CHAPTER 12
April 2011
AN: Minor crossover in this chapter, I borrowed a couple of characters and the location of ITV's 'Doc Martin'. No knowledge of the show required, I don't own it and am making no money.
If it had just been her Emily would probably have stayed in Paris indefinitely. It was easy to blend in and hide. With Caleigh she wanted out of the cities, she wanted to be somewhere clean and light with open spaces… somewhere Lauren Reynolds and Emily Prentiss would never be caught dead in. They loved the city and city life but Matilda and Carys Holt wanted anything but.
Years before she'd purchased a safe house in Cornwall. A tiny little farmhouse in a tiny little fishing village. It had never been declared and the ID she'd used to purchase it was unknown to everyone, so she called the cleaning service to head out there and get it ready for them to live in while she worked out the safest way to get there.
The train ride passed quickly, Emily's still healing body demanding she sleep and Caleigh exhausted from the traveling, time change and lack of schedule snoozed on her chest.
The passports supplied by JJ worked exactly as advertised.
Once in London she swung by Barclay's just outside of Kings Cross station and raided the safety deposit box she'd left there years before.
With an extra 20,000 pounds at her disposal Emily heads out into the suburbs and finds the dodgiest car dealer she can in Reading and picks up a beat up old Peugeot and heads west.
The four hour drive west to the Cornish coast was too much for her so she pulls over at a little BB in Glastonbury and gets them a room for the night. Ignoring the concerned looks from the owner at just how unhealthy she appears she heads up to the room and let's Caleigh loose on the ground to roll and play as much as she wants. She had been planning to just put the baby to sleep in the stroller but 30 minutes after they arrive there's a knock at the door and the owner is standing there with a gentle smile and a port-a-cot.
When they arrive in Portwenn early the next afternoon Emily's breath is taken away by the peaceful beauty of the little fishing village. The tiny cottage she's owned for a decade but never visited sits high up on a bluff with views over both the moors and the Cornish Sea. When the car is unpacked Emily sits on the front porch with Caleigh in her lap and watches the waves… Rossi would love this view, he'd sit with her in silence and just enjoy the peace. Hotch would be running all over the grass with Jack laughing, Garcia would be lying in the sun… no matter how cold it was. Reid would be sitting reading and Morgan wouldn't be caught dead where he couldn't find a honey.
JJ… JJ would be distracting her with talk about everything and nothing.
In her arms she could feel Caleigh's little body grow limper and limper as sleep took over and once she was sure the baby was out Emily lay her down on a blanket on the floor. All Emily wanted to do was join her and curl up for a nap but she needed to unpack and set up the port-a-cot she'd purchased on her way out of Reading and check the cupboards to make sure they were stocked as she'd requested.
Pushing through the fatigue and pain she got the cot set up and Caleigh moved into it and was methodically making her way through the kitchen which caused tears of frustration to spring up.
She'd been clear in her email, soy milk and soy formula and they'd stocked it with neither. The tin in her bag only had enough left for one more bottle. She'd been relying on them to get it right.
Giving up for now she lay down in the bed and was just drifting off to sleep when Caleigh woke up crying.
Hopefully the shops in the village would have what she needed.
"Excuse me?" Emily approaches the woman manning the cash register "Do you have any soy formula? I already checked the grocers and they said to try here."
"Ooooh no, we don't sell any of that stuff. There's perfectly good standard formula." the odd woman in a neck brace eyed Emily suspiciously.
"She's allergic to dairy" she really didn't have any fight in her "Would it be possible to order some in for us? I'm happy to pay."
"We'll I'd need a note from the Doctor… only because it's not standard" the woman hedged.
Taking a deep breath Emily dug in her satchel bag and pulled out the medical report in their fake names confirming the allergy. The woman scanned it with a raised eyebrow and shook her head.
"Sorry Miss but how am I to know if this is real or not? I'm sure Doc Martin can give you what you need."
Emily let her eyes fall closed and nodded before pushing her way out the door. Standing in the street she looked around the tiny Cornish village. Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all.
The ache in her side had moved beyond dull and was starting to become sharp. She needed to put Caleigh down soon and she really didn't have the energy to walk up the hill to the Dr's Surgery. Going back to the car she strapped Caleigh in and drove back out to the tiny farmhouse.
Putting Caleigh in the port-a-cot, Emily then put herself to bed
When she woke hours later, slightly less exhausted, Caleigh was crying in hunger.
Picking up the 8 month old Emily lay on the couch and let her nurse to take the edge off the babies hunger. Caleigh was eating more solids now but still preferred nursing to formula which was fine with Emily in theory. She simply wasn't making enough milk right now to satisfy the baby so still needed to supplement.
When there was nothing left she grabbed a banana from the bench and fed it to the baby who was hungry enough to eat it begrudgingly.
"I know this is not what you want" she signed "Mommy's doing her best and I'll get us some formula to keep you going for now."
With a tired sigh she decided to see if she could get into see the doctor in the village straight away, if she couldn't then she'd have to make the 40 minute drive out to Camelford and find somewhere she could get soy formula over the counter.
The young woman with pink and blond dreadlocks gave her a strange look and told her to take a seat in the empty waiting room. Five minutes later her head shot up sharply as an angry voice echoed out of the other room.
"You're not sick now stop wasting my time!" an older man… overweight… wearing overalls and a beanie opened the door and ambled is way out.
"I'm telling you Doc…" he tried to say.
"OUT!" she watched curiously as he huffed in irritation and looked around the waiting room "NEXT" his angry stare settled on Emily and Caleigh.
At the receptionists nod Emily stood and followed Doctor Ellingham into the back room.
"What's the problem?" his tone was curt but there was an intelligence and conviction in his eyes.
Emily pulled the medical record out of her bag and handed it over "I went to the pharmacy to get some soy formula but the lady there wouldn't order it in for me without a doctor's confirmation… she said this wasn't good enough."
She watched carefully as he scanned the document "Are you still breast feeding the child?"
"When I can but I was injured 8 weeks ago and... "
"Your milk supply was compromised meaning you need to supplement with formula." It wasn't much but Emily could swear she saw a flash of compassion.
"Yeah…"
"And even with the medical report Mrs Tishall refused to sell you soy formula…?"
"Yes, said they don't stock it and tried to get me to buy the standard." Emily confirmed.
"Excuse me…" he stood and stalked out into the waiting room slamming the door behind him.
Several long moments later his yelling began, Emily couldn't hear everything but several words floated through the closed door because they weren't just yelled, they were bellowed.
"Soy… stock… immediately… called… baby… died… NOW!"
The door opened again and Emily looked up from the stuffed cat she and Caleigh were playing with.
"They're sending 2 tins up for you now. Please let Mrs Tishall know how much you'll need and how long for and she'll have it delivered. Now your injury is obviously causing pain, if you'll get up on the table I'll check you over while we wait."
Emily tried to argue but she had never met a doctor like Martin Ellingham, he was gruff, cranky, had the bedside manner of a drunken gnat, was gentle with Caleigh and managed to out stubborn her with logic and facts.
Her 'I'm fine' was met with a litany on physical health being critical to the successful rearing of a child was presented in such a way Emily couldn't argue her way out of, which resulted in her placing Caleigh on the floor and hopping up on the examination table.
"She's not crawling yet…" Emily assured him as he stepped over the baby.
On the floor the baby slowly toppled onto her side. Emily's eyes tracked Caleigh and watched for the telltale signs that the movement would result in spit up.
"She's barely sitting up."
He palpated the angry red scar tissue gently.
"At 8 months old? Have you spoken to a pediatrician?"
"Yeah but we're not worried yet, she's making all the right moves, getting up into the right positions but can't maintain her balance which is pretty normal for vestibulocochlear aplasia."
"Because her brain is only getting some of the messages that she's moving, the rest of her body isn't reacting in time." Doctor Ellingham commented appreciative of her correct terminology usage. He hit a particularly tender spot causing Emily to wince.
"I want to see you again in a week, take it easy and come see me if the child has any issues." he declared abruptly and kicked her out of the surgery.
Emily's not sure how but around the village she became known as 'the American with the sick baby'.
It still felt strange introducing them as Matilda and Carys… her head was screaming that they are Emily and Caleigh. Her baby isn't sick… just needs different tools, she's not a high school literature teacher who lost her husband in the car accident that injured her and has come to Portwenn to recover and grieve.
But she is, this is the part she has to play. Matilda Holt came to the UK on a teachers exchange 5 years earlier and met her husband. At the end of the year she resigned from her job in Seattle to stay in London with Alun. 6 months later they eloped to Gretna Green and according to the information pack that came with the ID they'd been wanting a baby ever since.
Matilda quit her job to stay at home with Carys and 8 weeks before coming to Portwenn, Alun had been killed in the car accident that injured Matilda.
Emily didn't have to pretend to be grieving.
She was grieving the loss of her mother… despite the message JJ passed on Emily didn't believe Elizabeth would ever forgive her. It had been close to a decade since Emily and her father had done more than exchange Christmas and birthday cards, he'd never even responded to Caleigh's birth announcement.
As prepared as she had been to parent alone Emily missed her team… Hotch understood being a terrified parent willing to do anything to protect your child.
There must be something to the theory of sea air being good for you because within 6 weeks of arriving in Portwenn Emily had put back on all the weight she had lost while in hospital and the local's were caught up in the summer tourist season leaving her alone.
She split her days between working on threat analysis for the DOJ and working with Caleigh to improve her balance and just as she reached 11 months old the baby could finally sit up on her own for more than a few seconds.
Doctor Ellingham seemed to have taken Caleigh on as a personal project and brought his son James up to visit once a week. Emily had been trying to work out the relationship between the Doctor and James' mother, they seemed to bounce between lovers, best friends and worst enemy's.
James would sit happily with Emily while the Doctor assessed Caleigh's progress and came up with suggestions for Emily to try and help Caleigh along.
The funniest thing was Emily spent more time counseling him on his relationship with Louisa then he did seeing to their medical needs. Apparently the two of them had a bad habit of miscommunicating and every week had another drama. More than once Emily could do nothing more than laugh as he sat there and tried to maintain his dignity.
Louisa had been wary of the other woman at first until Martin brought her up to Emily's with him one day finally explaining his interest.
"She was badly injured in the accident that killed her husband on top of having a baby with developmental delays from a congenital birth defect. I go up there to check on Matilda and the baby because after what happened with Mrs Tishall and the gossip that's been going around she's understandably leery about coming into town."
Louisa studied him intently for a moment, after so many years Martin wasn't all that hard to read "You're making sure she's looking after the both of them."
"Yes" Martin responded shortly "And she's a good sounding board for when we disagree. Matilda seems to have a knack for… translating for lack of a better word."
"So you tell her what's going on and she tells you what to do about it." Louisa clarifies still a little unsure of this foreigner.
"Once she stops laughing at me, yes." He reached out and banged on the front door. "I would imagine this is much like having a sister" he mused.
Caleigh's first birthday is bittersweet.
Emily had thought it would be a fun day full of cake, streamers, presents, family and friends. In her head she'd been thinking of a picnic in Belle Haven Park and an open invite to anyone who wanted to turn up. Instead it's just the two of them...
She'd found a dairy free chocolate cake recipe online weeks before and after several test runs which ended in absolute disaster for the first two, the third attempt is somewhat edible and the fourth is perfect so she has a cake and and a couple of small presents for Caleigh to open.
She dresses Caleigh in a beautiful pale yellow dress with tiny bluebells embroidered all over it and fixes a matching bow in the wispy brown hair. Emily, making sure there are no identifying landmarks in view, video's Caleigh tearing at the paper a look of complete confusion on her face as the pieces come off in her hand to find the stuffed elephant below.
The confusion morphs to absolute delight on Caleigh's face as she pulls the plush toy to her face and hugs it brings a matching delighted smile to Emily's face.
Lighting a single candle on a piece of cake Emily holds it in front of the camera and after a few seconds blows it out and feeds a few bites to the new toddler.
Attaching the 2 minute video to a message Emily sends it to her handler with a short request.
Please forward to her Grandmother
The message would bounce through several different servers and countries before getting to the State Department.
Slipping the phone into her pocket she picked up Caleigh and the picnic basket and headed down to the beach.
Two days later in the embassy in Tunis Elizabeth's email beeps. She opens the email and watches the video with tears in her eyes.
Opening a new email she attaches a copy and sends it to Aaron Hotchner. Elizabeth watches the video on loop for 15 minutes before managing to tear herself away and back to her work.
Hotch was in the process of handing over to Rossi before flying out to Pakistan when the email came through.
Seeing who it was from and the name of the file he instructed Rossi the gather the rest of the team in the conference room.
10 minutes later they were all sitting waiting.
"I know updates on Caleigh have been scarce out of necessity but my contact in WitSec just forwarded me this. I thought you all might like to see it." he hits play and sits back.
"She's so pretty…" Garcia gasps and rests her head on Morgan's shoulder "Just like her mama" he agrees.
Rossi is the only one who notices the picked down nails on the hand feeding Caleigh cake. He doesn't look to Hotch but JJ who's returned to the team just in time to replace Hotch.
"Have you thought about going back to London?" Louisa and Emily are spending a sunny Saturday afternoon in early September in Emily's garden watching James enjoy the sun from his pram and Caleigh appears to be stuck on her hands and knees.
At not quite 13 months she wasn't crawling yet. Just like sitting up she could get into the right position and move her hands knees in a crawling motion but simply couldn't maintain her balance in that position for any length of time.
"Yes… and no" Emily sighs "it's so peaceful here… a part of me wants to raise her back home but… here I can hide away from the world and pretend we're on holiday."
It was the most honest thing she'd ever said to Louisa.
She wanted to be back in DC with her friends and family, she wanted her job back and she wanted to raise Caleigh there. As pleasant as Portwenn is it's not home, but the longer Emily spends here the more she starts thinking about staying, making a life here.
Be Matilda and Carys forever.
No one here would ever know her as anything different. Portwenn didn't have arms dealers and serial killers, their police department was a single man and the most dangerous person in town was the handy man who seemed to be continually coming up with the wildest get rich quick schemes. It would be so easy to disappear into this life forever, let Emily and her baggage go.
No more carrying a gun, no more killers, kidnappers and child molesters. Matilda Holt didn't have secrets, she didn't have a kill count, she didn't know how to profile, she hadn't spent her childhood being dragged from country to country, she wasn't fluent in 6 different languages.
No more traveling to seek out the worst of the worst, reconciling the same hands that pulled the trigger on a suspect so gently cradled her daughter.
No more girls nights with JJ and Garcia, no more Hotch, Reid, Rossi and Morgan… as much as she loved them they were all damaged in their own way.
The people here in Portwenn live a beautiful, simple life that was so easy to sink into.
Emily stared at the phone in her hand. A call from a number she'd hoped to never see… Tom telling her Declan was missing.
After several minutes of contemplating her next move a quiet thump jarred her and brought her attention back to the tiny living room. On the other side of the coffee table Caleigh was resting her cheek against the wooden floor banging away with tiny fists. As far as Emily could tell the 13 month old did that to feel the vibrations. Emily stamped out a gentle beat causing her daughter to giggle.
She'd love to set up a sub woofer for so Caleigh could learn what people dance to…
That was for later… she needed to decide what to do now.
END CHAPTER 12
