AuthorsNote: Im SO sorry this took to damn long. This was a challenging chapter, I knew what had to happen, but I didn't know how to make it happen, if that makes sense?

Anyway, enjoy.

See you at the bottem.

Chapter10

(Renesmee)

I lay, coiled to myself in the warmth of Jakes massive bed, drifting off to sleep, the soothing melody of my lullaby coursing repetitively through my subconscious.

I was exhausted, considering me and Jake spent the day running around Port Angeles, hunting down parts for the car he was building for me.

Obviously, knowing Jacob, he absolutely insisted on building me my first car, I saw it coming before he even asked, without Alice, believe it or not.

The body isn't even framed yet. But, I think it will look first-class by time he's finished with it, they always do.

I personally wouldn't have minded grabbing a used car from an old lot, or getting my dream black Lexus Sedan. But, if Jacob making me my car from scratch made my best friend happy, then it made me happy.

Of course, it was Rose's dream that we would have the same BMW convertibles, hers red, and mine blue.

After a few weeks of fighting, they compromised.

Jake would make me a blue convertible.

I wasn't looking forward to the future automobile brawls I was bound to be involved in. When it came to Jake and Rosalie's love for car mechanics, I knew that whenever my future convertible has the slightest of malfunction, its going be a constant fight to who will get to tend to my vehicles deficiencies.

I pictured the quarrels that would take place in the garage. The low blows they would throw at one another, turning one fight into another, I envisioned Rose rolling her eyes at one of Jakes dumb blonde jokes and my chest heaved.

I missed my family.

It had been almost two days since everybody left for Finland, and I wanted them home desperately. I couldn't help but count down the hours; until I would be in my own bed again, listening to my Dad rock me to sleep with my lullaby, playing smoothly from the piano in the living room. The hours until Jasper and I could sit, laughing hysterically, sending different emotional waves to Carlisle, watching him spin drastically out of character, roaring like a lion one minute, and crying like a lonely housemaid another.

As much as I missed them, I was happy to have been able to spend the time with Jake. It was better that I stayed.

I exhaled, content, and let the music in my head engulf me, drifting me as peaceful as a feather to precious sleep.

***

I crept, gliding the door as fast as I could, wincing with each screech of the battered hinge, terrified of waking her before I had a chance to watch her sleep.

After one final wail, the door stood open enough for me to slip in, knocking over the lamp on my bedside table in the process. Stealth obviously wasn't one of my strong suits.

I watched as the angel dreaming in my bed grumbled and rolled, thankfully into a position making it easier for me to see her face.

Through the darkness, I could only vaguely make out the petite figure tangled in my sheets. Longing to see the steady rise and fall of her breaths, I inched myself over to the window.

I steadily pulled the cord of my flimsy shudders, towing the plastic up the window at a snail's pace, watching her for signs of her rouse. It wasn't seconds later that the moonlight revealed her illuminant beauty.

I couldn't help but feel a bit pathetic every time I would sneak in her room at night to watch her dreams flicker across her eye lids. But it was well worth it, to be able to stare at her for hours at a time without being questioned.

I knelt next to the bed, settling myself as quietly as possible.

Her damp hair ran untamed over the pillow, down her face, moistening my tattered t-shirt she wore.

Her hair engulfed the room with the scent of pomegranate.

I closed my eyes and inhaled as much of the perfume as I could, finding home in its familiarity.

She stirred, and I was back.

I smiled while she pulled her arm under her cheek, creating an awkward open-mouthed pout, causing her breaths to now come out in high-pitched whistles.

I looked the clock on my bedside table; 11:17. I groaned at the realization that I didn't have much time left.

I dreaded having to wake her from the perfect state she was in, but I had to if I wanted everything tonight to go as planned.

Tonight, I would make her mine. My stomach fluttered at the notion.

"Nessie," I whispered with a smile.

No answer.

"Nesssssssssie,"

She turned herself towards the wall.

"Ness, wake up."

"No." She murmured into her pillow.

"Please?" I chuckled.

"No."

"Come on! It's really important."

"No." She grumbled, flipping her pillow to the cool side, one example of her adorable sleeping habits. Along with her whistling, her kicking, the fact she always woke up on the opposite side of the bed, her drooling, and, my personal favorite, her sleep walking.

"Come on Cullen, wake up."

She turned, groggily looking up at me. "You have got to be kidding me right now."

"I am not kidding you right now, get up. Please, for me." I begged.

"Don't pull that 'for me' crap Jacob. Im sleeping."

My brotherly persona then mechanically kicked in.

"Why does waking you up always have to be such a chore! Just get up! Quit being annoying!"

"Don't wake me up and we won't have an issue." She chuckled, closing her eyes.

"Okay, you're laughing, now I know you're awake. Just stand."

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"Why!?" My voice rose, higher than intended.

"Cause now you're yelling,"

"Am not!" I…yelled.

"Stop yelling and ill get up." She sighed.

I took a deep breath, waiting.

"Are you calm?"

"Yes!"

"There, right there, the screaming is so unnecessary." Her voice was composed, laced with sarcasm.

(AN: hahahahh this whole conversation actually happened with me and my boyfriend like 3 days ago. Hahaha. I just had to put it in here.)

I closed my eyes, and spoke, evenly, as requested.

"Ness, please get up. I have something I want to show you."

"Alright Jake, I would be happy to, thanks for being so considerate, waking me in such a peaceful fashion."

She flipped the covers off of her hastily, and stood to look me in the eye.

"What." She spat, not so sarcastically.

My face was lit with a smile, as I held up a blindfold.

"Put it on," I asked.

"No."

I scoffed and turned her around.

"I hate when you act all mysterious, it's so annoying." She huffed, the intoxicating pout of her lip making my heart thump.

"You love it." I chuckled, double knotting the blindfold around her eyes.

With that, I was sprinting, not taking my eyes off of the angel in my arms, as I dodged and ducked in the appropriate places.

It wasn't minutes before I had her sitting right where I wanted.

"Happy Belated Birthday."

I lifted the blindfold, and smiled against her hair as her breathe caught.

***

The lights were so sporadic, stringing from every possible surface around us, surrounding me from every direction; it was difficult to center my eyes on just one thing. All I knew, before I was able to focus, was that I was sitting on top of the house, on top of my house.

The white glow of the luminosity accented the night sky with perfection; beautiful, but still didn't dare surpass the splendor of the stars glistening above them.

The roof top was blanketed with fresh rose petals, contrasting in order, making a magical pattern of red and pink. The candles surrounding the border of the roof made the dew on top of the waterproof petals shine.

The wind was moist and sweet, refreshing with crisp aroma of flowers and freshly cut grass.

A subconscious shiver shot through me at the chill of the summer's breeze. Instantly, a quilt draped over my shoulders.

I glanced back to a smiling Jacob, my face twisted with confusion.

"What is this Jake?" I turned to face him, bringing the quilt with me.

"I felt bad for not doing anything particularly special for you on your birthday." He shrugged, as if what he had just done for me was the equivalent to a Hallmark card. "I knew how much you loved this house. So I had the pack help me with all the lights." He picked up a handful of the roses we rested on.

"The roses were all Leah and Claire. So you can thank them later. I really wished they wouldn't have though, It smells too fancy up here."

I giggled. "I think it complements your fur stench perfectly."

"Good one, real nice."

"Im a nice person." He chuckled, most likely making fun of me.

"This is really amazing, thank you."

"I got you something," he answered, reaching into his pocket. The glow on his face complemented him flawlessly.

"For your birthday,"

My jaw dropped.

No words would describe the perfection of the ring he held up. The diamonds reflected rainbows, bouncing from one of the diamond flowers, to the other. The inscription in the white gold band read: 'forever my constant'.

I looked up at him for some sort of answer; his eyes were wide, plump with adoration. I wish I could have put my finger on why suddenly my stomach fluttered at the sight of the sentiment etched into his features.

"Jake," I began, hesitant, only to be cut off by his warm hand, sliding the ring onto its proper finger.

""I don't want any fights." He said, firm. "I don't want any complaints about the money, or the gesture." He lifted my chin with his hand, trailing a different type of goose bumps down my spine.

"I really, really would love for you to accept this." He netted our fingers, resting my glistening ring finger on top of his.

"Cause I really, really loved getting it for you."

I silently chuckled at the diversity of our skin tones. Mine, ghostly white in the moonlight, and his, obnoxiously tanned.

I kneeled to my knees, untwining our fingers, letting the blanket gather around me.

I hugged him with everything I had, my scrawny arms wrapped around his immense strength.

"Its gorgues. Thank you, again." I whispered into his chest. "But, you already gave me a promise ring."

A snigger quaked through his entire body. I felt it bubbling up through his stomach, and couldn't help but grin.

"I can't believe you actually remember that."

I backed away, brow furrowed. "How could I forget?"

I had fallen in love with the woven promise ring Jake gave me for my first Christmas. I cried for hours when I found out I didn't fit me anymore, a few growths later.

But, I kept it close by at all times, inside the locket Mom gave me for the same Christmas, the ring encircled the picture of me and my parents. I opened the locket to show Jake my memento. His face lit, and predictably, mine followed.

"Your too perfect, dimples."

I shrugged, sitting back down to pull the quilt on again. "That's what they tell me."

We sat, huddled under that quilt for god knew how long, who

cared how long. We laughed about old times. He told me stories about before I was born. We dreamt about times to come, made plans for the future. We tried to dance, but Jakes mammoth clown feet were a massive obstacle.

I realized, under that quilt, beneath the stars, how much I took Jacob for granted. I understood how much I truly needed him. I always knew I needed him, in a sense. But this feeling was different, almost an ultimatum. I lay, engulfed by roses, by candles, surrounded by comfort, by love, because Jacob had taken the time to make it so. And it that moment, never so strongly before, I was petrified to loose him.

The night got colder while we reminisced.

It was freezing outside. The only thing keeping me warm was the industrial strength heater, lying sprawled next to me. I could feel the numb red of the tip of my nose, the cold blush of my cheeks. I cuddled closer to his warmth, starring up at the stars.

From every perimeter, the lights suddenly shut off, and I shot up on my elbows, starring at Jake, confused, through the light of only the candles around us now.

He chuckled, im assuming at the overdramatic crease of inquiry between my eyebrows.

"It's okay. That was supposed to happen." He said, his hand reaching to pull the hood up of the sweater I was wearing.

"It's almost time!" He took my hands and rubbed them between his, the friction was defiantly helpful.

"I assume in some cliché attempt to be spontaneous your not actually going to tell me what 'it's almost time' for. Correct?"

"Bet your bottom dollar."

My answering smile was subliminal; Jacob and his irresistible charm.

I lightly dozed, waiting for whatever it was almost time for, still somewhat conscious. The drowsiness was enjoyable, allowing me to take in the light sounds and delicious smells of my rooftop. Jake mumbled lightly a story about my mom's pregnancy, my birth, and the first few days of my life.

I rolled my eyes, smiling internally at the bundle of lies.

My whole family had lied to me about my birth since I was a baby. They told me that it was a smooth pregnancy, and an even smoother birth. They told me that I was a perfect baby, despite my growing habits.

Little did they know, I actually recalled everything about my birth. I remember every second of being inside my mom's womb, as disgusting as that might sound. I regret every broken rib, every vicious kick, every gruesome feeding. I dread the memory of ripping my mother from the inside out, thirsting for blood. Im ashamed everyday of the monster I was, of how close I came to killing the person who loved me most in the world, the woman who fought for me with her life when nobody else gave me a second thought.

My family lied to me for that exact reason, so that I wouldn't have to feel an ounce of regret for what I once was.

I loved them even more for that.

Of course, Dad knew. Dad was the only person that could console my tears over the indignity I felt. For countless nights he was the only one that held me while I bawled in the middle of the woods, away from everybody else. But we both chose to keep it a secret from the family.

Daddy and I knew shame; we knew it better than anybody else.

Jakes kissed my forehead, hacking my train of thought.

"Nessie, open your eyes."

The black of my eye lids parted to absolute magic. I twisted to Jake within the quilt, awed.

"I can't believe-" I began, enthralled.

"Shhhhhhh." He wrapped me within the circle of his arms, angling me so that it was easier to look up the supernatural illumination floating above us.

The Aurora Borealis; The Northern Lights.

Its radiance swayed in waves, smooth, endless, flawless. Its silken, glossed current lit everything in its path, highlighting around us a paranormal turquoise glow. I was absolutely transfixed as I watched the blue tint of the lights fade to violet, then to green.

This was something I had always wanted to see. I remember the phase I went through with the Northern Lights a few years ago, doing endless research on them, looking through heaps of pictures. They fascinated me. How couldn't they? Something that stunning was bound to be fascinating.

The nighttime rainbow above me twisted and curved with the winds inhibitions, my resolve flowing along with its poise. The silhouette grew, its stream spanning as far as I could see, coloring the atmosphere. I could never have even imagined that something could be that beautiful, that magical. The emerald faded to yellow, all the worlds transgression sinking below the soil.

I heard Jake suggestively clear his throat and I turned to face him. The lights above us imitated the gleam of his auburn stare. I just smiled, to thankful for words, waiting for what he had to say. The set of his jaw was serious, the crease in his forehead solemn. When he didn't talk, I broke the silence.

"Just when I think you couldn't make me any happier," I giggled, glancing back up to the now orange lights. "You go and do something like this." I leaned over to plant a kiss on his cheek. "How many times am I gonna have to thank you tonight?"

He was uneasy, I could sense it. He was pulling apart rose petals in his lap, unable to look me straight in the eye.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a little frustrated at him for ruining the moment.

His eyes were nervous. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay." I answered, calm.

"No," he heaved, frustrated. "I need to really tell you something. I need you to not interfere, for the next twenty minutes while I explain." He got up, standing in front of me. "I need you to stay open-minded. I need you to let me explain."

"Okay…?" I was confused, but still trying to stay calm. He sat on his knees, taking my hands.

"I need you to understand." The importance in his tone made me uncomfortable.

"I will."

"You might not."

"Ill try." And I would. I couldn't imagine anything that Jake could say to me that I wouldn't be okay with.

He took a deep breath.

"I love you." He spat.

I looked around; taking in the hours of preparation he must have went through to make my belated birthday special for me. I made him look at his handy work, noticing how his eyes followed where mine led. I escorted his eyes up to the sky, to the pink lights that he clearly planned the whole night around me seeing.

"Obviously," I chuckled. "I love you too."

He shook his head, ripping his hands from mine and dragging them through his hair. I was starting to grow anxious.

"Just listen to me for a second." His eyes scrunched together, making his nose wrinkle.

"Im in love with you," He breathed, finally opening his eyes to see my neck craned back, misunderstanding warped into my face.

"It would be helpful for you to explain the difference." I whispered, my voice quivering a bit. Though I knew what was about to happen.

He took another deep breath, looking me in the eyes.

"I don't know how to say this, but im going to anyways, so just don't talk for a second, okay?"

I nodded, trying to decipher the lock of his jaw. He was about to ruin everything we had, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

He took my hands again, meshing them onto his lap. I wanted him to stop. Despite what he was about to say, I couldn't stand for anything to change. I wouldn't risk our friendship, it was too important.

"Ness, I have loved you, every second, of every hour, since the day you were born. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, your happiness was essential to my own, and that will never change. So, I want you to know that I wouldn't even be suggesting this unless I was completely sure that it would make you happy, that I could make you happy. All I want if for you to be happy, know that." He huffed, and then continued, making my worst fears come true.

"I want to be with you Ness. I've never wanted anything more in my entire life. You're everything." I held my tongue, foolishly, letting him keep going.

"Your safe with me, in every way conceivable, and I need you to know that now." He shrugged. "You deserve to know that now."

"I want you to let me give you everything I possibly can, in everyway I can. I want you to be able to have all of me, because that's what I want from you. If you'll have me."

I couldn't do anything but stare. His face was strained with apprehension, I could tell that it was taking every ounce of control he had to stay still, considering how visibly nervous he was.

"So…You…Uhm…Like, im you're…I mean you…imprin-"

He cut me off, before my stammer could embarrass me even more.

"Yeah."

The soothing warmth of Jakes fingers suddenly grew clammy. I held my hands to my stomach; which suddenly starting to do back flips.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You only had a few years to be a kid. I didn't want to put any pressure on you for the future. I wanted you to be able to have crushes, and go to dances, have a normal childhood. Not feel obligated to a betrothed." He paused, playing with the rose petals again. This was a new, bashful Jacob. I had never seen him this uncomfortable.

"I hate that im selfish enough to tell you now. I just don't want to wait any more than I have too." His head shot up at that comment, frantic.

"Not that I want you to feel obligated at all to this. This is just me trying to be honest. Im not trying to put any pressure on you, I swear." I had never seen his eyes so shy, his cheeks so crimson. The nervous hammer of his heart was clear, its thump matching the hot pulse behind my ears.

"It's just, your kinda, it, for me."

I starred up at the purple haze of the fading lights in the sky, concentrating on its sleek flow, attempting to let the tranquility of its movement calm my rampant thoughts.

I was frustrated at myself for not seeing it coming all along. The signs were all there, practically barking the truth to me through neon figurines.

Of course, growing up, I had entertained the idea of me and Jake together. I had a massive crush on him for the majority of my childhood, but now, it just seemed so irresponsible, immoral almost to risk our friendship for something more. I had to think realistically. Jake and I couldn't be anything more than friends. When physical chemistry starts to mix in with emotions, things always end negatively. Our differences would eventually tear us apart and I honestly would rather die than see that happen.

I was gnawing my lip to a pulp, aware of Jake closely watching my every move. I wanted to look up, to see what expression was pulling at his face now, but was too scared of what I would see. Instead, I kept my eyes on the lights, grateful for their consoling influence.

The other, less disciplined part of my mind was having opposite thoughts. How could I be reluctant to that kind of relationship with Jake? I trusted him with everything I had. From the tips of my toes, to the marrow in my bones, I knew that he would never hurt me. I couldn't image a person I could connect better with. And honestly, it's not like there was anybody else I preferred to him. Jake has always been the major predominate male figure in my life, besides my dad and uncles. Since I could remember he's always been there for me in everyway I knew; besides romantically, of course.

But then again, I had never really experienced a romantic relationship before, but if I were to have that type of connection with anybody, why not Jake?

He was absolutely gorgeous, more attractive than any male models I had ever seen. He was playful and hilarious; he made me laugh harder than anybody else. He was strong and focused, always knowing what he wants and how to get it. I really admired that about him. He was smart, he knew people, he knew the world, and he made the best out of it.

But on top of everything, he was so sweet and sensitive. He treated me like a princess. He always really made an effort to understand me, and help me with whatever I needed.

How could I have the nerve to be in love with anybody else, when perfect Jake was ready and waiting with open arms?

I finally got the nerves to look at him, and of course, he was starring me down with desperate eyes. I knew how hard this must have been for him, and I so wished that I could drain all the doubt from his mind.

I tried to smirk, but couldn't. My face was frozen with hesitation.

I slowly rose to my knees ,and closer to Jacob.

I draped my arms over his neck, before pressing my forehead against his.

His breath was coming through in nervous gasps, mine matching. The heat was calming, my skin tingling against his. He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tighter against himself. This embrace was different than all the others, laced with a different type of emotion.

I knew I needed to try for Jacob, despite my uncertainty. He deserved it.

Our eyes bore into one another's, unsure of what to do next. I was just about to pull away, when I felt Jakes scorching lips against mine.

I couldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it.

The kiss was fast and chaste, but it was enough for all of my reasoning to drain from my mind. All I understood after Jake kissed me, was that it felt utterly, and entirely wrong.

Jacob could never be anything more than a friend to me, and I hated it. How could I be in love with my brother? How could I kiss my family? I didn't see him that way, and that was that.

I spilled out of his arms, falling back into my quilt, tears now streaming uncontrollably. I buried my scarlet face in my hands, to ashamed to have Jacob see his own rejection pouring out my eyes.

"Jake…Im so sorry." I bawled, barley able to formulate coherent words through my sobs. "Im so fucking… sorry," I covered my head with the quilt, ashamed. "I cant, I just…I don't know why…its too late for that…its not supposed to be like this…Im so sorry…I wish…I wish I could." I took a few deep breaths, trying to stop the wails shaking through my chest. I looked back up to him, after regaining a little bit of composure, and my heart absolutely broke in half.

A slight quiver against his jaw was the only movement on his stone face. His eyes were zoned out, silent tears streaming from them, cascading wet trails down his cheeks, over frozen lips. He closed his eyes before speaking, obviously trying to remain in control. I would have given anything to have taken the pain away from him, but I also knew that I couldn't.

"Its alright. I shouldn't have said anything." His voice shook, the ache he hid beneath it could have knocked the earth off its axis.

"Please, please don't be mad at me. I couldn't stand to have you mad at me." I sat back up.

He exhaled, sarcastic, fiercely wiping away his tears, embarrassed. "Like I could be mad at you,"

"I love you Jacob. I love you so much."

"I love you more."

I kneeled back on my knees, going to give Jake a hug, when I was stopped by the last thing I would have expected.

Growth.

The universe and everything connected with it faded around me, washing out into invisible pixels of white.

Before I even realized it was happening, all I knew was pain. It bombarded every nerve in my body with strength, pulling apart every cell, expanding every molecule.

I felt my bones grow longer inside of me, growing wider with each passing second, pushing against my muscles, that hadn't yet caught up to their development, but they soon followed, inflaming my innards until everything inside of me was swollen.

I wailed while my skin expanded around my vastly maturing entrails, frantically broadening to hold everything inside of me.

The only thing outside of the pain was my blood-curling screams; they were uncontainable, shooting absently-mindedly from my tense lips, increasing in volume whenever another part of me stretched to its limit.

I vomited from the pain of my hair being pull from my scalp; my nails getting yanked from their cuticles, blood surrounding their new outline.

The fire tormenting my veins was unbearable; the screeching coming from my elastic vocal cords was earth-shattering, the only way I knew how to cope with the stretch of my legs, the throb in my eardrums.

My world went black, as unconsciousness finally, thankfully, claimed me.

AuthorsNote: Just so you know, I hated having to make Jake cry 

Im already started on the next chapter, so hopefully I will have it out soon.

REVEEEIW!