All or Nothing

Chapter Twelve

Author's note: So the crap that kept me from living my actual life is slowly petering out and I'm finally getting my free time back, so thankfully I can get this fic updated more often. At the same time I am working very hard on my original fiction, which I've never really had time to concentrate on, and all going well if I can get it out there it would free me up to write both fanfic and regular fic.

With that said, I'm looking for a wee bit of help. I'd like if someone who has read and reviewed this fic would be willing to have a look at and critique my original work. More or less a beta reader, who would be willing to give me some measure of agreement to keep my work safe, If you think you'd be up for this, please send me a message here or on my Tumblr: blog/aornff

Now, onto the fun. This chapter was written especially for Spooky Scary Skeleton month. Bonus points if you can spot the nineties pop culture reference.

…..

The meetings with Meena that followed her outburst were painfully awkward, though they had each apologised for going too far. Meena's mannerisms had been odd ever since; her hair got progressively messier, her voice took on a strange mocking cadence and as she drank Elsa's wine liberally, her movements were less controlled and more fumbling.

But this new Meena struck a chord somewhere in Elsa's being, and she tracked the movements of her body even more fervently than she had before, even if she couldn't bring herself to touch her.

At last, Meena seemed to gather up the courage to talk frankly to the queen.

"Your problem," she began, taking a gulp of wine before continuing, "is that you are not truthful."

"Oh? You think I'm a liar? That's a bold statement," Elsa responded neutrally.

"No, not a liar. A liar lies to others and I think you just leave some things out," Meena continued. "But you are not truthful to yourself. You deny yourself and you make your own problems. Things would be so much better if you were true to yourself."

"I am as true to myself as any queen can be," Elsa laughed without mirth. "It's easy for a prostitute to tout such lines…."

"Prostitutes are excellent liars, we lie all the time," Meena threw out flippantly. "How many times do you think I say "I'm so happy to see you!" Or "You're my favourite client." Or "Oh, it's so big, I want it so much!"

She intoned that last phrase with convincing breathy moans, contorting her face in pleasure, before the expression melted and she was wryly smiling again. Elsa looked away, flushing. How was she even supposed to respond to that?

"You are not happy," Meena continued. "I think any queen's subject would like to see her queen happy, even the lowliest of whores."

Elsa wanted to stay quiet, but Meena's words held a hard truth, and she was so very tired.

"I don't think I'm capable of being happy."

Astonishingly, Meena's hard green eyes glittered with sudden tears. She rose from the bed and dressed hurriedly, snapping the clips of her dress with force and throwing on her cloak. Before Elsa could even think to stop her, she was at the sally port.

"You can call me back whenever you decide to let me help you. I will stay away until then," she said, and was gone.

…..

The next day, a lingering malaise was cast over Elsa. She didn't feel sad, or angry, just numb.

"I was a fool to think hiring a prostitute would help."

Her turgid mood was actually lifted at the unexpected sight of Anna tiptoeing down the hall to meet her, pulling on her braids nervously. Here was someone with a problem that could actually be fixed.

"What's wrong, Anna?" she asked, and frowned as Anna jumped.

"I need you to talk to Merida," Anna replied, grimacing.

"What? About what? Did you two have a fight?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Anna groaned, yanking her braids hard. "It's kind of a long story…."

Elsa sighed, ordered some coffee from a passing maid and ushered Anna into her office.

"Okay, so we were talking about birthdays," Anna began as Elsa was already mentally rolling her eyes. "And, like, how was I supposed to know Dunbroch doesn't do birthdays? I mean, she gave me a present anyway so it was okay but how do you not do birthdays? And no Yuletide either so no presents at all! That's just crazy, right?"

"Different cultures," Elsa reminded her. "It's not for us to say what's right or wrong."

"Yes, yes, I know. That's not the point. So I was asking her what kind of stuff they do celebrate and it was all mostly feasting after war and stuff but they have these season celebration things and there was one she was talking about that sounded kinda fun, and I said 'hey, I'd like to do that,' and it got out of control and now she thinks we're going celebrate it. Tonight."

Elsa blinked.

"That….doesn't sound too bad….we hold Moyhen's moon festival here, and Nullartey's sea songs…"

"Noooo," Anna moaned. "This is different! It's this thing where the dead rise up and walk the earth and they kidnap anyone they find outside and eat them! There's this whole thing where everyone locks themselves in their houses so they don't get eaten and they have to hang this stuff on the doors and there's heads and stuff, it's really freaky!"

Ah. Anna, surprisingly brave when it came to throwing herself into the path of danger, was something of a coward when it came to spooky stories. She always had been. An old nanny had once told them a story about an ogre under a bridge and she had refused to cross bridges for almost two years.

"She's in the market right now getting the stuff," Anna moaned some more. "I can't do this. You need to get her to stop."

"Me? Why can't you tell her? It was your idea."

"I can't do that, it'll hurt her feelings," Anna told her, aghast.

…..

When Elsa found Merida, she had commandeered a small part of the kitchen and was mixing some sort of liquid in a pot. The smell of the stuff was keeping the kitchen staff huddled at the far end.

"Anna told me of your celebration a little late," Elsa called to her in Angolsi, to keep the gossiping staff out of the loop.

"Samhain," Merida laughed, wiping her forehead. "It won't be like it is in Dunbroch, but it will be fun."

"What's this I hear about severed heads? Anna was very…chatty….about the severed heads."

"The old kings used to cut off the heads of their enemies and hang them from their horse's manes, or the trees. Their spirits are looking for their lost heads. We hang vegetables on the doors to confuse them. By the time they figure out they've been tricked, it's dawn and they have to leave for the otherworld."

Elsa laughed, despite herself. Arendelle had many celebrations, but nothing so dramatic.

"How is Samhain done back in Dunbroch, then?" she asked.

"We locked ourselves in Mam and Dad's room and told stories. Dad had the best ones," Merida replied, voice bittersweet. "Of course he would, he'd been in loads of battles. He knew exactly who was coming back and how they died. All the little ones drew the faces on the vegetables and hung them on all the doors. We stayed up all night and in the morning we'd light a bonfire and roast the vegetables."

Truth be told, it did sound like fun….

"Anna is rather hopeless when it comes to scary things," she mused, more to herself than to Merida.

"Being scared stupid is part of the fun. When I was a little one we used to dare each other to look out the window and scream if we saw anything move. And the adults were off their faces on the Leann-Ull," she said, gesturing to the bubbling pot of …stuff.

Elsa leaned closer to the pot, and grimaced.

"It tastes better than it smells, I swear," Merida told her, holding up her hands. "Needs a few more hours."

…..

When she locked the door, she came back to find that Anna had taken two of her pillows and was perched on them, glaring at her. She was pressed close to Kristoff's side, probably inappropriately, but there was no-one around and Elsa was hardly going to police her given the circumstances.

All of the palace staff had been sent home, for although Elsa couldn't expect everyone in the town to drop everything to celebrate a foreign holiday at the last minute, to create the right atmosphere for just the four of them required an empty house. There were sentries on the portcullis and the staff would return in the morning.

Anna had, at the very least, deigned to paint what she thought was a frightening face on a pumpkin and hung it from the chamber door before it was locked. A cup of Leann-Ull and two fruit cakes were left outside the door for wandering ancestors, a circle of cushions was made on the floor (celebrating on the floor was important, apparently) and a single candle was lighting the room, casting long shadows. The pitcher of Leann-Ull and a high stack of currant buns sat beside the candle.

They were ready.

"I hate you all, I just want you to know that," Anna grumbled.

"Drink this, you'll feel better," Merida told her, handing her a goblet as Kristoff made 'D'aww' noises and cuddled her.

"Ugh. Is that the stuff you were making in the kitchen? No thanks," Anna muttered.

"It's tradition. You won't have much fun without it…"

"I'll drink it," Elsa said, rolling her eyes and taking the goblet.

The smell had been deceptive, although the alcohol content burned her throat and she coughed. Even with her eyes watering like crazy, she could taste the sweetness of the apples and the prickle of cinnamon.

"Who wants to go first then? You need to hold the candle," Merida told them, holding out the candle.

"I'll do it," Kristoff offered, ignoring Anna's angry look.

"Traitor," she muttered.

…..

"...and now he's got a thousand children, every year there's more, and they just get bigger and bigger! They say they can almost match their father in size, and he can eat a reindeer in one bite and spit out the antlers!"

Kristoff finished, put down the candle and drained his drink.

"That's not scary," Merida scoffed.

"You tell this story to Sven at night, don't you?" Elsa deadpanned. "Even giant wolves can't scale solid stone walls. We're quite safe."

"It's scary when you're on the mountain, that's for sure," Kristoff grumbled.

A dog barked in the courtyard, and Anna screamed.

…..

"…it was full of clothes!"

Merida and Kristoff looked at Elsa, confused. Anna cowered under a blanket.

"Girl's clothes," Elsa added.

They still looked confused.

"They belonged to his daughter! The one that died!" Elsa yelled, a little too loudly. (How many cups of that liquor had she had?)

"So?" Kristoff shrugged.

"So she was the one moving the…things….around!" Elsa spluttered, waving her hands around.

"Oh," Merida said, nodding. She still looked confused.

"Good story," said Kristoff, and he drained his goblet.

Anna sobbed quietly under her blanket.

…..

"…he couldn't tell which head was his, so he tried them all on. When he finally had the one that belonged to him, he had all these spare heads and he made them into a weapon. He tied them together with a…what's the word for this thing again?"

Merida tapped the base of her neck and gestured wildly.

"Um…the spinal cord?" Elsa suggested, feeling more than a little queasy.

"Right, spy-nall coord," she agreed. "He made a club as big as a man and swung it over his head in battle, crushing his enemy's skulls like…thing that is easy to crush. Then he fed the bodies to his horse."

"Horses don't eat meat," Kristoff scoffed, though he looked suspiciously pale.

"Bodh Dearg's did. It was born on a dog and a horse, was half of each. He fed it his own blood so it would only listen to him. The spirits are very angry that they had no burial ground, on Samhain they take bones from other graves to make bodies."

Elsa shuddered, and drained her goblet. Her head felt very fuzzy.

Anna stuffed a currant bun into her mouth and burped loudly.

…..

"….but he can't get you unless you say his name out loud. So don't say his name," Anna slurred, and leaned back with her arms folded.

"But…didn't you say his name?" Merida asked.

"What? No I didn't…"

"You did. You said Candlestick…"

"It's Candlejack!" Anna corrected her, and realized her mistake with a start. "Oh, no…"

"It's fine…"Elsa garbled, trying to put a comforting hand on Anna's arm but missing and knocking over her empty goblet. "So you said Candlejack….it's not real…"

"Now you said it!" Merida gasped, inching away from her.

"What? Candlejack? What?" Kristoff queried, rubbing his forehead and frowning.

"You're all doomed," Merida said darkly.

At that moment, the pumpkin that Anna had tied sloppily to the door came loose and crashed to the ground with a wooden crunch. They all screamed.

…..

"Look at this face," Kristoff cooed. "It's so squishy! How do you do that?"

He was holding Anna's head in his arms and stroking it like a kitten. Anna laughed, seemingly barely aware of where she was. It was all highly inappropriate…

But Elsa couldn't muster the energy to get them to stop. And Merida's legs were thrown across her lap so she couldn't move even if she wanted to.

She poured herself another goblet of that wonderful, wonderful liquor and poured one for Merida too, who accepted it with a dazed grunt.

…..

Daylight flooded the chamber and a sunbeam pierced through Elsa's head like an arrow. Groaning, she tried to move, but found something was weighing her down. Her eyelids felt glued together, she opened them with difficulty.

The whole world was suddenly red and gold. She reached out her hands to push away what was in front of her face…

Hair. It's hair.

Specifically, it could only be Merida's hair. Her eyes shot open wide and she craned her neck to see through the mass of curls. Sure enough, Merida's tousled head was on her shoulder, the rest of her sprawled out across the bed, half on and half off of Elsa.

She mumbled in her sleep as Elsa gently pushed her away to sit up and take stock. They weren't in the chamber they had celebrated in. She realized with a start that they were in Merida's bedchamber. With that revelation, hazy memories trickled back into Elsa's sleep-addled mind.

Kristoff had fallen asleep under the window, and Anna cuddled up next to him, mumbling endearments quietly and giggling. Merida stood up suddenly and made to leave, and Elsa reached out a hand to stop her, even though she was lying on the floor.

"Don't go," she groaned. "Iss dangerous out there."

Merida snorted.

"I'm not afraid of Candlejack," she said with a wave.

"Nooo, now you said his name!" Elsa groaned, and rose shakily to her feet.

She didn't remember escorting Merida back to her chamber, except for snippets where they crashed into walls and laughed, and tried to shush each other even though the castle was empty.

Her vision was clearing properly now, and with a gulp she saw that Merida's bodice had been taken down and her skirt was hiked up over her thighs. One stocking was missing, the other around her ankle. Elsa was similarly rumpled, her skirts and petticoats wrapped tightly around her knees, her collar undone.

"There's too many buttons," Merida grumbled drowsily. "Why are there so many buttons?"

Her fingers fumbled clumsily over her bodice and Elsa openly stared, unable to stop herself.

"Just rip it," Elsa told her. "It's easy."

She dug her fingers into her own collar and popped it open with a satisfying release of pressure. Merida tried, but couldn't seem to find the seam. Elsa laughed.

"Hang on, I'll help you…" she said, staggering over.

Even dimly through the liquor haze, gripping the seams of Merida's bodice in her hands, she knew she was making a mistake. One sharp pull and Merida's pale breasts were right in front of her, barely concealed by a thin shift. Merida laughed softly, and Elsa's eyes traced the movement of her chest. Her mouth watered.

No. No no no!

With a strangled gasp, she threw herself off of the bed and out the door, fled to her chamber, clutching her torn collar as if it would restore her modesty. Her heart hammered so hard it physically hurt.

She felt light-headed and swooned, and Merida may have either tried to catch her or just happened to be placed perfectly to be fallen on. All of a sudden she was in Elsa's arms and it set her skin on fire. It was a heavenly burn, having been so cold for so long.

Feeling the pressure build up at the base of her pelvis with an intensity she had not felt before, Elsa collapsed on her bed. She barely felt her hands tearing her skirt away, reaching past the cloth to the straining flesh beneath. When her fingers found her hollow, they dove in and she muffled her scream with her pillow.

One mouth found the other, and the one below opened to allow invasion. Elsa's tongue plundered greedily; the taste of the liquor doubled over with Merida's scent filled her senses. She felt the swell of Merida's breasts heave against her own, and wanted more. Her hand strayed to Merida's skirt and yanked it up, her fingers dove underneath the thick woollen stocking. She found smooth plumpness there and squeezed hard enough to bruise.

Dimly, she remembered watching Meena touch herself and her thumb sought out that curious little button that brought so much pleasure. Swiping against it, an electric sensation sent shivers through her.

One stocking was torn off and flung across the room, and she pulled at the other, but found it more troublesome. She rose to remove it properly, and only then noticed that Merida was no longer conscious. She was peaceful in slumber, mouth slightly open, completely unaware of how ravaged she looked.

Elsa groaned, and slumped beside her to join her in sleep.

The pressure built as she remembered how that lovely flesh had felt in her hands, how soft and pliant. Savagely she ground the button as hard as she could, and pressed the folds of her hollow until she peaked with a hot rush of fluid. Exhausted, she flopped into the mattress.

As though from very far away, she heard the portcullis creak open to let the staff back in. With a heavy, shaky sigh, she went to her bathroom to run a bath.