Chapter 12: Speculations and Special Time
She was released for the hospital the next day.
He kept his distance, trying to give her the time she requested.
Angela was confused, continually to ask her mother questions.
"Why are we staying at hotel mommy?"
"Because it's closer to town sweetie," she had told her, trying to avoid a conversation about Walker and her.
"Is daddy going to stay with us?"
"Not right now honey."
"But why?"
"Because that's what mommy and daddy decided sweetie."
"How come?"
"Cause we're the adults and that's what we want."
"Are you going to tell him about the babies?"
That question threw her through a loop.
She decided to down-play.
Even though she was pissed at Walker, he still had a right to know first.
"What babies?" Alex asked her daughter.
"The babies in your tummy," Angela stated matter-of-factly.
Crap…
"How do you know about the babies, sweetie?"
"I heard the doctor and you talking about them, you thought I was still asleep."
She was starting to grow a little agitated with Angela always hearing things that were not meant for her little ears to hear.
"You know sweetie, when you're awake, you should really let me or daddy know."
"But you told me it's not nice to interrupt you when you're talking."
True…
I did tell her that…
At least she listens…
Unlike some people…
Walker…
"How about from now on, when you wake up, you let me or daddy know, even if we're talking. You can interrupt us so that we know you're awake. Sound like a plan baby girl?"
"Yes mommy," Angela answered, looking up and smiling at her.
I don't believe this…
I've got to tell him…
But then it'll be like everything is okay…
He'll try to make it all okay…
Not understand…
Walker, however, was not doing so well.
He threw himself back into his work.
There were whispers throughout the building.
It didn't take long for word to get around that the Texas Ranger and the ADA were living separate lives.
There were speculations about what had occurred.
He heard them around every corner.
Some said it was Alex's fault.
Most blamed Walker.
The stares were beyond what he could handle.
All he wanted was for Alex and Angela to be back at the ranch, but he knew that wasn't going to happened any time soon.
The phone call came out of the blue one evening.
"Walker, would you mind picking Angela up from the H.O.P.E. Center tomorrow?"
"Of course I can pick Angela up," he said.
He had seen Angela a handful of times since Alex's hospital stay, but he was looking forward to spending the evening with his little girl.
"Thanks so much Walker," Alex had said, getting ready to hang up the phone.
"Alex wait," he called, hoping she would give him two minutes to plead his case.
"Huh?"
It was the most relaxed he had heard her in weeks.
"I was hoping we could get together sometime, maybe to lunch. I miss you. I want to talk to you."
Alex glanced down at her slightly rounded abdomen.
It wasn't fair to be keeping the babies from him.
She just wasn't sure he was ready to face him yet.
"How about lunch?" she offered.
"Lunch?" he repeated, unsure if he was really hearing this.
"Yeah, lunch, the day after tomorrow. C.D.'s maybe?"
"That would be great. But I feel like we should do something more. How about for dinner? I'll see if Josie will watch Angela for a little bit and then we can have dinner, and talk?"
"That's fine," Alex said, realizing this wasn't going to be as easy as she hoped.
"I'll pick you up…" he began.
"No…that's fine…I'll just meet you at 6:00, if that's okay with you."
"Yeah, that's fine."
"And you'll pick Angela up tomorrow and I'll stop by around 8:00 and pick her up if that's okay."
"Whatever you want Alex."
"Thank you."
She hung up the phone quickly, rubbing circles on her abdomen, unsure of what she just agreed to.
She ran to the bathroom, just in time before she threw up.
Angela came in and asked if she was okay.
"I'm fine baby."
"You've been sick a lot mommy."
"I'll be okay honey. How about you go play with your toys," Alex suggested.
Once Angela close the bathroom door, Alex sat on the cold, hard floor and cried.
Gosh…
This is such a mess…
I've got to talk to Walker…
He's got to understand…
I'll not sure I can do this alone…
But she did do it alone.
She'd been dropping Angela off and picking her up from the H.O.P.E. Center for days.
She'd been running to the doctor's office on her lunch breaks.
She'd been taking her prenatal vitamins.
She'd been keeping up with the cost of the hotel and making sure Angela was well fed.
She'd been trying to get extra sleep.
She'd been trying to take care of herself and the babies.
She'd been trying to act like everything was okay.
But now, at three and a half months pregnant and after living without Walker for almost two straight months, she was finding it would be better to deal with their issues head-on.
Although she was still pissed at him, her children deserved to have two parents, living together.
And she needed the help.
Although she was managing, as her body continued to grow as the babies nestled inside her womb continued to grow, she was finding she couldn't do it on her own.
She wasn't ready to forgive him just yet.
But she did miss him.
I'm tired…
I'm tired of arguing every time I see him…
Tired of trying to keep up with Angela…
I just don't have the energy for it anymore…
I'm tired…
He began leaving messages for Alex the next day.
Cordell Walker had never been the most romantic man alive, but he was more determined than ever to make sure Alex knew he still loved her.
He'd left flowers and candy and gifts at the office the past few months.
This time he showed up at the hotel.
He had flowers in one hand and a teddy bear in the other when Alex opened the door.
"Walker, what are you doing here?"
At least she's not calling me Cordell anymore.
"I thought I would drop by. Can I come in?"
Alex moved out of the doorway, allowing him to enter.
"These are for you," he said, handing the flowers to Alex.
"Thank you," she said, wanting nothing more than to jump into his arms at the moment.
"Hey baby," Walker said as Angela ran towards him.
"Hi daddy," he said, wrapping her little arms around him as he picked her up.
"I got you something."
"What daddy?"
He showed her the teddy bear.
"Thank you," she said, kissing him on the cheek before he put on back on the floor.
He turned around to see Alex standing there, arms folded.
He eyes traveled down to her abdomen.
She's not…
No way…
Or is she…
"What?" Alex asked, hoping he wouldn't notice anything.
"Nothing, it's just…"
"Just what?"
"Nothing, never mind."
She stood there for a moment, unsure if she should tell him now, or wait a little bit longer.
She decided to wait.
But she had a deadline in mind.
She would tell him tomorrow.
No matter what.
"Walker, about dinner tomorrow…"
"You're not cancelling, are you?"
"No…I…umm…we really need to talk after dinner. I have something very important I need to tell you."
"You can tell me now."
"I can't tell you with Angela here, she's already been hearing too many things that she shouldn't be hearing lately."
He looked at her confused, before she explained.
"She's been pretending to be asleep and she's already heard too much. I just…I don't want her to hear the conversation I need to have with you."
"Is it serious?"
"It's not bad."
He left the hotel room minutes later, promising to pick Angela up later that afternoon.
He arrived as scheduled to pick her up.
Across town, Alex was arriving at her doctor's appointment.
She sat in the waiting room, wishing Walker was there with her, and hoping that by tomorrow night, things would be okay between them again.
Or at least okay enough that she wanted to be at the ranch with him again.
There was no denying they loved each other.
People could still see it in their eyes.
But the trust issues needed to be dealt with before they could move on.
Over the past few months, they had decided to take a break from each other.
Now though, seating the waiting room, with their children nestled in her womb, Alex realized just how much she missed him.
I miss everything…
His arms around me…
Seeing him with Angela…
His smile…
His voice reassuring me that everything would be okay…
This is such a mess…
I love him so much…
She was pulled from her memories by the nurse calling her name.
She walked back the room, ready for the appointment to be over since she had so much she needed to do; so much she needed to fix.
Dr. Bates entered the room, running the normal tests to make sure everything was okay with Alex.
"Your blood pressure is a little high," Dr. Bates commented.
"Oh…" Alex said, unsure of how to reply.
"Have you been under any stress lately?"
"A bit. Walker and I…we've been having a few problems…arguing a lot…getting alone a lot…it's a bit of a back and forth thing."
"Well, Cordell Walker knows that stress isn't good for his pregnant wife."
Alex's eyes hit the floor.
Dr. Bates took notice, as she continued, "Unless he doesn't know."
"I'm going to tell…tomorrow night…we've just been having trouble and I didn't want him to feel obligated to do anything. We're going to talk tomorrow night, go out…for a date night…try to patch the holes in our relationship. It's been too long…I miss him…I…we just need to work this out before I tell him. I couldn't live with myself if I thought he just felt obligated to make amends. If he wants out…" Alex stopped herself as she started to cry.
"Alex, you don't have to explain anything to me."
"I know. I just…I need him…but I'm not sure he trusts me…and I'm not sure I trust him."
Walker and Angela played in the park.
She slid down the slide.
She swung on the swings.
She tried to make it across the monkey bars, but he had to help her.
It was the perfect night for a father and daughter to spend together.
They stopped off to eat dinner before Walker decided that ice cream was in order for his princess.
He ordered Angela's ice cream in a cup, trying to make as little of a mess as possible.
She sat on his lap while she ate her ice cream, looking up from time to time to see her daddy's smiling face.
"I miss you, daddy," Angela told him on the car ride to the ranch.
"I've missed you too baby girl," he said, making sure he kept his eyes on the road.
"Daddy, will I always be your baby girl?"
"Of course you will be angel."
"Really?"
"Of course."
He pulled into the driveway of the ranch, parking the car and going around to the side of the car to let Angela out.
She held his hand as they walked up to the house.
"Are you sure I'll always be your baby girl daddy?"
"Of course I'm sure pumpkin," he said, unlocking the door and entering the house.
"What about after the babies are born?"
Walker stopped dead in his tracks, unsure if he had just heard his young daughter correctly.
"What did you say, Angela?"
"Will I still be your baby girl after the babies are born?"
"What babies Angela?"
"The babies in mommy's tummy."
