Chapter 12 Don't Play with Fire…

I struggled under her massive grip; fortunately I was able to go for long periods of time without breathing. If I were full human I would be unconscious or more than likely dead from a snapped neck or lack of oxygen.

"This is completely your fault you know" she said as if she truly regretted what she was doing. My arms smacked and whaled wildly trying to unclench her hand from around my throat to no avail, my feet dangling frantically in search of the ground that seemed to be moving further and further away; my strength did not compare to that of a vampire of her magnitude.

"You could have just simply walked out of the door, but no…" she continued

As I used every ounce of my strength to loosen her hold; my eye caught the sparkle of my diamond engagement ring. Seeing the ring; embedded the thought in my head that I was not going to let this happen, I was not going to leave Jacob without anyone, I was not going to leave Jacob without me.

If I were to die-selfishly I thought- where ever… it… is that I would go after death I didn't want to be there… not if it meant I couldn't be with Jacob everyday, breathing, feeling, loving him.

She shook her head back and forth "I honestly don't see what he sees in you, but to each his own I guess" she didn't move an inch as if I weren't using all of my might to fight against her.

Suddenly, I dropped to the floor crashing to the wood. Human eyes would not have been able to keep up with the struggle. I could barely see what was going on.

Whoever this 'blur' of a person-a vampire obviously- was, was strong enough to force the mystery vampire to release me.

This mystery vampire was suddenly swung in the air her back smashing into the window, shattering it into millions of pieces. She quickly jumped up to only be thrown out side slamming against a tree.

I got up slowly as I heard the struggle, my eyes trying to focus on who had come and saved me; this person who I now owed everything too. As quickly as I registered his scent I saw his face.

Nahuel

I was in shock; he was half mortal like myself, how was he capable of fighting a full blown vampire. Before I could truly process what I was witnessing, the mystery vampire blazed behind Nahuel grabbing him by his neck, then turning him towards herself. She had a grip on his neck like she had on mine just moments before.

I couldn't bare to watch, my instincts were to go out there to help him. He couldn't get hurt I wouldn't allow it.

"That was very rude of you" she scolded mockingly "…well maybe this will teach you a lesson"

She extended her arm as high as it could possibly go; Nahuel hanging like a rag doll I couldn't watch this she couldn't kill him. She can't.

"No, Nahuel!" I screamed as I ran off the porch "Please don't hurt him please"

The mystery vampire-still holding Nahuel high in the air- looked at me, then back at Nahuel.

"Did she say Nahuel?" she asked him. He didn't respond, he was obviously holding on to whatever air he'd saved in his lungs.

"Well…I guess you win this time, Joham certainly wouldn't let me lay a finger on you" she was highly upset, still holding him in the air. She sighed and then dropped him to the ground. As soon as he hit the ground he ran to me blocking me from her reach.

"Oh, you misunderstood, she still comes with me" she said assuredly.

"Well, then I guess Joham is going to be pretty mad that you killed me because that's the only way you are getting to her" Nahuel hissed, I'd never seen this side of him, it was scary. He was very much a vampire.

The nameless vampire looked at Nahuel. She was definitely contemplating.

"Hmm, I guess I'll take my chances…she… will… be coming with me" as soon as the words left her lips we heard deep growls, so loud they shook the ground. I looked up to see three gigantic wolves slowly moving in closely.

If I am not mistaken I am pretty sure I saw fear glint across the nameless vampires face.

"What the hell is…"

Before she could continue the first wolf-probably Leah- lunged towards the nameless vampire. At that same moment the vampire lurched throwing Leah a few yards.

Before she could regroup the other werewolves-probably Paul and Seth- flew forward one gripping their teeth around her arm. A low menacing hiss escaped her throat.

She was able to maneuver out of the clenched teeth, flipping backwards and before my eyes could register what was happening she was gone.

The wolves stood there, for a quick moment -they stared at me almost apologetic it seemed- before they darted off after her.

"It's ok, it's not your fault…Thank you" I whispered unsteadily; I was sure they didn't hear me. I knew they felt responsible for not being here sooner but they shouldn't feel that way…it wasn't there fault.

The overwhelming feeling of relief and the over abundance of fear that lingered through my body caused me to feel weak.

I breathed in deeply before turning to Nahuel.

I cried into his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his neck and collapsing all of my weight on to him. It felt familiar to be in his arms. Part of me wanted to stay there, to not move an inch from him.

"Thank you" I cried "Thank you"

"Stop" he said softly as he hugged me back

"Nahuel…I …" I didn't know what I wanted to say but whatever it was needed to be said

"Nessie, everything is ok, you don't have to cry" he said as I was still gripped to him

"She is scared of the wolves, she's never seen anything like them before…she won't come back…" his voice wavered at the end; I knew that wasn't the end of that sentence. I pulled my head back from him so I could read his face, and then comprehension slowly settled in.

I remembered what she said about Joham planning on coming next week, how she'd commented on fighting. My mind couldn't wrap around the fact that this would never be over until Joham got what he wanted, which was me.

"She wont come back…alone" I whispered, anger and fear had full possession of my body.

"Yes" Nahuel said calmly "But we will be ready"

He placed both of his hands on either side of my face and a bolt of energy pulsed through me. There was absolutely no way he didn't feel it too.

I let my hands drop to my sides as I peered into his trusting eyes.

"Everything is going to be ok Renesmee…No one…is going to hurt you" his breath tickled my skin as his words had no bearings over me. I just stared in his eyes; the back of my mind wondering what it was that caused me to feel this way around him.

My mind was elsewhere; I felt this uncomfortable indescribable feeling in my chest. Fluttering in my stomach; a certain realization was washing over me. Everything seemed to be blocked out I could only focus on Nahuel.

Before I could stop-before I could realize if I wanted to stop- I leaned in and my lips were softly pressed against Nahuel's.

There was no protagonist or antagonist there was no struggle, just a simple magnet that pulled me towards him.

It was so different yet it felt right; this soft delicate kiss did not need rehearsal or any thought behind it to match its action…it just… was.

It was hard to remember much, it was hard to want to remember much. But as quickly as my impulse allowed me to kiss Nahuel a similar wave of reality swept through me, clearing my mind of all the fog.

Jacob.

I pulled away quickly the look of shock on my face, the feeling of betrayal and disappointment conquering every inch of me.

"Jacob" Nahuel said lowly.

"I'm sorry I…" before I could finish Nahuel shook his head and looked behind me. At that same moment I heard Jacob pulling into the drive. I spun around to see Jacob hopping out of his car, leaving Billy still inside. He ran so quickly that I didn't get a chance to even look back at Nahuel first.

Nahuel just stared, I couldn't read his face, I couldn't detect shock or regret in his features. Though I felt shock and regret within myself. What was I thinking? This whole time I was worried about sending Nahuel the wrong message and I do this? I just stared wide eyed wishing I had the power to reverse time or much simpler have the power to control impulse.

"Nessie" Jacob exhaled as he wrapped me in his arms squeezing me tight.

"Nessie, what…how…Seth said…" he was struggling for words, he'd heard what happened from Seth and he felt responsible, the anger in his eyes was undeniable.

"I'm fine" I interrupted "Jake really" tears still visible on my face

"I knew I should have been here…I'm never leaving …" before Jacob finished his sentence he stopped and stared at Nahuel.

This was the first time Jacob looked at Nahuel and hate didn't glare across his face. Jacob was beyond upset but this time it wasn't because of his dislike for Nahuel

"Nahuel…you saved her…I…" Jacob began

"No need for that" Nahuel said plainly, no emotion in his voice. I couldn't even make eye contact with him... I was such a coward.

There was a long moment of silence, before Jacob turned back towards me. He grabbed both of my hands "I'm so sorry" I could see he was trying to calm himself down, I knew it was taking everything in his being not to go out and find that vampire right at this second.

Jacob slowly lifted my left hand and kissed it, and at the same time I heard Nahuel breathe in a slight gust of air as if he were in shock. I finally looked at him to see pure pain riddled on his face.

"I have to go" Nahuel said abruptly; then I realized what was wrong. He saw a flawlessly beautiful diamond ring glistening from my ring finger. I snatched my hand from Jacobs hold in an attempt to explain…I didn't know how and what I was going to explain but he couldn't just walk away

"Nahuel wait!" I yelled as he stormed by me, he moved too quickly for me to try and grab his arm like I attended to. If I had been able to stop him I didn't know what I would say with Jacob standing right there.

"Nahuel" I screamed again but he was gone, I just stared; a tear slowly falling down my cheek. It took a moment for me to realize that I hadn't moved, I felt sick that I was capable of hurting so many people that I cared about all at the same time.

I finally turned around to see Jacob standing there as still as a statue, his face was covered in anger, concern and pain.

"What was that about" he asked; his voice low and unsteady. Jacob sensed it, Jacob saw it, Jacob knew at that moment how strong my feelings were for Nahuel.

"Jacob I…" before I could continue I heard my name I turned around quickly at the sound of that voice, that voice had been the voice I was waiting to hear for so long.

"Mom…Dad" I cried out, at the same moment I was buried in my mothers arms, my tears drenching her shirt.

My eyes were closed; I just wanted to block out everything and just savior this moment.

I felt ice cool lips press against my forehead "Sweetheart" I heard my father say. This was my normal; this is what had to be a constant in my life.

"Baby…" for a second I thought my mother was crying; if that was only possible.

Everything was a blur of happiness and reconciliation.

For nearly ten hours my mother and father, grandparents, uncles and aunts, Seth and Paul all discussed what had happened over these last days, the Volturi, all of Aunt Alice's visions, Joham, this new nameless vampire…everything. We were all on the same page now.

Jacob had left out with Leah for a while before they both came in. Anger was plastered blatantly on Jacob's face; he didn't say much nor did I. We didn't even make eye contact, I felt so detached I wanted to run over to him and force him to believe that I didn't have feelings for Nahuel, but I would be lying through my teeth.

What had I done? I never thought I would be capable of hurting Jacob like this but I had. He was mad at what he thought …could…happen not knowing what had actually happened.

I needed to tell him the truth he deserved that much from me. I felt worthless at this point like I didn't deserve him or Nahuel, or this family or anything for the matter. My existence was hindering everyone's lives and it wasn't fair.

"We couldn't smell her, she didn't smell like a vampire…it's like she was able to conceal her scent" Seth said

"I never heard of anything like it" grandpa Carlisle said looking puzzled.

"A vampire can cover their scent? I didn't think that was possible" my mother quizzed.

"She is not your typical vampire" Alice chimed in "I don't get her, I don't see how she has so many abilities and is still so young"

"Well we do know one thing" my father interjected "She is apparently terrified of wolves"

Paul punched Seth in the shoulder "Who wouldn't be" he joked

"But we are lucky Nahuel came when he did though" grandma Esme said softly.

And I froze, hearing Nahuel's name brought back that kiss, that feeling I had when I was with him and then the sudden regret and betrayal that was taking over my senses. My father's eyes darted to me as he read my thoughts…the thoughts that I had been so carefully concealing until now.

We held eye contact for a moment as he saw –almost everything; I still had control over not thinking about me and Jacobs's engagement-everything that transpired right before they came. I was ashamed and embarrassed so I didn't try to hide my kiss with Nahuel, I deserved to feel this way, and it wasn't enough punishment.

"Where is Nahuel?" my mom directed towards me

"Umm, I…"

"Bella, I think we should all go to the main house" my father interrupted, I looked at him appreciatively.

After a moment of hugs and kisses and my mother arguing with my father that I should come along with them-claiming it was for my protection when in all actuality it was because it was too hard to leave me so quickly after coming back- It was Jacob and I sitting in my living room.

Complete silence.

"Jacob" I said lowly. He didn't respond

"I know that you are upset with me but before…"

"You know what Nessie, I was going to try… but I don't want to hear it" I thought I heard and seen it all but this was the most upset I'd ever seen him. How was I going to tell him about the kiss if he was already this mad?

"Ok, I understand but …"

"Ness, you don't get it"

I looked at him confused; we'd gotten into arguments before but this felt different this felt like the winner of the argument was already declared.

"How about I make it easier for you" he pressed "Just show me you kissing Nahuel so you can clear your conscience" he snapped

I froze, I knew in just moments everything I was dreading was going to happen

"If you want to show me, I mean everything is so that you feel better, so that you can live with yourself right?" his voice was scary I wanted to be invisible at this moment.

"Jacob what happened…" I began to say as the tears rimmed out of my eyes; but he interrupted me

"Leah already told me everything…does that ring mean anything to you?" his voice was almost booming through the house.

"Jake" I said through tears "I'm sorry…"

"You're sorry…Nessie you are always sorry" he stood up "It's not that easy anymore"

I stood up beside him; I felt like a frightened child, I wanted to cower in a corner somewhere. But Jacob was right, I was always hurting him and expecting 'sorry' to be enough.

"I can't even look at you right now" he said painfully, his eyes close to producing tears

"You know how hard it is to not want to be around you Nessie? It kills me to go but now its killing me to stay…you don't realize the hold you have on me, the love I have for you…you just walk all over it"

His words cut me like the sharpest of knives, It was hard to argue how much I truly loved him after looking at what I did, but he couldn't truly think I didn't love him he couldn't honestly think I could… be, breathe survive without him.

"No Jacob, listen…"

"You keep pushing me away…pushing and pushing Nessie. If I have to hurt myself and go against nature to give you what you obviously want, then I will"

I didn't understand what he was saying; his eyes fell to the ring on my finger.

"I won't ever be far, you don't have to be scared you're always going to be protected but …this…I can't do, not now"

"Wait, Jacob…what?" what he was saying was starting to set in.

"You can…" he stopped and took a deep breath before continuing "…you can keep the ring"

And then he was gone. I heard a loud crash that was obviously Jacob phasing.

At the moment I thought I would die, my heart was literally ripped out of my chest. I would not let reality set in. Jacob did not leave me, this engagement wasn't off I was repeating this in my head as I stood there sobbing.

I couldn't move I couldn't speak; I let him walk out of my future. I hurt him to a point of no return.

I felt empty in a literal sense, I felt like there wasn't enough air in the room. I was dizzy and hot; my heart pounding against my ribs erratically.

"Jacob" I cried out loudly I knew in my mind he wasn't coming back, not for the reasons I wanted but I still called out for him as tears flew rapidly down my cheeks.

"Jacob…please" my voice was strained, my voice wasn't mine; my voice belonged to desperation.

"I'm so sorry, please Jacob…please" I sobbed not moving one inch from where I was standing.

I don't know how long I stood there, but finally my limbs grew weak from grief, I sucked in quick gusts of air; I believe I was beginning to hyperventilate. Everything around me didn't exist. The house and the rooms didn't exist, the sky and the moon didn't exist, without Jacob everything was a cloud of black smoke, without Jacob nothing had meaning.

Without Jacob I didn't have meaning…I didn't exist.