You guys cannot possibly imagine how sorry I am for not updating sooner , but I had a lot of things going on here . I am extremely sorry .
And this chapter will let you know what Rose is actually thinking . I will not waste anymore of your time . Enjoy . Keep Reading . :D :D . .
Rose's POV . .
" Hey , watch where you are going ." I heard someone shout as I bumped into something hard .
" Sorry ." I muttered without slowing my pace down . My mind was a blur in its true sense . I could barely focus on what was happening around me , the people walking by , the buzz of chatter that filled the air … I couldn't even focus on where my legs were taking me . There was only one thing my mind could process , and it was the man who had once practically been the centre of my world , it was Dimitri Belikov .
But right now , I could feel my legs taking me somewhere within Court . I looked around and recognised it to be the Court Gardens . I felt myself walking over to the nearest bench available and seating myself . As soon as my body had settled into the seat , my thoughts flew back to a certain Russian once again …..
Dimitri may not have been at the very centre of my life for the past few weeks , but he was definitely a major part of it . And what had happened earlier tonight had most certainly moved him towards the centre of my universe , considering that the kiss was all I could think about right now .
His lips had felt so wonderful when they had pressed up against mine . His intoxicating breath lingering in the air , his finger tips lightly travelling up and down my spine sending chills down my body . And it was not within my capability to ignore the electricity , the heat that intensified between us every time we touched . It had been such a long time since Dimitri and I had been together like this , a long time for my heart to ache for a kiss that held that kind of passion . But there was something else that had flared in me during that kiss too . An emotion , I had tried to bury in order to get on with my life , an emotion that drew me invariably towards my former love , Dimitri .
But then why was I sitting here and regretting it ? Why did I long for his touch at the same time when the guilt was eating away at me ?
What was I supposed to do now ? No one could even fathom how hard I had tried to bury my feelings for Dimitri . It had been so hard to be pushed away by the one whom you had done so much for . Yet , I had respected his wishes and left him alone .
And I could never have done it without Adrian by my side . He had helped me move on with my life while accepting the fact that I may never be able to love him as much as I loved Dimitri . He had told me how much he loved me innumerable times , and even though the sincerity of his words shone through his eyes , I had found myself being reluctant in admitting the fact that he did love me .
But earlier this evening , when Dimitri had said that Adrian genuinely loved me , a part of me rejoiced while a part of me blamed myself for not doing justice towards him . And that feeling multiplied a hundred times over when I saw the look on Dimitri's face . I had never seen him this … broken . He had always been so strong, so confident , and even in his weak moments he had never seemed so miserable . He had looked down when he had said those words but not before I had caught a glimpse of his eyes , and the emotions swirling in them . And once again , my world had been torn apart by the only two men in it .
While Dimitri was the one I had wanted to be with , Adrian had been so sweet and caring , and finally deciding to give him a chance had not turned out to be as bad as I thought it would have . I guess , I had never noticed what lay underneath his playboy exterior because I was so infatuated with my mentor .
And as for Dimitri . One doesn't go to such great lengths to bring someone back if they didn't love them , do they ? At one point of time , he was all I had wanted . To be with him and guard Lissa , was what I had pictured as the unattainable dream . But even though I tried to convince myself , over and over again , that things had changed since my time at the Academy , I couldn't help but wonder whether they really had . Had I really " moved on" with my life , or was I still stuck at the end of the same divergent road ?
I could feel the cool breeze brush against my skin , while I mulled over the happenings in my life . The garden really was beautiful with the numerous statues and trees adorning it . I don't know how long I had been there , but I was broken out of my reverie when I felt someone come and sit next to me .
My body relaxed upon seeing the person as quickly as it had tensed up when I had felt him sit next to me . I looked into those green eyes of his and saw the concern they held for me . I felt Adrian wrap his arms around my shoulder and pull me to his body , with me obliging all too eagerly . I rested my baffled head on his shoulder and let out a soft sigh into the cool atmosphere that surrounded us .
What was I supposed to do now ? I loved them both for who they were . They were poles apart from each other but maybe that was why I had fallen for them . I had accepted being with Adrian . But now with Dimitri claiming that he still loved me , I was left to decide something that I never thought I would have to . Back at the Academy , I would never have guessed that I would be in a dilemma for choosing between Dimitri and Adrian because at that time , Dimitri would have been the only answer . But now …..
I could feel Adrian's soft breathing and looked up at his face . He smiled down at me but I couldn't help but notice the sadness that was etched on his face , the sadness he was trying desperately to hide through a display of bravado . And at that moment I knew , that he understood exactly what I was feeling .
With that , I felt guilt overcome me once again , and I found myself nestling closer to Adrian with my head back on his shoulder . I fixed my gaze at a statue of some long – forgotten moroi monarch while my head was preparing itself for blowing up . Even though my mind was invariably replaying the kiss with Dimitri , I couldn't help but notice the comfort that hung around me along with Adrian as we sat there on that bench in one of the Court Gardens .
Did you like it ? Please do not forget to review .
Once again , I am extremely sorry for not updating sooner .
Please review . Until next time . Keep Reading . :D :D . .
