One More, Always More
She watched them evolve into what the world saw them- Guns N' Roses. And whether she was there or not, she felt each step of their victory to success along with the fouls that they battled through. To her, no matter what happened or how many covers took their place, they will always be Guns N' Roses, forever and ever.
12
Fire Up
1992
Her head was spinning, the band and Nicole had been so busy that she hardly spoke to them anymore but the local news was buzzing with the activity of Guns N Roses. From Axl's publicly speaking out on a concert about the band needing to stop playing around with "Mr Brownie" to the most recent. The recent news brought tears to Nicole's eyes, she knew that it was coming but to have it actually happen was another thing – Izzy had officially left the band.
It took her a couple of hours before she could finally pick up the phone and call Duff, she had already tried Izzy and the call had rang out. Duff had picked up on the first ring, his gruff voice coming through the line. "Hello…"
"Duff?" Just saying his name almost brought the tears back.
"That you Nicky?" His voice held humour but it was laced with tiredness.
"Is it true about Izzy?" She whispered the question, hoping he would somehow tell her that the media was simply creating some bullshit.
"Christ Nicole, I was going to call you but I..."
"I don't want to believe it either." She finished his sentence for him and her response was a shuttering breath on the other end of the phone.
"We're just hanging you know? We don't really know what to do, Iz was one of us and we still have a tour to complete."
"How are you going?"
"Alright." She could just picture him shrugging his shoulders. "I've got the others."
"You want me to come up?"
"I think it would be best if you stayed there, everyone's on a bit of an edge. But I'll have you on the road with us as soon as we get…sorted out." Duff's words did hurt her a bit - she wanted to be there for them. On the other half of the scale, Nicole needed to be with them to confirm that the other guys were still there.
"I'll hold you to that McKagan." Her tone stern as she leaned against the wall of her lounge.
"Wouldn't have it any other way Adler." She could hear a hint of a smile in his voice that reflected the one of her face.
That phone call had been in 1991, those past few years had some rough patches in them because Izzy wasn't the only original player to leave the band. Her brother Steven had got so caught up in heroin and broken his contract with the band that he lost his spot as the Gunners drummer. Matt Sorum had taken his place and Nicole had yet to meet the drummer or the new rhythm guitarist.
Again, Nicole found herself on a plane heading upstate for the Gunner's new album – Use Your Illusion tour – at least this time she was staying in the country. It wasn't just the players in the band that had shifted, to Nicole's disappointment, Slash and Renee were still together but there had been no mention of a wedding which put her at ease.
Though Izzy wasn't a part of the band anymore, Nicole still liked to keep in contact with him because no matter what anyone said – Izzy would forever be the best rhythm guitarist Guns N' Roses could ever have. And to top it off, he was one of her friends so leaving the band as much as she disagreed with the idea is what he wanted, she wouldn't try to force anything upon him. As of the present, he was happy traveling the coast of America with Rebecca and having some 'care free time' as Izzy liked to call it. Nicole wasn't so sure of the woman, their bus driver back in Brazil but Rebecca had turned out to be great for their dreadlock friend.
As the planes wheels touched down, Nicole felt her stomach launch forward at the landing, not helping her already anxious nerves about meeting the new members'. When she entered the airport, instead of looking for the usual straight blonde hair of Kelly, she had to search for the fluffy mess that poked out the sides. It wasn't hard to find the giant with his black cowboy hat and boots, what took her by surprise was seeing the bulky man beside him – Roger was the man's name, Duffs body guard for on tour. "Nicky!" Duff threw his arm around her shoulder. "By god it's good to finally see you again."
"I take it you missed me." Nicole replied with excitement.
"Hell yeah!" Duff grabbed the handle of her suitcase while Nicole carried her backpack.
"So what are the newbies like?" She asked nervously, wanting to find out as much as possible before actually meeting them.
"They're cool, down to earth type of guys. Clarke is great on the guitar, his a good laugh. Did I mention that we have another member?"
"Ahh…no." She raised an eyebrow at the blonde.
Duff rolled his eyes at the woman exaggeration. "We now have a key broad player, his name is Dizzy."
"God, what else have you forgotten to tell me before we actually get to the hotel?" They got into the back seat of a car, Roger taking the wheel.
"There's more in the band than just us now, we have all sorts of people on instruments from tambourines to singers."
"I imagine that Slash wasn't too pleased." She knew that the man liked the rock n roll feel to the band, he would no doubt think instruments such as 'tambourines' would ruin their atmosphere.
"Correct you are Nicky." Duff took his cowboy hat off and placed it on his leg before running his band through his hair. "Axl and Slash seemed to be at each other's throats in the making of this album. Slash was the one to find Clarke, I got the impression Axl wasn't too happy about that either."
"And when Axl has a problem with something, he doesn't keep it a secret." Nicole knew Axl all too well. He never once held back when they hang out, telling everyone exactly what he thought, at least with the man there was no bullshit, he comes straight out with it.
When they arrived at the hotel, Duff took them straight to the elevator onto the thirty-fourth floor and made his way confidently down the hallway. "They're all in the practice room, or at least that was where they were when I left them to get you."
"Where am I sleeping?" Nicole asked, following behind him with her wheelie suitcase.
"With Renee." Duff's words pulled Nicole to a standstill in the hallway, staring at his back trying to figure out if the bassist was telling the truth.
"You're kidding right?" At Nicole's question, Duff turned around on his heel with a large smile planted on his face – he was joking. "Do not say that again, soo not funny." She continued walking to catch up to the giant. "Seriously, where am I sleeping?"
"My room."
"After what happen last time?" She couldn't help but feel nervous, she didn't want a repeat.
"That was like five years ago Nicky." Duff replied, making Nicole realise just how fast life had gotten away from them. "And Slash would rather you sleep in my room then with Clarke or Matt."
"I'd rather stay in your room, no way into hell am I staying with Renee."
"And I only have to put up with you for a couple of weeks."
"Put up with me?" Nicole asked in disbelief. "You're the troublesome one."
"We'll see about that, all the drama happens with you Nicky." Duff caught her in a head lock just as the door they had stopped at opened, revealing a surprise curly head man.
"You must be Nicole." He said like it all made sense.
"Nicky, meet Matt." Duff introduced with her head still located near his armpit.
"Nice meeting you." Nicole flashed Matt with a smile as if she wasn't been held in an awkward position.
Matt stepped to the side, having trouble with keeping the grin off his face as the two walked into the room to the couch with Nicole still been held by Duff. "Good to see you two will never grow up." Said Axl with his own smile at the pair.
"How are you Axl?" Nicole let out a sign at the uncomfortable position of her neck while sitting.
"Better then you from the look of it." Axl never really got along with Nicole, she was to straight and narrow for him but it was good to see a familiar face after the last few years.
"Hey Slash." Nicole said with greeting, not missing the way her heart went into overdrive at the sight of the leather pants hugging his body and the usual curly mass pulled back to keep cool from the summer heat. "And Renee." She smiled at the woman, receiving a small wave. Nicole didn't like Renee but she wanted to stay on the woman's good side because she had no doubt that if Nicole made one fucked up move that Renee would be trying to keep Slash and her apart and that, Nicole wouldn't be able to deal with.
"Heard you've now upgraded to a manager at the hospital." Slash said, surprising Nicole that he had somehow found out about her new position at work.
"Yep, I get to boss everyone around." Nicole teased as Duff finally let go of her head to grab for a drink.
"You did that anyway don't you?" Axl joked.
"Don't pretend you don't like that type of foreplay Axl." She sat back grinning from ear to ear as laughter surrounded her.
"Have you met Gilby yet?" Slash said as the laughter died down.
It wasn't until Slash mentioned the new rhythm guitarist that she notice the two new bodies that she had yet to be introduced too- she gathered one was Clarke and the other Dizzy.
Axl got up, putting his arm around a man with long brown hair. "This is our man Dizzy, the Guns N Roses key broadest."
"We've heard a lot about you Nicky." Dizzy said in greeting.
"Hope it's all good stuff." Nicole said before taking a sip of Duff's drink.
"Oh I don't know about that." The other guy who Nicole gathered was Gilby Clarke, he was looking in-between Duff and Slash with a mysteries grin.
"Do I even want to know?" She questioned the three blokes.
Duff winced before answering, shrugging his shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. "I don't think it should be mentioned, or you won't be able to look the guys in the face."
"No, I want to know now." Nicole's curiosity was creeping in to what the men could have possibility spoken about.
"Nicky..." Slash warned, he knew his ass was on the line and she wouldn't be too impressed with him.
"What was it?" Nicole persisted.
"Duff mentioned that you've done one on one with another woman." Matt said, making Nicole's cheeks turn slightly dark at reminding that experimenting night in her teen years.
"Is that all?" Nicole asked, she could live with them knowing that but they better not expect any repeats.
"It may have been mentioned that your favourite position in sex-" Nicole jumped up from the couch, stopping Clarke from saying any further.
"Ok, ok, I don't need to know what you men talk about." Nicole picked up her luggage. "I'm going to find Duff's room." She stated, leaving the men to it.
"Room forty." Duff shouted at her from the couch as she got to the doorway, laughter following behind her and turning her cheeks a brighter red.
It wasn't until their first show, sitting backstage watching them preform did Nicole realise that it was just Renee and her left. There was no more Kelly who knew the ins and out of the concert, even the presence of Rebecca would have been nice instead of been stuck next to Renee, a woman she despised for having everything that she couldn't.
It wasn't just the company sitting stiffly in the chair beside her, it was also the music. Yes, Guns N Roses played the same songs, same notes but the way each player played their music was different. Matt was a good drummer, he just didn't have the animalistic behaviour that came through in her brothers drumming. It reminded Nicole of Rebecca's comment when Fred had to cover for Steven when he broke his hand. And Nicole wasn't sure what it was, but even the simple stringing of the guitar between Clarke and Izzy was different. It made her feel the first wave of homesickness. It made her realise that it didn't matter that the notes were written the same on the page, there could never be two artists who can played the same, everyone sounded different to the original.
It seemed the music wasn't the only thing changing in the band, when they finally came off stage it didn't go unnoticed by Nicole the shooting glancing between one of the back-up singers and Duff before he made his way to her. "You're just full of surprises McKagan."
Duff's eyebrows shot up as his eyes focused on Nicole beside him. "What cha mean?"
"First Izzy, now you're getting love sick on me." She teased, getting a roll of the eyes from Duff.
"Please, love sick? Think you have me mixed up with someone else Adler." The pair followed the band back stage to the lounge to chill for the remainder of the night. "You and your girly fantasies."
Nicole punched the side of Duff's arm before taking a seat beside Clarke. "You did good Clarky."
"Thank you your majesty." Clarke said sarcastically, not enjoying the nickname.
The sudden squeal from across the room caught the attention of everyone, Renee was grinning from ear to ear. "We're going to get married!" Renee's excited voice run through the lounge making Nicole's stomach launch forward and look over to Slash, meeting his gaze before glancing intensely at her hands. It had been a few years since the couple had admitted to thoughts of married, Nicole thought that over the years the idea had thinned out but apparently not.
"Like now?" Axl questioned, seeming kind of unsure.
"Next week?" Renee said, glancing in Slash direction to get the confirmed nod.
"Its great timing, everyone is here." Slash stated.
"Wow, congratulations man." Matt was the first one to step over and pat Slash on the back before giving Renee a quick kiss on the cheek to congratulate the couple. Axl and Clarke followed Matt's actions, each man chatting with Slash.
"You alright?" Duff took Clarkes recent vacant seat, whispering to Nicole. She could only nod her head 'yes' because she knew her voice would give her away as her throat tightened up and her eyes felt itchy. "Nicole..?" She simple shook her head and stood up, stepping out of Duff's arms and started down the hallways.
Nicole found herself a couple of the black storage boxes backstage, hidden from the public's eyes. She climbed on top of one, leaned her back against the brick wall as her thoughts wouldn't sway from Slash – her body felt exhausted about everything. She leaned her head on her knees, taking deep breaths to calm down.
"Ash, you coming?" A high pitched feminie voice asked nearby.
There were footsteps close by but Nicole tried to ignore them and concertante on her deep breathing. "Ahh…nah you go ahead Sarah." A slightly deeper voice answered sounding nearby, so close that Nicole finally opened her eyes and found herself staring at the blue eyed blonde back-up singer from earlier.
Hesitantly, the woman stepped closer like Nicole was a wild animal. "Are you alright?" She had a red jacket over her arm and handbag over her shoulder, obviously ready to go home for the night and yet, she was standing in front of Nicole like she cared about her wellbeing.
"Men." Was Nicole's simple answer and the woman nodded as if the one word explained everything.
"They can be real jerks at times." The woman adding her own opinion to the topic. "Oh, I'm Ashely by the way and your Clarkes girl right?"
"Names Nicole." A frown settling on Nicole's face at the sudden relationship statues put to her name. "And as far as I know, Clarke and I aren't a thing."
"Oh sorry." Ashely leaned against the wall, looking like she wasn't going anywhere fast and Nicole was alright with that – it was good to talk to another woman. "If you don't mind me asking, which man are we talking about? I gathered you're with one of them because you're here." The woman simply stated, not knowing anything about the other blonde.
"Actually, I've know the band before anyone else knew who they were." Ashley raised her eyebrows in question, not sure if she believed the woman because many girls would say that. "They use to play in my garage after school." When the woman still didn't seem to believe her, Nicole pulled out her ID and handed it over. "I'm Steven Adler's younger sister."
"Holy shit." The woman checked out the card in astonished. "Sorry, fan girls are always trying every trick in the book." Ashely handed back the card, a sudden spark of curiously in her eyes. "So you have known the guys for a long time."
"Correct." Nicole said, thinking how much everything had changed. "Which brings me to the twisted relationship with Slash." She instantly watched the other woman's shoulders relax at hearing the man's name.
"Slash, not Duff?" Ashely asked before trying to backtrack. "You just seemed close to Duff was all."
"Duff is a great guy, one of my best friends but never anything else."
"Yet Slash is?" Ashley was slightly confused, she'd seen Slash and Renee around each other.
"We dated before he went on his first tour, we kinda went downhill after that."
"I've only ever seen him with Renee. If you're so close to the guys how hasn't the media gotten to you?" Ashely questioned.
"I spend my time between the band and the hospital, keep to myself most the time." Nicole continued to assess the woman in front of her, Ashely seemed like a down to earth woman. "You know, we're going out for drinks tonight, want to come?"
"Really?" Ashely wasn't sure what to make of the sudden invitation.
"Yeah, it will be good to have another girl around." Nicole pushed herself off the storage boxes and looped her arm with Ashley's to make their way to the lounge.
When the two woman entered the lounge, it was exactly as Nicole had left it. Duff was the first one to notice their presence, his worried eyes going to Nicole before they caught sight of Ashely beside her. "I'm guessing we're going out for drink tonight to congratulate the two?" Nicole questioned, nodding her head to Renee and Slash.
"Drinks are in order!" Clarke agreed, getting up from the couch with Axl following his example to the vehicles.
They managed to find themselves a club a couple of blocks over, the astrosphere between everyone raised instantly with the pumping music and flashing lights. Matt found them a table to fit the group, Nicole somehow getting squeezed between Duff and Clarke. "You want a drink Nicky?" Duff yelled in her ear and received a nodded 'yes' before repeating the question to Ashley on his other side.
It didn't take long for the bottles to become empty, the shot glasses in the same state. Duff soon had Ashley up on her feet and on the dance floor, Nicole could only smile at the pair with their large smiles. "You want to dance?" Clarke asked her, yelling over the music. For some reason, her eyes flickered straight to Slash, who wasn't paying any attention to her except for his fiancé sitting beside him so Nicole nodded her head to Gilby.
She moved out of the lounge seat and waited for Gilby to follow suit before making their way to the dance floor, not far from Duff and Ashley. Nicole danced away, actually feeling the stressful events of lately leaving her mind as she continued to dance crazily with Clarke. The man was respectful, never once was there wandering hands just purely thrilling. Nicole had gotten so loose that night, she couldn't even remember how she ended up back in Duff's bedroom until she asked Clarke the next day with a painful hangover.
It was the week of the wedding that things started to get interesting around the band. For some unknown reason – there was rumours that Alan their manager was ripping the band off though who knows if it was true – Axl had fired Alan on the spot one afternoon when the two got into a heated argument about the concert. No one knows exactly what had been said between the two men as neither would talk about it, the only response was Axl cursing Alan's name from Hell and back. The rest of the band wasn't too happy about the new outcome but they carried on as pre-usual, they were on tour and looking for a new manager, the assistant manager taking the role at the current state.
Unfortunately for Nicole, she was spending more time with Renee than she wished and at one of the concerts Nicole couldn't help but speak her mind. "You better treat him right." Her tone warning, her eyes glued to the Slash doing his solo for "November Rain".
"This coming from the woman who is constantly messing with his head." The venom in Renee's voice surprised Nicole. "I'm more observant than you think Adler. And I promise you, I'm not going to put him through the hell you did."
Renee's words left Nicole silent, she wasn't sure how to respond to such a comment. Nicole went through some withdrawal problems when the band had left and her relationship with Slash was stressed but she had been too focused on herself to ever think about how Slash would have coped. She wondered why Duff had never said anything to her about Slash if he had gotten so bad. "I think I'm going to take an early night." Nicole said under her breath before leaving the stage and making her way to the taxi rank to catch a lift to the hotel.
In a few days it would be the wedding, Duff was laid back on his bed staring at ceiling while Nicole got dressed, their conversation topic – Ashely.
"You should just ask her to the wedding." Nicole simple answered, making a groan slip from the older man.
"That could give out the wrong message." Duff could already imagine the woman making their wedding plans.
"She seems like a down to earth woman, just give it a go."
"No." Was Duff's straight out answer.
"Are you afraid of commitment?" Nicole questioned. Duff merely shook his head and she stared at him, trying to figure out why he wouldn't give Ashley a chance. "You must really like her." She joked but got no comment back from the man. "Oh my god, you do!"
"Just leave it alone Nicky." Duff begged.
"Oh you are not getting out that easy mister."
"I'm fine how I am."
"Grow some balls and ask her out McKagan." Nicole declared, getting a pillow thrown at her head for questioning his man hood.
"I'll see what I can do." Duff finally got up from the bed, grabbing a towel to his way to the bathroom.
"Use your charming personality on her." Nicole teased and put her jacket on to go for a walk.
"Don't forget about the bachelor party!" Duff shouted from the bathroom.
"The bachelor party is meant for you guys!" She yelled back.
"Your practically one of us! Be back in time Nicole!" Duff said before starting the water on his shower.
Nicole closed the hotel door behind her, muttering under her breath. She was always consisted being one of guys and yet sometimes she wished they would realise she was woman, a bachelor party didn't sound like the most enjoyable thing with five wild men.
She wasn't really looking forward to the bachelor party, on the other hand there was no way she wasn't going to Renee's hen party. The woman had invited her but Nicole had the suspension it was merely Slash's doing that Renee had even bothered, so instead of hanging out with a group of catty women she was going to spend the night out with her boys.
She knocked on Slash's door, already knowing the guys were in there from the loud noise coming from the room. Matt opened the door, a large grin splitting across his face and a bottle of Slash's favourite JD in his hand. "Look who finally showed up." He stepped aside to let her in.
"Didn't think you were going to show." Axl commented from the side of the room, a police hat tipped forward on his head. Nicole simply flipped the man off, making him laugh.
"So what's it going to be, a club or…." Gilby asked, a cheeky grin coming to his face that started to appear on every other male face in the room. "Let's get started!" He yelled, rubbing his hands together.
They made their way down to the reception where a limo was waiting for them, wolf whistles of excitement coming from the group. Nicole got in last, seeming the most sober out of the group – her best bet was they had started early in the afternoon.
Clarke and Axl stood up, opening the sun roof on the limo and howling at everyone they saw on the streets while Duff and Slash hooked into the mini bar. "Nicky, you seem a little to put together." Duff handed her a drink, she wasn't sure what was in it but she could guess vodka. Without thinking too much into it, Nicole drank down the glass with her face screwing up. Her facial expression received a comment from Duff. "You're growing old Nic."
"We're are we headed?" Nicole asked, trying to ignore the jab at her ability to drink.
"You'll see." Matt said from the corner, taking another sip from the bottle of Jack Daniels.
"Have another one." Slash handed her another glass, filled to the brim. She was going to argue until Slash flashed her a grin, she simply rolled her eyes and started on the drink.
"Is your goal tonight to make me drunk?"
"No…we believe that for everyone to have fun, they can't be cold sober." Was Duff's answer before he handed drinks to the two shouting men hanging out of the sun roof.
When they arrived to their destination, Nicole could see why the guys were getting her to consume alcohol in the limo because if she had a working brain, she would have grabbed a taxi home. Instead she followed them inside, passing under the bright lights of a lit up woman lifting her skirt. Inside wasn't much better, the room was mostly filled with men if one didn't include the women who were working on floor. Nicole should have known better, it was a bachelor's party – she'd been brought to a strip joint.
She followed the guys to a table, one that happened to be pretty close to the stage. A dark skinned woman came out in nothing but a G-string dancing to some metal music. "I think I need a strong drink." Nicole said, getting a laugh from Clarke as she made her way to the bar for something to get her through the night.
"What would you like?" The bartender asked.
Nicole thought about getting something sweet than remembered the last time she had gone out with the guys to the red light district. "A tall glass of Bacardi 15." The bartender raised his eyebrow in question, looking at her like she had grown a second head. "Please." She added on the end which sent the man into getting her drink.
She returned back to the table, thankfully the guys weren't the type to always have their eyes glued to the stage and could actually joke and talk. "Is that what I think it is?" Duff asked when she sat down at the table.
"Yep." She popped out the 'P'.
"Well tonight's going to be fun." A grin covering Duff's face as he watched Nicole take her first sip. He knew things could only get interesting with her drinking from a bottle of Bacardi because once the woman started there was no holding her back from refilling.
And Duff couldn't have predicted more right.
She could remember her head spinning, an arm around her waist as they hobbled to the elevator and down the hallway to the room. Her nose resting in the curve of the neck, his scent wrapping around her like it used to so many years ago in the blankets of her bed. "Nicky." Slash warned as the woman nipped at the side of his neck, the sensation going straight to his groin.
When they entered Slash's room, he managed to get Nicole on the couch. His mind racing, trying to remember Duff's room number to put the woman to bed. "What's your room again?" The only response Slash got was a girly giggle from Nicole, something he rarely heard from her.
"I want to stay with you Slash." The desperation in her voice put Slash in a hard place. "Everything is going to change." She sounded hopeless, making Slash sit down on the couch and pull her against him.
"You'll always be a friend to me, no matter what." The brushing of Slash's hand against her bare shoulders sent currents through her body, clearing her somewhat fuzzy mind.
"You promise?" Nicole poked hard into the side of Slash. Earning herself, a look that could kill if she was anyone else.
"I swear." Without warning, Slash pushed her over on the couch his hands going to her ticklish sides. Nicole should have been able to predict such a reaction from the lead guitarist but her mind was slower than usual until her body filled up with heat, twisting and turning to get out of strong grip. "You give up?" His question was answered by Nicole wildly shaking her head negatively. Slash changed his course of attack and moved to the back on her knees, a yelp coming from the woman underneath him. "Now?" He continued his assault until she was screaming for him to stop.
"I surrender." Nicole yelled at the top of her lungs. His hands disappeared from the back of her knees to rest on either side of her. Her breathing coming in and out in large clouds, her heart slowing down as she focused her attention of the dark brown eyes staring back at her, the emotion swirling within them.
Like the tickling, the next action was totally unexpected as his lips pressed against Nicole's suddenly, sending all the air from her chest once again. Just as quickly, his hand found the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him. Without hesitation, and without allowing herself time to think about what they were actually doing, Nicole returned his kiss, eagerly. His lips were sweet and gently firm – like the good old days - and she pulled him closer.
Shyly, his tongue brushed against her lips, as if unsure, but she met it with her own, hoping he would understand that as encouragement. She raised to her knees, bringing their bodies into a sitting position, she was surprised when he hands found her thighs and slid her up against him and pulled Nicole down on him. Their lips never separated as Slash's kissing intensified and deepened, tongues exploring one other's mouths.
One hand weaved through her hair as the other braced her lower back, keeping Nicole against him, as if she would ever consider wanting to leave. Nicole couldn't think, continually moving her hands across his back, arms, neck, through his hair. He rocked gently, rubbing himself up against her through the fabric of my jeans. Nicole met his movement, immediately intoxicated by the sensation. With Slash's palm flat on her lower back, he guided her, bringing her hips down and in, slowly, sensually.
Letting out a sigh against his lips, Slash lifted her slightly and started to make his way to the mattress in the room. He lowered her backwards onto the bed, never allowing his body to lose contact with Nicole's for even a second. He laid on top of her, body still between her legs with her knees pulled up, his hands gripped the edges of her jeans and slid the fabric down her legs. Still kissing her deeply, this time toying with the hem of her shirt.
Nicole's hopes alone of what he planned to do were enough to make a small moan. He began rocking against her again, very lightly, while slipping his hand underneath her shirt and pulling it above her bare stomach. His skin warm against her own, and she pulled him closer, gripping onto his t-shirt as if it were her final lifeline.
His hands slid further up, slowly following every curve until just below her breast, then back downward. Their lips pressed together with more force, almost frantically. Once his fingers came to her bare hip, he gripped Nicole with both hands and rocked her downward against him. His firm body pushed against Nicole's in all the right places and she wrapped her fingers further into his shirt, maintaining what bit of self-control she had left to keep from calling out. Not loosening his grip, he rocked downwards again, bringing himself up to meet her.
"Uh!" No longer able to hold it in, Nicole moaned against his lips.
He gave her another deep kiss, shivering as Nicole's hands went down his body and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down his legs before running her hands up his chest, bringing his shirt with her and slipping it over his head, her shirt following. "I want to feel all of you." The words slipped from Nicole's lips as she wrapped her legs back around his waist. Slash replied back with a kiss, his hand wound through her hair. With his other hand, he started to aim his cock toward her, teasing her gently with it until he had her moaning and arching her back toward him.
She placed a hand gently on the side of his neck, propping herself up to move closer to him. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way..." Nicole whispered against his lips. His mouth crept into a smile before pressing more firmly against her own.
While they kissed, he eased himself downwards, his arms wrapped tightly around her back. A gasp escaped her lips as he pushed into Nicole, a fraction of an inch at a time. She was clinging to his back, unable to refrain from dragging her nails against his skin. His face dropped to the nap of her neck, breathing heavy. More and more she relaxed her knees, feeling him spread her open. "Oh God..." He moaned, deep in his throat.
Without a word, she began to push herself outwards until he was almost all the way out, before meeting him, only slightly faster than before. It stayed exactly like that for some time. His lips against her neck, not kissing, her fingers pushed into the skin of his back and both bodies moving up and down slowly. Slash allowed her to move at her own pace, keeping his arms wrapped around her back, but not gripping or helping as she eased herself up and down. The skin of their chests rubbed together, adding to the overwhelming presence of one another.
Finally, he shifted his arms and gripped Nicole at the waist, guiding her movements to quicken the pace, at first moving up slowly, then back down with more force. "Yes...like that...yes..." Nicole's inhibitions were gone, and she made no effort to quiet herself. He groaned each time they smacked together, sliding his hands up a bit at a time until his fingers clutched her shoulders, allowing him to pull her down with more vigour.
She leaned back from him a little, still rising and falling on him. They both looked down between them and watched as he slid in and out of her - the sight was intoxicating. Nicole began gyrating her hips, moving in every direction. His mouth fell open and he groaned slowly but deeply. "Oh! Nicole... oh God...don't stop." Moving faster, she couldn't help but smile at the lust in his eyes.
She brought herself toward him again, pressing her body against his own and her lips against his ear. "How does it feel being inside of me?" Nicole's voice was thick with lust, she squeezed around him.
"Oh God..."
"Take me." With those words, he took over completely, sliding in and out even faster than before. One hand landed on her hip, pulling her back toward him with every thrust. The other was on the side of her neck as he brought himself in to kiss her.
"Oh, God... yes... yes." The bed started to bump against the wall and their moans and cries grew louder – Nicole couldn't have cared less who heard them now. He thrust harder, her insides beginning to shake along with her legs and every other inch of her body. Still. Pulling out quickly and hovering for the smallest fraction of a second before pounding back in. "Slash..." She moaned against his mouth, "Slash, I'm going to... oh... oh! I'm... I..."
"Come with me." He placed his forehead against Nicole and looked deep into her eyes. "Come with me!" Seeing his eyes almost pushed her over the edge, but she kept her thoughts neutral until she felt him reach his peak. Just before he did, he set up one more trick. He set his eyes on hers. "I love you, Nicole." His lips clasped down on hers, as he made a final thrust and held himself as deeply inside of her as he could.
Hearing his words, the ripple worked its way down Nicole's body. Just as she felt his release, her own started. He continued to kiss her as they came, dulling Nicole's screams against his lips. After the longest few seconds, her body involuntarily relaxed and Nicole sunk deeper into the bed, falling away from him. Slash started to do the same, but caught himself on his forearms before rolling onto his back.
With his right hand, he pushed some blonde strands off of her face. Neither speaking, simply lying next to each other trying to get control of themselves. His voice, the words rolling around in her mind – I love you, Nicole – it broke her heart because they were never meant to be.
Somehow Slash had talked Renee into her being a bridesmaid for the woman, Renee practically ignored her for the best part but Nicole wasn't there for her, she was there for Slash. It didn't stop the guilt from turning her inside and out as she stood lined up at the alter while the pair said their vows.
Nicole tried to focus her attention on the fact that Duff had asked Ashley to be his date and the woman had accepted, Ashley sat in the front row next to Matt. Thinking about them, made her think of the crowd, she half expected someone to stand up and start accusing Slash for cheating, exposing exactly what they had down last night in the very bed that Renee and Slash slept together in, though she didn't regret every touch received from him. What saddened her most, the whole thing felt like a goodbye, like the pair of them were trying to remember every scar and every reaction the other could draw out. He was now going to be a husband, a lover and it wasn't going to be to her.
AN: So the band has changed a bit since the last chapter, quite a bit happened in '90 and '91. As Steven and Kelly aren't apart of the band I will be doing a one-shot along with Duff and Ashley. Steven and Kelly may not be in the band but they'll still pop up in the story - what can I say? Siblings are born to be annoying. AND Izzy's one-shot is posted! Hope I didn't do it too bad with the Slash/Nicole scene, since it will probably be their last I wanted to make it special, with detail And Did I mention, longest chapter ever with around 7000 words!
