"Damn it, why did they have to close the arcade?" Kenny whines.
I sigh and lean back in my chair. "I think a fire inside is a legit reason."
"It's not like it burned down, it's just a tiny thing!" Cartman argues.
"They have to investigate," I explain.
"I bet this is your fucking Jew fault. I bet you and the Jews burned it down on purpose," Cartman accused. I sigh again and don't respond. I'm not up to this today. But Cartman wants to keep it up and make me snap. "Bet your bitch mom went and destroyed it because one of the games hurt your finger."
I don't give him a reply and Kenny cuts in. "Dude, quit being an ass. Kyle's mom would go on strike and get everyone involved because it has dangerous games."
Cartman laughs. "Did you hear that Jew?" When I don't answer him, he shouts, "Why the hell are you being so lame? Is it cause of your bitch girlfriend? Huh? Get over it, asshole!"
"Cartman, shut the fuck up!" Kenny warns.
"No, look, he doesn't care." It's true. His words just bounce off me. "Hey Jew, you're ugly. You're skinny. You're stupid."
Kenny rolls his eyes. "Now you're just being a retard."
"Damn, I wish Stan was here. He knows what to do when we're bored," Cartman said, weirdly changing the subject.
Kenny laughs. "He went off with Bebe slut."
"She's not a slut," I reply in her defense. I've never realized before now, but Bebe's actually a really nice girl. And Stan is beginning to like her, so we need to be nice.
"Huh?" Kenny and Cartman say simultaneously.
"She's really nice," I explain, "You just think she's a slut cause she hangs out with Wendy."
"And because she's a gossip," Cartman adds.
I roll my eyes. "Everyone has their flaws, and she's getting better. And she's not friends with Wendy anymore."
The boy and the elephant in front of me gasp. "The world is crumbling. I wonder who's falling from popularity, Bebe or Wendy?"
"Probably Bebe," Cartman says.
"Yes, and she won't care because that's how cool she is."
Cartman grins. "Do you like her or something?"
"Yeah, she's cool," I reply, "Cooler than Wendy for sure."
"I mean, do you like love her?" Cartman expands.
I choke on the soda I've been drinking. "No! She's just a friend!" I really want to be nice to her cause Stan likes her. Oh shit, I think I've been sending out the wrong idea.
"Suuuuure," Kenny drawls, twirling a hand in his blonde locks.
"No, the reason I'm defending her is because Stan likes her and we may be seeing a lot more of her soon."
"Ha! The fag likes the slut! This is cool!" Cartman says.
Kenny glares at him. "Dude, shut up. It's fine when we're teasing but you don't have to be a douche bag."
"Let's talk about something else," I say quickly, really not wanting to get into this.
"Yeah," Kenny agrees, "Let's talk about you."
I widen my eyes in shock. "Me?"
Kenny nods. "Listen, you've been all emo since Red dumped you. You need a cheering-up day."
"That sounds gay," Cartman remarks.
"Shut up, fat ass," Kenny snaps, "Listen. Today, we will have fun. Just us guys, and no girls to ruin our lives."
"I never thought you'd say that girls ruin our lives," I note, grinning at Kenny.
He rolls his eyes. "I know, but they can be pains in the asses. Let's go to the mall."
"Hey you guys!" Kenny calls, "Look at this!" He reaches into a bucket and pulls out fake boobs. I roll my eyes. Yep, this is how we forget about girls.
"What are those for?" Cartman asks.
Kenny throws the boobs at him. "We're in a joke shop, fat ass. What could they possibly be for? Ooh, do you think there's a bra to go with 'em?"
"Shut up, Kenny!" Cartman and me both shout, turning away.
Cartman begins to walk out of the store as Kenny drops his toys and looks up. "Where are you going?"
"Barnes and Nobles!" he replies.
I'm confused. Why the hell would Cartman want a book? I voice this question.
"Because there's a CD I'm looking for, and that's the best place to get it. Plus, you can look at the Gay/Lesbian section if you want!"
"Why would I want to?" I ask.
"Because, with all the girl shit that's been going on, it may be easier to just become gay."
I shake my head and laugh. "No thanks, man. I'm sticking with girls."
"Aw, come on Ky, Cartman was getting all hopeful. God knows he can't get laid."
"Shut up!" Cartman says, flipping Kenny off and walking into the store.
As we arrive in the quiet store, the lady at the counter looks pissed when she sees Cartman. "Kid, get out of my store. You come here every week and irritate everybody."
"The economy sucks, bitch, don't pretend like you don't like the extra customer," Cartman replies, ignoring the lady and walking over to the CD's.
"Cartman, do you have to be such an asshole?" I ask angrily, ripping the headphones he was using off his head.
He scowls. "What? That bitch whines at me every fucking week!"
"Maybe it's because you're a douche bag!" I reply.
"Aw, look!" Cartman says excitedly, then responding to my confused face, "Little Jew insulted me! He's happy again!"
I was thinking of Spencer's Gifts when I wrote the joke shop part. My friend told me to put a joke shop in and I'm like eh... let's go to the mall. i need to get something at Spencer's and it was like BAM!
Oh, and guess what. A lot of you people must have crabs up your asses cause I didn't get a single review on the last chappy. -kills self- YEAH! How do you like me now?
Just kidding, but please review this chappy. It's the thing that keeps me writing. I have no inspiration if I don't know what you think, which is why this chapter sucks!
Thanks for readin! Love ya! ~Lori
