Disclaimer and Notes: I do not own Blue Bloods only Joey and Lila Reagan. I do not own Craig Morgan's song, Tough.
Chapter Twelve
"Jamie, I don't want to do this," Eddie said for the tenth time since leaving their house. She'd spent a week in bed resting and recovering her strength. The day before she had an appointment with the oncologist and was cleared to be operated on the following Friday. Today, Jamie was driving her up to her father's house in Westchester to tell him about the cancer.
"I know, honey. I do, but you will regret this if you don't do it," Jamie sympathized. "I will be there with you the entire time. When we came to visit last year, he was really nice to you."
Jamie turned the car towards Peter Janko's road. "We tell him and if you want to go right after, we can go. Erin was taking the kids to the zoo today so they won't be home until at least seven."
Eddie nodded and leaned her head against the window. Since her father was released from jail, she only visited him once or twice a year. It was very hard on her, spending time with him, having never gotten over the disappointment his betrayal had caused her. "He's going to act all concerned and upset…but if he really gave a damn about me he'd never have done what he did. It always comes back to that Jamie."
"I know it does, but he is your father. You are sick and he has a right to know. He doesn't have a right to interfere in your treatment plan or force his presence on you if you don't wish it. I will make sure that doesn't happen." Jamie stopped the car and shut off the engine. "You ready?"
"As I'll ever be," Eddie replied getting out of the car. Jamie walked about and put his arm around her, snuggling her to his side as they approach the house.
Peter had not aged well, he walked with a limp, used a cane and looked ten years older than he was. The ravages of prison life. When he opened the door he looked around, "Where are the little ones?"
"We didn't bring them this time, Peter," Jamie replied. "This really isn't a social call." Peter moved back and let them inside. He had tea and cookies set out on the table and two sippy cups for the kids. "I guess I can put these away," he said to himself more than anything else.
"Joey is seven, he doesn't need a sippy cup," Eddie replied quickly before Jamie's look shushed her.
"Well since I never see him," Peter began to argue but Jamie stood up.
"This is not the time for this, Peter I promise in a few weeks I'll bring the kids up to see you if Eddie isn't up to it." Jamie hoped that would spark Peter's attention.
"Why wouldn't you be up to coming see your father, Edit?" he asked sitting down and taking a cookie.
Eddie reached for Jamie's hand, "I can't do this…" she whispered.
"Yes, you can. You handled all of the early stuff on your own, you have always had incredible strength…You can do this." Jamie gave her a kiss and squeezed her hands.
"What is this all about?" Peter asked getting nervous. "Edit, tell me what is going on now."
Eddie took a deep breath and holding tight to Jamie's hand said, "Dad, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am having a mastectomy next week."
Peter's face went white at his daughter's words. "Oh sweet God," he gasped. "Oh, Edit, I am so sorry. Are you going to be all right?"
"Eddie's going to have an operation next week, they're going to remove her breast and the nodes around it then she'll have chemo or radiation or maybe both. I promised her and I will promise you, I will be there with her and for her every step of the way." Jamie kissed the back of Eddie's hand lightly.
"Well I want to help too, whatever you need," Peter said getting up and going to his daughter. "No matter what you think, I love you, Edit. You are my only baby."
Eddie let her father give her a loose hug, "I'm going to be okay, Dad. I have the best doctors and hospitals in New York. Jamie's sister in law is a nurse and she's going to come over and help out when I need it."
"I want to come and see you, Edit," Peter said firmly. "After this operation, I want to come and see you."
Eddie stood up and started to pace, she was very uncomfortable with the idea of anyone seeing her after the operation, even Jamie. "After a few days, Jamie will let you know when I am feeling up to it. And I'm sure he'll call after it's over."
"Of course, I will call or my dad. We won't leave you in the dark, Peter. I understand what it is, if this was my Lila facing this…I don't think I could take it as well as you are taking it now." Jamie put a supportive hand on Peter's arm. "Why don't we have some tea? I have some pictures on my phone of the kids. Joey is playing in a big exhibition game for his football camp in three weeks, why don't we arrange for you to get a car and come down and watch him?" Jamie showed him pictures of Joey in his football uniform and one of Joey, Eddie, and Lila on the couch at home.
"How are the children coping?" Peter asked.
Eddie sipped her tea, "Well, Lila, she doesn't understand much, she just knows that we've all been a little sad so she's reacting to that. Joey's having a hard time. He has bad dreams, he's very attached to us both even when it's time to go to his grandpa's or his uncle's house. Jamie talks to him each night, he won't open up to me."
That was as much as Eddie had opened up to her father in years.
"I know how that feels," Peter said softly, unable to resist.
"I really do not need this now, Dad, I don't…" Eddie said sharply. "Jamie, I think it's time that we go."
"We're not going to go like this," he replied. "Until recently Joey has opened up to Eddie, I think it's because she's sick he thinks if he does he will upset her. I'm going to talk to him. Honestly you two drive me crazy, Peter your daughter has cancer and you are still taking shots. Eddie, as much as I hate to admit it, you might not have all the time in the world anymore to have a relationship with your dad. I, for one, don't want to add to anymore stress and strain to this situation. Heaven forbid, you don't beat this thing Eddie…Is it worth the regrets? Fix it now, Eddie. I mean it."
He left them to talk for fifteen minutes until he heard Eddie crying. That was one thing he would not stand for from anyone. "Eddie?" Jamie hurried to her side. "Peter, what happened?"
"We just were talking about Edit's Mom, and how she passed, I though Edit had the right to know so she can tell her doctor. Her mother had breast cancer too. Edit though she died of heart trouble."
Jamie put his arms around his wife, "I'm sorry, Jamie. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry…"
Now she knew what it felt like when you were lied to about someone you loved even more than before. "Please forgive me, Jamie. Please."
"Ssh, ssh. I already have, baby. I already have." Jamie held her tight and kissed her lips. "It's okay, we talked all that out. It's okay." He held is trembling wife in his arms for another few minutes. "Thank you, Peter for telling Eddie the truth, we will be sure he doctors know this. I'm going to take her home now, she's been ill and she still needs a lot of rest to be strong for her surgery."
Peter hugged his daughter again, "I love you, Edit."
Jamie led her out of the house. "That wasn't so bad, until the end." He knew why she was so upset. His mother and her own mother died of the same illness. "I know it's hard to hear and I know it is terribly frightening but they are gone a long time the medication is so much better now."
Eddie nodded, "Can we go home? I'm very tired and I just want to lie down with you and wait for our kids."
Jamie took Eddie home and she lay on the couch. When the kids got home they watched TV and played Go Fish. Family time was becoming more and more important to them.
The week dragged. Jamie was working on and off on Harper's case with Gordo when he wasn't taking Eddie to appointments for her pre hospital admission tests. On Wednesday, Jamie and Eddie were having lunch at their favorite Chinese place when Eddie's phone rang, "Joey's school," she told Jamie before answering. She listened the gasped, "Joey did what? My husband and I are both on our way…No, no he's not allergic to any ointments or creams."
Jamie looked up concerned, "What happened?"
"Joey got in a fight at school with a fifth grader," she replied. "They are both at the nurse, Joey really did some damage but he's got a cut lip and is of course inconsolable."
"Let's go," Jamie replied. He threw a twenty on the table and sped off to Joey's school. Eddie went to the nurse to check on their boy while Jamie headed for the Principal. "Father Murray," he greeted. "I'm Jamison Reagan, Joe's Dad."
They two men shook hands. "I'm sorry if Joe was out of line today. His mother was just diagnosed with cancer and he's been having very hard time dealing with that. Did he start the fight?"
"I'm not sure if it was provoked by words but Joseph, according to three other children, ran at William and punched him in the stomach several times. William pushed Joseph and he cut his lip and cheek on the side of a desk. Then Joseph scratched William across the face."
Jamie sighed, "Of course my wife and I will speak to him and he will be appropriately punished, Father."
"I'm afraid Joseph will be suspended for two days for fighting and it will go on his record."
Jamie sat up straighter, there was no way he was going to allow that. His dad might never have stepped in to stop things like this for them growing up but that was one thing he swore he would do for his kids. He was their father and he was going to protect his kids. "Father, is there a way to keep it off is record? He is a little boy that is terribly scared for his mother and trying so hard to be brave about it. Punish him, suspend him, but it's not fair this follows him until college, not under these circumstances." Jamie set his jaw in an expression that said firmly, "Do not mess with my boy."
The secretary buzzed that Mrs. Reagan and her son were outside. "Send them in," Father Murray requested.
Joey's face was cut and he was still in tears. "Come here, little man," Jamie instructed. "Are you all right?" He held his son tight in his arms.
"Maybe he'll talk to you, Jamie. He won't talk to me," Eddie sighs. "I'm so sorry, Father. This is my fault, I should have seen it."
"Mrs. Reagan, the prayers of this entire school are with you," Father Murray replied. "Mr. Reagan, I agree that Joseph should not be marred by this one lapse in seven year old judgment. I will not make an entry to his permanent record unless he acts out again."
Jamie signed the required papers and took Joey and Eddie home. He asked Linda to get Lila from her Pre-K class so that he and Eddie could deal with Joey alone.
Jamie sat Joey down as soon as they got him, "Joe, I want you to be a big brave boy now and tell me and Mommy what happened today. We promise to listen to you and not yell, but we may punish you if we think you acted without a good reason."
Joey took a deep breath, "We did special prayers in assembly today and I raised my hand. Sister called on me and I said to pray for my Mommy cause she was getting an operation to get rid of her cancer."
Eddie was touched, "Oh, Joey…that was so sweet. But how did that cause the fight?"
"After I heard Billy saying I was stupid if I thought a prayer could do anything that when you get cancer you die…" Joey began to cry. "But that's a lie cause Daddy said so, he told a lie about you Mommy!" Joey surprised Eddie by running to her to cry his tears. He hadn't done that since the hospital.
Eddie put her son on her lap and rocked him, "Joey…some people that get what I have, that get cancer, the get all better again. And other people don't baby. Some of the people that get cancer do go to Heaven." Eddie looked at Jamie with big wet eyes. He little boy was in so much pain.
"Not you, Mommy. You aren't going to Heaven…" If the force of his faith was enough…
"I hope not, Joey," Eddie coos to him. "I hope not. Mommy is going to try so very hard not to leave you baby…I love you so much."
Eddie lowered her face into Joey's fine hair and sobbed. Jamie fought his own emotions as he wrapped them both in his arms holding them close. "Joey, remember what Daddy said. Love is the best medicine in the entire world."
Joey nodded his head, "I'm sorry I fought but I was so mad."
Jamie tousled his hair, "Sometimes you have to stand up for what you think is right. Just don't do it in school anymore, all right? Go wash your face and get into your house clothes. Lila will be home soon and we have to help you pack for grandpa's house tomorrow."
Joey went off to obey his father, wiping his eyes. Jamie let him off easy for the fighting, the little guy thought he was defending his mother. Jamie couldn't find fault in that.
"Are you okay?" Jamie asked Eddie.
She nodded her head, "Our baby is in so much pain, Jamie. He is so scared, this is just not fair!"
Before Jamie could react, Linda arrived with Lila. She was sporting a gold star for good behavior, a total switch considering Joey was usually better behaved than his sister. "Did I miss something?" Linda asked.
"No, Joey's still having a hard time" Eddie replied. "I'm hoping a fun day with Frank tomorrow will help that."
"I'm sure it will," Linda replied. "I know that he is taking them to the seaport and for dinner so he'll have time to talk with them. Sometimes he is the only one that can get through, even when they are babies."
Linda stayed a few more minutes then left that branch of the family for her own.
Frank arrived at noon the following day to retrieve his grandchildren for a day out. "I have all their stuff for the next couple of days in there in case I have to stay with Eddie. I'm going to crash at your house anyway but this way they are prepared," Jamie told him. "Okay guys, now if Grandpa says "Please don't hurt my family," what do you guys do?"
Both kids dropped to the ground immediately making Frank smile. "Here, you take her on me tonight," he said slipping some money into Jamie's hand. "And don't argue about it either, you're both my children. She asleep?"
"No, she's out getting her hair done for tonight. A little dinner, then back here for a good rest," Jamie told his dad. "I have reservations at The View."
"Isn't that where Eddie got lost that time when you took her there to propose?"
Jamie nodded.
Twelve Years Ago
Jamie was ill at ease. He had been dating Eddie for a little more than a year and decided he was ready to take the next step and propose marriage to her. He planned an exquisite night, dinner at a romantic rooftop, rotating restaurant and a ring, a new ring, that he'd purchased from the jewelry store where they worked their first plain clothes operation. He ordered a car to pick them up at her place and drive them to the restaurant in style.
When he got to Eddie's place, she was ready. She was in a short black cocktail dress, blonde hair down and curing around her shoulders. He licked his lips when he saw her, she took his breath away. After tonight, she would be his, the future Mrs. Jamison Reagan.
Eddie was impressed by the car, the restaurant, even the menu. "Jamie this place it's so much money!"
"Tonight, the sky is the limit," he replied. "Tonight is a very special night, it's our anniversary."
"Reagan, we started dating in June," Eddie remind him.
"No, this is the anniversary of our partnership, remember? And this time I'm doing it right." Jamie took her hand and kissed her lips softly.
Eddie smiled and ordered her meal. After the appetizers, Eddie excused herself to use the bathroom. As soon as she came back Jamie was going to propose. He waited five minute and got on one knee.
He waited and he waited for Eddie to return. Finally he saw her walking past the table on the stationary portion of the floor. The dining portion slowly rotated moving their table slightly each second he sat there. He waited again and saw her lap him a second time.
He tried not to laugh but it was kind of funny that his smart and beautiful girlfriend was challenged by a revolving restaurant. Finally, the waitress took pity on her and directed her to where Jamie was kneeling. "What's wrong, Reagan? You drop something?"
Jamie looked up at her and reached into his pocket, "No" he replied. "But I picked this up last week." He opened the ring box and let the diamond shine, "Edit Janko," Jamie said softly offering her the box. "Will you marry me?"
Present Day
"She didn't hesitate for a second, not for a second," Jamie remembered. "Everyone was cheering and clapping. I kissed her in line with the Empire State Building. So tonight, when we pass the Empire State Building, I am going to give her Mom's ring…and make sure she knows when I took my vows, I meant every word."
"I think she really needs to hear that son," Frank said. "You treat her right tonight. Let me handle these kiddos."
Frank wrangled the kids and headed off with Jamie's final warnings to behave fresh in their little heads.
Eddie arrived home a few hours later, and changed for dinner. She wore a more conservative dress but still looked as gorgeous as she did the day he asked her to marry him. "Guess where we are going?" Jamie whispered in to her neck as he helped her put on a necklace. "The View…"
"The View?" Eddie said smiling. "Wow you are pulling out all the stops tonight aren't you?"
"Nothing is too good for you, Eddie," Jamie whispered. "Nothing."
Jamie drove to the restaurant this time, he let her choose anything she wanted from the menu and ordered the best bottle of champagne they had. When Eddie they were in exact alignment with The Empire State Building, Jamie again got on one knee. Eddie gasped when she saw him on his knee, just like that day eleven years earlier. "Oh Jamie…"
He opened the box, "This ring was my mother's ring. Not her engagement ring but her mother's ring. Dad wanted me to have it for my wife, I gave it to Mom…Now I'm giving it to you, as a sign of my love and fidelity…no matter what."
Eddie began to cry and pulled on Jamie's hands, "I love you so much…" Again the entire place was applauding this couple that embodied love and devotion for one another. Jamie put a lot of Eddie's fears to rest that night, both at the restaurant and at home. He held her close to him and made love to her through the night, knowing come morning, their challenges would mount and they would need all of their strength to make it through.
Next in Tough: Eddie has her surgery, the doctor's determine how to treat her. Jamie is torn between his job and his family.
