Disclaimer: I own nothing
Chapter Twelve
Four days later it was Friday, and Becky walked into the staffroom before school. It was just another at at Waterloo Road, and as she walked through the staffroom, she saw the same teachers sitting in the same places.
She saw Tom standing in the kitchen area and she smiled as she walked over. He was standing around with Jasmine, Matt and Davina.
When she reached then, he held out a cup of coffee.
She smiled gratefully, " Thanks," she said, as she came to stand with her friends. They were already talking about Matt's musical, and the trouble he was having trying to get Brett and Mika to get on.
Becky was only half listening to the conversation, and she didn't notice when the conversation had turned to her. She was far away, thinking about something she'd realised the night before. .
" Becks? "
She snapped out of her trance and looked up at her brother, who was the only person to ever really call her "Becks." " Sorry, what? " she asked him, shaking her head in apology.
He smiled fondly, " Jasmine just asked you about the archaeological dig," he told her.
Becky smiled and she looked at Jasmine, " Sorry," she said, " yeah, the dig is today. And lucky me, I've got Grantly to keep me company. "
The others all scoffed.
" What's the point of this ... digging around in the school fields ... thing? " Matt asked.
Becky shrugged, " Well, it was something Karla started, what with her new passion for archaeology and fossils. "
Davina nodded, taking a sip from her coffee, " Well, you know what she's like once she's got an idea in her head, and when Rachel got wind of it she decided it would be really great for the pupils toget involved and do something outside their studies. "
" How come Grantly's involved? " Matt asked, frowning.
Becky shrugged, " Well, Rachel decided that if one class of year twelves were involved, we should get more involved. I get to oversee it as a member of the history department and Grantly has year 12 first thing too, so he's just been roped in. I think Rachel's organised some cover for my year eights first lesson. "
" D'you think you'll find anything? " Davina asked.
Becky was about to reply, but she started to feel ill. She closed her mouth and paused, laying her hand over her stomach. " I ... I'm sorry," she said. A sudden wave of nausea gripped her and she said, " Excuse me. "
This wasn't the first time it happened this week, and she turned on her heel and left the staffroom.
She felt terrible, and the nausea took over, driving her to hurry to the staff toilets, which were luckily only a few doors away from the staffroom. She emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet as she knelt on the cold hard floor.
When she was finished, she sighed heavily, wiping away the sweat that had formed on her forehead.
It had happened three times this week, and she knew exactly what was going on, even if she was too scared to do anything about it. She'd sort of suspected that she might be pregnant the first time she was sick, and after the second time, she was more sure.
When she looked through her drawers she realised she hadn't used any tampons in over a month. She was pretty sure she must be pregnant and that was something she couldn't deal with.
Her period was a few weeks late, and she realised the last time she and Jack would have been together was six weeks ago. Jack had been gone 5 weeks to the day, now, and it was 6 weeks to the day that they'd split up. They were solid until they'd split up, so the latest it could have been was 6 weeks ago.
She was at least 6 weeks gone.
She hadn't done a test, but she knew. There was no way she couldn't be - the missed period, the morning sickness.
She couldn't believe it.
She and Jack and talked about having kids and agreed that they were going to have children at some point. Becky had always thought he'd make an amazing father and she'd loved the thought of having a child with him.
The thought of being pregnant was so confusing, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to get rid of it, because she knew if Jack was still around they'd have coped - they might not have planned it for right now, but they'd have muddled through and had the baby. She didn't feel like she could get rid of it because Jack wasn't around - it was still a baby, after all. She still had a chance to be a mum.
But it meant bringing Jack back into her life and she didn't know if she was strong enough for that.
She worried it might bring up too much if she had to bring him back into her life. It would be so complicated - she wasn't sure how she felt, but she'd never lived the thought of having an abortion. Not when it was killing a baby. And what if this was her only chance - she worried if she got rid of this baby, there'd never be another one, and then she'd hate herself for it.
She knew she couldn't spend all her time in the toilets, and she tried to pull herself together. She pushed open the door of the cubicle, washed her hands, splashed some water on her fce, and headed back to the staffroom.
She didn't feel strong enough to tell anyone yet.
She went back into the staffroom and she smiled weakly as she wandered back over to her friends.
They were all looking at her in confusion, and Tom was the first one to speak, looking at her with his usual concern. " You alright? " he asked, " what was all that about? "
She shook her head, " I was ... just felt a bit sick. "
He frowned, " Maybe you should go home, if you're ill," he said, walking around Matt, Jasmine and Davina to get to her side. " You don't look so good," he told her, " you really should go home, darlin'. "
The others all watched in concern but they knew no-one could comfort her quite like Tom could. It was quite touching, the relationship they had.
" Tom, I'm fine," she said, shaking her head.
" You're not," he said, " maybe Rachel could find some cover ... maybe ... look, if you're ill - "
" Tom," she said, a smile crossing her face as she looked at him, " you can't wrap me in cotton wool my whole life - "
" The hell I can't," he argued.
She laughed, " Tom, honestly I'm ok. It was just ... I don't know, but I'm ok, I was just a bit sick. "
Tom narrowed his eyes as he thought about it, " This isn't the first time you've been sick this week though, is it? Are you coming down with something? "
" Leave it," she said, though she appreciated his care, " I'm ok, I promise. "
He sighed. He knew her was probably overprotective but he couldn't help it. Their parents were both dead, their brother lived in australia, his wife had died, his fiance has a miscarriage, his fiance died. It felt like Becky was all he had left, other than the girls.
He relented, and as they all carried on the conversation, Becky sighed, wishing it wasn't this hard.
When the bell rang, she went out to the school field. The kids started digging in the corner of the playing field, and as Karla and Janeece took charge, Becky stood at the top of the big whole they were digging, watching them, while Grantly sat in a deckchair, reading the newspaper.
Some of the 6th formers who had free periods gathered around to watch and everyone was quite interested to see what would happen - many believed nothing would come of it, and Becky herself doubted they'd find much.
Becky watched Janeece scramble through the dirt and the teenager grinned, " I think I've found something! It feels boned shaped! "
Becky almost laughed when Janeece pulled out a broken shard of glass, from a bottle.
" Aah, you muppets," Lewis Seddon said, from where he stood at the top of the hole. Seddon was still working in the canteen, as much a Becky didn't like the thought of him being around.
" Shut it you, we're doing some real work here, aren't we Karla? " Janeece said, nudging Karla.
Becky smiled at Janeece's attitude, " Now now, Lewis," she said, " nothing wrong with a bit of history, is there? We might all learn something about the history of the ground we walk on every day. "
As Karla dug around, she said, " In the Precambrian era, this was a sea bed. "
Lewis scoffed, " She's making it up as she goes along. "
" Lewis! " Becky said, hands one her hips as she shook her head, " Miss Mason ok'd this because she thought it'd be something good to do outside the classroom. If you're going to be a distraction, you'd best get back to the kitchen, where I'm sure Candace will be able to find you something to do. "
" We'll prove you wrong," Janeece told Lewis firmly, " we'll find something. "
The class were silent for a while as they dug around and Karla suddenly tapped Janeece's arm with a start.
" See," Janeece told Lewis as Karla started brushing away the soil quickly.
Becky was quite interested to find out what would happen, and Grantly even got out of his chair to come and have a look.
" I promise you that whatever it is, it's not the skeleton of a dodo," said Grantly shaking his head.
Becky watched them uncover it and suddenly, she thought she'd seen something, but then dismissed it. She couldn't actually have just seen what she thought she had. As she looked it, she shook her head.
Karla was making little excited noises and Becky tried to speak but her voice failed her at first.
She took a horrified step back at the sight, and Grantly took action, jumping into the deep hole that had been dug. Grantly was ordering them to stop but everything around Becky seemed to go blurry.
She was horrified and she took several deep breaths at the sight of the skeleton. The baby's skeleton. She didn't know what to make of it and she shook her head.
" Oh my god, it's a baby! " shouted Janeece.
Becky came to her senses, knowing she needed to do something. " Everyone get out," she said, shaking her head, " everyone get back into school, now. "
The kids were all trying to get a look, as much as Grantly shouted at them to move. Becky couldn't believe what she was seeing - the skeleton of a baby. She couldn't imagine how anyone could bury a baby under the school fields - how desperate someone must have to be to do that.
She felt herself growing nauseus again but she pushed the thought out of her head and focused on making all the kids go back inside.
The kids all eventually did as they were told, and Becky looked back at the skeleton. She felt a shiver come across her whole body and she forced herself to look away quickly.
" We'd better go tell Rachel," Grantly said.
Becky nodded and forced herself to pull herself together.
She and Grantly walked to Rachel's office in silence, and they were both in a state of shock. Becky wondered what kind of mother had lost that child and how she much have felt. She couldn't imagine the pain of losing a child.
They walked to the office, and there they found the office door open.
Eddie and Rachel were sitting at the little table in the corner, talking, and it was Eddie who noticed them first. He saw the horrified looks on both of their faces and stood up slowly.
" What's going on? " he asked.
Grantly sighed heavily, " You're not going to believe this one. "
Eddie and Rachel were both very concerned, and it was Grantly who explained it all. Becky couldn't stop her hands from shaking and she couldn't believe what she'd seen.
When Grantly was finished Rachel shook her head in disbelief.
" There must be some kind of mistake," she said, absolutely stunned, as Grantly and Becky already were.
" I'm telling you," Becky said, speaking up for the first time, " we saw it. We ... we saw it. D-dead baby. "
" It's ok, Becky, we know, we believe you," Eddie said soothingly, making Becky nod and pull herself together.
" Maybe we should go see this," Rachel said.
Eddie agreed and the four of them were soon hurrying through the coridors. Becky trailed behind the other three and there were too many thoughts flying through her head. She was holding her breath a little as they walked and all she could think about was her own state.
The mother of the baby must have been so devastated to lose her baby, and here Becky herself was with a baby she didn't even know if she wanted. If this hadn't made her mind up for her then she didn't know what would.
There was no way she could get rid of a baby.
As they walked, Becky subconsiously laid her hand on her stomach, as if protected herself and the barely developed baby. Even without doing a test, she was certain she was pregnant. It had been too long, and with the morning sickness, there was little doubt.
They walked outside and Becky was very reluctant to walk across the field and show the skeleton to Rachel and Eddie.
The four of them stood there in silence and although it was a horrific sight, none of them could quite stop looking at it. Becky waited for someone else to say something because she didn't think she was strong enough to .
Eventually, Rachel sighed heavily, " Who'd bury a baby on a school playing field? "
Grantly shook his head, " You haven't been here long, have you? "
Rachel took a deep breath, " We'll have to call the police," she said, " the mother may well be one of the girls in the school. Eddie, Rebecca, can I leave you to tell the rest of the staff? Call an emergency meeting in the staffroom - I need to wait here for the police. "
Eddie didn't reply straight away and when Becky looked at him, she realised he looked as emotional as she was feeling.
" Eddie? " Rachel prompted.
Eddie shook his head, " Sorry," he said, turning to look at Becky, " shall we? "
She nodded and the pair of them started back towards the school. Becky was silent as she walked, and she was very worried about the whole situation - how they were going to find the mother, and where they were going to take this.
" Are you alright? " Eddie asked her as they walked up the stairs, after going around the heads of department and telling them to get all the staff in the staffroom. It meant just having to leave the pupils to their own devices but it was an extreme situation.
" Not really," Becky replied honestly.
Eddie nodded, understanding.
They walked into the staffroom and stood at the front of the room, watching the rest of the staff file in. Eddie looked at the young head of pastoral care once he was sure all the staff were present and he nodded.
She nodded in return and Eddie stopped forwards, clearing his throat and grabbing everyone's attentions. Everyone looked very confused, and they were obviously all wondering what on earth was going on.
" OK," Eddie said, " as most of you will know, some of our older students have been doing their own archaeological dig. The ... the dig didn't get very far because there was a discovery. "
As Eddie broke off to let the staff digest this, Becky realised she was a member of the management team too and whatever she was feeling, she had to be able to do her job.
" The pupils uncovered the remains of a baby," she said, her voice quiet, but with everyone in the staffroom so desperate to find out what was going on, that they all heard.
A collective gasp went up around the room and Becky closed her eyes for a moment as she allowed it to sink in around the room. The shock was evident and Becky knew everyone was feeling totally gobsmacked.
Becky struggled to find her voice again and as everyone in the room looked horrified, she felt the sudden wave of nausea rise again and she managed to swallow and supress it.
" The police have been called," Eddie said, " and they are very interested in finding the mother. " He took a deep breath, " I can only imagine what the mother of this child is going through. There's likely to be a lot of disruption to lessons today so ... well, if it's easier, just forget teaching, ok? "
Becky couldn't stop feeling terrible and she took a step backwards and leaned against the kitchen counter.
Across the room she caught Tom's eye and as he looked at her, he realised she was in rather a terrible state. The entire staffroom seemed to be in complete shock and no-one knew what to make of it.
Steph was the first one to speak up, " Shouldn't all classes be cancelled? " she asked, " I mean, the kids are all going to be really shocked. "
" Not to mention the staff," Tom mumbled.
" Nah, we haven't given out enough notice," sighed Eddie regretfully, " and anyway, the police may want the kids to stay onsite. "
" I've never heard anything like it," Steph said, shaking her head.
" Chilling, isn't it? " Jasmine asked, which was exactly Becky's thoughts, " especially when the mother may be one of our pupils. Imagine the desperation. "
" Why can't our girls just say no? " Grantly said, shaking his head.
Becky frowned - she thought this was completely out of line and she took a step forward as she looked at Grantly, " Maybe she did," she said sharply.
Grantly scoffed, " Not every teenage pregnancy is a rape," he said.
Davina seemed to agree with Becky and she spoke up too, displaying the emotions that were running high across the room, " There are other reasons," she said, " like maybe not every girl knows what she's doing in the first place. "
" They know too much, young people these days," said Grantly, shaking his head.
" Grantly! " Eddie said quickly, " a mother's lost her baby. "
The room fell silent again and everyone was still processing the information. Eddie sighed and looked around before leaving the room.
" I shouldn't have to be teaching at all," Grantly said, shaking his head, " after what I've been through this morning. "
" Like you're the only one," Becky said, shaking her head.
The room fell silent again, and as Becky looked up, she met Tom's eyes. She folded her arms over her chest and walked over to him. He reached out to her and he asked, " You alright? "
She couldn't fid the right words and she shook her head.
He nodded and stood up from where he'd been sitting on the table. He pulled her into a hug, " Must have been horrible to see," he mumbled. She tried to nod and he continued to hug her.
Her brother was so impossibly nice and she wanted to tell him everything - she wanted to tell him she was pregnant so he'd be able to make her feel better about it, and help her find the strength to tell Jack and cope with it.
She wanted to tell him but she couldn't bring herself to - the moment she told him, it would become real, and she couldn't ignore it.
Tom knew there was something wrong with her, but he assumed it was the shock of seeing the dead baby, which he thought had to be a shock to anyone. The meeting ran into breaktime and at the end of break time, Tom and Becky walked to their classrooms.
Tom was worried about his sister and walked to her classroom with her, before going to his own lesson.
Ten minutes after Becky's year ten class arrived, all talking amongst themselves about what they'd heard from those who'd been doing the dig. Becky sighed, knowing how difficult this day was going to be, and shouted at them all to take their seats and settle down.
They'd only been sat down a minute or so when the door opened and Eddie and Rachel walked in.
Becky raised her eyebrows and Rachel gave her a half hearted smile, " I think I should have a word," she said, before turning to the class.
Becky nodded and sat on the edge of her desk as Rachel adressed the class. She told them all that whoever the mother was, she would have plenty of support from herself, Eddie, Becky, and all the staff.
When Rachel had gone, Becky considered teaching a lesson but she knew it would be no good.
" Ok everyone," she said, standing in front of the class, " I was going to set you off on your coursework assignment, but I'm in no mood to teach and I know you're in no mood to learn. I guess you can all just talk or read or listen to your music or something. "
The class seemed very happy about this, and Becky sat behind her desk, wishing she was anywhere else.
All she could think about was how desperate the mother of the child must have been, which made her think about the sorrow of losing a child, which made her think about the baby she was carrying.
She imagined losing it and wondered how she'd feel.
The more she thought about it, the more she was starting to think maybe she could be a good mum.
As she sat at her desk, head in her hands, most of the lesson seemed to pass her by. It was nearing the end of the lesson when Rachel came into the classroom.
" Rebecca," she said, " can I borrow you? "
Becky nodded and followed Rachel out of the room.
In the corridor, a middle aged woman stood with curly dark hair stood and Rachel motioned ot her, " Rebecca, this is Detective Shaw, detective, this is Rebecca Clarkson, my head of pastoral care. "
Becky smiled a little, and the detective shook her hand.
" My main priority is to find the mother of this child," Shaw said, " could you draw up a list of vulnerable girls? Anyone who's been pregnant in the past, anyone in care, anyone you suspect might be the victim of sexual abuse, anyone the school nurse says has had the morning after pill recently. "
Rachel sighed a little, " I do hope you're not going to stigmatise Waterloo Road. The grounds here are hardly secure - it could be anyone. "
" These kind of crimes - " Shaw started only to be interrupted.
" If it is a crime," Rachel corrected, while Becky nodded, finding herself actually on the same page as her headmistress for a change.
The detective continued with a little nod, " These kind of things are usually done by young girls, who don't travel very far from home to do it. "
Rachel nodded and looked at Becky, " So you'll help with the initial inquiry? " she asked.
Becky nodded, " Of course I will. "
" I'll find cover for your lesson so you can start right away," Rachel said.
Becky was in her office ten minutes later, plucking files and folders from her shelves and tossing them onto the desk. The detective sat on the sofa in the office, silently watching Becky.
Becky was determined to find the mother and to help, and she managed to draw up a list of several girls who she thought might be vulnerable. Rachel was covering her lessons, so she and the detective started to get in all the girls Becky thought might be at risk, and spoke to each of them.
The search was proving very unsuccessful.
Becky's list was quite long thanks to the criteria Detective Shaw had given her, but each of the girls she spoke to denied having been pregnant at the time that would make them the mother, and some of them turned out to have never ever had sex, despite the rumours that surrounded them.
By dinner time, Becky was despairing about what she could do.
" Let's take a break," Detective Shaw said, " I'm going to speak to Miss Mason in a while, and tell her we spoke to every girl you put on the list but none of them gave us anything. For now, we might as well break for lunch. "
Becky nodded and the detective left the room.
Becky sighed and tried to calm herself down.
Now she was searching for the mother, it was all getting too much for her and all she could think about was her own baby. She laid her hand on her stomach and wondered how she'd like to be a mother.
She knew it would be so much hard work and she had no experience with babies, but she knew she couldn't get rid of this baby. It wasn't the baby's fault she and Jack had split up.
She had so worried about telling Jack, however, and she didn't have a clue how she was going to do it.
She walked up to the staffroom, and as she did, started thinking about how awful it must be to lose a baby. She couldn't imagine the pain and she didn't know what on earth the mother of the baby was going through.
She was quite lost in her own thoughts but she tried to snap out of it as she saw Jasmine, Matt and Tom sat down.
" Hey guys," she said, as Matt moved his things off the chair next to him so she could sit beside him, opposite Tom and Jasmine.
Everyone was talking about the discovery and it was inescapable.
Becky couldn't shake off the emotions. Every time anyone spoke about the baby, she thought about her own condition, and how she was going to deal with it.
She could feel her eyes welling up with tears and she cleared her throat, " Excuse me," she said, standing up and shaking her head. She put her lunchbox down on her seat and left the room, just hoping for some kind of peace.
She'd only just gotten into the corridor outside the staffroom when there was a hand on her shoulder.
" Come on," he said, as she turned to look at him, " what's going on? "
She shook her head, folding her arms over her chest and turning to look out of the window, " Just this whole ... dead baby. The whole thing ... I mean a poor innocent baby being found dead. "
Tom mirrored her actions, and they both looked out of the window, side by side.
" I don't know how to cope with it, you know," she told her brother, " It was so ... horrible, so see. " She sighed, " I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose a baby. "
The moment she said it, her eyes widened and she turned to look at him in the sudden realisation that Lorna had once aborted Tom's baby and pretended she'd miscarried, and Izzie had actually miscarried his baby.
" Oh, Tom, I'm so sorry," she said, shaking her head, " I ... I wasn't thinking. Must bring back horrible memories for you too. "
He gave her a weak smile, " Don't worry about it," he said. He turned in to face her and she did the same. He reached out and she accepted his embrace, resting her head against his shoulder.
He rubbed her back, " I feel like an agony aunt today," he said when they broke apart, " I found Davina earlier, almost at breaking point because she struggled to deal with Karla today. Anyway ... back in there, shall we? "
He started towards the staffroom again but as he did so, he frowned.
Something didn't quite sit right. For the first time, he considered that Becky's emotional state might be due to something more than the discovery of the baby. It was almost as if it was closer to home but he couldn't see how she could be.
Then there was this strange sickness. He stopped still, wondered if she might be pregnant. He discarded the thought almost as soon as he'd thought it - she'd have told him, if she was pregnant.
He turned around and saw that she was still looking out of the window, this time her arms wrapped around her body. He frowned - almost as if she was protecting her stomach. He once again discarded that thought - she'd have told him, he was sure of it.
" Becky," Tom said lightly, watching her watch the police dig at the far end of the field, " you'd tell me, wouldn't you, if anything was going on? Because you know you can tell me anything, don't you? "
For a moment she hesitated when she turned around to look at him, and then she nodded, " I know. "
They went back to the staffroom together but Tom still couldn't shake the thought that she wasn't fine - she was still hiding something from him.
Becky had the next hour off timetable too, as Rachel was still covering her lessons so she could try and come up with a new list of girls she could possibly speak to.
In her office, she was pulling files from the shelves as there was a knock at the door.
She turned around to see Janeece and she smiled and motioned for her to come in. When Janeece came in, Becky smiled at her foster daughter's best friend, but the teenage girl looked very worried.
" Everything alright? " she asked .
" Miss, I think I know who's the baby is," Janeece said, her voice all rushed and panicked.
Becky's eyes widened - finally she'd be able to help the poor girl if only she knew who she was. She shook her head and asked, " You do? "
" It's Maxine's," Janeece said.
Becky was completely stunned, and she couldn't even speak for a moment. She shook her head, " You ... it ... it can't be! Maxine would have told me - you know how close we are. "
" But she admitted it to me," Janeece said desperately, " I'm just trying to help her. She's sat outside, round the back of the english block. "
Becky shook her head and ran a hand through her hair.
" Oh ... my god," she sighed, wondering how on earth she was going to deal with this, " well, thanks for telling me, Janeece. I'll go talk to her. "
Janeece nodded, face grave, before she left the office.
Becky couldn't believe what she'd just been told. How on earth was she going to deal with her beloved foster daughter? She couldn't believe this was true and she didn't have a clue how she could deal with this - this was huge. When it came to Maxine, she and Jack had always dealt with her together.
She walked outside, looking for Maxine, supposing that all she had to do was try and comfort her. She found Maxine sitting on the bench exactly where Janeece had said she'd be, and she sighed as she walked over.
She sat down next to Maxine.
" Maxy," she said softly, " Janeece told me - "
" Yeah," nodded Maxine, cutting her off, " it was my baby. "
Becky sighed, quite unable to believe it. She'd spent all day worrying about her own pregnancy and her foster daughter had actually lost a baby. It was so close to home and she didn't know how to deal with it.
She wrapped her arm around Maxine's shoulders and pulled her in close.
Maxine sighed, " You can walk away from me now," she said, " I know you won't want me anymore. "
" How can you say that? " Becky said in shock, " Sweetie, I'm not going to walk away. Oh, why didn't you ever tell me? Or why didn't you ever tell Jack? "
Maxine sniffed, " It was me," she mumbled, " I buried it. "
Becky rubbed her shoulder, " Why? "
Maxine took a deep breath to explain it all, " It was when I was on the streets," she said, " I was out of my head on drugs, didn't have a clue what I was going on. I murdered the baby, Becky. I knew I was pregnant but I kept hoping it'd go away. "
Becky felt a tear slip down her cheek and she ignored it, and Maxine was silently crying too as she spoke.
She continued, " I was living in that burnt out car, always getting wasted, trying to forget about it. I felt the baby coming and I ran to the school, hoping for help and there was no-one around. It was dark and it came out. Already dead. "
There was a pause, while Maxine tried to stop the gathers and collect herself, but she couldn't quite manage it. She sobbed as she spoke, " It didn't cry or nothing. And it was so small. Tiny fingers and toes. "
Becky shook her head as her foster daughter sobbed harder, and she pulled her into a hug. Maxine clung to her tightly.
" I was so desperate," she sniffed, " I didn't know what to do. "
Becky rubbed her back soothingly as she hugged her back, " Sweetie, you've nothing to blame yourself about," she said, " you did nothing wrong. "
Maxine kept clinging to Becky tightly, and Becky hugged her, rocking her slightly from side to side. They stayed like that for a while, and when they broke apart, Becky reached out and took her hand, " Everything's going to be alright, sweetie. "
She stood up and Maxine did too.
Becky put her arm aroud Maxine's shoulders and they slowly walked towards the office. Her arm around Maxine's shoulders, Becky led her towards the office.
When they got to the outer office, Rachel was standing in the doorway talking to Bridget when they got there, and Becky sighed, " I think we've found the mother," she said.
Rachel looked extrememly suprised but her face softened, and she nodded.
Rachel called for Eddie, and when Eddie came, the four of them sat down on the sofa's in Rachel's office. Becky held Maxine's hand as Maxine explained it all to Rachel and Eddie.
When she was finished, there was a short silence until Eddie asked quietly, " Why did you never tell Becky or Jack when they took you in? "
Maxine shook her head, " I was so ashamed. I thought they'd think so much less of me. "
" Maxine, you've been so brave," Rachel said, to which Becky nodded, " and if you can cope with it, I want you to be even braver. I think the girls here need to know your story. "
Maxine shook her head suddenly, eyes widening, " I ... I can't! "
" There's nothing to be ashamed of," Rachel said comfortingly.
" Maxy," Becky said softly, realising that this might be a very good idea, " you don't want anyone else to go through what you did, do you? If we can spare anyone else from - " she broke off not quite sure how to end it, and Rachel took over.
" If we can just make other people more aware," she said.
Eddie left the room all of a sudden, and Becky looked after him. She knew he seemed to have been struggling with today, and Rachel got up and followed him.
While the two were out of the room, Maxine wiped at her face, wiping away the tears and turning to look at Becky.
" Do I have to tell Jack? " she asked.
Becky considered it for a moment - Jack loved Maxine as much as Becky did, and she knew he'd want to help her. " It's entirely your choice," she said.
Maxine sighed, " He should know, shouldn't he? Do you think he'll go mad? I'm seeing him tomorrow. Do I have to tell him? "
Becky winced as she imagined Jack's reaction.
" You know he's only protective because he loves you," Becky said softly. " I think he'd understand if you told him. He ... " she sighed as she started to think about Jack and she knew she was getting into dangerous territory, " he's very good at looking after people when they're upset. "
She sighed, and Rachel came back into the room.
" Am I in trouble? " Maxine asked Rachel fearfully.
Rachel smiled a little then shook her head, " What on earth for? Everyone just wants to help you - there's been no crime commited. "
Becky nodded and stood up. She took Maxine by the hand and pulled her up to her feet, before looking at Rachel. Rachel nodded and the pair of them left the room, going into Becky's office.
Becky gave her some tissue to wipe her eyes and gave her a drink, before she sat down in the middle of the sofa.
" Do you know what you would have called her? " Becky asked, sitting down on the edge of the desk.
" Charlotte," Maxine replied, smiling a little.
Becky nodded, " That's nice," she said, " there's a rose with that name you know. "
There was a knock at the door, and Maxine pulled it open to let her best friend in. Janeece immediately engulfed her friend into a big warm hug. Maxine clung to her and when the hug was over, Janeece rubbed her friend's arm.
" I'm not being cheeky," she said, " but do you know who the dad is? "
It was a question Becky was also curious about though she had a suspicion and she looked at Maxine, who looked very desperate. " I'm not still seeing him," she said, " but he'll go mad - he'll hate me. "
Becky sighed, " He ... he should probably know," she said.
" I can't! " Maxine said, before taking a deep breath, " It's Lewis. "
Becky sighed, thinking about Seddon. She and Jack had managed to get Maxine to stop seeing Seddon pretty quickly after they took her in, though she still saw him around the school and occassionally spoke to him.
" Jack'd kill him if he was here," Becky said, knowing it was true, " I should go see Rachel and Eddie. You two can stay in here, if you want. "
Becky went to the office, where Eddie and Rachel were sat there together. Becky walked into the room slowly - Maxine was obviously so desperate not to tell Lewis, and Becky knew how scared she was.
" Sorry to interrupt," she said, " but I've found out who the dad is. "
" Oh? " Eddie asked.
Becky nodded, " It's Lewis Seddon but she doesn't want to tell him herself - she's terrified of his reaction. Does ... well, does he need to know? "
" Of course he does! " Eddie said.
Becky sighed, " Only, she's so scared of telling him, and well ... "
" Any man has the right to know he's fathered a child, I think," Eddie said. The comment hit home and Becky couldn't help but relate the situation, once again, to herself. She thought about Jack. She was terrified of telling him too - she knew she couldn't keep it secret for long because Maxine would know, and she and Jack shared custody of Maxine.
" You know what," Eddie said, offering her half a smile, " it's ok, I'll do it. "
Becky was quite relieved and she went back to her office. Janeece left when Becky came back in and as Becky wondered how the hell she was going to tell her ex she was pregnant, she reached out to Maxine and pulled her into a hug, hoping it would comfort them both.
They hadn't been alone long when Eddie came into the room, followed by Lewis. From the somber expression on Lewis' face, Eddie had already broke the news to him, and Eddie closed the door after him and stayed in the room, to Becky's relief - she didn't want to be alone with Lewis and Maxine in case anything happened.
" You should have told me Maxine," Lewis said as Maxine turned to face him.
" I was worried how you'd react," she said honestly.
" Like what? " Lewis asked, his voice serious. Becky thought the whole thing was terrible and she didn't quite know what to do about it. She watched the pair of them, wishing things had turned out differently for poor Maxine.
" I don't know," mumbled Maxine, " I'm so sorry. "
" You haven't done anything wrong," Lewis told her, to Becky's relief, " but I'd have looked after the baby, you know. All lads want to be dads, even if they don't admit it. "
Becky sighed at the thought of this, once again thinking about Jack, and wishing there were less reminders of him everywhere she turned. It was painful to think that she and Jack had spoken about having a baby, and they'd agreed they'd try for a baby maybe a few months after they were married.
When Lewis and Eddie had left, Rachel was the next person to come into the room.
She told Maxine that the girls were all ready to listen, and she encouraged Maxine to stay strong. Becky felt rather grateful for Rachel for reaching out to Maxine and being so kind to her.
Becky sat at the back of the room as Maxine delivered her speech to the 6th form. She was sitting beside Tom, with the rest of the staff who were either free or timetables to teach the 6th form at that time.
Becky was so proud of her girl for giving her speech, standing strong and bravely giving her story. She listened as Maxine recounted her story and she felt so sorry for her, but so proud of her.
Everyone was transfixed as they listened, and the one thing that caught Becky's attention the most was when Maxine pointed out that all she had to do was tell someone.
When Maxine said that, Becky thought about her own situation and glanced in Tom's direction.
He looked at her just as she looked away and for a moment he didn't think about it, but then he started to wonder again, just like he had earlier in the day, about what might be wrong with her.
He started to wonder if she was pregnant again, but he couldn't believe it. She'd have told him, he knew it.
When Maxine had finished, everyone was silent and they broke into a loud round of applause for her. Maxine made her way to the back of the room and Becky smiled and pulled her into a hug as Rachel dismissed everyone else. As Becky hugged Maxine, Tom smiled fondly at the girl and rubbed her back soothingly - he wasn't as close to Maxine as Becky was of course, but Maxine was his sister's foster daughter and his own step-daughter's friend.
Becky was quite relieved to go home at the end of the day.
She made Maxine some tea, and afterwards the pair of them went into the living room, where they stuck on a dvd.
" Ok," Becky said, handing Maxine a box of quality street she'd bought a few days ago, " How about I make you a deal," she said, " we'll find a way to remember baby Charlotte, as long as you never mention that that would have made me kind of a grandmother at the grand old age of 29. "
Maxine smiled, " Deal. "
