A/N: Hey guys, I know it's been over a week, but I've been really busy. Plus, I told myself I wouldn't post this chapter until I finished a later chapter, which I know feels unfair to you, but it's meant to make me write faster. I apparently also forgot to add a key detail to my author's note last chapter. So, in the IM conversation, Derek sends Meredith a song link. The song is New York by Snow, Patrol, and that's very important, or at least noteworthy. Anyway, this chapter is from Meredith's point of view, and once again, it shows the passage of time and their relationships and all that good stuff. Anyway, enjoy, and let me know what you think!

Chapter 12: Payphone

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong
Where are the plans we made for two?

Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember,
The people we used to be...
It's even harder to picture,
That you're not here next to me.

December 25, 2005

I pace when I'm nervous. Which would be why I kept doing laps around my bedroom, clutching the phone tightly in my hand. Derek had decided that for part of my Christmas present, he would pay the bill in order to call me at Christmas and hear my voice. And I knew that it had the potential of being very expensive, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I needed to talk to him, to hear his deep voice, his laugh, everything. I was seriously hung up on him.

Cristina would occasionally call me pathetic, but it didn't really bother me. She would try to pressure me into going on a date or getting drunk and having a one night stand, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had Derek, and that was enough. Granted, I wasn't sure how I had Derek, we never really defined our relationship, but we both seemed pretty invested, and for now, it was good enough for me.

There was a part of me, way back in the recesses of my mind, that kept telling me it wasn't normal. That a six thousand mile separation was not, and was never going to be, a relationship, but I tried not to listen. I know that this is the rational part of my brain, and I'll have to face it eventually, but for now, I choose to ignore it.

If "Happy Ever Afters" did exist,
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairy tales are full of shit
One more stupid love song, I'll be sick

Suddenly, the house phone began ringing, and I heard someone move downstairs to get it.

"Izzie, I've got it! It's for me!" I shouted loudly, looking down at the caller ID. All that was displayed was "International", so I was right in assuming it was for me. I took a second to take a deep breath to calm my nerves and excitement. It had been almost six months since I had heard his voice, and as much as I wanted to hear him, I did not want to burst into tears as soon as he started speaking.

"Hello?" I said as calmly as I could when I pressed the talk button.

"Meredith?" Derek's deep, beautiful voice asked. He sounded nervous and unsure, but I knew it was still him. I grinned immediately; his voice sounded far away, but then again, he really was far away. But none of that mattered, because I could hear him.

"Derek!" I practically squealed, hearing the ridiculous excitement in my voice, but really not caring at all. This was what I had needed the past couple months, and I was finally finding relief.

"Mer," he sighed quietly, his voice relieved. "It's nice to finally hear your voice."

"You have no idea," I agreed.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure I do," Derek laughed, and my heart squeezed at the low sound before I joined along with him.

"I guess that's true," I admitted. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Derek replied. "How has your day been so far?"

"Well, considering the fact that it's only nine in the morning here, pretty good. What about you?"

"It's alright. I had to work for a couple hours this morning, but this is by far the highlight of my day."

"Mine too," I smiled.

"So, how did you like your present?" Derek asked

"Oh, they were great! Thank you so much. However, I feel like my residents won't let me use scalpels that were made in the 1860s when I'm in the OR, but it was a nice thought."

"Shut up," Derek laughed. "I just thought that you would appreciate it. Maybe you can use them when you're practicing your technique."

"Maybe," I laughed in reply. "What did you think of your present?"

"I actually haven't opened it yet, I was going to wait."

"Great, now you're making me feel like crap because I opened it as soon as I got it," I scoffed, rolling my eyes at him, even though he couldn't see it.

"No, it's fine. I wanted you to open it when you got it, you got my present a week ago and I didn't expect you to wait until Christmas."

"Are you saying I'm a last minute shopper just because yours didn't get to you until three days ago?" I snapped, feigning hurt.

"No!" Derek insisted. "Look, can I just open it now?"

"If you want to," I answered non-committedly.

Derek groaned as I laughed, and I listened as he opened the package and unwrapped the present I had mailed.

"A webcam?" Derek asked once he finished unwrapping it.

"Well, yeah," I said, hoping he would get it. "My laptop has one, and yours doesn't."

"So?"

"Well, I was thinking, rather than chatting or spending ridiculous amounts of money on phone calls, maybe we could video chat sometime. It's free, and I could actually see you, and it would almost be like you were there. But if you don't…"

"Mer," Derek said quickly, interrupting me. "I love it. Thank you so much. And we will definitely need to use this as soon as possible."

"Okay," I replied, smiling. We sat in silence for a moment before a random thought popped in my head.

"I'm thinking about getting a dog," I said randomly.

"Okay…" Derek replied slowly.

"Yeah, I've always wanted a dog, but my mom never let me have one, and it would be nice to have one," I began rambling.

"What kind of dog would you get?"

"Oh, I don't know, probably a big one. I'd want one that I could play with and walk long distances and stuff. You know, get out of the house with," I kept rambling, but the more I spoke, the more unrealistic it sounded.

"I'd love that too. When I settle down, I want to buy a huge tract of land, that way I can have plenty of kids and pets," Derek replied longingly.

"That would be really great Derek. But, maybe I should hold off on the dog for now. I mean, I barely have any time with my schedule, so the dog wouldn't get enough care or attention. Maybe in a couple of years."

We talked for a half an hour more, until we really had nothing more to say to each other. I could tell we were both reluctant to get off the phone, I loved hearing his voice, and I just wanted to keep listening to him talk about nothing.

Finally, after a particularly long pause, I spoke. "I think I have to go. Izzie is really into Christmas, so my entire house looks like Santa's freaking Village, and she invited a bunch of people over for Christmas dinner, and I have to help set up."

"Yeah," Derek sighed deeply. "I should probably call my family and wish them a Merry Christmas. It's about one there, so I'll probably be able to talk to everyone before dinner gets underway."

"Let me know when you have your webcam figured out."

"I will. I miss you Meredith."

"I miss you too," I said, my voice cracking slightly. "Bye Derek."

"Bye Mer."


January 20, 2006

I drummed my fingers on the desk in my mother's old study as I stared at my computer screen. Derek told me he would email me when he got online, but it was taking too long and I was losing patience fast.

It had taken him a little while to figure out the webcam, and then both of us had to download a program so we could video chat, and then our schedules never coincided with our time difference, which led to almost a month of waiting before we could finally video chat. And Derek wasn't even online like he said he would be.

I was so close to being able to see him, and I just couldn't wait any longer. It had been six months. Six long, long months since I had stared at his sparkling blue eyes and saw his curly raven hair in person rather than in a picture, and I was finally going to be able to.

Finally, my email beeped, signaling a new message. It was from Derek, but it was very brief.

Online now. Should I call you or you call me?

I'll call you, wait one second! I typed quickly and hit send before opening a new browser and signing in to the program. As I waited for the program to connect us, I thought about different things we could talk about. As fun as just staring at him might be, it would probably be a lot less creepy and stalkerish if we actually had a conversation while video chatting.

Suddenly, a box popped up on my screen, and there he was.

I gasped. The pictures and my memories did not do him justice. At all. His dark hair was a little longer, and slightly more curly than I remember, especially at the ends. His eyes seemed brighter, and as he looked at me, they crinkled as he gave me the most gorgeous smile I have ever seen him give. Even if it was almost midnight in London, and he was wearing his old grey Bowdoin shirt that was usually reserved for bed, he is still the most attractive man I have ever seen.

And I could finally see him.

His face slowly changed from one of pure joy to concern as he stared at me.

"Mer," he said, my name like a prayer on his lips. "What's wrong?"

That's when I realized I was crying. I could feel the tears running down my face as I looked back at him; he must have thought I was crazy.

"No-nothing," I stuttered out. "I just can't believe it's you. And I'm really happy to see you."

Derek smiled at me again. "And I'm really happy to see you too."

"Good," I said, laughing a little.

"Are you alright?" Derek said, suddenly concerned again.

"Yes Derek, I'm fine," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You don't look fine. You look beautiful, but you don't look fine," Derek replied. "You look exhausted."

"Yeah well, life of an intern," I said, shrugging. I smiled at him again, still in amazement that I could see him and speak to him, almost like he was here with me.

Almost.

But with that happiness, I also felt a little empty. Yes, I loved hearing his voice and seeing him and doing both at the same time, but he wasn't actually here in Seattle with me. Though I was incredibly fortunate to be able to do those things, it wasn't the same as being with him. Physically in his space to touch and kiss and hold him. Call me selfish, but that was important too.

Which gave me a brilliant idea.

"What are you doing in July?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"Um, I don't know. Getting ready for my fellowship probably, why?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows at me. Man, I loved being able to see his facial expressions.

"Well, I get two weeks off after my intern exam, and I was thinking about planning another trip to London."

Derek looked at me, befuddled for a moment before he put the pieces together, giving me a wide grin.

"I see," he said. "And would I be able to see you on your trip to London?"

"I suppose I can make time for you," I said slowly, teasing him. "I could use a sexy tour guide to show me around again, and the last guy did a pretty good job."

"You're really thinking about coming to London?" Derek asked, his eyes wide with hope.

"Well, I need to check flights and stuff because I literally just thought of this, but yeah, if you'll have me, I'd like to come visit you."

"Of course I'll have you," he said happily.

"Good," I nodded. "I can crash on your couch."

"Don't be stupid," he rolled his eyes. "You'll stay in my bed."

"And where will you sleep?" I teased.

"In my bed." He answered simply.

"Are you sure that's appropriate, a tour guide and his tourist."

"Oh, it's definitely not appropriate," Derek said huskily, his low voice filled with lust as he looked at me with hooded eyes and a wicked grin, one that told me he was picturing me naked.

I laughed. "I guess I can live with that."

"So, maybe July?" Derek confirmed.

"Maybe July."