Fandom: Phantom of the Opera
Disclaimer
: Please don't sue. I don't own *insert fandom name from above*... All I own is an overactive imagination.
Summary: A songfic chronicling Erik and Raoul's relationship. Angst.
Warning(s): slash, abusive relationship, OC char deaths (not important ones is what that means), sex
Pairing(s)
: Erik/Raoul
Word Count: 1,986

A/N: I think the fanmix is still available for download (check out my profile or blogs). If it's not, just ask me and I'll upload it again.
Story note: Continued from the previous chapter (as most stories work ;D).

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Gallery Piece
By: Lucifer Rosemaunt

Chapter 12 – You see that sculpture on the hill?

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you see that sculpture on the hill? (roof)
that's where she queered me out, forever
they're monitoring my subconscious massacres i know,
bringing it closer to the surface so it's easily pervertible

It was a surprise when Erik reached for his hand in a non-violent manner. His actions often demonstrated his emotions better than his expressions or tone of voice. However, when Erik started to walk towards the main opera house again, Raoul staunchly refused to move.

Erik stopped as well, fighting against the urge to simply drag him along. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Raoul couldn't be sure this wasn't some sort of ruse to get him to lower his guard.

Erik squeezed his hand and pointedly pulled out the hidden lasso Raoul had known he'd had before dropping it to the floor. "Trust me."

Raoul half-heartedly glared at him – as though he could say no to that. Well, he could, but despite the fear and doubts, Raoul did trust Erik. He trusted him enough to know that any betrayal would still be a surprise and it would be his own fault for not protecting himself better. So, he let Erik lead him through the passageways, and they climbed ever higher.

Through it all, Erik kept a firm hold on his hand. Raoul barely paid attention to the path they were taking; he was so intent on that connection they shared. It seemed so simple sometimes. All you had to do was reach out and hold the hand of the person you cared about to bridge the distance that inevitably existed between two people. All he had to do was clasp Erik's hand and their past, the deceit, the uncertainty, and all of the hurt from the past could never come between them again. All he had to do was never let go.

He shut his eyes in a wince when they exited the darkness of the tunnels into the afternoon sun as it shone on the roof of the Opera Populaire. "Erik?"

"There is something you have not understood. And I am to blame for that," he sounded distant, and Raoul wanted to hold his hand tighter. But, Erik let go of his hand then, and Raoul was forced to watch him walk slowly but purposefully away from him. He clenched his suddenly empty hand. No, Erik was not walking away from him; he was only walking to the angel statue standing prominently in the corner.

Raoul didn't have many good memories of this place. They should have been good memories; after all, he'd proposed to Christine and she had agreed. Even more than a year later though, he couldn't help but ache, a phantom pain for a long since healed wound. It wasn't as though he was not pleased with how his life, their lives, had changed. He loved Erik enough that his love for Christine actually paled in comparison, but it did not stop the memories from rising, the memories of a time when his life had fallen apart at the seams and he'd been unable to do anything but watch it happen.

Staring at the unfeeling angel, Erik was not quite certain where or how to begin. There was a reason he never spoke of this to Raoul. He was not certain the proper words existed to verbalize what he needed to explain. "Christine is able of manipulation."

"She was mad," Raoul was quick to defend. He had to raise his voice to make certain Erik could hear him, so he moved closer before adding softer, "and hurt." He had unintentionally hurt her again, and Raoul had long ago made the promise to himself that he wouldn't. So if anything, he was to blame for the rumours that had spread. It had been his decision after all, for selfish reasons, that she had needed to know about them. He should have never told her. He could barely even remember how he'd convinced himself that it was a good idea to begin with. All he remembered now was the tears.

She'd had suspicions. How could she not after the kissing debacle? But, Raoul had been adamantly against confirming or denying anything. He was rather adept at guiding the conversation away from such topics, and he was certain she hadn't really wanted to know. They barely spoke to each other anymore, could only be loosely considered friends. Raoul was ashamed to admit that it was he who had created that distance.

That's what it had been. Raoul had wanted them to be closer. Nostalgia for Little Lotte and dark stories of the North, nostalgia for the closeness of that type of friendship had spurred him onward.

He'd been babbling and hinting about their relationship while Christine had frowned; then, there had been that moment when he'd said the rather blunt words of 'Erik and I are in love' before the tears had started. Yes, the hurt was his fault. Her subsequent actions had only stemmed from that.

Erik tensed, his gaze shifted immediately from the angel statue to him. "She has no claim on me or you, Raoul. There is no reason for her to be hurt."

"She loved you," Raoul said, confused. "How could she not be hurt? If I hadn't come, then you both would have…"

Erik laughed. It wasn't mocking; rather, it sounded akin to fond exasperation. He pulled Raoul in for a quick hug and when he was released, Erik made certain they were still close.

Raoul had a feeling he was being patronized. "What?"

"Our relationship had been complicated long before you came to be my patron." At Raoul's disbelieving silence, Erik continued slowly, trying to put to words a concept he never truly let himself ponder. "Before you, it had been easier, certainly. It had been easier for her to believe and for me to do the same."

"Believe what?" Raoul asked, wondering if he should pull away long enough to properly look at him. Erik still had a habit of holding him close; it had taken a while before Raoul had realized it was because Erik, in some way, still felt uncomfortable when he saw his face.

"After you," Erik stated, words struggling to come out, "what was between us was forced to be concrete." He focused on the angel statue again, lost in memories he hadn't revisited in such a long time. "The less abstract our relationship became, the more difficult it became to understand." He gained momentum because now it was so clear to him. It was clear just how perverted their relationship had been. "Angel, tutor, friend, father. At times all, at times none. And after I'd taken her, it was further complicated." He shook his head then, glancing down at the blond in his arms. "Your engagement. There while I hid behind the angel…"

And this time, Raoul turned his attention to the statue. He'd learned that Erik had been there and it hadn't been a revelation. The ghost was everywhere in the opera house; the roof was hardly exempt.

"You were bound to love her, of course. The ease with which she could dismiss what we had, however, only highlighted what little hope there was for us."

Raoul frowned, feeling for him – hurt for the pain he'd inadvertently caused again. However, he was still a little doubtful of her culpability. "She was confused."

"Confused and engaged rather negate each other," Erik replied dryly. The anger had gone away. How could he remain angry when he had Raoul and he knew that he and Christine would have never truly worked? He could not help the bitterness though. Looking away from Raoul so that the younger man would not think the emotion was directed at him, he added, "You cannot be confused and so wholeheartedly commit yourself to another relationship."

Raoul cradled Erik's face in his hands so that he wouldn't be able to look away, "I…"

Erik placed his hands atop Raoul's before turning to place a kiss on each palm. He shook his head to quiet Raoul. "And after your engagement, she still wavered, trying to return to the abstract after she'd finally set the true distance between us. I drew her to me almost as easily as she drew me. And she did," Erik asserted, making certain that Raoul understood, "She knew I needed her and it was an easy thing for her to use that weakness against me. So, she let herself be drawn, let herself believe the lies to get closer even though she knew in the end she would return to you. She wanted to have us both. She is selfish to want us both and yet not be able to give herself completely."

The inadequacy of his discourse frustrated him. How could he put into words his own weakness? How could he tell Raoul that until the moment he swore revenge upon them both, he'd still loved her? There had always been a certain amount of pain in the chase. It had hurt to want her, but she'd wanted his attention, needed him as much as he'd needed her, and that had been enough at the time. It had been enough to be equally broken, thinking that in some way they could heal each other.

"She is no saint," Erik ended, hoping that Raoul would understand what remained unspoken.

Raoul tried to let all that information sink in. Could Christine truly be that manipulative? He rather hoped that she had not meant to hurt Erik the way she did, but he remembered the way she spoke of the opera ghost back then. He remembered the times she practically offered herself to the ghost, almost declaring reciprocating affection in the same breath that she cursed him, and it was difficult to explain it all away.

The expression on Erik's face was so unguarded and vulnerable that Raoul wished they had never started this conversation to begin with. They had an unspoken agreement to not speak of the past. There was little it held that they wanted to experience again, but here Erik was willingly sharing it, reliving it. There could be no lies in his account, and Raoul refused to let that effort go to waste. He needed to stop defending her. He would stop because doing so was at the expense of the man before him now. Whatever her motivations, whatever pain she was experiencing now that the truth of their relationship was made clear, the fact was that she had sought to hurt them in return. Her words and actions had harmed them both and she'd not only tried to hide her fault from them, but had also failed to make recompense for her acts.

"All right." Even as Raoul stepped back in order to better look Erik in the face, he made sure to take hold of one of Erik's hands, entwining their fingers together, grasping it with every intent to never let go.

Erik glanced at their hands. "All right?"

"I will stop defending her actions." Raoul lifted his head, voice firm. "She…" He shook his head, uncertain as to how to finish that sentence.

Erik smirked triumphantly, though he was mostly just relieved that Raoul understood. "She is not worth your pity."

"You have to stop trying to kill her though." Raoul narrowed his eyes at him.

Frowning at that, Erik paused. She deserved to die, but Raoul would never forgive him if he did kill her.

"Promise me," Raoul ordered, and Erik knew that if they hadn't been holding hands, Raoul would have crossed his arms and leveled him with that expectant gaze.

"I promise, my love," he replied somberly and squeezed Raoul's hand.

Raoul still eyed him, and Erik wondered if he should have pretended to think about it longer or to have been more reluctant. After a moment though, Raoul nodded, giving a returning squeeze of his hand. "Let's go back inside and forget all about her."

Erik followed him obediently, but his mind was already listing the ways he could harm Christine without technically breaking his promise to Raoul.

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End chapter 12

A/N: Don't forget to R/R (Read and Review)!
Chapter Review: Like Erik's going to really stop trying to hurt her after what she's done.