Hey guys, here's the next update, I know it's kinda short, but at least there's some Jommy-ness. I promise the next update will be longer. I got a new idea a few days ago for another Instant Star ff and I'm going to put the first chapter, or the two first up right after this, I'd be happy if you'd check it out. It's going to be a Jommy and I already got about 5-6 chapters written out. And some more planned out.

However, read and review, as usual. I really love all your reviews. Oh, and thanks for all the reviews the last chapter got :)


Mistaken 12

Jude grabbed the envelope and opened it carelessly. Whatever Jamie wrote for her, it wouldn't be half as bad as what had already happened this day. She hadn't spoken much to Jamie lately, although she had intended to do so. But Jamie had always been busy with work and she was the last person who would ask him to stop with the job he obviously loved.

Dear Jude,

I was coming by this morning but you weren't there, so I wrote this letter. I know, it's a coward-thing to do, but I can't help it. I'm actually relieved you're not here. You'll probably hate me by the end of this letter, so I'll say it before you burn it: I'm sorry. I'm leaving. Today, maybe right now.

I know I should have told you, but we were just getting along again and it meant so much to me. You said a few nights ago that you needed me, but the truth is, it has never been that way. It was the other way around, I needed you. That's why I wasn't mad at you for very long after you chose Tommy. We're different people and we'd have never fit.

I'm truly sorry I didn't tell you, but if I did you probably would have kept me back somehow and I can't let this happen. I got an offer for a manager job from a company in Washington. Yes, the city with the white house. I'm leaving today and Zepplin will probably follow in one or two days, as soon as everything's done with NBR.

Whatever you might think of me now, our friendship was always very important to me and it wasn't an easy decision to make. But in the end I chose to leave Toronto, because I need a fresh start.

However, I wish you only the best and I know you'll make your way without my help just fine.

Love and I'll miss you

Jamie

"No, no, no!" Jude whispered after she had finished reading through two times. She couldn't believe it. Her life was falling apart and Jamie was leaving? Just when they had finally began to get close again?

Is this some sick kind of revenge or what? He knew he'd leave all along, but he didn't just not tell me, no, he even became my friend again, just to leave me. What's wrong with me, that everybody has to leave? Everyone I ever loved left me in the end: Dad, Sadie, Mom, Tommy, Kat, Georgia even G-Major abandoned me! And now Jamie too. Why me? Why is it always me?

Jude collapsed on the couch, still not really getting the fact that Jamie was actually leaving for good. That he'd really leave her alone without even saying good-bye. And she would just let it happen?

Of course not. At least it was easier to try to take care of this problem than thinking about Tommy and what Megan had written. Jude stood up and walked straight out of the house, leaving the envelope behind.

15 minutes later Jude was storming down the stairs to the officially studio of NBR. She had needed that long because she had to find something properly to wear first. She was seeing Zepplin and Spied, sitting in front of the soundboard, but she couldn't find Jamie.

"Where is he?" She asked flat out, not bothering to say hello or something. She was pissed and definitely not in the mood to talk to Zepplin or Spied. Especially Spied since they hadn't talked since she had left G-Major and hadn't REALLY talked since his marriage with Karma.

"He's not here. I guess his flight's just about to start or he's already up in the air." Spied answered the question without hesitating, knowing quite well who Jude was talking about.

"Damn it, this stupid coward!" Jude cursed angry.

"Hello to you too. Long time no see. What's going on in your life stranger?" Spied asked with his typical cute smile.

"Sorry. I just can't believe he just left without saying anything. I'm fine, really. How are you and Karma?"Jude asked, not paying 100 % attention since she was still thinking about Jamie.

"Fine, everything's great." Spied said with a forced smile. Jude was about to ask what was wrong, but Spied cut her off. "So, you're not at G-Major anymore either, what are you doing these days? Haven't heard from you for quite some time now."

Jude looked at him pleading, she knew it had been stupid and idiotic from her to not call him, but she had had other things to worry about.

"Look, I know it wasn't right to not call you or anything, but since your marriage with Karma I haven't talked, like really talked to you once. I'm not blaming you for it or anything, it's just that that's the way things went and we didn't do anything about it. I kind of thought that maybe, you didn't need me as your friend anymore so I kind of didn't call. And you didn't too, so…" Jude stopped, running out of things to say. She had never intended on telling Spied all this, but now that he was right in front of her, looking like no time had passed at all, she couldn't help herself but be open.

"Jude, you're like my best friend. You're my best man dude! I'll never have enough of you ever. We even did a tour together, remember? You should know by now that you can't get rid of me that easily!" Spied answered joking around like always. Jude starred at him for a few moments like in awe. It felt just like it always used to. For Jude everything has changed in her life, but Spied had stayed the same and that was something she had really missed. She walked over to him and embraced him in a tight hug.

Spied hugged her back and winked over her shoulder at Zepplin and commented grinning.

"You see, all the girls worship me. You should really give me a raise!"

Jude pulled away and smacked him playfully.

"You're such a cocky idiot sometimes."

"And you can be a pretty bitchy diva sometimes."

"What? You did so not just say that!" Jude cried out, acting upset. She pulled away completely and tried to take a step back, but Spied just laughed and pulled her right back to him.

"You know you love me, just admit it already!"

"Yeah, I do. I'm so head over heels in love with you!" Jude joked and was laughing now too. She had missed fooling around with Spied soo much.

"I missed you." She admitted quietly.

"I missed you too, dude."

"Don't call me dude! I hate that!" Jude protested weakly, knowing well that he wouldn't stop anyway.

"Don't I know it." Spied retorted and finally released Jude out of his embrace.

"You won't ever change, will you?" Jude asked shaking her head at his childish grin.

"Not for anyone but you, you know?" He chuckled. Jude began laughing just moments before he couldn't keep himself from laughing as well.

"Guys, hate to interrupt, but I got Jamie on the phone right here and I somehow think you want to talk to him." Zepplin said and addressed Jude with a wink. Jude and Spied starred stupidly at Zepplin. They hadn't even noticed she had been talking into her cell all the time, they had temporarily even forgotten she was there with them.

Jude nodded and took the offered cell tentatively out of Zepplin hands, she suddenly wasn't that sure if she really wanted to talk to Jamie.

"Jamie?" She asked and hated how unsure her voice sounded.

"Hey." Jamie said, not sounding very happy either. "So you read my letter I guess."

"Yeah, I did." Jude said and sighed. "Why, Jamie? Why?"

"Jude, I'm really sorry, it's just… every time I was trying to tell you something got in the way or the situation just didn't seem right to me. I didn't want to mess up again and… I'm sorry." Jamie babbled in his typical kinda cute manner, like always when he was nervous. Jude used to love that. Just not now.

"So you're sorry for lying to me the entire time? Jamie, I fucking came crawling back to you, I apologized for everything and I truly believed we were back to where we were once, and then you just leave without even saying good-bye??"

"Jude, it's complicated, I-"

"No, I don't even wanna hear it. I really thought I could trust you again, but it seems like I misjudged once again. This time I don't wanna hear you're sorry anymore. I read your damn letter and then I immediately drove straight here and tried to catch you, but you know what? I don't care. Leave the town, leave the country for all I care, just stay away from me, alright? If Tommy taught me one thing, then that I'm way too forgiving. We're done, Jamie Andrews. We've been friends for the longest time." Jude ended somewhat sadly. At first she had been calm, then she had nearly been shouting since all her anger had been taking over and now, now she was calm again.

"But Jude, please, hear me out, it's not like you think-" But Jude didn't bother to listen any longer, she gave the cell back to Zepplin without another word.

"I gotta get going guys. Got something to take care off. Spied, give me a call, yeah?" Jude asked while she was already walking to the stairs.

"'Course dude. Won't let you get away again!" Spied shouted after her and with that she was gone.

Jude was standing in front of Tommy's apartment. She had come her straight from NBR and now she was contemplating if she should actually ring or not. She was nervous like hell, but she was also determined to go through with this thing.

Suddenly the door opened and a half grinning Tommy was standing there, looking at her amused.

"How long to you need to actually ring?" He asked teasing.

"Funny, Quincy." Jude said shortly. "Can I come inside?"

"That depends on what you're planning to do. Searching for new stuff to write about in your blog?" Tommy continued, still grinning.

"Of course, didn't you know I'm all about gossip these days, Little Tommy Q?" Jude retorted sarcastically and walked into the apartment without waiting for him to ask her in. She wasn't planning on staying very long anyways.

"Go ahead, invite yourself in." Tommy commented still amused about something Jude didn't get.

"Listen, I don't know why you're grinning like a fool, but I don't really care either. So let's just get this over with, ok? Don't interrupt me, cause I'm only saying this once." Jude began, breathed in deeply and continued. "I'm sorry about what's standing on my blog. I didn't write it, I swear. I wouldn't ever write something like this in the internet and I think you know that. I did, however, say it and that's why someone I thought was a friend wrote it "for me". But I don't really think you're a fraud or a coward or something, I was just kind of angry. You've always been a great producer and friend to me and I have nothing but respect for you." Jude assured him and herself, making clear that she wasn't in his apartment to start something with him. "So, that's it. I'm gonna leave now and let you get back to… whatever you were just doing." Jude mumbled and walked to the door again.

She was feeling nervous and stupid for coming in the first place. But at the same time she felt relieved that she had told Tommy, that she hadn't wrote all the mean stuff about him. On the other side it was incredibly dumb to come to HIS apartment.

Just like Jude had feared, Tommy didn't just let her walk out like nothing ever happened. A hand enclosed her left upper arm and she was hold back by his gentle but firm grip. She slowly turned around to face him, avoiding eye contact.

"What do you want?" She asked, sounding as vulnerable as she felt around him in that moment. She wasn't ok right now, because her old feelings for Tommy were resurfacing, just like they always did when he was around and on top of that she was still hurt because Jamie had just bailed on her.

"You." Tommy answered quietly but honest, obviously trying to convince Jude that he really meant it.

"Tommy. Please." Jude begged, she begged him to stop, to let her go for good. She needed closure, and she needed to move on.

"I can't Jude." Tommy said calmly. He knew what she was asking, but he'd rather die than give up on her. Especially since he knew to whom she'd go back then, to this alcoholic named Johnny.

"I can't let you go, because I love you. And I won't let you go because I care about you. You're way too good to be with this stupid guy Johnny. He doesn't treat you right, I know that and you know it too! He can't love you if he hits you, drunken or not."

"Don't Tommy, please… you don't know him the way I do. Just let it go, alright?" Jude asked desperately, she felt her resolves weakening with every second. Maybe it had just been too much for her lately, or maybe she was just tired of being strong, but if Tommy wasn't letting her go right now, she didn't know what would happen. "Just let me go, Tommy. There's nothing left to fight about. I told you I don't wanna fight. All I want is to move on. I can't do this anymore, I'm so tired of everything, of the drama, of the heartbreak. I just got enough." Jude pleaded weakly, trying to explain how she felt, how tired she was of everything. She had had enough drama for the rest of her life and she didn't want to make anything anymore complicated. And that meant she needed to get over Tommy.

"Jude, your life's always been full of drama and it always will! You're a rockstar, you don't get to live a normal quiet life because you're not normal." Tommy said, talking to her like to a little child, he felt sorry for her since he could sense that she really was at a breaking point, but he couldn't just let her go for good. He loved her too much.

"Well then maybe I don't wanna be a rock star anymore." Jude murmured quietly, more to herself than to Tommy. But when she felt Tommy stir she knew he had heard her. She wasn't surprised that he was shocked, she was the last person to ever say she didn't want to be a rock star, it has always been her dream, her highest priority. She finally looked up into Tommy's blue and now worried eyes, but she regretted it immediately. He obviously wasn't going to make it any easier for her. She quickly continued. "Look, what I need right now is for you to let go of me. You and I, we had our chance. Hell, we had a million chances. But maybe we're just not meant to be; maybe it was just bad luck every single time. But whatever it was, it'll never change and I'm tired of getting my hopes up high again just to crash down even harder. I'm ready to let go, but I can't if you don't let go of me. So please, don't make me go through the same stuff all over again, I can't take it anymore."

Tommy looked at her and it broke Jude's heart to see the hurt in his eyes. She knew he was sorry for everything he had done, if she hadn't believed him before, she did at that moment. Jude didn't want Tommy to be miserable or to blame himself for whatever went wrong, but she couldn't give them another chance, not when she some pieces of her heart were still missing.

"Tommy, I don't want you to blame yourself or something. It's not your fault everything went wrong. I'm sorry for messing around with your personal business back there at New Brunswick. I should have let you go on your own. And I'm sorry for ruining our friendship, because before the whole mess started, and even all the way through, you've been my best friend and the person I trusted the most. You told me often enough that a relationship was the surest way to mess everything up, but I didn't want to listen. But whatever, that's over now. No ones to blame. Neither you nor me."

Jude felt how Tommy's grip loosened and she knew she had won. But it wasn't a feeling of victory that was filling her now, it was sadness and regret. What a poor victory, convincing the man she had once called the love of her life, that "they" wasn't worth fighting for anymore. She believed what she had said, but she still wished things were different. She turned her back on Tommy and walked to the door.

"Jude." Tommy called suddenly.

"What else Tommy?" Jude asked somewhat impatiently. It wasn't easy on her either.

"I won't give up. You're right, we messed it up in the past, mostly I did, but it's different now. I love you, Jude. I know that and I know that I always will, come what may."

"Then" Jude said quietly. "Then that's too bad I guess." She walked out the door, physically hurting herself with every step, but if she'd go back, she was sure about that, she'd only have to face more pain later.

Jude pressed the button for the elevator, leaning at the wall next to her for support. She was positively devastated, emotionally totally dried out. First Megan, then Jamie and now Tommy. And from what Tommy had said last, the thing with Tommy wasn't over yet.

The elevator doors were opening and an old married couple was already in there. Jude sighed and was about to enter the cabin when she was suddenly grabbed from behind and spun around. Before she could react or just form a thought, two lips crashed on hers. Jude instinctively responded to the passionate kiss with matching passion without even hesitating.

She barely heard the elevator doors close behind her with a "pling" while she was laying her arms around Tommy's neck, trying to pull him closer. His arms had found their way around Jude's waist and they were as close as humanly possible, still intertwined in their kiss.

They finally broke apart because the need for air was getting to strong. Jude lost herself in Tommy's blue eyes and she whispered quietly, with no force behind it.

"We shouldn't be doing this."

"Should I stop?" Tommy asked innocently while his hands were roaming over Jude's body and his lips nearly touching hers.

"No, please don't." Jude pleaded, not able to resist his touch and feeling like she would die without his kisses. He smiled at her and kissed her again, this time he was walking backwards back into his apartment, pulling her with him.

For one second Jude thought that she should better not do this, that she should stop while she could, but truth was, she couldn't.

Suddenly Tommy's cell ringed. 90 % of Jude wanted to cry out loud at the interruption, but 10 % were telling her that she'd better take this chance and get as far away as somehow possible.

"I gotta get this. Just one second." Tommy excused himself and answered the cell, while walking a few steps away and turning the back on Jude. Finally she was able to think resonable again, without his blue eyes distracting her.


What is Jude going to do? Review to find out! ;)