Okay, this chapter is just going to start and take off, so go along with it. ;p
Oh and, we see more of Katara's usual 'fighting spirit' in this chapter. You could say she's slowly breaking out of her shell.
Warning: Zuko out of character, and I'm saying it now people!
paperbackwriter9
Disclaimer: Don't own ATLA.
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I trust him, I trust him. I trust him right?
I paced back and forth many times without stopping. The position I was putting myself into was very different from anything I would ever do. Ever.
It scared me so much because I was changing more and more, and I was afraid I would loss myself entirely. Zuko told me that tonight we would, 'act.,' and pray it would work for us.
What made me feel even more confused was that I checked the bathroom mirror to see how I looked, twice. The thought of Zuko over me made my insides churn. Of course these emotions were strange to me but it felt nice to have feelings that made me feel good.
But Zuko?
Sure he was handsome, very handsome...I had to stop thinking about this! I went to the bathroom and splashed my face with ice cold water. The large mirror that hung in the bathroom was calling me to look at it again.
Why would a Fire Nation Prince look at me? That's what I told myself over and over, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. So once more, I looked up into the mirror and this time I saw another face. Zuko was staring at me with a hard expression and I let out a small muffled scream.
He had startled me mainly because I had just been thinking about him. Zuko's face softened slightly, and my hand gripped onto the edge of the sink.
"We have to- um- ," Zuko was struggling to say what we had to do, and I didn't blame him.
"I know, that plan?" I said and he nodded and I stared at him through the mirror.
Please don't hurt me.
Part of me was still unsure about this, but I knew that he knew what was best. Zuko, after all, knew what was going on in his own home. He said he knew people and trusted them and if Zuko gave out his trust to someone, I was pretty sure he meant it.
We looked at each other through the mirror, and then he broke the gaze by looking down. "Are you alright Katara?"
My body felt distant and my stomach fluttered, but I nodded yes anyway. Zuko turned around and left the room which meant that I had to follow. So I followed him out and into my room, were he was waiting. My heart beats matched my steps and I tried to delay going in there as long as I could. My palms were sweating and I felt so uncomfortable that I wanted to run back into the bathroom.
Zuko was closing the door and left it slightly cracked open. "Look, we have to make it look real okay?" He told me and turned so he was facing me. I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands. His feet were in my view when I looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry that-" There was a knock outside the chamber.
I quickly looked up at Zuko and my heart beat fast. Here we go. This was for real and I couldn't say no now.
Just get it over with Katara. Then it's done and your okay.
Zuko mouthed the words, don't worry, and he sat on the bed too. Then he mouthed the word convincing and I nodded my head. Zuko motioned me to lay down on the bed quickly and I followed orders.
The person who knocked on the door knocked again, and louder this time. I swear I could hear the door creak open, or maybe not. What was seconds felt like minutes to me now. Zuko climbed over so he was on top of me.
No, no!
My mind screamed at me, but my body was reacting to him.
Lord Ozai's face entered my mind as I looked up at Zuko. My choices were going to be death or rape, or acting now and surviving.
Zuko looked down at me and I could tell he was uncomfortable with it all. "The closer we are, with your robe over me, it will be convincing," I whispered because I wasn't sure if the spy was in the room.
"That's not enough," he whispered back.
I bit my lip and thought of what we could do. At the same time, it was embarrassing to be talking about this with Zuko. "I could-" I started but the door swung open and made a cracking sound when it came into contact with the wall.
Zuko's hands became extremely hot and his hand was resting on my arm. I screamed out at the burning sensation and whoever it was, quickly left the room and slammed the door.
"Katara," he said slightly above a whisper, "you did it, that was sure not a woman, but I think they thought exactly what we wanted him to. I was focusing on the pain shooting through my arm at that moment. I tried to push Zuko off with my other arm and he got off me fast.
"Why did you do that? You burned me on purpose didn't you? You did it so I would scream, and it would sound like we were really..." I stopped because I didn't want to say it, and I was mad.
Zuko looked at me and shook his head, "I did? I didn't mean to, my reflexes just reacted when the door slammed open," he wore a apologetic expression and I wanted to hit it off his face.
"Well, thanks to you my arm hurts," I walked up to him and I was very close, so I hoped he would listen to me. "Was that even the spy?"
"Yes, I think," he stared down at me.
"You think? You told me it was going to be a woman, but you said it was a man? Was this whole thing a trick so you could be on top of me? In the bed?" I just exploded, then and there, everything came out and it felt good to yell at someone, not myself. I could stand up for myself, and I wasn't going to back down from anything anymore.
"Katara, what's wrong with you?" Zuko looked at me with a worried face and he came closer.
"No, I'm tired of following people's orders. Next time you plan something, leave me out." I walked out of the room and went to the window. The Fire Nation lay far out and I could see the sun slowly setting far away.
I was tightly holding my arm, and the pain was slowly going away.
Soon, soon I'll find a way out of here, and I'll be out there.
"Let me see that," Zuko said from behind me, and he grabbed the hand that was on my arm. He pulled it away and held out my arm. There was burned material and red skin underneath. So it wasn't that bad of a burn, in fact, it could be gone. But I had been angry at Zuko and I was to stubborn to admit that I had just gone slightly insane.
Zuko rolled up the sleeve and looked at my skin. "Well, your going to live," he said and the corners of his mouth rose into a smile, almost. It just made me more embarrassed for freaking out at him. He left and came back with some kind of liquid. "This will help," he said and applied a thin layer. After that, we both sat down in silence, and looked away from one another.
--
It was around midday when Zuko came back into the room. I was sitting on a over sized chair, and Zuko was sitting at his desk. We hadn't said one word since yesterday when he had treated my arm. I wanted to talk to him because I needed to know one important thing.
"What happens next?" I said breaking the silence.
"My father will hear the news, and then forget you for awhile. When he remembers, he might think it's time for someone new, someone more Fire Nation like. Knowing my father, I don't think he'll just let you go, but I don't honestly know." My future sounded bleak and I held back tears. In the end, everything I had gone through, would be for nothing?
"Have you been thinking about this before?" I asked him and he yawned.
"Yeah," he said and I nodded slowly. "Sometimes I wish my father wasn't here, wasn't alive. It's wrong, I know, but he isn't even a father to me."
"At least your childhood was glamorous, living in a palace? I lived in a house made of ice, or sometimes a tent," I smiled to myself- such good memories.
"It wasn't really, I regret some stuff," he said and rubbed the back of his neck.
"My childhood wasn't easy either," I said.
"Your still young," he said and I half smiled.
"I think I've grown up since I've got here," but it wasn't funny this time.
"Katara, I want to, I want to tell you that everything is going to be okay. I know that the Fire Nation isn't exactly welcoming you," Zuko turned to me and I swallowed, and felt my cheeks grow warm.
Zuko looked down at his feet and sighed, "Katara, I have to find a way for you to escape before my father decides what comes next. I doubt he cares, but just in case," Zuko said and I nodded my head and closed my eyes. I didn't want my life to end in my enemies home, I wanted to go home.
"Zuko, it's nice of you to care, I feel better when you do, but I'll be okay," I said trying to be strong.
"Katara, I can't take this, I can't let my father hurt you, I..." I was waiting for him to say it, to tell me that he liked me and wanted me. But nothing came out.
"You what?"
"I just can't let my father take everything away from me because he can, not again," he said and I was crushed, I thought he was really going to say those actual words.
"Zuko, what else is wrong?" I asked and he sighed again.
"My father has never helped me, and made me regret everything that happened. I don't want to regret what would happen to you, if something ever should."
"What is it? What do you regret?" I asked curious and surprised that Zuko was opening up. It took a long time to actually hear him say something that was the cause for his cold mood. I hope that he was telling me something that was what seemed to be the cause for his painful life.
"When I was little I had a sister, Azula, and we played all the time. My father liked her more so I convinced her to teach me things that made our father proud of her. Things like, how to make people do what you want, things only Azula could do. Then something happened, and she was gone. I didn't know if she left, or...something happened. I knew my father was behind what ever happened that day, because the last time I saw her she told me he asked to talk to her. I was her brother, I was suppose to protect her, and keep her safe."
Zuko shifted around next to me and I felt utterly upset for him. Did his own father send his sister away? Or have her killed? Why?
"Zuko, your own father wouldn't do anything, and you said he did like her," I asked him and his eyebrows raised.
"You have no idea," he whispered. "Katara, ever since I was little, I have wanted to leave this place. I have wanted to get out and stay out."
I looked up at him and he had his eyes closed, "Zuko, your a prince, when your father dies you will be the next one to rule. You can't just leave," I told him.
"I know, but I don't want you to leave, I want to protect you but I can't let you go," he said slowly and I stared at his closed eyes.
"Zuko, I-" what could I say to that? I didn't know with him, did he like me or not? I didn't want to think about this, or anything that had happened this today. "I have to go get some rest, I'm tired."
"Katara?" He asked and stood up with me.
"Zuko please-" he stood came close and put his hand on my cheek.
"Please be patient with me. I know you want to leave, and I'll try my best to help you, but I need time," and just like that, he was gone.
I slowly walked back into my room and lay my head on the pillow. What had just happened? He told me he didn't want me to leave, but then he said he would help me. I didn't know what to think, except that I was going to get some rest. At least when I was sleeping, I didn't have to think about any of this.
--
I woke up and there were fresh cloths on the foot off my bed. I guess Yumi had come in and didn't wake me up for once. Maybe she knew what happened. Okay, I was thinking to much about one thing again, and when I looked up there was a bowl of food on the table. It must have just been brought because there was steam rising from it. I turned over on my other side and closed my eyes again, I wasn't hungry just yet.
There was a pounding on the door and I rolled over. I didn't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. "Katara, get up! You have to be ready for something," it was Yumi's voice.
"Come in," I said and the door opened.
"Katara, you must get dressed, it's almost time for the next meal," she walked around and pulled the covers off. "This is no way for the Prince's concubine to act, this is not wise!"
I hated that word, "I'm not his," I whined and she put her hands on her hips.
"Your lucky that he can't hear you, now get dressed!" She threw my clothes at me and I sighed, I liked just laying there.
"What is the big rush anyway?"
"Someone is coming to visit the Prince very shortly." She folded the sheets and piled up my dirty clothes.
"In his chambers?" I asked and she laughed.
"Yes, and I think your going to be having some competition. You better not fall out with the Prince, because you might not be in this room very soon," and she left.
I turned around with my eyes wide, a new concubine?
--
"My name is Chio your Royal Highness," the girl said and bowed for Zuko. I stood in his room and held back my anger and jealousy.
The girl was very pretty, light skin, dark eyes, waist length black hair, and a innocent aura around her. I kept looking at Zuko out of the corner of my eye, to see what his reaction was. But as usual, his face held a cold stare. Who sent her? I kept everything to myself because I knew when I shouldn't talk.
"Who sent you?" Zuko asked, and I hoped my question was going to be answered.
"Lord Ozai, your highness, he sent me here," she bowed her head and Zuko looked down with his usual cold stare.
"I have no need for another concubine, I am already satisfied," he spoke loud and clear and the girl bowed lower.
"Your highness," and she looked up waiting for Zuko to allow her to speak. Zuko nodded his head and she looked down at the floor. "Your highness, I was ordered to come here. If I went back home, my family would not accept me." Chio waited for her response to sink in and she stayed in her position.
"Fine," Zuko said and I felt upset at his decision, "but you can't stay here. You can stay in the original room for concubines, but not mine." She nodded her head and bowed once more, "Thank you your highness, "and she left with Yumi who had been waiting outside.
Zuko walked over to me wearing that hard expression. Without looking at me he spoke, "Katara, my father hasn't forgotten anything, I don't think."
"Zuko, she is much more suited for you. She is from the Fire Nation, and she obviously what your father wanted for you-"
"Katara!"
"Are you sure he didn't rape her?"
There was silence and I bowed to Zuko the way she had done. "I am going to go to my room your highness, remember that I'm always here when your bored," I said mockingly, and Zuko became mad. I walked into my room and slammed the door.
In the past days, it seemed like Zuko was telling me that he really truly liked me. Now, he just let that girl be his concubine because she had a upsetting past! Well so did I! I sat on my bed and decided that I had to cool down, it wouldn't help me with a mad Prince after me.
My door opened and I saw Zuko, of course. "I could have you killed for talking to me like that."
"Good, then I'll finally be rid of this place," I said and instantly wished I didn't say that.
"Is this what you were like before you came here? Stubborn and always accusing people of something?"
"Exactly, I had a life before this place took it away," I said. Zuko sighed and I did too, we both knew we were never going to get anywhere if we yelled at each other. "I just want to go home, please Zuko," I said softly.
"Katara, I know a way to get you out," I jumped up and walked right up to him.
"How long have you known a way out?" I poked my finger into his shoulder.
"Just recently, but you do want to go right?"
I looked at him as if he was joking around, "Of course I want to go!" Zuko's expression held something that I had never seen before, and it made me feel upset. We both sat down on my bed and Zuko slowly told me how I could escape. He remembered secret passages from when he went exploring when he was little. One lead into a garden, and then into another one into the outside.
"How come you never said anything before?" I yelled at him, because I could have been gone long ago.
"I wasn't thinking about them, and they could be dangerous. They haven't been used for a long time, and they could be sealed too." I felt crushed as I saw my chances to be free fall apart.
I felt my eyes fill and I didn't want him to see. "Please, I want to go back to my family," hoping that they were still alive.
"I was going to go check them after I ate, and then I could see if it was possible to escape unnoticed." Zuko stood up and walked to the door.
"What will your father say when I'm gone?"
"Let's first see if I can get you out," and he closed the door behind him.
--
It was so hard waiting for him to come back. I wished over and over that the tunnels were going to be safe enough to use, and that they weren't sealed up. I was going to be able to find a boat, and go home! I guess I was going to have to ask Zuko for the money, and to take the clothes with me. If I was going to get out of here, I was going to miss him. I really truly liked Zuko, but I couldn't let that stop me from going home.
We weren't meant to be anyway, a Water Tribe girl to a Prince. It was growing late outside and I collapsed on my bed.
"Katara?"
I opened my eyes and saw Zuko in front of me, finally back from the tunnels, "Zuko! What time is it?"
"Late," he paused, "but the tunnels are safe enough to travel through."
"Good," I whispered and he stared at the wall behind me.
"You can leave soon- tomorrow night. But I have to come with you because to get into the tunnel on the other side of the garden wall is tricky. The guards might catch you and myself if we are not careful." He shifted on his two feet and then walked over and sat on the bed. "I'll miss you," he said and looked me right in the eyes.
"I'll miss you too," I said and we both inched closer. When his face was right in front of mine, I pulled back only to have him lean forward and kiss me. It felt like it did the first time I had kissed him, long ago. "Zuko, it will make it harder on both of us we can't."
"Katara, I tried to tell you that I care about you, and like you for such a long time now. It's just that this kind of thing isn't really that easy for me."
I interlaced my fingers through his and smiled a sad smile. "Zuko, we should just enjoy the time left then I guess."
"I should have said something before-"
"It's okay, because you have Chio when I'm gone and I know you will probably smile around someone like her," it pained me to say it, but I did anyway.
"Why do you think that?"
"Because she is from the-"
"Katara, stop. Your right, let's just enjoy the time we have left." I nodded and he leaned down and kissed me again. Just being here with his arms around me in a comforting way, made everything seem like it wasn't real. After being in the Fire Nation for such a long time, dealing with things a girl of sixteen should never deal with, it felt good to have someone who cared for me right next to me.
I only wish that time could stand still. There was already a strange aching in the pit of my stomach, and something that made me want to stay here. But I know I couldn't, I had to go home and tell everyone I was alright.
--
After a long time just sitting in silence in each others presence, kissing now and then, playing with each others hair, Zuko fell asleep. I was tired as well, but I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't want to wake up and then have to leave his warm body. Even though he would be helping me escape, it wouldn't be the same.
I stared down at the Prince's face and saw only one thing. He was just a boy. His father made him tough, but it also made him hide. It took him so long to tell me that he cared about me, because he never had anyone show him that they cared about him.
This brought up something else that I didn't want to think about. He might not really like me, but just wanted the idea of someone who cares for him. I felt sad at the thought of this, but somehow Zuko didn't seem like he would just kiss anyone.
Our lives would go on, Zuko as a Prince, and mine as a Water Tribe woman. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take over me.
I would be sleeping in this bed, in the Fire Nation, for the last time.
--
And that's the end! Applaud!
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No of course that is not the ending! I would be ticked off if someone ended it like that! Okay, I suck at updating and I know it, but this time I actually have written down the rest of the chapters, and I just have to type them and post them.
I swear I will try to finish this story up soon, but...I'll try! xD
