Cujo V – The Son Also Rises

Chapter 12

Story is still chugging along - however slowly. Thank you all for the support shown by your comments, follows, and favorites.

It's about a bazillion degrees here and Imaginary Beta had to take a break. SPNGran picked up the standard and ran with it, (well, walked, but not without sweating and swearing). After downing a couple gallons of Diet Pepsi, Imaginary Beta went back to work. All remaining mistakes are those of an overheated/over-caffeinated brain.

Disclaimer: If I was paid for this, I'd be sitting on a Hawaiian beach drinking mai tais with a beautiful hazel-eyed man rather than melting into a disgusting puddle in a SoCal suburb.

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Just a Few

Doris stands hands on hips waiting for an answer. "I asked is everyone one alright. Are you alright?" When he doesn't answer fast enough, she adds, "You still look like crap."

Continuing to stare at his mother for a long moment, Steve finally let out a tired sigh. "Thanks for your assessment. I'm fine. I wasn't home when this happened."

Their last meeting had been acrimonious - as many of his interactions with the woman seemed to be. That she'd suddenly popped up into his life again wasn't actually a surprise. She seemed to come and go with no particular pattern or motive. He still didn't know what she expected of him and she seems to have no idea of how to keep from antagonizing him. Though he's not as bad as he used to be, he disappoints himself nearly every time by being so reactive to her cluelessness. It never took much for her to find a way to get under his skin no matter how hard he tried not to let her.

His mother sat down across from him; actual concern on her face. "Well, I'm glad it wasn't more serious. Was there anyone else here?"

"Just Bambi and a few cats." he replied.

Without missing a beat, in a dizzying switch from concern to criticism, Doris rolled her eyes and snipped, "Honestly, Steven, you're the only one I know who could say a 'few' cats. What is it with you and those creatures?"

"For one thing, they don't ask annoying questions." snapped Steve. He could already feel his face beginning to flush.

"Alright, alright, I was just kind of rattled that you might have been involved in the fire." defended Doris. "I won't bug you about your menagerie. I'm glad no one was hurt and that the entire house didn't burn down." Then tilting her head and quirking her brow, she asked, "Just how many cats do you have?"

With a put-upon sigh and a roll of his own eyes, (sometimes we are more like our parents than we'd like), her son answered, "Right now, there are five of them . . ." he could see a smug gleam begin to blossom in her eyes so he quickly added, "but two were just staying here temporarily."

"Only five, huh?" replied Doris, not entirely successful in keeping judgment out her tone.

To head off further comments regarding the quantity of felines he housed, Steve clarified, "Only the two grown ones actually belong here and all but one of the kittens are spoken for and are going to new homes - which should be very shortly. We're still waiting for someone to adopt the last one."

"Those cats are going to get you sued someday." she sniffed, "Actually, you're lucky I didn't sue anyone for being attacked when I tried to visit you at your office."

"They were only reacting to an intruder." snorted Steve, "You weren't even supposed to be there."

"I bet the unadoptable one is the little bastard who tried to bite through the back of my neck." huffed the supposedly retired CIA operative, "If I hadn't been wearing a leather jacket, I'd probably be dead. It's no wonder you can't find anyone to take him."

"Like I'd said the last time you visited, they're good judges of character." replied Steve; his mother glaring at him. "And Attila was only doing his job protecting his turf from people who don't belong. He's kind of precocious that way."

Trying not to react to his defense of one of the creatures that had mauled her, Doris barely kept her annoyance in check. Taking a breath to calm herself she waited a moment. Despite being away from here for so long, the ocean's rhythm was familiar and comforting. Like scenes from some other woman's life, memories of John, Stevie and Mary sitting at this very table flitted through her mind.

With a sigh, she shook off the memory to ask her long-grown son, "So, speaking of temporary housing; where are you going to stay? Until some of this mess . . . " she turned in her chair to gesture toward the ruined kitchen,". . . gets taken care of, it looks as though the house might be uninhabitable."

"I don't know yet; probably at the palace. It has most of the amenities. I've slept in worse places." shrugged Steve.

"I'm sure you have but there's no bed. It can't be that comfortable on that couch in your office."

"It's fine, I'll be fine." dismissed Steve, just hoping his mother would give up and go away. His back ached and now his head was starting to pound as well.

"Hey," they heard. Both looked up to find Danny leaning on his crutch at the kitchen doorway, "In case you're looking for it, I put the chicken in the living room."

"You have chickens too?!" exclaimed Doris; voice and brow rising. "Doesn't that present a problem? How do you keep the cats from eating them?"

Steve just sat and stared nonplussed at his mother.

"Hi, Doris." Greeted Danny before his partner could answer. "No, your son isn't raising chickens along with his herd of cats. I was talking about a big ceramic rooster that survived the fire."

"Ceramic?" asked Doris. She paused slightly; a memory flickering across her face before she laughed aloud. "Do you still have that stupid gaudy thing that you won for me at the carnival when you were ten?"

"I thought you liked it!" exclaimed her son.

"Honey, every mother is obliged to ooh and ahh over whatever their kid drags home as a present. You were just so cute when you gave it to me."

Danny nodded silently in confirmation. It wasn't often that he agreed with the woman considered by Steve's ohana to be possibly the least motherly mother they'd ever met. Even if it was created from mangled pieces of construction paper with glue still dripping from it, it's a parent's sacred duty is to enthusiastically accept the offerings of their progeny as though presented with a Faberge egg. That happy look on a child's face is worth more than than gold.

"But you said you liked it." repeated Steve, this time in a smaller voice.

Neither Steve nor his mother witnessed Danny shaking his head in sad consternation. For all the world, his badass, grenade toting, adrenaline addicted partner sounded like a kid who just got told that Santa is only an invention of greedy retailers and the Easter Bunny doesn't actually lay chocolate eggs.

"Oh, Steven, stop looking like I just shot your . . . pup . . . kitty." snorted Doris.

Taking pity on his stricken looking partner, Danny said to Doris, "Oh, you wanna shoot some cats? We've got one who'd make great target practice. He's probably the one responsible for this mess."

"Hey!" said Steve, "Leave Cujo alone!" He didn't need his partner ganging up with his mother on his not-my-pet.

"Okay, so maybe El Gato del Diablo Senior has mellowed slightly. He's still deranged, mind you, but maybe not quite so pissy. But how about Junior?" He asked before turning back to Doris to say, "He's easy to pick out. He's kind of a denim blue color and I think he's wearing his red and yellow ensemble today."

"Blue? Ensemble?" she asked. "Okay, it's getting really hard not to be judgmental here".

Annoyed with both his mother and his partner, Steve asked sarcastically, "Don't you two have anything else to do other than interrupt me while I'm filling out this damned paperwork?" His headache is now in full swing and it's about to make his eyes water.

"Okay, okay." dismissed Doris, as she stood from her chair. "If you need a place to stay until the repairs are done, I rented a nice bungalow a couple miles from here. It's got a spare bedroom."

"Thanks . . . mom, but, like I said, I've got somewhere to stay." replied Steve, immensely grateful that his mother looked about to depart.

"Whatever." she snorted as she turned, giving her son's partner a curt nod and a salute before walking back into the house. The two's animosity toward one another was put aside for the moment but it still simmered under the surface. Danny doubted he'd ever actually like the woman who, time-and-again, had proven to be a wrecking ball to his friend's peace of mind.

The frowning detective plopped into the chair Doris had just vacated. It will be evening soon and it's finally growing cooler. Dampness has changed the acidity of the smokey air and the scent reminds him of a drowned campfire. His thigh is aching so he stretches his leg out, setting his foot on an empty chair he pulls closer. Steve appears to be in pain as well. His face looks pinched as he sets down his pen, abandoning the claim forms that had been delivered by his insurance agent only a couple hours after the flames were out.

Lips thinned, Steve stares after his departing mother for a long moment before silently shaking his head.

"You aren't actually considering staying with her, are you?" asked the detective. "That doesn't seem in the least restful and, if you require backup, I'm gonna be a little slow in getting there these days."

Steve leveled his gaze at the blonde man. "Among the many things you've accused me of - and there are have been many - masochism was never on the list."

...

"Cuz, we gotta do something!?" railed Chin; every molecule of his normal Zen having evaporated within five minutes of starting his work day.

Upon arrival at the palace he'd stepped in a puddle of cat puke, found a half eaten lizard in his out-basket, and discovered that the giant container of Meowy Wowie Steve had bought online and the twenty pounds of kibble stored in a break-room cupboard had been plundered. Dried herb and crunchy little nuggets were EVERYWHERE.

The culprits, (without doubt Lili and her partner in crime, Cujo), had long waddled away from their bacchanal to sleep it off somewhere. Though the catnip was a first, the food supply kept in the break room had been sacked more than once by their rodent control officer and his amazingly dexterous accomplice. Lili is scarily adept at opening doors and drawers and Cujo has the teeth and the jaw strength of an alligator. The big plastic jug purchased specifically to discourage the duo's regular raids on the heretofore bagged kibble had been decimated and the empty container lay in the middle of the floor.

"What do you want to bet that Cujo can't chew through steel plating?" asked Chin of his cousin in process of cleaning up the mess. Armed with a whisk broom and a dustpan she'd crawled under the table to sweep up a large quantity of stray kibble.

Picking up the now ruined jug to examine the ragged hole chewed in it, "Jeez." muttered the Hawaiian man before throwing it into the trash bin.

Stretching to pry loose one last nugget wedged under the table's leg, Kono replied, "I wouldn't take that bet. He's like a saber-toothed goat, brah! The after-effects of smoke inhalation didn't even slow him down."

"Well, maybe being stoned out of his gourd will help." chuckled her cousin before asking, "Where's Steve? Didn't he say he was going to watch them to keep them out of trouble?" asked Chin.

Coming gracefully to her feet, Kono replied, "I don't think the boss is feeling all that great. He's too tall to sleep on that sofa. He may have consented to taking his pain meds. If they put him under he wouldn't have heard Bonnie and Clyde committing their latest heist. When I got here he was still asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake him."

Chin nodded to acknowledge all she'd said but went back to his original thought. "We've gotta get them out of here – the cats I mean. They've only been here a couple days and it's total disaster!"

Kono, second-in-command cat lady, had to reluctantly agree. The place is a mess.

With a disapproving shake of his head her cousin went on, "You're right about the sofa. Even if he hadn't been injured, Steve's back wouldn't have appreciated sleeping on it." In Chin Ho Kelly's opinion, his boss's stubborn refusal of offers to put him up until his house is once again ready for occupancy is ridiculous.

Jerry, surprisingly silent on his feet despite his bulk, appeared at the doorway to announce, "Dave Matsui just called. The governor is gonna to be here in another hour with the oversight committee."

"Shit." exclaimed Chin, he'd forgotten about the visit from the budgeting people. Denning felt that the bean counters would give everyone less crap about approving requisitions if they could see for themselves where the money's being spent. Steve's last request had triggered some serious foot dragging by the powers that be. More ammunition and another new phone to replace the latest one he'd destroyed, (this time in a chase ending in a flying tackle that had him and a perp landing on a pile of construction debris), hadn't yet been approved.

"We've gotta round everyone up and stash them in the blue room." exclaimed Kono as she emptied the kibble filled dust pan into the trash bin. "I think I saw Attila and Lizzy curled up on Danny's desk."

"If Danny was here . . ." began Chin.

"If Danny was here, he'd be bitching just like he usually does." they heard from the doorway. Steve stood there wearily surveying the mess. He still had pillow hair. "If it wasn't the cats, he would find something else to complain about. He's creative that way."

"Hey, boss," greeted Jerry and the cousins.

"How are you feeling today?" asked Kono, noting that he still looked exhausted.

"Honestly," replied Steve, "Like crap."

"Brah, I told you to come stay with me and Malia. Sleeping on that couch has gotta be hard on your back."

"Thanks for the offer, Chin, but I know that you've got your aunt staying with you while her house is being termited. You don't have room for both of us."

"And, I also told you that you come come stay with me." reminded Five-0's female officer.

"I appreciate the offer, Kono, but I know that you're seeing someone new. I don't think your UPS friend would appreciate you having a guy camping out on your couch. It might cramp your style." smiled Steve.

"That's why you won't stay at Konos?" asked Chin, surprised he didn't know of this development in his baby cousin's love life. Turning to her he said, "So, you finally decided to, as you'd put it, 'take it off the hanger and try it on', huh?"

"About time, Cuz." she grinned wickedly, "I figured Rudy and I needed to get together, disappoint each other, and get it over with."

Jerry weighed in with, "Sorry I don't have a place to offer you, Steve. My mom told me that I only have two more days to finish packing up my stuff. I'm not even sure yet where I'm going to be living."

"Don't worry about it, Jerry. If Cujo hadn't tried to burn down my house I could offer you a temporary place." said Steve, ever the generous soul.

"Thanks." answered the conspiracy theorist who'd noticed that neither of the cousins had yet offered him accommodation.

"In any case, Denning's going to be here with the budgeting oversight committee in an hour. Let's get the cats rounded up. As soon as that's done I have to make myself presentable as well. Thanks for, um, letting me sleep." said Steve to his teammates.

As everyone fanned out for the round-up, they knew that, this time, there was even an extra kitten to catch. Because Chin's Auntie Naia is allergic to cats, he had to bring Louie back to the palace for a couple of days. He realized it was adding to the problem but he had nowhere else to take him. At the time he'd wondered, Is this what it's like when you have kids? Finding a sitter at the last minute is a bitch. If Auntie was allergic to a kid rather than a cat, she'd be on her own.

Bambi's kitten, Tina, is also here temporarily. Like Cujo, the nurse is in process of battling the delayed effects of smoke inhalation. Despite her protests, Steve had been regularly checking on her and had taken the kitten with him the last time he'd been to her compact apartment. He knows the prickly nurse shouldn't be dealing with cat litter dust when she has bronchitis.

So, parents and four offspring would have to spend a couple of hours in the basement. Weeks ago, the governor had been told that all the kittens had gone to new homes. Such is not the case though all but one had been spoken for.

Currently, the only cat here 'legally' is Cujo but it was best to stash him with the rest of his family. When visitors are here it's always best he be confined to prevent him from stalking and eating anyone. That time the Parks Commissioner had visited with a few of his relatives, one of them a screaming, sugar-hyped toddler, had been close. Luckily, the official hadn't noticed that his three-year-old was being stalked like an antelope on the savanna before Kono had snatched-up their eight-pound lion and put him into a timeout.

Steve hadn't yet even told his boss that Lili had been added to Five-0's rodent hunter's ranks, (not that the so very refined and ladylike feline would actually deign to hunt anything other than a bowl of Friskies). Steve was working an angle. His strategy is that the man known to be a great fan of Hawaiian culture would accept the red tabby as an addition to Five-0 because of her name: Queen Liliuokalani. The choice of the regal moniker had been deliberate. How could the top official of the great State of Hawaii refuse a creature named after its last royal monarch? Steve is pretty sure the plan will work but there was still a kitten shaped hole in it – Attila. Finding a home for the rambunctious feline was proving to be harder than he'd thought.

Getting the office then himself presentable for company had been rushed, though Cujo had been strangely easy to catch, (he was so much more mellow than usual . . . and a bit heavier). Steve frowned at the change in temperament and heft as he deposited him in the blue room then went back upstairs to look for Lili. He found her in his desk drawer asleep atop his pile of clean shirts. She didn't even wake when he scooped her up to take her downstairs but being non-reactive to pretty much everything wasn't all that unusual. As soon as they'd named her Queen Liliuokalani, Danny had come up with his own title for the laid back tabby: Queen Liliuoka-meatloaf.

Leaving Kono and Chin to finish capturing the rest of the cats, he rushed off to get himself presentable for company. Greeting Five-0's overseers while dressed in sweats and a wifebeater probably wouldn't make the best impression. He made quick use of the shower in the downstairs locker room. He'd already 'de-furred' a clean T-shirt he'd gotten from the stash in his office. Duct tape was a godsend. He wondered what the world would be like without it. Who knew that he'd someday be using miles of the stuff to remove cat hair from his clothing. Lili was always on the lookout for a chance to open his desk drawer so she could take a nap in her favorite spot. It's where the kittens had been born.

For the cousins, it was now a frantic race to capture the kittens and stash them before the bigwigs arrived. Once again, like the whack-a-mole game at the carnival, as soon as one mini-marauder was deposited into the room, another would would dash out before the door could be closed.

Just as the last of them had been found hiding under the credenza in Danny's office and taken back to to the basement, Jerry called out. "They're here!", announcing the arrival of the government officials as though notifying his teammates of an invasion of space aliens.

After grabbing up an escaping Louie and tossing him back into the room one last time, Chin exclaimed to Kono, "We're cutting it close!" He hurriedly shut the door and dashed upward behind the woman taking the stairs two at a time. He didn't see a small feline slip out of the room like a mini-ninja at the last second.

The two thundering up the stairway weren't aware that a blue kitten in a red and yellow striped sweater silently followed them upward.

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