Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, or 'The Grinch'.

AN: I know I haven't mentioned Faith's last name at all in this story, but it was the best fit for the song, so just go with it, okay?"


"Uh.."

"Not 'yay'?" Sophie sighed.

"Not really, no.."


Faith looked down from Mt. Lilbit, scowling, as the Scoobs erected the spare tree.

"Ugh, they're relentless!"

Staring down from her cave with a sour Slayer frown,

At the warm lighted window's below in their town,

For she knew every Scoob down in Scoobville beneath,

Was busy now,

Hanging a mistletoe wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings!"

She snarled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is Christmas, it's practically here!"

Then she growled with her dark fingers nervously drumming.

"I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"

Yes, Faith knew tomorrow all the Scoob girls and boys,

Would wake bright and early and rush to their toys.

"And then, oh the noise!" Faith groaned, "Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise! If there's one thing I hate, it's that NOISE, NOISE, NOISE! They'll bang on tong-tinglers, they'll blow their floo-flounders, they'll crash on jang-jinglers and bounce on boing-bounders!"

Then the Scoobs young and old,

Would sit down to a feast.

"And they'd feast, feast, feast, FEAST!" Faith screeched, kicking a pile of snow. "They'll start on Scoob pudding, and rare Scoob roat beast.. It's something that I just can't stand in the least! And then they'll do something I hate most of all." She paused, before continuing in a mocking tone. "Every Scoob down in Scoobville, the tall and the small, will stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'll stand hand in hand, and the Scoobs will start singing! And they'll sing, and they'll sing, and they'll SING, SING, SING, SING!" Faith's eyes suddenly widened in horror. "Look what they've done to me!" She dropped to her knees. "I'm speakin' in rhyme!" She punched the ground. "Damn you, Scoobs! Damn you all!"

And the more that Faith thought of what Christmas would bring,

The more she decided..

"I must stop this whole thing!" The Dark Slayer growled. "For year after year I've put up with it now! I have to stop Christmas from coming.. But how?" Then, realising she had rhymed yet again, quickly corrected herself. "I mean, uh, in what way?"

Faith stood up and marched into her cave... Where she found Echo, jumping around on his back paws dancing to Christmas music. He stopped when he saw his Master's expression, instantly knowing that her visit to Scoobville hadn't gone well.

"Hey, Echo" she greeted coldly. "You havin' a holly jolly Christmas?"


A few seconds later, Echo came flying out of the cave, leaving a dog shaped crater in the deep snow. Another few seconds later, a mildly remorseful Faith came to fish him out. He was all she had, after all.

"Okay, that may have been a little harsh, but I've had a rough day and.." Faith paused. The snow stuck to Echo's muzzle looked kind nof like a beard. She grinned wickedly.

Then she got an idea,

An awful idea.

Faith got a wonderful, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!"

Faith laughed in her throat.

Faith rushed back inside, gathering some red cloth, cotton wool, and an old sewing machine from among her junk pile.

And she made a quick Sandy claws hat and a coat.

Which, it had to be said, was a pretty good effort considering Faith had no idea how to use a sewing machine. The only minor setback came when she sewed her fingers to the material and briefly passed out.

And she chuckled and clucked,

"What a great Slayer trick!" Faith grinned, surveying herself in the mirror as she tried on the outfit. "With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick! Ho, ho, ho!"

You're a mean one,

Miss Lehane

Faith snarled into the mirror.

You really are a heel.

Faith and Echo began gathering materials with which to build a sleigh.

You're as cuddly as a cactus,

And as charming as an eel,

Miss Lehane.

You're a bad banana,

with a greasy black peel!

The Dark Slayer began putting her sleigh together, grinning.

Just face the music,

You're a monster,

Miss Lehane.

Your heart's an empty hole!

Faith turned on a blowtorch to weld some parts together, and accidentally set Echo's tail on fire. The poor dog howled in pain, rushing outside to extinguish the flame in the snow.

Your brain is full of spiders,

You've got garlic in your soul,

Miss Lehane.

Echo, now sporting a bandage on the end of his tail, carried a wrench to his Master.

"No, no, no, I wanted the 3/4 wrench!" Faith snapped. "Jeez, Echo, do you want me to screw this up?"

Echo gave a doggy sigh, taking the wrench back.

I wouldn't touch you,

With a 39 foot pole!

The Sleigh was now complete. Faith was sitting in it dressed like a crash test dummy. She gave Echo a thumbs up.

Echo whined, covering his eyes with his paws.

Faith started the engine, sending the sleigh zooming into a target on the wall, and herself flying into a junk pile.

If you ask the Scoobs of Scoobville,

No-one will deny it..

"Well, the airbags are a little slow" a dishevelled Faith groaned as she dug herself out, "But that's what the'se tests are for!"

You're a vile one,

Miss Lehane.

You've got termites in your smile!

Faith, back in her Santa outfit, grinned into the mirror, revealing that she did in fact have termites stuck in her teeth.

You've got all the tender sweetness,

Of a seasick crocodile.

Faith added some final adjustments to the sleigh, cackling evilly.

If I had to choose between you..

I'd take the seasick crocodile!


Later, Faith looked down on Scoobville through a pair of binoculars, watching as the real Santa Claus delivered his presents.

Echo whined. If they really had to do this, he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

"We can't go yet!" Faith snapped. "We have to wait until Santa's finished. Why's the fat guy taking so long anyway? And while I think of it, how come he never gets any crap for only coming out one night a year. For all we know, he probably lives up North to avoid the IRS."

As they continued to watch, Santa finally finished his deliveries, and took off into the night with his reindeer-drawn sleigh.

"Damn it!" Faith groaned as she realised something. "I forgot the stinkin' reindeer."

The Dark Slayer looked around,

But since reindeer are scarce,

There were none to be found.

But did that stop Faith?

Echo did not like the grin that crossed over his Master's face when she looked at him. He slowly backed away, heading for the cave.

No, she simply said..

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead." She grinned. "Oh, Echo?" she called in an entirely too sweet tone.

Echo winced, then hesitated a few moments before padding back to his Master's side, resigned to his fate. She would have found him eventually anyway.


Back inside the cave, Faith broke the antler of a deer head in the trash pile.

So she called her dog Echo,

Then took some red thread,

And tied a big horn on top of his head.

Echo, wearing the horn, as well as a big red clown nose, felt very stupid.

"Okay, Echo, here's your motivation" said Faith, having temporarily ditched her Santa hat in favor of a Director's cap. "Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose and nobody likes you. Then one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas!"

Echo cocked his head in confusion.

"Yeah, you're right. That whole 'Saving Christmas' ending is too commercial" Faith frowned. "Let's go with 'You hate Christmas so much you want to steal it' instead." She sat in a director's chair, and pulled out a megaphone. "Action!"

Echo swiped his red nose off with a paw, hoping his Master would realise how stupid this whole plan was.

Faith frowned, then grinned.

"Alright! You rejected your nose 'cause it was a symbol of commercialism! Why didn't I think of that before?"

Echo gave an annoyed growl. Faith had missed the point once again.

"Come on, boy, get in the sleigh!" The Dark Slayer called as she jumped in herself.

Echo reluctantly hopped up beside her, before the sleigh zoomed off down the Mountain.

"Those Scoobs won't know what hit 'em!"


"Uh-oh" said Sophie.