Back at the hotel, the gentlemen in the ballroom were heading outside. They'd both received a text from the wedding planner to meet by the grand marble pillars and flower patches along the red carpet. They waited pass evening time, enduring the change in temperature from hot to cold and cursing the planners good name. He was just down the street from them so his tardiness was inexcusable. Voicemails and messages were sent back to back relentlessly every ten minutes. They gave him one more hour before Sasuke couldn't take it any longer and pulled out his cell, calling his bride to be in hopes he had a clue where his first best man was.
"Hey, baby doll," He smiled like an idiot with a hand to his hip and the other holding the phone to his ear. The last time he saw his blonde was early this morning so hearing his voice felt more than just good. "I miss you too. Hey, quick question, have you seen my brother? He was supposed to be here hours ago and-Yeah, we called him but-Oh...Oh...Wait, Kato's here?!"
"Whose Kato?" Suko asked from an Indian style position on the sidewalk, looking up. He'd thought he'd been filled in on everyone there is to the Uchiha family and friends but apparently not. He could tell this Kato person must be an unsavory character judging by the disgusted faces the raven was making.
"No, no, babe- Why is he here?! I don't under-...I know he's family but- Of course, I love you! It's just that-Okay...okay..But- Well, he's a whore! Out of all your friends, he's the only one that- No, I'm not taking sides." He groaned, pinching the ridge between his eyes. Ebony soon widened at something that his friend on the sidewalk assumed was either shocking, distasteful or all of the above.
"He wants to do what?! Naruto we promised we wouldn't go to strip clu- Well, fuck Kato! I don't trust him with you! I-Yes, I trust you but not him...Alright- Alright, but don't let him take you anywhere near another naked or half naked man unless it's me, in which case it'll be a brothel for two…. Ha, we would get closed down for f-"
"Seriously, Sasuke? I'm right here!" He got up quick, plugging his ears with his fingers and tromping a good distances away. He had enough images of their sex life in his head to make three stag reels. He didn't need anymore to reach four. No amount of counseling could wipe the wrongful pictures from his head. To save the last piece of innocence he had left and to annoy his tormentor, he sung the first thing that came to his mind, the Elmo theme song. The disturbed and partly frightened looks he got from passersby and the raven himself were unparalleled to his broken singing.
"Elmo loves his goldfish, his crayons too!"
Sasuke's brow twitched in aggravation when his friend started to sing in his ear. "I think I'll call you back...Hm? Oh, I might have to kill Suko...Yeah, that's him singing the damn- What?! I didn't do anything, I swear! I-...I know...I'll talk to him...Okay, love you too." He frowned, hanging up and raking his fingers through his hair in exasperation. His blonde sounded like he was about to go somewhere which worried him. He switched his focus to the childish singing, glaring down the younger male.
"You can stop now, Suko!" He shouted, getting pissed off even more when the other turned up the volume. Giving up, he decidied to text Naruto instead and find out where he was going, never getting a response back.
Suko couldn't and still didn't want to hear a single word. He kept on with his happy song, hitting his third playthrough. His voice was drowned out by the approach of an all black party bus that pulled up, skidding to a halt in front of the hotel. The Uchiha fan symbol took up the center of the vehicle's side that was also a slide door.
Sasuke slowly looked up from his phone, brow arched. His eyes averted to the driver side that opened, allowing his brother to jog down and out. Then the side doors of the vehicle slid apart and showcased four guys with champagne filled wine glasses clasped in unsteady hands.
"Surprise!" They gents in the bus screamed in plastered unison, leaning on one another.
This was where the singing chap stopped and observed the men in the car, going off what he was told and putting a name to a face. He knew the redhead was Gaara and the blonde was Diedra. The one in the jacket cloak must be Shino and the guy that resembled a crack head was Tobi. The group was, peculiar? They didn't fit that type of crazy status he thought they would have, till later.
"Alright, up in the bus. Let's go, go, go! We're running late." Itachi rushed them on, never clarifying where he had been the whole time.
Sasuke tried to get an answer anyway, but the door was closed in his face, forcing him to let it go and drop back down in a seat next to Gaara who handed him a glass.
"Thanks."
The ginger nodded hazily, words to difficult to form at the moment because of the burp that came. He reached for the liquor bottle in the bucket on the center piece table that was bolted into the fluffy carpeted floor. When the vehicle started moving and swerved, an illegal u-turn ensuing, he bumped against the raven, accidentally causing the groom to spill his drink all over his lavender hoodie.
"Dammit, Itachi!" He cursed his brother, arms out at the chill that soaked through and nipped at his skin since he wore no undershirt. He struck the gray wall between them and the driver seat. "I'm not in any kind of rush!"
"You're not, but Itachi is." Diedra chuckled, twirling his glass, leaning back, leather legs crossed.
"Who are you?"
"I'm, um-" Suko stammered, attempting to scoot away from the advancing cloaked male that questioned him. He failed miserably. An arm dropped over his shoulders and pulled him back. He tolerated alcohol to an extent. The level coursing from the guys mouth was over that limit. To make matters worse, he could have sworn he saw something crawl out of the guys brown, fuzzy pineapple trimmed hair. His personal space was being invaded and his body examined like a very fine specimen.
"Shino, let him go. He's not interested in becoming one of your beetles. " Sasuke grumbled, taking off his hoodie, abs galore. "Hey Gaara, can I borrow your vest?"
Gaara took off the crimson leather and handed it over, content with his black shirt.
"They're not beetles! They are beetle-like so I understand the brain loss that you go through every time we have this conversation." Shino corrected, his voice on par with a mad scientist. "And I wasn't going to turn him into anything. His structure is already quite sui generis as it is." He tilted the confused males chin up, observing his neck more, spawning a blush from him.
"I'm a what?" Suko blinked, losing the fight to get back in control of his body. He restrained from screaming when one the beetle-like insects crawled on his shoulder.
"He called you unique- Shitty dick sack!"
Diedra choked on his drink, reaching for his leaking mouth. That was the usual reaction from one of Tobi's many Tourette's tics. He usually tried not to speak at all which was a hassle since he really loved to talk.
"Tobi, dude, you can't do that at the wedding. Iruka will have a heart attack." The raven chortled, slipping on the vest and zipping it up. He didn't mind his friends spasms at all, but there were going to be people at the union that would consider it unpleasant.
"Heart attack? Please, Iruka thinks he's possessed. I bet ten dollars he slips him some holy water." The blonde male grinned, gesturing to their twitchy friend with his glass.
"I'm sorry, guys." He twitched, biting his tongue from having another episode.
Gaara laughed, pouring himself a glass and saying, "You should've heard him on the plane. Five kids now think that turtles are rapists."
"Seriously?! Wish you could of taped it." Sasuke lightly tapped the cherry-topped guy's shoulder beside him to pour him a drink too.
"I would of, but-" Tires screeched as the bus came to another abrupt halt slash turn, slinging its unseatbelted passengers around like rag dolls and ruining the carpets with ice and liquor. The driver was perfectly fine. He whistled as he exited the vehicle, fixing his suit afterward, keys tucked safely in his blazer pocket.
Itachi opened the side doors, stepping back in surprise when the groom fell out with one of the groomsmen, generating mock laughter from passing partygoers. He knelt down and helped them up, hearing his second favorite little blonde curse in Spanish like he was about to kill someone. When he looked up, he saw why. Diedra was flung over the table with their twitchy friend was on his back.
"Damn, what happened? Were you guys standing?"
"Standing?!" He snapped on his big brother and dusted himself off. "You nearly fucking killed us!"
"You're fine though, right? Look, I'm in a rush. It took me forever to pick them up from the airport, re-order our tux, get our private reservations back on and-"
"Reservations for what, Itachi?!" Suko gasped from Shino's weight, managing to squeeze out from under the unconscious larger male.
The older raven grinned, arms out to the familiar neon-lit club behind him. "Is this not perfect or what?"
"Depends if Naruto's doing the same thing right now." Sasuke smiled uneasily, hands tucked in his pockets, fidgeting with his phone.
"I'm sure he's already drunk off his ass by now like we should be!" Itachi assured, climbing up in the bus to assist the entangled four.
~ Naruto's POV At A Different Club ~
"Guy's I can't! We promised!" Naruto shrieked over the music and voices all egging him on. He squirmed in the special chair, wrists handcuffed to it as the hunky male cop dancer continued to screw the air in his face. This was all his kin's idea. And what a terrible idea it was. They were originally supposed to go to a bar, drink and dance their asses off, but his cousin found it boring.
He should have known it was a trap when he and his friends were blindfolded by Kato and led somewhere that sounded like a club till they got deeper inside. His blindfold was then removed as he was pushed up on stage where he was chained down by the fake officer who then proceeded to boast his junk to the world, all kinds of bills raining down on him.
"Stop being a scaredy cat! Lick it, Naruto!" Kato threw benjamins from his wallet, whistling and acting obscene.
Kiba rolled his eyes, having had enough and climbed up on stage to save the bride. He ended up adding to the problem when he was swept off his heeled feet onto the dancers broad shoulders. He kicked, swinging his purse, and screamed, "Neji, I'm down! Help Naruto!"
. "Shit, hold on!" Neji rolled up his sleeves and mounted the platform.
"That's right boys, get yourself some!"
"What is wrong with you, Kato?! We're trying to get Naruto out of here, not get hi-Hey, let me go!" He was then picked up as well when more entertainers came out due to the uproar of excitement.
"Put them down!" The blonde pleaded but wasn't heard. He fought against the binds more, trying to keep from hurting anyone. The crowd was too ecstatic, hollering and tossing cash like they had nothing better to spend it on. Everything was happening so fast that he just barely noticed the dancer that crouched down between his legs. He quirked a repulsed brow at the barbarian themed performer whom took that as a challenge to up his game. It didn't help that the song 'Blow, by Ke$ha' was beginning to play.
Naruto tilted his head to the side and chuckled with the song, shaking his head, mouthing, "Don't even think about it."
The dancer dared it anyway. By the time he lifted his hand, his chin was impacted by a black combat boot that sent him crashing on his back, close to slipping off the stage. Everyone froze, eyes to the motionless stripper that caused some of the other entertainers to move aside when he landed, opening up a clear path to the wroth blonde. A scream from a different performer was then heard. All attention turned to him and the male on the floor whom he'd dropped. He was rubbing his face that had been maced by Kiba.
Kato's high shot down and was rekindled with fear when he saw mayhem about to befall. "What the hell are you guys doing?!"
It was then Neji's turn. Since he was being held bridal style, he didn't have the element of surprise but he could still do so damage. He poked his captor in the eyes, getting released but catching himself in a squat position before he hit the floor. He then sweep kicked the assaulted man, bringing him down to ground level. Things continued to get out of hand when the dancers actually tried to seize the more skilled aggressors.
Soon Naruto was freed by his copper haired friend that had picked the lock.
"Kiba, duck!" He warned, jumping up from his seat, following that motion with a spinning hook kick to the advancing dancer behind Kiba.
"Guys, stop!" Kato shouted from the crowd as security came on stage.
"Why? I'm actually having fun!" Neji laughed, kneeing one of the guards in the crotch before striking him with a backfist off the platform. It was evident he hadn't hit anyone in a long time.
"Me too!" The blond snickered, uppercutting an entertainer, raising his opposite fist up fast to strike one coming at his back. He then realised how much he was going to miss beating people down, especially with his fiancé. They would soon be starting a whole new life of non-violence so he'd better get it all out tonight. With one more jab to the bouncers jaw, he shouted, "Let's go!"
"On it!" Kiba explored his purse while he was provided cover, guards and dancers flying off the stage around him. He soon pulled out a canned cylinder that most people assumed was a grenade at first sight, causing panic. He pulled the pin and let it roll along the floor, it's gray fume covering their escape like it would for ninjas.
Outside they coughed their lungs out, sneaking in a laugh every now and then on their way to the bride's fiance's Chevrolet that he'd luckily been allowed to use.
"I can't believe we did that, holy shit!"
"This isn't funny, Kiba! We are wanted now! Where the fuck are we going to go?!" Kato fussed, yanking the car door open and getting in, slamming it back. He buckled up, crossed his arms and huffed like an upset child. He gave his friends the silent treatment when they got in the car.
"Oh relax, hun. I've got a few ideas since we're on mean streak." Naruto grinned up in the rear view mirror, loving the dread displayed by his cousins posture.
Authors Note: In all honesty, I should've just skipped to the wedding lol. I had no idea what to do with this that hasn't already been done D:!
