I started crying and watched as a tear splashed down onto his face, "I'm so sorry. You wouldn't be dying right now if it weren't for me. If I'd never fell for Peeta and if I'd never got pregnant, you'd be okay. I'm sorry Gale, I love you."

"I love you too Katnip," he smiled weakly and his voice was nearly to low when he spoke again. "I have a dying wish, Kiss me please." I was crying heavily but didn't refuse as I softly kissed him, and he kissed me back with his last breath and last ounce of energy, then he died, in my arms, all because of me. The hovercraft suddenly sent down the same thing that pickes up the fallen tributes out of the arena and ripped Gale from my grasp as I hit the ground crying and screaming out no's and I love you's knowing Gale wouldn't hear.

I woke up screaming and before I knew it Peeta had picked the lock on the door and was beside me in an instant. He smoothed my hair down and softly whispered in my ear it was okay, even though I knew it wasn't. Gale was gone, hurt, angry, and completely torn apart, all because of me. I just started straight ahead as Peeta held me in his arms whispering I love you. This time however I am too numb to respond to him.


okay this is probably the only time I will ever do this but I was wondering what you all thought about this? Should I make her zone out? Make Gale die? Write her being depressed? Or just simply after Gale being go a day or two Katniss gets over him?