EVELYN
-OSTAGAR


Within due time, Alistair and I had been successful in finding Daveth and Ser Jory, the other recruits. Daveth had been trying to flirt with some nameless Ostagar soldier, but she was putting him off faster than I might have were I in the same situation. Ser Jory was standing about, when we found him, and blabbering on about how 'suspicious' the Joining was. Fairly annoying was he, but I found that ignoring more than one person was getting easier by the minute.

After finding the recruits, we had gone back to Duncan and he had instructed us that we needed to go into the Wilds and find three vials of darkspawn blood, along with a Grey Warden cache. The Wilds had been bursting with animation, monsters and rabid animals at every corner. The beasts had put up quite the battle, but they had been nothing compared to the darkspawn.

Alistair and I had charged the first darkspawn: an emissary, our blades drawn and shields extended. Once close to the darkspawn, I froze. Alistair had kept slashing at the beast, but my hands were quivering. Had there been a hex, I thought. No, there wasn't a hex when I was standing there, analyzing the monster in all of its gory glory. I had noticed the putrid odor it put off, and that had made my nose wrinkle and a headache blossom through my skull. I had also noticed the rage and brutish qualities within its eyes. Blood and scales and horns adorned the creature as it spent spells at Alistair, who was getting pretty beat by doing it alone.

It had been Alistair's cry for help that rescued me from my trance. I had looked over to see him on his knees and the Emissary whirling up an ice spell in its palms. I dove forward and stabbed the creature's eye, thus ending its wrath and killing it. Alistair had looked up at me, a mask of annoyance on his face. "Thanks for helping me with that Emissary." He had said sarcastically (but it hadn't registered to me), bending down and filling a vial with darkspawn blood. At that moment I did realize how horrible these things were. They were merciless. They had no emotions, no thoughts...just killing.

The rest we found to be easy, if you forgot about their horrid features and spine-tingling horror. A few darkspawn in groups that weren't too bad to peel off. The next challenge, we found, had been when we found the cache to be broken and empty. Alistair was surprised, and Daveth was a tracking sort of person, so he had knelt in front of the cache and investigated it. Then, we had found Morrigan. Or rather, she found us.
With crude comments, Morrigan investigated us and revealed that it was her mother who had taken the documents. Alistair, Jory and Daveth were reluctant to follow the Witch, but at that point I couldn't care less who was a witch and who was a friend. "If you wish to stay and let the darkspawn eat you, be my guest." I had said. "I however, plan to follow Morrigan and get the documents, like Duncan tasked us with."

Needless to say, Alistsair was encouraged by my comment and agreed to go. Daveth and Jory just followed Alistair (Thanks fellows, for all the lack of following. I don't mind, really. It just feels nice to get upset at them for something, instead of liking that they don't let me lead them).
We had received the documents with ease from Morrigan's mother, the infamous Flemeth. She hadn't looked like the Witch of legends, but then again nothing was really as it seemed now a days. People were betraying each other left and right and killing right and left. It was beginning to seem that nothing would surprise me. Not after...

Flemeth gave cryptic advice to us, and then sent Morrigan to lead us back to the Ostagar camp. Daveth wasn't so keen on leaving Morrigan, in her near naked attire, but with a simple slap to the head from myself, he was set straight.

Now, we stand and wait in the ruins where I had found Alistair earlier that day. Night has fallen and crickets chirp in the distance. The nighttime summer breeze ruffles our hairs as we impatiently pace and wait for Duncan to arrive. Alistair stands, guard-like, and tells us not to worry, but I worry. Something shrouded in so much mystery has to be enough to worry about. Yet, as nervous as I am, I'm not blabbering like Jory or Daveth. "I swear," I mumble. "I'm braver than the lot of you and I'm the woman."

"At last, time has come for the Joining to begin." I think we all jump when Duncan's deep voice rumbles from behind us. I take relaxation from the sight of Duncan. I've begun, after the intense hatred from the trip from Home to here, care for the old 'rag'. He's nice, there's not doubt about it, and a worthwhile mentor for when us Grey Wardens really become...Grey Wardens. I'm not so worried now. "During the first Blight, the Grey Wardens were founded when humanity was on the verge of annihilation. As knowledge tells us, that was when the first Grey Wardens drank the blood of darkspawn and mastered their taint."

My blood runs cold. Drink? We're supposed to drink the blighted monsters!? I run my hands through my hair, the nerves now growing present again. Now Duncan can't help me here.

"We're going to drink the blood of those...creatures?" Ser Jory breathes, his eyes widening in fear. Oh, slam it cake face. The last thing I want is a vile description of how this process works, so he really shouldn't ask questions.

"So did the first Wardens, and those before you. This is the source of our power; our strength and our immunity to the Taint." Duncan explains.
Alistair adds his brilliant bit of dialogue, just as I've nearly forgotten he's there. "Not only does it give you immunity to the Taint, but it enables those who survive to sense the darkspawn and use this ability to slay the Archdemon." Well, there's a bit of joy in this, isn't there? We can defeat the great Archdemon, but only us, because otherwise the hero will contract the Taint and die a horrible death. What a great weight upon our shoulders (sarcasm, relevant and needed in a stressful event as this)! A worthwhile investment, no doubt. In fact, it sounds too good to be true. Too many pluses and not enough cons means that there is something they are hiding from us.

I clap my hands in front of me, shaking off my nerves. "Well, enough blathering and wasting time...Let's get on with this!" My voice wavers but I keep it strong. I have to be strong- I have to be strong.

"Wait, wait, wait," Daveth interrupts, throwing up a hand. "Those who survive? Are you saying some of us won't make it, then?"

Duncan sighs, but nods. Oh, shit. I didn't notice that part. "I will not lie...surviving the Taint is a...dangerous process. The effect that it does on your body may cause it to shutdown, or survive through the torment. However, those who survive are forever changed. The risk of death...this is the reason why we keep the Joining a secret." I curse under my breath and tilt my head down, letting my hair fall in front of my face. I might die. While most would be scared of dying, I find it a relief. If I die, I can be with my family. I can be with Mother and Father. I can be with my sister.

"We speak a few words prior to the Joining. These have been said since the first. Alistair, if you would?" Duncan asks and Alistair nods. He switches footing, and with a solemn expression, looks to the ground with his hands behind his back.

"Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish," My eyes travel to the Joining chalice that is sitting on the table. "know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day, we shall join you."

In that moment, as Alistair looks up with that...gut-wrenching look in his eyes, I realize that this man isn't all fun and games. Alistair has...seen things. I've no doubt that whatever marked him to become a Warden has changed him for an eternity. Whatever past he's had...it must have been rough. I don't know how I know this, but I do. I've seen that look. I've seen it when I stare at my reflection. We lock eyes and I nod once at him, a ghost of a smile on my lips. Alistair looks away and my heart sinks. Poor thing.

I sigh as I turn to Duncan. He has the chalice in his hands and is approaching Daveth. I step back and watch from a distance, as Jory does. "Daveth, step forward." Daveth steps forward and Duncan hands him the cup. I watch the nerves in his hand twitch as he brings the cup to his mouth, whispers something, and then takes a swig of the blood. When he pulls the cup down, a bit of the blackened red blood spills out of his mouth and I cringe. But then, I realize it isn't darkspawn blood. It's his blood.

Duncan takes the chalice and Daveth takes a few steps back. He seems alright, but my eyes never leave the blood that trails down his face. But then, he begins to sway. Daveth gasps, blinking his eyes. He clutches his head, beginning to scream in pain. Daveth tightens as he screams and sways, nearly falling to the ground. Then, he looks up and causes a shiver to run through my spine. His eyes are white - no pupil or iris. He stares up, his mouth open in a scream, but no sound comes out. Oh, Maker.

Daveth's eyes begin to bleed, at that moment. It runs in rivers, like tears, down his face and dribbles down his cheek. Then, his nose begins to bleed. Then, his ears. "Maker preserve us!" Jory shouts as Daveth screams again. Daveth clutches at his throat as gasps for air. He claws at his neck as if something is constricting it. He then crumples to the ground and is still.

"I am sorry, Daveth." Duncan says. Do I detect a hint of remorse? Or, no, is it just a ruse? Does Duncan act like he care, or does he genuinely care on whether or not the recruits make it? At this point, I can barely tell.

I can't even think. I can't comprehend and I can't...anything. Everyone is dying. The images flash of my parents as they stare at death, Evelina heading to her chamber, everyone together in Fergus's room as we all say goodbye. I can't hold. I can't...

"Step forward, Jory." Duncan turns to Ser Jory now, like a statue might. Jory chokes back a sob, pulling out his blade.

"B-But, I have a wife! A child on the way! Had I known..." Jory whispers as he points his blade at Duncan. I sigh.

"Jory...just..." I don't know what to say, or why I say it. He looks me in the eye and I see sadness, this time from someone else. I see the fear in losing those you love. I see myself all those nights ago...again.

"There is no turning back." Duncan says, quietly, as he slowly approaches Jory. With a spare hand, Duncan grabs for one of his blades on his back. Duncan never loses eye contact with Jory has he places the chalice on stone table beside him.

"No! I can't...not like this! I'll just leave...I won't tell anyone about this! I promise. Just..let me GO!" Jory screams and lunges at Duncan. Duncan sidesteps the stab and slices downward at Jory. Jory misses and gives another stab at Duncan. The older man is faster than Ser Jory, and Duncan stabs his blade into Ser Jory's gut. He holds Jory by the shoulders as he sinks the blade deeper, and then twists. Blood waterfalls out of Jory's mouth as he gives empty gasps for air.

"But the Joining is not yet complete." Duncan suddenly says as he drops his bloody dagger on the table and grabs for the Chalice. Jory holds his stomach, falling to his knees, and then eventually onto his face. My mouth is caught open, and I even catch Alistair in the background with a bewildered expression on his face. Duncan approaches me, and I instinctively take a step back.

"I guess backing out is not an option." I joke, giving a dry laugh as I look over at Jory's body. I'm so going to die a horrible death for making a joke like that.

"No, it isn't. Either you are in, or you are out. Make your choice." Duncan says, but I know I can't back out. I've already gotten so far. I've survived the attack on my family and made it to becoming a Grey Warden. If anybody should be proud, it should be me. I swear I can hear Evelina in my head being jealous of me, but still being proud.

"I'm in. I was never out." I say and snatch the cup from Duncan. I slowly raise the chalice to my lips, take a deep breath, and let the hot, viscous fluid dribble into my mouth. It burns a bit, but tastes like spice. Not the good kind, at all. It slides down my throat, with difficulty, and begins its work. The Taint sets in, sending spikes of pain and even worse pain through my spine and head. The headache stretches in a band across my forehead, less like a regular headache and more like someone is pounding a red hot hammer into my brain. I grab for my hair, pulling it as I scream out. My vision is clouding with red. Oh, no. I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'mgoingtodie. But, just then, the red fades to white and I look up. The sun seems to blare into my retinas, even though it is the dead of night. Then, the white slowly fades to black, and everything goes numb.

"From this moment forth...You are a Grey Warden."


The massive dragon is perched on a high perch, looking down upon the darkspawn that it commands. It roars once, twice and then a final long and hollow sounding screech. I stand from a distance, letting the wave of heat from its fiery mouth dive down the mountain, roll over the darkspawn and warm my face. It feels like a day of basking in the sun, but all in a matter of seconds. The archdemon, I know that is what it is, looks over the horde, that is until it's slitted eye falls on me. It shouldn't see me. It...I know it shouldn't be looking at me directly. The archdemon roars, and it's neck leans forward. It almost looks like it is going to come close enough to breathe into my face. Then, the darkspawn all turn to me, and all of the eyes are on me.

"Evelyn!"

My breath jumps into my throat and everything comes back into focus at once. I gasp, lurching upward and clutching at my heart. I look around, wheezing for air. Kneeling beside me is Alistair and Duncan. Alistair hands me a small flask and I grab it, greedily drinking at the water. It runs down my throat and tries to fix the horrible damage that was done to it by the darkspawn blood. I finish it quickly, letting the water dribble down my chin a bit as well. Alistair takes the flask back and gives me a sympathetic look.

"It is finished; welcome...How do you fare?" Duncan asks. I let my breathing and heart-rate slow a bit before answering him with a harsh glare.

"Just brilliant." I seethe, grabbing at my head. The headache is still strong, and pounding away. "Would you be a strawberry and help me up, Alistair? My head is pounding and I don't think I'll be able to stand by myself, yet." I say and Alistair nods, a bit perplexed at my wording.

"Strawberry?" He laughs. I shrug as we stand.

"Don't ask. I'm in pain, and pain tends to make me giddy. It'll only be this way for a minute, so don't get comfortable." I grumble, which makes Alistair laugh again. Firing a glare shuts him down for a moment, but he only laughs harder after that. My grip tightens on his arm, half on purpose and half because I'm unsteady. My legs feel like running water in a jelly casing.

"You know, I'm glad at least one of you made it. In my Joining, only one of us died. But it was so...horrible." Alistair says, his face falling once again. Can't he stay happy? But, oh, isn't that so hypocrital of myself! I wasn't able to stay happy before. Now I've deformed into this somewhat likable but horrible demeanor. I can't change it, sadly. I guess I shouldn't ask any more of Alistair.

"Many of us have died, and many will in the future. Sadly, this is how the Grey Warden ways are. The few deaths that occur in the Joining pale in comparison to that of the casualties from a darkspawn invasion. Be proud you are now of the great order, Evelyn." Duncan smiles at me and grabs my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. I give a shaky smile, not all that proud at the moment. I don't feel...any different really. The only change was that beginning change with the Taint, and all of the pain that went through it. Now, I feel the same. I feel like regular old orphaned Evelyn.

"Very proud." I remark as I massage my temples. I can't get the image of Jory being stabbed by Duncan out of my head. I can't get Daveth's bleeding features out of my mind, either.

"Did you have any dreams?" I look over at Alistair. "I had terrible dreams after my Joining."

Duncan nods in agreement with Alistair's memory or memoir or whatever the hell reasoning was behind that. "Such is a side-effect of beginning to sense the darkspawn, and they will not rest. Many more will come, and explanations for it all will be introduced to you in the months to come."

So, there's one of the mighty cons to being a Grey Warden. You get horrible nightmares, which I'm pretty sure are heightened when there is a Blight (as Evelina told me from a few of her readings). I shrug, crossing my arms and standing on my own. With difficulty, I sway only a little bit.
Alistair makes a noise and shuffles in a pouch wrapped around his belt. "Oh, before I forget! As a last part to your Joining, we take a bit of the blood and put it in a pendant...to remind us of...those who didn't make it this far." He hands me the pendant and I take it in my hands. The pendant is heavy, which is strange for such a small object. When I touch it, the coolness of the metal only extends to the center, because after that it's so warm. It isn't like a fire, but more like the warmth of existence and being alive. It's as if the pendant is alive!

"Take your time to heal a bit. When you are ready, I request that you join me in a meeting with the King." Duncan gestures to the meeting down a bit from the raised platform that we stand in. I can see the glittering, gold armor of King Cailan and the silver and black color scheme of Teyrn Loghain, who I'm a bit usurped to see. I've seen Cailan, maybe once when we were little, but I don't think I've seen much of the Teyrn. I've heard many stories, especially of how he became the Hero of River Dane and so on and so forth. With a face like his, however, he just seems...destined for trouble.

Funny. Mother used to tell Evelina and me that. We'd be running around the Castle, giggling and causing trouble. She never knew, until we'd give her this face...a look that screamed that we were guilty. 'Nice try you two, but by pleading with those puppy dog eyes, I really know you're guilty. Now go and help Nan clean your mess.' Now, I'll never hear her say that, or any phrases like it, again.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts, looking back at Duncan. I clench my fists to stop the tears in their tracks. They will not fall. I will be strong. "I'm fine. Let's go now." I brush past Alistair, nearly stumbling and falling again.

"Are you sure? Usually it takes an hour or so to get back on your feet...?" Alistair says but I wave a hand, trying not to throw my balance off.
"I said I'm fine!" I snap and continue on.

(A/N- some changes to the original Joining, but shhh. Artistic liscense. If that works here...?)