AN: So I realize I probably should have mentioned in the last chapter that before any good naughty stuff is going to happen there will be drama, drama and more drama. It's funny, when reading fics I always want to hurry up and get over the drama to get to the happy but when I write I prolong the drama like a mofo. Okay you know how it goes I must give an overly big shout out to my beta and master (kidding?) Gina!!!! This chapter is brought to you by the song Who I am Hates Who I've Been by Relient K which is an awesome song!!! Well I hope you guys enjoy the story!!!
P.S. This is in Faith's POV
Chapter 12: Who I am Hates Who I've Been
My life is one big cosmic joke and I'm the punch line. Okay so maybe I am being a bit on the dramatic side but give me a break, life isn't all sunshine and fucking bunnies at the moment. I mean, what the fuck, she acts like I was purposely trying to hurt her. Excuse me, Princess, but my existence does not revolve around you. Sure I broke some rules but I was thinking about Ashley, NOT me. And when did we get over everything?
We never talk about it; about me, about her, about us. Tell me B, how'd we get past what we've never even talked about? Why did you stab me? Why did I jump? And did you ever really hate me, because I don't think I could ever hate you. Today you stabbed me with your eyes and killed me your words, B. You killed me.
"Knock knock, anybody home?" Stopping mid-pace in my living room, I see my door slowly open as the knocker comes in uninvited. "Hey Sunshine, long time no see."
Kennedy is the only person I have ever met that just invites themselves into people's homes. If she was here for a normal visit, maybe I would feel more welcoming. But if she's here, then I am sure Red is running around MY school somewhere too.
"Oh, come on now. I think I deserve a little smile, or you could at least pretend to be happy to see me." Fuck you.
"Listen, Ken doll, we both know why you're here, so how about you stop pretending this is some fucking social visit." The sag in her shoulders and sad look in her eyes makes me feel shitty for snapping at her. Great let's just pile on the guilt.
"Hey, I get it; you're seeing me as one of them. Actually, I'm not really sure I'm even supposed to be here, but I ducked out when Will and Buffy starting babbling to one another as though I wasn't even in the room. I figure if I'm going to be ignored, I may as well go find some fun." I really shouldn't be surprised Kennedy isn't taking this that seriously. I'm pretty sure slaying and Red are the only things in life Kennedy does takes seriously.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Silver Spoon, but I'm in no mood to entertain, especially for someone who's here to turn my life upside down." I know I'm not being fair, but fuck it. She's a big girl and life isn't fair.
"Do you really think I'm here to help them fuck with you? I don't even know what you did, but I knew that you'd want this over as soon as possible so that's why I'm helping." Even though I clearly pissed her off, it didn't look like she was planning on leaving any time soon.
"So Red didn't tell you? Never knew the girl could keep a secret." Lame joke meet Faith.
"You know that's against the rules. The new Council is all about privacy, so I'm basically just a gofer. I can't read anything I touch, I just organize what they tell me to." Jumping onto my couch, Kennedy lays herself across it like the conversation was suddenly boring to her.
"So you really don't know why you're here?" As far as friends go, Kennedy and I are pretty tight…but I know where her ultimate loyalty lies. If Red really did tell her the details and told her not to say anything, then I'm sure she'd have no problem lying to me about it.
"Geez, Psycho, paranoid much? I told you I'm completely in the dark; but you're my girl so I came to help. And I came to your place because Velma and Daphne were boring the crap out of me. Seriously, I'm on no one's side, I just wanted to spend some time with my friend." The honesty in her eyes made me want to believe her, but I was still a bit guarded.
"So have Fred and Shaggy showed up yet?" Before the Council and the schools were set up, Kennedy and I used to spend a pretty good amount of time together. Even though we had our own places in the group, we still felt like outsiders looking in. One day while the gang was having their own special conversation and were basically ignoring us, we figured out which character each Scooby was, but we've yet to share this info with them.
"Nah, the guys are on their way. You know their stomachs never handle it well when Willow zaps them here." It felt good to just shoot the shit with Kennedy.
"I think I'm pretty fucked, Ken." As light as the atmosphere felt, I couldn't stop myself from going back to why she was here.
"Do you want to talk about it?" One of the things about Kennedy was that she never expects people to just spill their guts. If you need to talk, she'll listen, but if you don't, then that's just fine with her too.
"Yeah." So I told her everything. I told her all about Ashley; about training the young Slayer, about the many conversations I had with Wood about her, about that night, and about what went down with Buffy. I could tell Ken was surprised, but not in that judgmental way. I talked for about two hours and she just sat there and listened. "So that's everything."
"Damn," She says, and that pretty much sums it up. "I can't believe you were such a douche bag to Ashley." What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" It was a good thought that needed to be expressed.
"While I get why you did what you did, even though it was totally against protocol, the way you just explained how everything went down with Ashley after Buffy found out was totally fucked up. Right now this girl sounds more worried about you than herself, and you basically iced her out." I hate it when Ken makes sense. Why can't I ever be angry without feeling like I need to apologize to someone?
"Okay, so I am a douche bag. What about B?" She knew what I meant without me having to say more. As far as I know, Ken doll was the only one who knew the full Buffy and Faith history, mostly because I told her everything. She promised never to tell Willow, and I doubt the princess would ever taint her rep by telling her little gang about all the time she spent with the Big Bad Wolf.
"Sorry man, I got nothing for you there." Great.
"Yeah, you're wicked helpful, now get out." I love being direct, the look on Ken's face is priceless.
"What the fuck, Faith? I give you one bad answer and you kick me out?!" She is so spunky for such a little thing.
"No, ass-hat, I have to go talk to Ashley and try to set things right with at least one person that's unhappy with me at the moment." Duh.
"Oh okay, cool, maybe I'll go hunt Vi down and annoy her while she's teaching." That kid can go from angry to smiles in two seconds.
The walk to Ashley's dorm is shorter than I'd like. I really hate apologizing, especially when I really am at fault because then I have to mean it. When I reached her room I knocked as quietly as I could in hopes that if she didn't answer then I could convince my conscience that I did try. In only seconds the door opens and my brilliant plan is foiled, damn it.
"Faith?" I hate sad puppy-dog eyes; they always make me feel so guilty.
"Hey kid, mind if I come in?" Giving me a sad little shrug of her shoulders I follow the girl into her room. "Where are the others?" I asked when I noticed her room was empty.
"I told them to go for a walk. I had another meeting with Buffy, and since I didn't know how long I'd be I told them to go find some fun." She replied, never once looking at me.
"Oh, so how was the meeting?" The kid looks like crap so they must have torn her a new one.
"I guess it wasn't too bad. I met the rest of the new Council for the first time and they were all pretty nice." Geez, her sad-sack demeanor is making me feel worse.
"Well, that doesn't sound so bad." Sitting in a chair across from where she sat on her bed, I tried to seem as relaxed as possible.
"I mean it wasn't, for me. Buffy did most of the talking," Surprise, surprise. "And from what she was saying, it sounded like if their investigation went smoothly I would remain a Slayer."
"So why do you look so depressed?" Seriously.
"Well, they told me what was happening to you and Wood. I know that if I could've just kept my mouth shut then your jobs wouldn't be in jeopardy." Okay, so apparently my cold shoulder affected her more than I thought it would.
"Ashley, hey, come on now, look at me," Once I gained eye contact with her I continued, "What's going on is not your fault. Wood and I made our own decision and we did so knowing what would happen if word ever got out." Okay, I didn't actually think things would go this far, but still.
"I know but-" I quickly put up my hand stopping whatever she had to say.
"We don't blame you, Ash. You made some bad decisions and so did we, such is life. When everything is said and done, and we see how this whole thing goes down, we'll take it from there. The Council is not out to get us." I hope. "So we just need to stick to the facts and hope that it's enough to prove that the rules were broken with only the best intentions in mind." Putting on the best smile I could, Ashley finally relaxes a bit and smiles right back at me.
"Thanks, Faith." Go me.
"Hey, it's no problem. I should have said all of this before, and I'm sorry for freezing you out." I was surprised when Ashley leaned over to hug me, but I managed to hug her back without pausing too long. "Well, Ash, as fun as this is I have to take off, things to do, people to see, and all that shit." I really had no place to go, but I'm not big on staying to bask in a sappy moment.
"Yeah, ok, I understand but I'll see you soon, right?" Okay, so apparently she still thinks I am unhappy with her.
"Of course, we're in this together." I think initiating the hug myself this time made her feel better. "Peace, homie." Giving one more dimple-powered smile I take my leave, with Ashley smiling back in my direction as she shuts her door.
I really do appreciate how easy that was, and even more so that there was no crying. So far I have Wood, Ashley, and possibly Kennedy on my side. My odds just keep looking better and better. Now if I could just get Buffy to understand I'd be golden, but shit, I'm no miracle worker.
