A/N: I decided to keep Diane's POV for this chapter, but the next one will be from Kurt's again.


Chapter Twelve

Diane had been tossing and turning all night because her mind wouldn't give her any peace. She didn't quite understand why the day ahead unsettled her that much when not long ago she had been looking forward to it. But the closer it got the more nervous she became.

Nevertheless, she was relieved to finally get out of bed Saturday morning, since it didn't make much difference that she was in it. She needed to get ready for the day anyway, pack some things and drive out to Kurt's farm. They were supposed to spend the whole day together, but at least she probably wouldn't stay the night this time. If she happened to drink more, she would ask her son if they would drive her home and get her car the next day. Unless Liam and Eryn were planning to stay there too, because then she might consider doing the same.

Of course a lot would depend on their conversation with Kurt, which was most likely the reason for her uneasiness. Mainly because it would include talking about the past and she didn't know what to expect. She was also uncertain how Kurt felt about their night together now that they both had time to think on it. But that was exactly why they needed to talk.

She was planning to leave in the clothes she would use for hiking, a pair of jeans, boots and a trench coat over a pullover. She packed another pair of jeans just in case and a shirt for cooking, while for the dinner she chose a knee length pencil skirt and a blouse. She didn't want to be too elegant, but she aimed for a bit more festive look, it was a celebration after all. She also considered the possibility of having to spend the night there and since she didn't want to borrow one of Kurt's shirts again, she packed her pajamas, although a voice in her head suggested she might consider bringing something sexier, but she ignored it.

When she was ready she got into her car and texted Kurt that she was on her way. Only then did she realize that she forgot about breakfast.

o-o-o

As Diane was nearing their office she saw that Aiden, her roommate, was having a conversation with someone in there, but only when she got closer did she recognizethe voice of her fiancé.

"Kurt has been waiting for you," Aiden stepped aside, so Diane could lay eyes on the man who was sitting there in a visitor chair.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" Diane quickly kissed Kurt's cheek and got behind her desk.

She wasn't sure how to act in front of her colleague, but she didn't want to be rude and send him out either. And clearly he wasn't polite enough to offer them some privacy, instead he sat behind his desk, pretending to work, but Diane had no doubt he was listening to every word.

"After what happened the other day, I just wanted to make sure you have something proper for lunch." Kurt pointed at the plastic bag on the desk Diane hadn't noticed until now.

"That's really thoughtful of you," Diane thanked him with a smile.

"I keep telling her to eat, she never listens," Aiden commented, proving that he was indeed paying attention to them.

"Do I have to leave him in charge or will you promise to take an effort from now on?" Kurt asked chuckling, but she was aware that he really meant it. And she didn't want him to worry.

It was irresponsible of her not to pay attention to eating properly, but what had happened in court the other day scared her too. The doctor had informed them that the baby was slightly smaller than it should have been and emphasized how crucial nutrition was for its wellbeing.

"I promise," she responded truthfully. "And thank you for lunch."

"No problem," Kurt smiled. "So what are you waiting for?" he urged her rather impatiently.

"Are you going to watch me eat?" She began to laugh.

"Do you want me to leave?" He inquired, making her regret her previous comment.

"No, please stay," she insisted, glancing in the direction of the man she wished to see leave instead.

"Since you are already taken care of, I'm going to head out to get my lunch." Aiden finally realized he was the third wheel or he was just simply hungry. Either way, Diane was pleased to see him stand up.

"Thanks for the talk, and if you don't mind keeping an eye on her…"

"Hey," Diane interrupted Kurt quickly. The last thing she needed was Aiden as his chaperone.

"It's for your own good," Kurt pointed out.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and the baby," she argued, even though they both knew it wasn't always true.

"Then prove it by eating the lunch I brought," Kurt challenged her.

"I'm on it." Diane grabbed the bag and opened the box. The chicken with the vegetables smelled really good, so she took a bite right away. She only felt it now that she was actually really hungry.

"I hope you don't mind that I showed up unannounced," Kurt said when they were finally left alone.

"What are you talking about? I really appreciate what you're doing for me, for us," she added, touching her belly, feeling the baby inside kicking. "I think he's thanking you for the food as well," she smiled.

"Is she?" Kurt responded grinning. Their fun disagreement about the sex of the baby never stopped amusing her.

"I don't tell you enough how much I love you." She hoped her confession sounded sincere enough despite the circumstances. She really meant it.

"I love you too," he responded and she got lost in his gaze for a few seconds.

She had this perfect man taking care of her every need and she was able to rely on him fully. She was aware how incredibly lucky she was to have found him. And she had no doubt that he would be a great father to their baby. She had been putting off a decision for way too long, but she finally realized she was ready to take that next step.

"I think it's time we set a wedding date," she declared and watched as the smile spread on his face. He probably didn't expect to hear that from her now of all times.

"I'd love that." He reached over to take her hand in his.

And his touch reassured her that they were going in the right direction, together.

o-o-o

As Diane rang the doorbell she almost felt ridiculous holding what's left of the doughnuts she had obtained for breakfast on the way. But he loved doughnuts, so naturally she'd bought enough for two. She also brought wine for the dinner, still felt that she didn't contribute enough. Even though there was also a special present hiding in her bag for the parents to be, which only had sentimental value, but she had no doubt Liam and Eryn would appreciate it.

"Hey." Kurt's wide smile gave away that he was very pleased to see her and she could only say the same. She'd had time to calm her mind during the drive and seeing his reaction somehow gave her even more confidence.

"Hi, I've brought doughnuts." She handed the bag to him with a smile, resisting the urge to greet him with a kiss on the cheek. Even though a few days ago it had felt natural to say goodbye to him that way, she somehow didn't think it was a good idea today. She wanted to avoid any physical contact that could endanger their plans to have a conversation first.

"You forgot about breakfast again?" His conclusion sounded like a gentle scolding, while his eyes sparkled, making her blush.

"It still happens," she admitted, appreciating his attentiveness.

"It's good to see you again," he noted, letting her enter the door. "Ready for hiking I see," he added and she turned back towards him, because she assumed he was checking her out and his guilty expression gave him away. Not that she minded. She was aware he always preferred her in jeans.

"Was I ever?" She chuckled as memories flooded her head about the two of them out in nature. Hunting, fishing, hiking, he made her try them all, but despite all his efforts to lure her into the nature, she still preferred doing yoga at home as an exercise.

"I've packed sandwiches for us," he noted and she began to realize the awkward silences were getting longer and longer. It was time to get going.

"Thank you. So, what are we waiting for?"

o-o-o

"Mommy, I caught a fish, I caught a fish!" The shouting six-year old ran through the front door, right into his mother's arms who lifted him and hugged him tightly.

"You caught a fish? I'm so proud," she kissed the boy's cheek which was cold from the chilly air outside, but his enthusiasm was like a fire burning inside.

"Daddy will show you, it's this big." Liam opened both his arms as wide as he could.

"Are you sure it's that big? That's bigger than you," Diane teased her son, stroking his nose with hers gently.

"I'm a fisherman, I'm a fisherman!" Liam shouted and Diane had no choice but to put him down to let him run around celebrating his victory. He was too cute for words and as happy as she was watching him, she also felt some sadness that she missed out on this big moment in her son's life.

"What is it?" Kurt noticed quite fast that Diane's expression changed and touched her chin to make her look right into his eyes.

"I should have gone fishing with you," she noted with a guilty conscience.

"But you have a trial, you will join us next time," he shrugged it off. He either really didn't think it was a big deal, or he simply got used to it by now.

"I keep missing out. I'm not trying hard enough. I'm a bad mother," she concluded and all of a sudden her happiness over her son's achievement changed into guilt and anger.

"No you aren't. You are a working mother. You are doing the best you can." It was typical of Kurt to defend her even when he should have agreed. He was way too forgiving and she couldn't help wondering when this would backfire. She tried to avoid going too far, and even when she did he always managed to forgive her.

"I don't think I am. I love him so much," she confessed and rested her eyes on Liam for a while, finding herself smile again. He was the most adorable little boy who brought so much joy into her life. She could only hope she was able to give some of it back.

"He knows that you do. And you are welcome to join us on our next fishing trip," he reassured her and folded his arms around her waist.

"I'll try my best. I love you, Kurt. I don't think I say that enough anymore," she confessed.

It was especially important to voice her feelings now that they were in the critical seventh year of their marriage. Sometimes she couldn't believe they even lasted this long. It was mainly thanks to Kurt's forgiving nature and the existence of their son. There had been misunderstandings and fights, but they had always managed to get over the hard times.

"I love you too," he returned the words and leaned in for a kiss which quickly made her realize how much she was craving it. But the kiss didn't have time to deepen because of the noise coming from the other room.

"I'm going to get Liam ready for bed and once he's asleep we will continue this right where we left off," she promised, finding it hard to distance herself from him.

"You'd better hurry," he whispered and only let her go after another gentle but hungry kiss.

o-o-o

After an hour of walking and talking about everything but what they had originally agreed on, they arrived at a resting place with a few benches. They decided to settle on a bench to take a break, catch a breath, grab a bite and finally have the conversation they were here for. The surrounding was ideal for it, because they were completely alone. The silence was only disturbed by the chatter of the birds and the rustling of the leafs on the nearby trees.

Kurt gentlemanly let Diane start the topic, which she didn't mind. It was time to voice some of the questions that had been circling around in her mind in the last weeks, ever since he had been back in her life.

"I'm simply confused about this whole situation," she admitted, "and I think that night only complicated everything." She was scared to look into his eyes at this point, and to cast her inner anxiety she started playing with the zipper of her coat.

Before they slept together she had been able to believe they could simply work together and only be friendly with each other, but she had been proven wrong. There was clearly more between them that had surfaced the other night and she didn't want to see it in his eyes again at this moment.

"I know, maybe you could share your confusions so we can discuss them," he offered patiently and she just had to figure out where to start.

"Remember when I asked why you showed up in my office after all these years?" She referred back to their conversation at his door the same evening and finally gathered the courage to look at him again.

"I said I wanted to see how you were doing," he nodded, and she flashed him a smile remembering how lame his answer sounded back then. He must have known it, too.

"Why this sudden interest now? I thought we put the past behind us," she pointed out, because she really didn't understand. If he only wanted to know how she was doing, he could have just asked their son.

"I thought so too. And I'm sorry but I can't really explain it better. Your partner gave me a chance, an excuse to see you again and I just decided to take it." This explanation definitely sounded more true. At least she now knew that he wasn't really sure what he was doing either, and didn't leave her in the dark on purpose.

"But why? I caused you so much pain in the past, I guess I just don't understand. I wish I didn't question it, but I do. I honestly feel like I'm undeserving of your attention," she admitted, shifting her gaze to the ground, embarrassed. She was completely honest with him, because that was the only way for them to come to a solution.

"Please don't say that." Kurt touched her arm to get her attention and only let go when she looked back at him again.

"But that's how I feel, Kurt. We had an opportunity once, but it didn't work out and I still blame myself for it."

She had known it back then already, that their marriage falling apart had been her fault, but she still hadn't tried enough to save it. She'd thought the divorce had been in Kurt's best interest, she had wanted him to have another chance at happiness with someone else, someone who would have appreciated him more, but it seemed like he hadn't found that person.

"But I don't blame you anymore. Since then I understood that I sort of forced you into something that you weren't cut out for." He was too hard on himself, and she simply couldn't let him take the blame for this.

"You didn't force me into anything. I wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been what I wanted," she reassured him. She had already told him that she didn't regret marrying him, and that was the truth.

"There was simply no place in your life for a family," he stated without sounding hurt and she admired him for how he handled it now compared to then. They both had come a long way since the divorce had put an end to their relationship and weren't the same people anymore.

"I should have made place for it, because I loved you both and I never meant to let either of you down. You have no idea how sorry I am. Even though I know it's too late for that." Maybe it was selfish, but it felt really good to say it out loud. Not to mention she owed him that much. She knew that the regret was written all over her face and he was able to see that she meant every word.

"It's never too late," he noted and to emphasize his words he slowly placed his hand on hers and began to smile.

"Does that mean you've been able to forgive me?" She sought verbal confirmation, standing his gaze and turned her hand to place it in his.

"Yes, it does," he declared and she couldn't believe her ears. Even though he had been acting accordingly, so she guessed that somehow he had been able to forgive her, it was completely different to actually hear it.

"You have no idea what that means to me," she answered with a smile, while she could also feel tears form in her eyes. It was a really special moment. And even though she still felt undeserving she was also very grateful for him.

She lifted their entwined hands to her lips and placed a kiss on the back of his hand.

"I'm really glad we talked about this," Kurt stated, still holding her hand and she didn't want him to let go of this only physical contact between them. It gave her the strength she needed not to break down completely. Long years of suppressed guilt could finally surface today and maybe she would be able to finally start healing.

"Where do we go from here?" she inquired, not meaning to rush anything, just out of mere curiosity. She had no doubt that this day was the start of something new.

"I don't know," he shrugged, smiling. "Where do you want us to go?"

"I don't think I can answer that," she responded with a smile, "but I can say one thing: having you back in my life means a lot to me." There was no use denying the obvious. She hadn't really been happy in a long time and he was already able to change that with his presence.

"In that case I'd really like to stay," he expressed a wish she could only be supportive of, simply because she didn't want to let him go.