He watched their surroundings blur, seeing the colors smear together till they formed a messy stain of gray. It obscured everything from the eyes, but it did not last. A mere blinking of his eyes, and it was as though the gray curtain lifted, fuzzy objects coming into focus, revealing his bedroom. Bits of ether could be seen twinkling to the sides of his vision, Rufus knowing he could go cross eyed and still not be able to focus on the divine energy properly.
Not that he was making any attempt to look at anything but the girl in his arms. Alicia...or Alana as she preferred to be called, stood next to him, her hands gripping onto his arm for support. Her eyes were closed, lips flattened into a thin line as she waited for him to tell her that the teleportation was over and done with. But he hesitated, just taking in the sight of her golden haired beauty.
He peered closer at her, noticing a hint of pink caught in the blonde strands. His free arm raised, hand moving towards her hair. His fingers stroked through her mane, plucking the pink cherry blossom free of her hair. Alicia's eyes snapped open at his touch, and he could see the nervousness in her baby blue eyes. "You didn't get them all." He told her, showing her the blossom on his fingertip.
It was apparently not a good enough reason to touch her, Alicia stepping away from him. It made him want to sigh, something he did a lot of around her, be it the wistful sounds of longing, or agitated exhalations. There was another reason to sigh, and he realized with a start he was tired. Not just mentally, but physically. An honest to goodness weariness about his soul. It was unnatural, he shouldn't be feeling this way, not since becoming a God, and yet...something about dealing with Alicia's stubborn insistence at clinging to her Alana existence made him weary.
Either she wasn't paying attention to him enough to notice, or he hid it well, Rufus smiling at her. He forced back the tiredness, glancing around the room. Someone, Esme most likely had been here, cleaning up the mess on the table and putting away Alicia's blue dress.
Alicia turned away from him, hands shaking out her skirt, making sure no stray blossoms clung to the satin material. She was still being so quiet, almost subdued since their picnic had ended so disastrously. It was bad, Rufus drawing a blank as he tried to think on what to say to her. He didn't want to start another disagreement, and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable with his heartfelt proclamations.
"So..." He said, drawing her attention back to him. His mind spun in dizzy circles, reaching for a conversation topic. He found one, blurting out a question. "What do you like to do in your spare time?"
She didn't quite smile, but she looked at him, seeming pleased he had asked. He realized she approved of him not making assumptions on her hobbies based on what he had known Alicia liked to do.
"I didn't often have much free time." Alicia admitted. "There was always so much to do around the farm, not to mention daily chores at home. But...when I did manage to get a moment to myself, I enjoyed sewing."
"Sewing?" He was surprised, unable to picture Alicia enjoying working a thread and a needle. He remembered the time her shirt had torn, Alicia attempting to sew up the gash on the back of the blouse. She had actually pricked herself with the needle, and her patch up work was messy at best. She had ended up buying a shirt to replace it the minute they had reached the next town.
"Yes." She arched an eyebrow at him, looking amused. "Is that so surprising to you?"
Rufus shrugged his shoulders, but was in no hurry to let the conversation die. "What did you like to sew?"
"Oh, anything really." Alicia said, and her eyes took on an excited gleam. "I liked to make my own clothes...though...I didn't get a chance to do it often. Fabric was so expensive, we couldn't really afford to buy more than a few bolts a year. Usually my parents gifted me with several choices of fabric for my birthday. I'd work by candlelight, squinting in the dark to fit in time for my dresses."
"I see..." Rufus said, making a mental note to see about getting fabric for Alicia to work with. He'd overwhelm her with choices, determined to see her have fun with her hobby. "Did you enjoy anything else?"
"Singing..." She admitted, than blushed, hastily adding. "It was something I could do at any time, even when I was doing my chores."
"I bet you have a lovely voice." He said, smiling as her cheeks reddened even further.
"You shouldn't be so quick to hand out the compliments!" Alicia said, clearly flustered. "You have no way of knowing what my voice sounds like! I could be awful!"
"Then sing for me." Rufus urged, surprised when she began fidgeting in place, fingers playing with each other.
"Oh I couldn't!" She shook her head, blond hair flying about. "I don't sing for anyone else to hear! I would die of embarrassment!"
"Oh..." Rufus was disappointed, and he knew it showed in his eyes. "Not even for me?"
"Especially not for you!" She said firmly, and hurried to change the conversation. "I also like hanging out with friends. Good company is worth a lot to me."
"To me too." He replied, biting back the urge to say she was all the company he really needed.
"What about you?" Alicia asked, polite interest in her eyes. "What do you like to do in your spare time?"
"Well...I haven't had a lot of it since becoming King of the Gods." Rufus said, then chuckled, seeing Alicia blink at him in confusion. "I've been spending a lot of time with you, but at the expense of my duties. This is sort of...a mini vacation for me, this time with you. It's nice...real nice." Her cheeks were still red, so Rufus couldn't tell if she had been affected by his words, but he liked to think she had.
"But...when I do grab a few moments, I guess what I like to do is practice my archery. I don't want my skills to get rusty." He told her. "Hmm...I guess you could add reading to the list, but..well...my position gives me so much paperwork, it's hard to take pleasure from reading. Mostly I find myself wandering around at night, strolling the halls." His voice softened, and he wondered if his eyes showed pain. "I tend to use that time to think...thinking seems to be all I do...or maybe it's remembering that is the problem."
"You think about her...about Alicia..." Alicia said softly.
"Yes..." A whisper from him, his head bowed so that his hair fell forward to obscure his eyes. "I think about her--about you all the time. I think about the past, I dream about what could have been, how I could have changed things, how I should have stopped her. I think about the future we were denied, mostly I think about how much I love Alicia. I even thought about you...you as Alana..."
"Me?"
"Yes." He nodded, seeing her through a haze of green hair. "I knew Alicia had been reincarnated. I often thought about the life she might have...It's been so hard to stay away, to not interfere..." A bitter laugh then, Rufus giving a sharp jerk of his head. "I failed at that too."
"I...I would be dead right now if you hadn't." Alicia said, actually taking a step closer to him. "So for that I am grateful. I don't want to die, anymore than anyone else does." He saw her lift up her hand, start to reach out towards him. But then she stopped, pulling her arm back to her side, having decided against touching him. "Thank you Rufus."
Listening to her speak, hearing her thank him made Rufus feel horribly guilty. She didn't know what he knew, that it had been her time to die. Alicia didn't know how much he had screwed things up, how even now the Norns were scrambling to repair the tapestry of fate. Alana had lived, and many others had died, died when they should have lived. It was having repercussions all over Midgard, and the destiny the Norns set into place. Those that had died had been soldiers, set to go into battle. Some would have died within days of killing Alana, but others would have lived, lived to kill more people. People both good and bad, living when they should have died, doing things they shouldn't have been able to do.
One life spared, and such a ripple effect spread throughout the world. It just wasn't fair! And he was needlessly complicating things by keeping Alicia here. The Norns were currently doing fixes to the tapestry, trying to manage as best they could. But the repair job was a Midgard without Alana's presence. According to the current design, she doesn't exist, she had no effect on any future events. He didn't even know if the Norns could find a way to reintegrate her into the weave, not without causing tangles that would never unravel.
He had screwed up, the worst mistake of his short career as King of the Gods. But more than that, he was lying to the woman he loved. Letting her think there was a chance for her to go home. She'd hate him if she knew, he was sure of it. He was betting everything, his and hers chance at future happiness, all on her remembering her past life.
"Rufus?" Alicia was looking at him, her voice drawing him away from his thoughts. "Did you hear me?"
"Uh yes..." He lifted his head, fingers brushing back his hair. "You're welcome Alicia. I couldn't let you die, no matter what! It was bad enough the first time, being helpless to save you..."
"How did she die?" asked Alicia, and he hesitated, not sure how to explain. "Were you there to see?"
"Yes...I was by her side..." He admitted, and his eyes flashed with pain as he remembered the Valkyrie. Her eyes had flashed blue for a moment, Alicia's soul shining through as she lifted up her hand to kiss the ring of Mylynn. "She...she knew she was going to die...and Alicia accepted it. She went into battle, never betraying any fear or uncertainty...No..." A bitter smile from Rufus, making Alicia gasp at the pain he revealed to her. "That was left all to me. You can't imagine what it's like to know the one you love is dying...that her soul is slowly but surely burning away, and at any moment, maybe even before the battle ends, she might slip away from you."
"Her soul burning away?" questioned Alicia, but he shook his head no.
"I could barely concentrate on the battle. My eyes kept drifting towards her. Checking to make sure she showed no signs of faltering, no hint of being at death's door." An angry laugh from him. "I nearly got killed myself, on several occasions for my carelessness. But she...and the others managed to deflect the blows before they could kill me. Perhaps it would have been better if I had died then...then to go through the pain of being without her."
"I'm sorry." Alicia said, looking sad.
"Tears?" Rufus whispered, seeing her eyes looked wet. "Are you crying?"
"Maybe a little..." She rubbed the back of her hand against her eyes, trying to catch the tears before they fell. "It sounds very sad, very painful. I'm sorry you had to go through that..." She gave a sharp shake of her head. "Perhaps I am a fool to feel sorry for you when you've kidnapped me. But I can see just a glimpse of your hurt, and it makes me want to comfort you."
"I...thank you." Rufus said, her words doing much to soothe the pain he felt in his heart. "You...Alicia was like that too. Always wanting to help ease the hurt others felt. Of course I wasn't always nice to her when she tried, I had much to learn in those early days about interacting with others."
"Hmm. Rufus?" A slow, hesitant smile on her face, Alicia reaching out to timidly touch his hand. "Thank you for sharing this with me."
"Thank you for listening." He said in reply. "I...I think I should go now."
"Go? She was clearly surprised, and he had to laugh at that.
"Hey now! You actually look disappointed at the thought!" He couldn't help teasing her, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
"I am not!" Alicia protested, spinning around to present him with her back. "I just...it's lonely here by myself. I don't have anything to do."
"I'll change that. I'll find you some things to help pass the time." Rufus said. "But for now...well...there is a library."
"A library?" She asked, a glimmer of interest in her voice.
"Yes." A thought occurred to him then, and he anxiously asked, "You do know how to read don't you?" He knew that in the poorer villages where the familles relied on the children to help with their income, education was often neglected. Especially for girls, thinking their importance limited to getting married and making babies.
"Um...yes..." She was embarrassed. "I'm not very fast...but I can read."
"Oh good..." He sighed, relieved. "Well, you'll have plenty of time to practice. The library here is amazing. It's quite an extensive collection, and the books are magic. Whatever language you want them to be in, they change to become just that!"
"Wow.." Alicia said, impressed.
"The library is not too far from my room." He added. "Just make a left when you go out those doors, and follow the corridor to the end. You'll reach the library in no time."
She was nodding her head, her blush fading from her cheeks. "Thank you Rufus."
"For what?" Rufus asked, surprised.
"For...for not locking me in here. For allowing me some measure of freedom to roam about your home." Explained Alicia.
Now it was his turn to be embarrassed, Rufus' voice coming out gruffer then he meant. "For now, it's your home too. So feel free to wander where you like. No one will stop you, and if you get lost, there will be plenty of help to guide you back here."
"Okay."
"Good night Alicia..." He said, glancing at the window to see the sky had started to darken. "I probably won't see you until the morning. But if you need anything, need me...don't hesitate to ask!"
"I will." She promised, standing in place as he backed away from her. Rufus found it hard to turn away, wanting to stare at her all day and well into the night. But at last he forced himself to turn, and walked out of the room. He reached behind him, shutting the doors closed, and with a sigh leaned against the wood.
"That went well." Rufus said, smiling to himself. He was relieved they had managed to get through a conversation without fighting, and it left him feeling hopeful about his chances at winning her over.
Pushing himself away from the door, he gathered ether around himself, letting sparkles of it cascade down his body. Chimes rang out as he faded from the hall, watching impassively as his surroundings blurred. He moved, walking forward, and heard the air making a popping sound, letting him step into new surroundings. Sometimes he wondered if he was getting lazy, using ether to transport himself around Valhalla. But the building was large, with many twists and turns, corridors stretching on for miles at a time.
This time he chose to appear outside the throne room of Valhalla, walking down the corridor which had smaller doors lining the East wall. One such door led to his office, a room he often retreated to, to think about the God's proposals. His hand reached for the knob, gold's reflection distorting his image, and a voice called out to him.
"Lord Rufus!"
He turned his head, seeing Freya floating before the large double doors that guarded access to the throne room. The doors were slightly ajar, just enough space for the Goddess to squeeze through. Her hands were on her hips, the woman dressed in her familiar green tunic, legs bent as she mimicked sitting on a chair. Rufus had to bite back a groan to see the annoyance in her eyes, her lips pursed together in a thin line of disapproval.
"Freya..." He nodded at her, and she took that as invitation to fly closer to him.
"I'm surprised to see you here." She said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Have you actually found the time to tear yourself away from your mortal companion?"
Before he could answer, she was continuing. "Really Lord Rufus, how much time are you going to devote to that girl?"
"As much as I can." Rufus answered, and grinned at her. "Thank you for respecting my wishes and not contacting me today. It was nice to have a moment to myself."
She looked taken aback by his thanking her, and she sniffed, a haughty look in her eyes. "Well, it's not as if I NEEDED you to run this kingdom. I do have some experience when it comes to maintaining order." A toss of her blond hair, Freya seeming proud of her accomplishments. "It was all too simple to keep the others in check until you can go over their proposals. I've already got the paperwork filled out and on your desk, along with the proper notation of my suggestions."
Rufus knew her suggestions were thinly veiled orders, but he didn't mind listening to her advice. She knew what she was doing, while Rufus continued to stumble along, trying his best not to make too many mistakes. It was easier to follow Freya's guidance, though he didn't do it blindly. He carefully read over all the paperwork, being sure to grasp an understanding of what was going on, and what was needed of him. He often instituted changes that were for the benefit of Midgard, and the mortals who lived there.
Slowly but surely, Rufus was learning, and knew the day would come when he would rely less and less on Freya's wisdom. But for now he remained grateful to her, the Goddess keeping him from becoming a laughing stock among the Divine Pantheon.
"I'll get right on it." Rufus promised, and she nodded.
"See that you do!" Freya said, then added. "And talk to Tyr while you're at it."
"Tyr?" Rufus questioned, wondering what the War God could possible want.
"Yes, Tyr. He is most...upset with you Lord Rufus." She replied, and tsked softly. "You cost him a war when you saved Alicia."
"Oh...that..." Rufus said morosely.
"Yes that!" Her eyes blazed, and she shook a finger at him. "You killed his warriors!"
"But they were making sacrifices to Odin, not Tyr!" pointed out Rufus, and she shook her head.
"It doesn't matter, all who wage war eventually fall under Tyr's jurisdiction no matter what God or Goddess they pledged themselves too." Freya explained, giving him a sharp look. "You should know that! And since they died not in the midst of battle, their souls have been forfeit from coming to him. They've been spread out all over the place, going to various Gods!"
Rufus was quiet, but thinking furiously. He knew mortal souls were very important to the Gods, they were highly valued. There was little that could get a God to give up on soul, laying claim to their worshippers, guarding them almost zealously. Sometimes a soul had more than one God he or she pledged themselves too, and that was when arguments broke out. Rufus often finding himself having to mediate the quarrels, and decide who received the souls. It was much simpler when the souls were collected by Valkyries, the worthy chosen to become einherjar.
For the most part the Gods didn't even do anything with the souls, content to let them rest in their own private versions of paradise until they were ready to be reincarnated. Alicia--Alana, would have ended up with the other virgin girls, in a lush green land, of flowers and music. It would be peaceful, and she would have been happy there, but her memories would have been erased. All in order to ease her from the pain of her sudden and violent death.
"Lord Rufus!" Freya all but shouted, snapping her fingers before his eyes to get his attention.
"Sorry Freya. I...I'm just tired." He said, sighing.
"Nonsense!" She protested, lowering her hand back down to her side. "Gods do not get tired, that is a mortal affliction!"
"Well, this God was once mortal." He pointed out, exasperation in his tone as he ran his hand though his hair, hearing the beads click together. "Freya, it's been a long day. I just want to kick back and relax. Go over a few documents. I promise I'll talk to Tyr in the morning."
"You better." Her voice held a hint of warning to it. "I can't put him off any longer."
"I know." He sighed. "I'll figure out some way to appease him. Maybe a small border skirmish will suffice." He was hesitant to allow another war to be staged in place of the one he had interrupted. He was still too mortal to remember the horrors such battles had on the people, and the surrounding lands. He'd stop all the wars if he could, but Freya and the others had insisted war played an important role in the lives of mortals. Indeed they kept sprouting up, despite his best efforts, much to Tyr's glee.
"For your sake I hope so." Freya said. "Will you be taking tomorrow off as well?" Her tone was curious, but Rufus knew she would be angered if he said yes.
"No...I think at least for a few hours I can put in an appearance at court." Rufus said, and Freya almost smiled, nodding in approval.
"You would do well to limit your pursuit of the girl to the night hours." She told him, and with a wave of her hand, she was coating herself in ether, bells chiming as she teleported away.
"As if I could really stay away from Alicia for that long..." Rufus whispered to himself, shaking his head. With a heavy sigh, he pulled open the door to his office, and stepped inside. At a snap of his fingers, light flared into existence, and Rufus bit back a groan to see the amount of paperwork the Fertility Goddess had piled up on his desk. He would be busy well into the night, trying to get it all done.
--
Eh...Weak ending I think...BLAH!! "dies"
Next chapter, we start to do a little time skip. In other words, I stop going day by day, and start showing them a few days/weeks later. Just cause this story would be like 700 chapters if I actually tried to go day by day!!
To Be Continued
Michelle
Angel Kamui, no problem! I've been hard at work on this story, and I am up to chapter 18 already :D I am saving the chapters though, to update once a week. I already broke that decision though, in posting this chapter so soon! Ahh, couldn't wait! You're right, Rufus does feel very lonely. Poor guy. Maybe it would have been better for him to have at least let Silmeria out of her sleep, then he'd have someone to talk to about his Alicia problems!
PikaBlue, aw you're too kind! Hmm, fluffy scenes...we shall see. I don't know if I'm good at fluff. Well there is an archery scene in chapter um...14 I believe, which might count as fluff. I really like it anyway. :) And they go on a date in 17. And it's funny you should mention the water mirror/Beauty and the Beast. I worry it's too obvious, but yeah, in 18 which I am struggling to write right now, he does take her to the water mirror to show her her family. (It will be about three months time wise into the story.)
Jealousy towards her family, yes! Maybe he doesn't like to share Alicia! XD But he probably doesn't want to hear that she was happy, cause then he knows he is doing bad in keeping her with him. It's not like he took her away from a bad situation. Plus he sees how different their lives are now. They no longer have that common ground of having sad upbringings.
Aerith the Evenstar, no time for Silmeria yet. Most likely sometime in the mid 20's, chapter wise. I just hope I don't screw it up when it's time for her to come around. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Was the update soon enough for you? :D
