We're back. We're back in Seattle, and she finally looks happy again. Not the over-the-top- fake-happy she's so fond of, but the genuine, secret happy that I'd begun to worry would never make an appearance again. Her lips are upturned at the corners, fighting back a quickly-spreading grin, her fingers lacing easily with mine. Her good mood lasts all through the airport, despite the long flight and bad food. My eyes dart every once and awhile to her profile, just to make sure that she's still battling back a smile.

After we get out of the airport and into Seattle I stop expecting it to end, instead settling back into casual appreciation. It's only in the car when it begins to fade, when her smile slips off into the corners of her mouth, and she starts to bite her fingernails in irritation.

I didn't notice right away, instead preferring to believe that everything was still okay.

"Derek?" she mumbles, low so that Addison and Mark can't hear from the back seat of my car.

"Yeah?"

"What if-"

Her words hang in the air while she bites her lip, staring into the side mirror at the dust-covered truck tailgating us. I switch lanes easily, flicking my gaze from mirror to mirror before signaling and letting the truck pass before focusing my attention on her.

"What's wrong?"

Something about the way she's avoiding my eyes and the way her hands are clasped tightly between her legs lets me know that the amazingly genuine secret-happy is gone.

"Mer…"

"What if…what if I'm not a good mother? I mean, this whole thing is crazy, right? I can't be a mother! I don't even know what a good mother is let alone how to be one! Seriously, why didn't we use a condom? Derek! We used to be a freaking condom ad! What the hell happened to that?"

She had started off under her breath, in a voice so unsure that I had to incline my head towards hers, but she keeps getting louder, voice gaining both volume and intensity. Addison throws a concerned glance at me through the rear-view mirror and Mark jerks awake, groaning as he snaps his neck free of pain.

"Jesus," he says, rubbing his eyes tiredly and looking to Addison for explanation, "are we there yet? Are we back?"

"No," she answered shortly, giving him a glare before turning to Meredith, her features melting into concern, "Meredith, are you okay?"

"Y-yeah. Just nerves. I'm fine-really. Completely, undoubtedly, one hundred percent emotionally stable," her voice shakes lightly, and her knuckles are turning white from her rigid grip.

"Mer, do you want me to pull over?"

"No! I mean, I'm fine. It's just-we're back…in Seattle. Wow. It's weird, you know? Coming from New York to Seattle again."

I crease my eyebrows, throwing her as many confused glances that I can without running us off of the road.

"Mer, seriously, do you want me to-"

"I'm fine. Seriously," she says, nodding her head to assure us, "I'm fine."

"Whatever you say," Mark grumbles, curling back into the awkward sleeping position he'd been in before. Addison continues to stare at Meredith, though, like at any second she'll have a nervous breakdown. Out of the corner of my eye I can see a pale, manicured hand rest on her shoulder.

I can feel the heat of embarrassment rise off of Meredith, tingeing her cheeks red. Still, to her credit, she smiles weakly at Addison and gulps back a string of defensive words.

"We're almost there," I say unnecessarily as I see the sign for a familiar exit, "Fifteen minutes and we're home."

Addison withdraws her hand, slumping gratefully into the seat.

"Thank god. I feel like we've been gone forever."

"Yeah. I wonder if the hospital's burned down by now."

"Probably."

I undoubtedly sound like a broken record by now but I have to ask.

"Mer, are you sure you're okay?"

She turns back to me, grin fully in place, happy again.

"We're having a baby," she says, grinning wider, "Derek, we're having a baby!"

I raise my eyebrows in the rearview mirror to Addison, who just shrugs back, smiling to herself.

"I'm aware of that," I say, laughing, "as you should be, considering you're five months along and beginning to look-"

"Don't. Say. Fat," she warned, accenting each word and pursing her lips primly, "I have hormones that you probably don't want to get acquainted with right now, bearing in mind how you're just returning to Seattle Grace after bailing me out of a New York jail."

"Point taken."

Pause.

"Does this mean we're out of freak-out mood?"

She smiles again, softer than before, and I'm surprised to see tears well in the corners of her eyes. She giggles shakily at herself, wiping them away roughly with her thumbs and sniffling loudly.

"I will never be out of freak-out mood," she says stubbornly, "and you, Derek Shepherd, are just going to have to live with that."

I pull onto the street in front of Addison and Mark's townhouse, saying a hurried goodbye to them before turning back to Meredith. I smile, "I think I can live with that."

She grumbles playfully, crossing her arms in front of her chest, smile still set firmly in place, "Good."

We're silent on the way to Meredith's house, both thinking about different things. I turn the keys in the ignition, and the hum from the car dies out. I unhook my seatbelt at the same time as Meredith, but as she reaches for her door handle I lay a hand on her knee, affectively getting her attention.

"Wait."

I shift so that I'm facing her, one knee resting up on the seat.

"I don't know how to say this so…I'm just going to."

Her curiosity peaks, and she raises her eyebrows in a silent question.

"Will you marry me?"

There's one of those awkward, lilting pauses that gets my hands sweating and my brain working at lightning speed to try to fix whatever I've done wrong. But, eventually, after a long, grueling, torturous five minutes, she answers.

"Okay," she says, like I've just asked if she wanted to go on a date, shrugging. I let out a sigh of relief, nodding.

"Okay then," I say back in the same tone, and we both reach for our respective car doors, smiling our own quiet, thoughtful, genuine smiles.

AN: the end!!! Did you like? Not like? Let me know. It's so weird for this to be over!!! Omg I can't believe it. Lol.

P.S. I might to an epilogue…yeah, I think I will. Just because it'll be fun.