That Is How Long I Have Loved You: Chapter 12

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Yaay, my exams are over. I can finally devote more time to this story along with much daytime tv :p. Anyway, this chapter is a bit of a long one, sorry! I got a bit too into it. Plus, it's a Christmassy chapter, so to get myself in the mood to write it I watched a couple of Christmassy movies (The Holiday, Holiday Inn and Love Actually)…and now I wish it was Christmas. Oh dear :s. Oh well, hopefully you all enjoy it. Thank you for the lovely reviews on the last chapter, they were greatly appreciated : ) xxx

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December 22nd, 1942- Wyoming.

"Amy…," one of her dorm mates pushed her shoulder gently, and again once more when she received no response to that first one. "Amy, wake up!"

"What?" Amy said, opening her eyes and sitting bolt upright. "What is it, Helen?"

"You fell asleep at your desk again," Helen replied, indicating down at the textbook lying open on the desk which Amy had had her cheek pressed against all night."

"Damn," Amy rubbed at her cheek. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Well you'd better hurry up," Helen pointed to the clock. "You're going to be late for the exam if you don't hurry up, and so will I for staying behind to wake you up."

"Damn it," Amy repeated, stronger this time. She leapt to her feet and reached to her coat, quickly rushing to the packed suitcase which lay next to her bed. "Give me a hand with this will you?"

"Why are you taking this to the exam?" Helen asked, putting a hand on the handle and grunting at the weight.

"I have to catch my train home straight after the exam,"

"Oh," Helen said. "Home Sweet Home for the holidays, huh?"

"Something like that…."

…………………………………………..

22nd December, 1942- New York City

April walked through the photography department of Epoch magazine, one hand swinging freely at her side and the other clutching at an A4 file as she said hello to all of the secretaries that she passed by. She spied Judy walking into her office, a steaming cup of coffee in her hand. She rushed to catch up with her. "Judy!"

"Mmm hmm?" Judy asked, absent-mindedly staring at a newspaper lying on her desk.

"I just developed those photos for you," April said, handing her the file.

"Great, thanks," Judy took it, opening it and glancing over the contents. "They came out well."

"They did," April nodded. "I think that they really did."

"Well, thanks for that April," Judy smiled as she set the file down. She pointed out of her office and to the small suitcase sitting next to April's makeshift desk. "Is it today you go home?"

"Yeah, I got a ticket home on the sleeper train. I need to leave around five," April replied, looking at the clock, which had just struck 4 p.m.

Judy walked over to her office window, a hand in her trouser pocket, biting her lip as she looked out of the window. "You know, the snow is really coming down out there. Why don't you just go now and beat the traffic?"

"I don't mind," April shrugged nonchalantly. "Are you sure?"

"Course, "Judy laughed coolly. "Don't you want to go home or something."

"Well…yes and no," April rolled her eyes at Judy's stare. "It's a long story…."

"Well, I'll make it easy for you," Judy smiled fondly, taking April's coat from the coat rack and handing it to her. "You have to go home. I need someone to take me some photographs of a rustic Christmas."

"A rustic Christmas," April echoed with a laugh, putting on her coat. "What are you doing for Christmas anyway?"

"Oh you know," Judy leaned against her door casually. "The usual. Myself, some friends and good old E and B."

"E and B?" April wrinkled her nose in confusion.

"Eggnog…with brandy," Judy winked. She looked April up and down, shaking her head slightly in amusement. "Do you have any dresses in that suitcase of yours?"

"A few, why?" April asked.

"Because judging by what you were wearing when you first showed up in my office, I'm guessing not too many girls where those back where you're from…," Judy motioned towards the belted trousers that April wore. She chuckled. "I'm having an influence on you, I see…."

"They're just practical," April said, blushing slightly but hiding it with a laugh. She put a hand up to touch her own recently-cropped hair. It wasn't cropped as short into the head as Judy's, but it hung in curls above her shoulders. Shorter than before, certainly. "More like New York is having an effect on me."

"Mmm hmm," Judy raised her eyebrows, amused.

"Alright, alright, I'll change," April relented, knowing that Judy was right. She could just envision her mother's face in her head if she saw her daughter climb off of that train in trousers of all things. It was almost an amusing thought.

"Oh wait, before you go," Judy called her back, reaching into one of her desk drawers and producing a wrapped, square-shaped package. She held it out for April to take. "Just a little Christmas gift."

"Oh," April smiled, biting her lip a little awkwardly. "I'm sorry Judy, I didn't know that we exchanging gifts. I'm afraid I haven't got you anything."

"Pfft, don't worry about it," Judy waved a hand dismissively. "We don't pay you enough here at Epoch to expect you to buy gifts."

April smiled at the joke as she unwrapped the rich, red gift-wrap. Inside was a blue satin material-covered photograph album. She opened it up, thumbing through the photographs, recognising them as the ones she'd taken from Toccoa which Marv had sent to Judy in secrecy to claim the assistantship for her. All of the ones of Easy Company… "Wow."

"You like?" Judy asked, her fingers hooked around the belt loops of her own trousers as she peered over it as well. "I thought you'd want these back…and what kind of person would I be if I didn't give you a nice album to put them into?"

"It's really nice…," April breathed, almost in a whisper as she looked over the photos, a thousand memories flooding back to her. Memories she'd tried her damnedest to forget. "Thank you so much, Judy."

"I have to say," Judy began, reaching over and pointing to one of the photos of David sitting at the counter in his usual spot. "There are a lot of one with this man in them. Anyone in particular."

"No," April said, closing the album abruptly, brushing off the comment dismissively. "He's no one in particular. Thank you so much again for the gift, Judy. Have a great Christmas…"

………………………………..

23rd December, 1942- Toccoa, Georgia

Mr. White parked his car outside the snow-covered family home, casting a smile towards Amy sitting in the passenger seat. "Home Sweet Home, darling."

Amy yawned, the long day and overnight journey catching up on her. "Feels like forever."

"Well, everyone is home and they can't wait to see you," He said, getting out and opening the passenger door for her. "April got home this morning…."

"Everyone can't wait to see me, huh?" Amy said to herself, biting her lip and climbing out of the car and following her father inside.

"There's my girl!" Mrs White threw open the front door, pulling her daughter into a hug. "We've missed you so much."

"Mom," Amy smiled, breathing in her mother's perfume as she rested her head in the crook of her neck.

Mrs White pulled back, frowning as she looked at her daughter's pale, tired face. "Are you alright, darling?"

"Yeah," Amy said, trying to perk herself up. "It was just a long journey."

Mrs White smiled at her daughter, putting an arm around her shoulders and ushering her towards the kitchen. "You just need a little home cooking, that's all."

Suddenly Amy found herself in the kitchen and face-to-face with April, who sat at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of steaming hot coffee. Both girls simply stared at each other, each one taken aback by how different her sister looked. April hadn't seen her sister looking so pale and tired, and Amy couldn't believe her sister's short hair and ruby red lips. Amy quietly took a seat opposite April at the table, smiling politely at her.

"I suppose you've both brought me a great big pile of dirty laundry," Mrs White said, dragging Amy's suitcase into the kitchen and breaking the awkward silence between the two girls. She sighed as she fiddled with the clips on April's suitcase. "Might as well start with yours, April."

Both girls sat in an uncomfortable silence, occasionally catching each other's eyes and smiling politely. Mrs White looked at her daughters with worry as she unpacked clothing from April's suitcase. She'd hoped that the distance would've put an end to the silly little quibble between them. She'd been wrong, apparently. Her attention was averted, however, as she pulled out a pair of black men's trousers from April's suitcase. She gasped, holding them up by the end of one of the leg hems. "…and just who do these belong to young lady?"

April looked over, rolling her eyes. "They're mine, Mom."

Amy raised an eyebrow along with her mother.

"Come again?" Mrs White asked.

"They're mine," April shrugged nonchalantly. "They're practical for working in."

"My, my, my," Mrs White tutted, tossing them into the laundry basket. She tutted again as silence fell over the room again. It was supposed to be Christmas, for goodness sake! "Come on, girls. You must have so much to talk about…."

Both girls just sat awkwardly in their chairs.

"Very well," Mrs White said tersely, taking out the last of April's dirty laundry and snapping the case shut. She was a determined woman, and new that she could get her daughters talking again if she so wished it. "We're going out tonight, to Steven's School Christmas Recital."

"Do we have to go?" Amy asked with a yawn, her face drained.

"No, no, neither of you are going, in fact," Mrs White shook her head. "I don't know if you noticed but our Christmas tree is still bare. I want you both to decorate it whilst we're out."

Both girls looked at each other, biting their lips.

…………………………………

Later that night when their parents and Stephen had left, both girls stood in the living room in front of the bare Christmas tree, a safe distance apart.

"I suppose we'd better get started," April piped up, looking over at Amy, who was looking increasingly pale and peaky. "Mom'll throw a fit if she comes back and this thing is still bare."

"Right," Amy held a hand to her head, turning to face one of the cupboard. "I…I'll just get that box of baubles."

Amy walked over to the large, oak cabinet in the corner of the room. She reached up on her tiptoes to reach the box on the to shelf, suddenly feeling faint as she did so. The next thing she knew, she was falling backwards. April rushed forward to catch her before she fell, causing both to fall down to their knees.

"Oh my…are you alright?" April asked, concerned.

"I..I'm fine, I just…," Amy waved a hand dismissively, her spare hand clutching at her forehead. "I'm just feeling a little…."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Just a busy day, I think. Exams, no sleep and barely time to eat…," Amy said, sighing heavily.

"Wow, they're really working you hard out there, huh?" April said, putting a hand out and stroking her sister's arm sympathetically.

"I'll be fine, I'll be fine…," Amy said, struggling to her feet but stumbling again.

"No you won't," April said, stepping in and putting a hand on her sister's back. "Look at you, you're exhausted. Come on, you're going to bed, now…."

"But the tree," Amy protested weakly as April started to manoeuvre her up the stairs.

"I'll take care of the tree," April insisted as they arrived at their bedroom. She tucked her sister up in bed, watching as her eyes closed slowly, her body succumbing to sleep. She sat on the side of the bed, looking at her for a moment with concern. She'd never seen her sister so burned out and exhausted. Since they'd been little nothing seemed too big for her twin sister. She leaned forward, giving her sister's forehead an affectionate kiss before heading back down to decorate the tree.

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24th December, 1942- Toccoa

Wrapped up in her thick, brown winter coat and scarf, April breathed in the crisp, winter air of the park as she walked through, snapping away at the snowy scenes with her camera. She'd missed this place, and couldn't help but think that it never looked nicer than at Christmastime. Judy wanted pictures of a rustic Christmas, and she intended to provide just that.

"Hey," Ruthie said, stamping her feet against ground to heat up her body against the freezing cold. "Hurry it up, would ya? I'm freezing!"

"You wanted to come," April teased, not looking away from her camera lens.

"Well, look at you," Ruthie teased back, a smile about her lips. "Looks like you got some sass with that new haircut of yours."

"Hey," April laughed defensively. "You said you liked my hair."

"I do, I do," Ruthie reassured her. She folded her arms against the cold as April began taking photographs again. "So is everything okay between you two now?"

April shrugged. "Well, we're talking…sort of. I don't know. It's like the bad blood has gone, well, it certainly has for me, but it doesn't seem like either of us can pluck up the courage to talk about it what happened before we both left."

"I suppose it's better for you now that he's gone," Ruthie mused, tracing a line with one finger in the snow lying on top of a nearby bench.

April's finger suddenly paused above the flash button at the mere mention of him. She licked her lips, suddenly feeling a frog in her throat. "Um…right."

Ruthie continued. "You don't think about him anymore, do you?"

"Of course not," She lied, wishing it was the truth. "I'm over it."

"Right…," Ruthie said, entirely unconvinced.

…………………………………….

Christmas Day

"Wake up, it's Christmas!" Steven banged loudly on the girls' bedroom door before thundering his way down to the living room.

Both girls sat bolt upright in bed at the sound of their brother's shrill voice. They rubbed their eyes blearily.

"Merry Christmas," Amy said, clearing her throat and smiling meekly at her sister.

"Merry Christmas," April said, smiling back before looking own at the foot of the bed. A wrapped present lay at the foot of each girl's bed. "Uh oh, Mom's homemade gift…."

"You first," Amy said.

"Together?" April asked tentatively.

Amy nodded and both girls tore open the gift wrap to reveal heavy woollen, knitted jumpers of a garish red colour and a large snowman painted on the front. They held them up in front of them, looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes…and burst out laughing.

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Later that afternoon, ever-determined to have her daughters speaking before they left Toccoa once more, Mrs White had sent both girls out for a walk with the dog on the pretence that they had to get out of the kitchen whilst she prepared dinner. As they walked through the snow-covered streets, they both began to feel the ice thawing between them.

Amy seized the opportunity. "I missed you, you know."

"I missed you too," April smiled back, feeling the emotion become a little too overpowering and so jostling her sister playfully on the arm.

"So, can we put it all behind us?" Amy asked hopefully. "I know that you're probably still furious at me, but it's Christmas. I'd hate to start the New Year with us still at each other's throats."

April cut her off, shaking her head. "I'm not furious at you, Amy. Hell, you were right. I was too afraid to take a leap on my own but, look at me, Amy. Have you ever seen me look happier?"

"Actually, no…," Amy observed. "You're glowing."

"This was the right thing to do," April reassured her sister. "I just couldn't see it at the time."

"Well, we got there, right?" Amy laughed, casually reaching down and gathering some snow in her hand. "Now, I have been dying to do this…."

She launched the snowball at her sister. April burst out laughing, brushing the snow off of her jacket. "Oh, that's it…I'm gonna get you now…."

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December 27th, 1942- Toccoa

Amy and April curled up next to each other on the sofa, looking at the newspaper to see which movies were showing that day.

Amy's eyes lit up. "Look, they're showing Holiday Inn for the holidays. I saw that one while I was in New York. I'll tell ya, that Fred Astaire can dance with me anytime he wants…."

"I don't look him," April disagreed. "Too cocky. I like the other one…what's his name?"

"Bing Crosby?" Amy wrinkled her nose. "Really?"

"Mmmm hmmm," April nodded. "That sounds good, let's go see that one."

"Okay," Amy set the paper down one the armrest of the sofa, shivering. "It is freezing in here."

"Oh," April motioned to dark hearth of the fire. "Fire's gone out again. I'll go and get some more wood.

April hopped to her feet and put on her jacket, making her way into the freezing afternoon air and out into the garden. She walked to the bottom of the path, picking up a few bits of a firewood from a large pile of it. When she bent back up, her arms full of fire wood, she found herself face-to-face with…David, a knapsack slung over his shoulder and a heavy winter coat over his dress uniform.

She nearly dropped the wood, stunned. She couldn't find the words, save for the following. "David…what are…?"

"Just visiting," He smiled at her, putting his knapsack on the ground.

She looked at him, dumbfounded. She felt like she'd just taken two huge steps backwards. She'd tried so hard to stop thinking about him and, with time, it had become ever so slightly easier, but here he was, standing in front of her…and her heart was beating like a train and her stomach fluttering.

He looked at her, frowning at her blank stare. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Uh, sure," She cleared her throat. "Come on in."

They began to walk up the path side-by-side.

"Let me take those for you," He said, gesturing to the firewood.

"It's fine," She shook her head, avoiding his eye contact. "I've got it."

"Okay. I like your hair by the way. It really suits you," He complimented her.

"Oh, thanks," She smiled, electricity shooting up her arm as he accidentally grazed against her.

Amy suddenly appeared at the door just as the two approached the stairs. Her eyes wide with surprise. "Did I hear…David!"

She'd thought she'd heard his voice, but had thought it was just her imagination. No, here he was, standing right here in front of her. Her heart leapt into her throat. She couldn't deny that she'd missed him, no matter how casual she'd been determined to keep things between them, but she could never have imagined just how happy she'd be to see him standing there. Without thinking, she flew down the stairs and into his arms. "David."

……………

At dinner that night David, who had been warmly welcomed by the family, was the guest of honour.

"I have to say David," Mr White gushed. "I think you're a fine young man for our Amy, given that you've come all this way during your Christmas break just to see her."

Amy and David smiled lovingly at each other from across the table.

April shifted uncomfortably in her hair. It'd been a while since she'd had to see scenes like this and it all came back to her like a punch to the stomach. She couldn't stand it, couldn't bear it any longer. She pushed her hair back and stood up. "May I be excused?"

Without waiting for an answer, she began to absent herself from the room, stopping only when Amy grabbed her arm as she passed by.

"Are you alright?" Amy asked, her eyes full of concern.

"I'm fine," April nodded, looking away. "I just have a tummy ache."

Climbing the stairs into the bedroom, April closed her eyes and sat down on the ground. She clutched her legs to her chest as she listened to everyone laughing and joking downstairs. She felt more than ever like a shrinking violet. As a tear or two began to make their way down her cheeks, she spied some white paper poking out of the side of Amy's suitcase. Without thinking, she leant forward and tugged at it, revealing it to be a stack of letter. Addressed from David, she noticed. Perhaps a glutton for punishment, she opened one, scanning its contents. Sighing as she set it down in her lap, she leaned against the wardrobe helplessly. "He really loves her, doesn't he?"

April lay on her bed for about half an hour, just thinking. The sound of Amy taking the steps two-by-two filled the air. She finally poked her head around the door. "April, aren't you going to get ready to go see Holiday Inn? I take it you don't mind if David comes now?"

"I'm not going," April replied, her voice croaky.

"Why not?" Amy asked, concerned. "Still feeling ill?"

"Yes…," She replied simply.

"Okay, well feel better," Amy said, closing the door behind her.

………………………

Amy and David walked arm-in-arm out of the movie theatre, fresh from watching Holiday Inn.

"So tell me," Amy asked playfully. "Can you dance like Bing or Fred?"

"What do you think?" He laughed, shaking his head, joking. "…of course I can."

She laughed, rubbing his arm affectionately. "I've missed that humour. You know, part of me didn't think you were actually going to show up."

"What, you thought it was an empty promise?"

"Well, sort of," She replied with a wink.

"Honey," He joked, mimicking Bing Crosby's voice. "Earth, Wind and fire couldn't keep me from you."

She laughed affectionately. "So how long can you stay?"

"Just one more day, I'm afraid," He said regretfully. "I told my mom I'd be home for New Years Eve."

"Well, we should really make the most of it, shouldn't we?"

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December 28th, 1942- Toccoa, Georgia

As it approached 11.30 p.m, April couldn't sleep. Just knowing that he was in the house, that he was sleeping downstairs on the family sofa. She might've been just shy of 20 years old, but she was fast learning that love was anything but simple, like the fairy tales of her childhood years would've led her to believe. Every girl should grow up to believe that she is the Cinderella of her own life, to believe that her own Prince Charming is waiting for her. Someone hadn't quite explained to her the fact that, in her world, Amy was the Cinderella. April, by contrast, was realising that she herself was the sister who loves Prince Charming just as much, but for whom the glass slipper doesn't quite fit. She groaned, thoughts like that spinning round and round in her head. She rose out of bed, grabbed her dressing gown and crept downstairs, tiptoeing so as to not wake the slumbering household. She tiptoed past the living room and into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, pouring herself a cup of milk.

"Can't sleep?" David's voice came from behind her.

She whipped round to find him standing in the doorway, shorts and a t-shirt and his hair all dishevelled. She smiled timidly, very aware of being in her frayed, old dressing gown. She put a hand to her hair, trying to smooth it out. "No, not really. I just thought I'd get a glass of milk."

"Mind if I join you?" He asked, gingerly taking a seat at the kitchen table.

"Um…sure," She bit her lip, grabbing another glass from the shelf and filling it with milk. She set it down in front of him, sitting awkwardly down across from him.

"You really look different…in a good way, of course," He noted, taking a sip, one elbow on the table. "I'd say that New York agrees with you?"

"Oh, really?" She smiled, her face lighting up a little. "You think so?"

"I do," He nodded, setting his glass down. "Are you having fun out there?"

"I am…," She breathed, staring into his inquisitive eyes. "I think it's been really good for me."

"I'm glad," He smiled.

"You think I made the right decision?"

"Of course," He said, absent-mindedly drinking from his glass again. "Look at yourself!"

She smiled, looking down. "So…leaving tomorrow, huh?"

"Mmm hmm," He nodded wistfully. "Pity I couldn't stay longer."

"Well, you know," She looked down into the bottom of her glass, anywhere but at his eyes. "You have…commitments."

"Can I ask you something?" He asked.

"What?"

"Do you think she's doing alright?" He asked, worry in his eyes.

"Who?"

"Amy, of course," He shook his head at her with a brief smile before the worry lines set back in. "She seems a little…."

"Withdrawn?"

"Exactly," He nodded, gripping his glass. "I've never seen her look like that."

"What, in the long amount of time that you've spent in her presence?" She couldn't stop herself from uttering sarcastically. She winced at his surprised expression. "Sorry. I didn't mean that. I know what you meant though, she looks like she's been through a lot."

He simply nodded.

"Don't worry about her," April shrugged. "Amy's always been the strong one. Everyone knows it."

"Maybe we don't truly know who we are until we've been tested," He muttered, distractedly. "I hope she can take it."

April sighed, defeated. "You really care about her, don't you?"

"Does it show?" He laughed, rolling his eyes a little as he drained his glass.

………………………………………………

December 29th, 1942- Toccoa, Georgia

The family gathered in the front hall to say goodbye to David. Amy had her coat on by the front door, waiting to accompany him to the train station. He shook hands with Mr and Mrs White, bidding them goodbye once more. He turned to April, smiling at her. "Take care, April."

"Goodbye, David," She said quietly, taking one last look at him, a tear running down her cheek.

"Are you crying, April?" Amy asked, frowning.

"No," April said, quickly wiping away the tear. "Goodbyes are just sad, that's all."

The couple departed, leaving April standing alone in the front hall. She walked up to her bedroom, lay down on her bed…and wept.

…………………..

David and Amy stood by the train, its departure just minutes away.

He held her in his arms as he stroked the side of her face lovingly, wiping away at her tears. She hadn't expected to cry and felt foolish for doing so, but such is life. You can't control these things.

"So where does this leave us?" She asked, biting her lip.

"I suppose it leaves us where we were before…," He shrugged sadly.

"Letters?" She supplied the word.

"If you want to write to me, that is," He teased.

"Well, you know," She joked, leaning forward and placing a painstaking kiss on his lips. "If I can find the time."

He laughed, reaching into his knapsack and producing a book. "One thing before I go. I wanted to give you this."

She took it from him, surprised to see that it was the first edition of a Hemingway. "David…."

"I got this when I was a kid," He said, wrapping his arms around her again. "…and I'd really like to know that it's in safe hands whilst I'm away."

The gesture spoke volumes. The conductor signalled that the train was about to depart so, before she lost him possibly for forever, she pulled him in for one last kiss.

…………………….

Amy made her way home, teary-eyed, and upstairs into her bedroom. She found Amy sitting in front of the bureau, fixing her hair.

Amy said on the bed, trying to cheer herself up. She signalled over to April. "Do you want to go and see that movie tonight?"

"No," April shook her head. "I'm going out with Ruthie tonight."

"Oh," Amy's face fell. "It's just I could really use some company tonight, you know, since he left and all."

"Well I'm going out with Ruthie," April couldn't stop herself from snapping back, her. She put a hand to her mouth, instantly regretting it.

"Oh great," Amy stood up, fists clenched and her temper flaring. "Are we back to this? Back to being at each other's throats?"

April turned on her heel, storming out of the room.

Amy stood rooted to the spot, her fists clenched. She could feel her blood boiling, all of the events of the day catching up on her and plus now April's sudden turn of behaviour. She fanned her face, trying to calm down. Okay, calm down, she thought to herself, breathing deeply. Relaxing the only way she knew how, she soaked in the tub for an hour. Putting on her dressing gown, she walked back into the bedroom, drying her wet hair with a towel. She sat on her bed, whistling as she looked around the room. Her eyes fell on a small book lying on top of April's dresser. Intrigued, she picked it up, running her fingers over the satin material covering it. She flipped open the front page, looking at the inscription on the inside: So you'll always remember how it all started…. Judy x. The infamous Judy, she thought to herself as she flipped over to the next page, realising it was a photograph album. Immediately she recognised the soldiers in the diner, smiling fondly at the memories which, for her, had been shorter-lived than for her sister. She turned to the next page, looking at a picture of David reading, totally unaware that he was being photographed. She fingered his face gently, missing him already. As she turned the pages, she looked at all of the smiling faces. She frowned as she neared the end of the album. There sure were a lot of photographs of David in this photograph album, and in many of them he was doing nothing more than reading his book. She turned to the last one, one of him and April. He simply smiled in the photograph but she saw that April's eye peered slightly to the side, looking at him, a certain smile toying about her lips. Amy put a hand to her mouth, gasping in surprise. She knew that smile. Putting the photo album to one side, she covered her face with her hands, thinking. Suddenly it all made sense now. April's behaviour…. "Jeez…."

………………………………….

January 1st, 1943- Toccoa, Georgia

2 a.m.

"Happy New Year house!" Mrs White sang out to the front door as Mr. White fumbled with the front door key, each as tipsy on champagne as the other. The girls followed side by side behind the, the family having just returned from a New Years Eve celebration at the diner.

"Ssshhh Dear, you'll wake the neighbours!" Mr. White chastised, opening the door and ushering his family inside.

"Oh dear, am I being a little loud?" Mrs White giggled, a hand to her head. "Oh my, my head is…. I think I'd better be off to bed. Night everyone."

Kicking her shoes off and leaving them in a shambles by the front door, Mrs White staggered up the stairs. April and Amy, extremely sober, followed silently behind her to their bedroom. It had been an awkward evening. Amy had returned that morning from an impromptu visit to their grandparents' house, just in time for the evening celebration.

Inside the bedroom, both girls changed silently into their pyjamas.

"Why did you go to grandma's?" April blurted out, eager to make up for her outburst several days earlier. She finished buttoning up her pyjama top.

"I just had to get away for a few day," Amy said quietly, clearing her throat. "Think about some things."

"Everything clear now, whatever it was?" April asked, smiling amicably as she sat on the foot of her sister's bed.

Amy shrugged, leaning against the wardrobe. "I don't know yet."

"Well, what's the problem?" April asked, concerned. "Anything I can help you with?"

"Maybe…," Amy shrugged again, putting her hands on her hips. "We've always had a good instinct about each other, right?"

"Usually, I suppose," April shrugged, frowning. "Why? What do you mean?"

"I've been wondering about the way you've been acting the past few days, about what it is that's been troubling you. Then I saw that, and it all made sense to me," Amy pointed at the photo album, her voice growing a little quieter as she uttered the words. "David. You love him, don't you? Or, at least, you have feelings for him, right?"

April nearly fell off the bed in surprise at her sister's blunt question. "What?"

Amy cocked her head to one side. "You heard me, April."

April's face fell and her eyes filled with tears, her actions telling Amy everything she believed was right. All she could do was nod guiltily at her sister.

Taking a deep breath, Amy sat down a few spaces down on the bed, her hands lying awkwardly on her lap. "…for how long?"

"Since I…," April's voice caught in her throat. "…since I got to know him, I suppose."

"What?" Amy asked, her eyes wide with surprise as her head did the mental arithmetic. "So you mean…before he and I?"

April just nodded again, avoiding her sister's gaze. She couldn't bring herself to look her in the eye.

Amy sighed, her heart heavy. "April…why didn't you say anything? I mean, all of this could've been avoided…"

"You really think so?" April asked quietly. "You don't think it would've ended up like this either way? You don't think that the two of you were meant to be?"

"I don't know," Amy's shoulders drooped.

"We're in too deep now anyway, I guess," April said, forcing a small laugh as she looked at her sister, despite the fact that tears had begun to spill freely down her cheeks.

"I guess so," Amy weakly returned the smile, noticing for the first time how tortured April's face look. She put a hand to her sisters face, stroking her cheek. "This has really been eating you up, hasn't it?"

"I'm fine…," April tried to protest, but Amy knew the truth.

Both girls stared at each other for a moment, both of them crying by this.

"I don't like to see you like this, knowing that it's me who is causing you to be so.... If it makes you feel better I'll end all contact with…with him," Amy said, the words catching in her throat at the mere thought.

April shook her head insistently, grabbing at her sister's hands. "No, no. I don't want you to do that."

"But…," Amy protested.

"No," April insisted strongly. She wiped at her eyes, forcing a smile on her face. "Look, Amy. I want you to be happy…and he makes you happy. You make him happy too, I can tell. That's all that matters. Now this thing…these things that I'm feeling…I can control them."

"No," Amy refused. "I couldn't continue with this knowing how you feel about…I just couldn't."

"Please," April insisted. "Please don't put an end to it because of me. I couldn't stand being the cause of your unhappiness. I'll get over this. My Prince Charming is still out there…."

Fresh tears spilled down Amy's cheeks at these words. Although it was all so clear in her head, she nodded her head to keep the peace. "Alright."

"Okay?" April forced herself to smile, reaching forward and pulling her sister into a hug. "Good."

Amy took a deep breath, pulling back slightly from her sister and trying to lighten her mood. "Besides, you never know, I might never see him again after he's been deployed…."

Both girls frowned at the thought.

"So we're okay?" April asked tentatively.

"Of course…," Amy insisted, hugging her again. "I just want to know that you're alright…."

"I'm fine, I promise," April lied, smiling at her sister.

"I suppose that's all there is to say then," Amy said, awkwardly pretending to yawn. "Well, I suppose we should really…."

"Bed, right," April nodded, the atmosphere slightly awkward but at the same more at ease. As both girls got into their beds, April called back over. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Amy replied, reaching over and turning out the light on her bedside cabinet. She pulled the duvet around her shoulders, burying her head into the pillow as silent tears once again began to wet the fabric. She knew what she'd told April, and she could only hope that she'd bought it. It didn't matter what she'd said, what she'd told April. She loved her sister more than anything and the thought of her being unhappy at her expense made her feel positively sick. She wouldn't have her own sister feeling so unhappy, even if it meant…her stomach flipped…saying goodbye to him. Pulling the duvet tighter around her, she made her New Year's Resolution in her head that night. She vowed that she would stop all correspondence with David, that she wouldn't write to him as she'd promised she would. The thought of David and receiving his letters was one of the only things helping her get through that rigorous nurse training…but she knew that she had to forget him, for her sister. Discreetly as possible, she wept into her pillow.

April, just metres away, pulled her own duvet around her shoulders. She was surprised she'd been able to convince Amy that her feelings for David could be so fleeting. What else was she supposed to do? Amy was her sister. Resolved, she too made her New Year's Resolution in her bed that night. She vowed that she'd forget him somehow, that she'd move on…for Amy's sake. She, too, wept herself to sleep that night.

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