A/N: Hello there! This is a new series I'm starting called "The Firsts". They all take place in the baby Micah universe, which I intro'd in the one-shot Superpowers. This universe is canon up until 5x05, everything in 5x06 and beyond NEVER happened (I explain more about it in Superpowers, but you don't necessarily have to read that one to understand this one). Micah's age will jump around, but we're starting generally with newborn stuff, because they're my fav :-) These will all be pretty fluffy, but I think they're also very tender and real. I hope you guys like!
Love At First Sight
When they'd put Micah on her chest for the first time she couldn't stop crying.
It's all a bit of a blur, and later she only remembers bits and pieces, but she remembers thinking that he'd felt so small in her arms. He'd felt so big inside her belly, but when he's finally in her arms he's tiny. She remembers trying to keep him covered up, trying to get him warm under the blanket they'd given her because he'd looked so little and cold. She remembers Fitz crying too, pressing kisses to her temple, murmuring how proud he was of her, how amazing she'd been. She remembers the sound of Micah crying and crying as they'd quickly weighed him, cleaned him up, measured his head, and then how quickly he'd stopped crying when he was back on her chest, snuggled up warm and safe. She remembers saying "hi" to him over and over through her tears, overwhelmed with love for him already and not sure what else to say.
He's still on her now, hours later, and their recovery suite is dark and quiet. They've had a fairly successful first attempt at breastfeeding and now they're skin to skin, with him cuddled upright against her bare chest in just his diaper. He's sleeping soundly, his little legs tucked up underneath his body as she reclines in bed, cradling him against her, the blankets pulled up to cover them. Fitz is asleep in the recliner in the corner, and she supposes she should be trying to get some rest too, but she can't stop looking at Micah.
She's head over heels in love with him, and it takes her breath away. He's just perfect, with his soft skin, his adorable pouty lips, his deliciously chunky cheeks, his intoxicating baby smell. She can't get enough of him, she can't stop pressing gentle kisses to his head, listening to the soft squeaks and whimpers he's making in his sleep, brushing her index finger over the tiny hand that's laying on her chest. Before she knows it emotion is overwhelming her again, a few silent tears streaming down her face.
"Hey," Fitz says softly, getting her attention.
She hadn't even noticed that he'd woken up, she's so wrapped up in Micah.
"How's he doing?"
"He's perfect," she whispers, clearing her throat, wiping the moisture from her cheeks.
He comes over to sit in the chair next to her bed, peering at the baby, smiling affectionately.
"You want me to take him for a little while, so you can get some sleep?"
She shakes her head, returning his smile.
"You don't mind if I keep him, do you?"
Fitz hasn't gotten to hold him very much yet, but he doesn't seem to mind, seeming to understand that it almost hurts her to be separated from this tiny person right now.
"I wouldn't dream of moving him, Livvie, he looks like he could sleep there forever."
"Come lay with us," she requests softly, wincing slightly as she scoots over so he can share the narrow bed with her.
He makes himself comfortable, wrapping an arm around her, and she lays back against his shoulder, sighing in contentment. They're quiet for a little while, enamored with their son, who's barely ten hours old.
"How do you feel?" he asks quietly, and it's such a loaded question but he's dying to know what's going on in her head.
She takes a deep breath and shakes her head slowly, not able to answer right away.
"I'm not sure what I expected," she breathes, "But I…I didn't expect to feel this much. I can't—it's—"
"I know," he finishes for her, nose pressing into her hair, "It's a lot."
"He's so beautiful, isn't he?"
"Most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Tied with Karen, Gerry, and Teddy, of course."
"Of course."
Micah stirs a little bit as they chat, blinking his eyes open a few times and moving his head.
"Hey buddy," Fitz says softly, "Are you gonna let us see those eyes?"
"Do you think they'll be blue?" she wonders, adjusting him a bit so they can see his face better.
Fitz looks skeptical. "I don't know, they're that newborn blue right now but they're awfully dark."
"I think I should try to feed him."
"Really? How do you know?"
"I don't, but the nurse told me if he looks awake and it's been almost two hours he's probably getting hungry, and that it's better to try before he starts fussing. Can you hand me that pillow?"
He reaches over to grab the C-shaped nursing pillow and helps her get situated, rearranging the blankets so that her other breast is covered, should anyone walk in unannounced. Sure enough, as she positions Micah near her chest he starts to complain a little bit, turning his head, opening his mouth, instinctively looking for milk.
"Do you want me to move?"
"No, I want you right where you are. And you're good back support," she teases, cuddling further into his side, "Okay, peanut, you ready?"
Fitz watches as she settles into nursing Micah with minimal difficulty, amazed that it's only her second time doing it.
"You're incredible," he murmurs, kissing her temple, "You're a natural."
She doesn't say anything to that, just tips her head to rest against his chest.
"When he's done eating you should take him for a little while."
"Really?"
"Sure. Well, maybe…"
The First Day Home
The day they bring Micah home from the hospital is the most perfect, joyful, anxiety-filled day of her life. It's so strange, bringing this little person into their house, this little person that they created and are now responsible for.
Fitz sets Micah down in the living room and immediately heads to the freezer, stashing away the lasagna the hospital has kindly sent home with them. He'll never forget it, the moment he comes back out of the kitchen and finds her in the living room, standing in front of Micah's car seat, staring down at the baby.
She looks up at him with a 'what now?' expression on her face, so adorably bewildered that he has to clamp down on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.
Technically, he's done this before. He knows exactly what she's feeling, although he supposes he does and doesn't at the same time. He doesn't have a truckload of hormones racing through his system, or sensitive body parts that are healing, but he does know what it's like to be a new parent.
She's looking down at Micah again, a look that's a mixture of the purest love he's ever seen, and fear, as if the baby might burst into flames at any moment.
He walks over to stand next to her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into his side, staring down at his youngest son. He's a great mix of the both of them, with the most gorgeous café au lait skin and big, expressive eyes. He's going to have Olivia's curls when his hair grows out, and her nose, but he has Fitz's chin, and Fitz's long fingers.
"So…what do we do now?" she asks quietly, only half-joking.
"Well," Fitz sighs, "We try and keep him alive."
She elbows him in the side, looking up to find him smiling at her warmly.
"Don't make fun of me," she giggles, tipping her head against his shoulder, letting him press a kiss into her hair.
"I was serious, actually, that's all we need to do at this point," he laughs, "It's…it feels a little weird, right?"
"Definitely weird. I carried him around all that time and now he's right there, in our house, out in the world. I feel like I'm dreaming. It's probably not that weird for you, is it? You've brought babies home before."
"Well, the novelty doesn't exactly wear off, it's just as exciting. And I've never brought a baby home with you before, so that part is definitely new. And wonderful," he murmurs, finding her lips and capturing them in a soft kiss.
Her warm brown eyes unexpectedly fill with tears, a tide of emotion rising inside her before she can stop it. He smiles sympathetically as she blinks the tears back, letting him wipe away the few that manage to escape over her cheeks.
"Happy tears," she sighs, leaning in to his hug, laying her head against his chest.
Liv closes her eyes for a few seconds, breathing him in, swaying in his arms.
"You hungry?" he asks, realizing he'd better get the food situation under control before he gets too comfortable in the house.
He watches as she pulls away from his chest and ponders the question, likely taking stock of the various sensations she's experiencing, trying to figure out if any of them are hunger-related.
"Yes," she answers, looking almost surprised, "I am, actually."
"Okay," he says, stifling a laugh again, "Let's figure out some lunch."
"You figure out some lunch," she corrects, bending down to the car seat, "I'll be on the couch, snuggling my baby."
"Oh, so he's your baby?" Fitz teases, as she carefully lifts Micah from the seat and cradles him against her chest, murmuring to him softly.
"Relax, Daddy, I meant our baby."
Our baby. That phrase makes his heart slam into his chest and takes his breath away. He still can't believe it, even as the words come out of her mouth.
The First Visitor
Olivia uncurls from the couch, Micah cradled in one arm, and hugs her best friend. Abby pulls away and looks down at Micah with wide, almost awestruck eyes.
"Liv, he's gorgeous."
"He's pretty incredible," she agrees softly, tucking the blankets under his chin, starting to rearrange her hold on the tightly swaddled newborn, "Here, you want to hold him?"
"Uh, yeah."
They move over to the couch and Abby sits down first, letting Liv put the baby in her arms.
"Hi Micah," she says softly, "How's the world so far little buddy? I'm your Aunt Abby, it's nice to finally meet you."
Liv's not sure why watching Abby meet her son makes her cry, although it seems like anything is likely to make her cry these days. Watching someone so important to her meet him is unexpectedly moving, second only to seeing Fitz hold him for the first time. She blinks the tears away and leans back into the cushions, propping her head against her hand and smiling as she watches Abby gaze at his little face.
"Wow," Abby breathes, "Liv…"
"I know."
"You have a baby."
"I know."
"Does it feel crazy?"
"A little," she says softly, eyes landing on Micah, "Mostly it just feels like…it feels like I've known him all along. When I saw him I just thought, 'oh, of course, that's him'. It's hard to explain."
"I think I get what you mean," Abby smiles, "I haven't experienced it, obviously, but it makes sense. He's so tiny, I've never held a baby this tiny before."
"Neither had I until six days ago," Liv admits, yawning widely.
"So…how are you feeling? Are your lady bits changed forever?"
"Abby!" she laughs.
"What? It's a valid question, now that I've seen the size of this guy's head in person, and I already know how big vaginas are, the two just don't really—"
"Okay! You don't have to remind me, memories are fresh here, Abs."
"Seriously though, you really didn't have any pain meds? Nothing?"
"No, I didn't," she recalls, "Honestly, it was hard, really hard, but weirdly satisfying? I don't know, I just figured, I'm only gonna do this once, I may as well get the full experience. I couldn't have done it that way without Fitz though, he was amazing."
Micah starts to squeak a little bit in Abby's arms, fussing and squirming inside his swaddle.
"He's probably getting hungry," Liv explains, glancing at the clock, "He's eating every two or three hours right now."
"Oh, I'll get out of your hair so you can feed him," Abby says, handing the baby back to her.
"No, stay," she whines, "You just got here and I haven't seen you in forever. Nothing but boys around here now, I need some girl time."
"Are you sure?"
"I mean, I don't care if you don't. You've put me in the shower drunk before, my boobs are nothing you haven't seen already."
"True," Abby laughs.
"Just give me a couple minutes to help him latch. We're still learning, right pumpkin?" she coos softly, laying Micah down on the couch cushion in front of her, starting to unwrap him.
"I'll make tea," Abby announces, "Do you want some tea?"
"Tea sounds great," she smiles, pushing her thin wrap sweater out of the way and unclipping one side of her nursing top.
Abby heads into the kitchen and Liv grabs a pillow, getting the baby settled and ready to nurse.
"Alright, little mister, work with me here," she murmurs, tickling his cheek until his tiny mouth opens wide.
It takes a couple tries, but by the time Abby comes back with their tea Micah is securely latched, suckling enthusiastically.
"Look at you go, mama," Abby comments, cheering her on as she settles back onto the couch opposite them, "Does it hurt?"
Right on cue, Liv winces.
"For the first few minutes it does, but if we're doing it right it goes away," she explains, adjusting her sweater, "We're getting the hang of it. It's just so good for him, if I can do it, I want to."
"I think you are doing it," Abby says warmly, "You're already doing great."
"Thanks," she smiles, touched by the compliment, "Enough baby chat though, how's work? Tell me everything."
"Well first of all, I don't know where you found that Marcus guy but he's incredible…"
The First Sip
They're winding down for the evening, hanging out in their warm, dimly lit bedroom when Fitz disappears for a few minutes. He comes back carrying the two previously discussed glasses of wine, and her eyes light up.
"Here we go," he says, kneeling on the bed to hand her a glass, "Nine months and two weeks, let's get you off the wagon."
"I don't think that's a very good metaphor, but I'm too excited to care right now," she giggles, sitting up and crossing her legs, softly clinking her glass against his.
She takes a sip, holding the rich, velvety liquid on her tongue for a moment.
"Oh my god," she whispers, her face scrunching up in ecstasy.
Lying down and propping his head up he laughs at her reaction, because whenever she has that much joy on her face he can't help but be swept up in it.
"Mmm," she hums enthusiastically, quickly tasting the wine again, "What is this? Is this—"
"1982 Chateau Margaux," he confirms, taking a sip himself.
"Oh, you're my favorite," she coos, swirling the liquid and holding it up to the light of the table lamp.
"Me or the wine?" Fitz laughs, watching her stick her nose into the glass.
"Right now it's a toss up," she breathes.
When she turns to look at him his eyes are narrowed in mock annoyance, and laughter bubbles out of her. She cups his face and connects their lips in a series of kisses.
"You," she soothes between kisses, "It's always you, you're always my favorite."
Micah chirps from where he's cradled on the soft, newborn lounge pillow between them, pursing his lips in his sleep.
"Someone's jealous," Fitz smiles.
"You're my favorite too, sweet boy," she says, leaning down to kiss Micah's plump cheek, "Is it weird that I'm drinking in front of him?"
"Liv, he's two weeks old, he has no idea."
"What if he wakes up and needs to eat?"
"Hey, relax. You just fed him, look how content he is."
As if to illustrate a point, Micah lets out a squeaky little sigh, effectively melting the both of them.
"Damn, he's cute."
"Don't curse in front of my baby."
"Liv, he's two weeks old, he has no idea."
"I don't care, who knows what his little brain is absorbing right now."
"Uh, doctors. Doctors and scientists know, and it's well documented that he's not gonna remember me cursing in front of him when he was two weeks old."
Micah sighs again, smacking his little lips together in a way that's so endearing they can't help but stop bantering and stare at him, drinking their wine.
"I can't believe how much I love him," she whispers suddenly, meeting his gaze with wide, overwhelmed eyes.
He reaches across and takes her free hand, squeezing it gently. He's always mindful of the fact that while he's had kids before, she's a first-time parent. He only gives her advice when she asks for it, wanting her to build confidence, never wanting her to feel like he has a leg up because, truly, every baby is different. He spends most of his time in awe of her incredible instincts, her ability to know what their son needs before he needs it. Sometimes though, when she looks at him like that, like she needs him to tell her she's not crazy, he knows it's okay to impart wisdom, to draw on his experience.
"It's all-consuming," he agrees, "And it's unwavering, it never stops, every time you look at him...you'll feel it."
"Sometimes I look at him, and I still can't believe we made him. How do you not spend all of your time staring at them?"
"Well," he says gently, "When Gerry and Karen were born I was Governor, and then when Teddy was born I was President, so I never had the chance to just, stare at them, when they were tiny like this. And we always had nurses, and nannies, I never got to do this, hunkering down in the house, snuggling them all day, being sleep-deprived together. So, I say, if we want to sit here and stare at him, we sit here and stare at him."
Tears sting her eyes for a second while he talks, because her hormones are still out of whack, and she forgets sometimes what it was like for him. The man loves being a father, he loves his kids, and he missed so much that she knows it eats at him.
"You know what my favorite thing so far has been?" he asks.
She shakes her head, taking a sip of her wine, absently adjusting the corner of Micah's blanket.
"Watching you. You're such an amazing mom already, he's so lucky to have you."
"You should know better by now than to say things like that to me," she murmurs, trying to keep herself from crying, "But thank you."
Luckily, Micah chooses that moment to smack his little mouth again, making such adorable "o"'s with his lips that she can't help but smile at him.
"You're right...damn, he's cute."
A/N: As per usual this website hates me so I had to post in not one, not two, but THREE parts. Proceed to Part II! Do we like baby-fic? Are we here for it? Let me know in a review!
