Author's Note: Thanks to all of the reviewers! The original was so stupid I was literally in tears as I, well, edited this. It's actually pretty hard to write badly. Tara Gilespie (the 'author' of the original) was a pretty talented troll xD. I actually found a fanfic worse than this. It's called Jo Bekke at Hugwrts which I highly recommend reading. It was taken down, but there's still plenty of commentaries to have a look at :)

AN: stop f,aing ok Gallyy is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no Tomis iant kristian plus gllay isn't really in luv wif magenta dat was MInhoo ok!

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Newt had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Tomis and JOrge and GALLIE were there too. They were going to the Crank Palace after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those shucking pervs hanging out in a Galde wid lots of hot gurlz. Albieey had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Agally came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Magneta I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Shuck off." I told him. "You know I shucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like shucked up Cranks like you." I snapped. Gallly had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Magneta." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Kim Kardashian p-video made from your shower scene and being vued by Tmmoas and George." Who MASTICATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for teresa I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Newt?"

Gally rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Magneta," Albeey said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hally yelled. aLBii lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Gallie stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, aLBY!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so shuck off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." G'oosebummps Brenda said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Tomes and Gorge couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some jobs. Vampire was a slicer. He looked all depressed because Newt had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Newt. He was sucking some blood from a Muney.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Clint had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Newts. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU MEDIOCRE SIMPLETONS!" shouted Minhoo who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire you slinthead!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Newt!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMG! NOOOOO! MY TatOo HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a TAtoo anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Goffik changed it into a tramp stamp for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my tattoo hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Newt….Jison has him bondage!"