Been a while hasn't it? No doubt sdome oif you are sick of me by now. So as to appease those who would harm me, here's the latest chapter for all you happy people!


Chapter twelve.

Temari moved to put some distance between herself and the Hyuuga, knowing quite well that they relied purely on their Taijutsu, with very little ninjutsu. And normally this would be the case, were it not for Naruto's training regimen.

As it were, the minute the fight began, Hinata hurled a slew of kunai at the blonde kunoichi, only for Temari to dodge them as if they weren't there. Unbeknownst to the kunoichi though, that was exactly what Hinata wanted. As soon as the last kunai left her fingers she pulled all her fingers together into the snake seal, before pulling her hands apart sharply.

Abruptly, the Kunai changed direction in midair, aimed at the blonde. Temari used her fan to block them, but in the process blocked her view of Hinata. Cursing at the folly, the eldest sand sibling moved the fan out of the way, only to curse as she discovered Hinata had made use of the time to vanish.

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"What the hell was that?" Shikamaru muttered, frowning down into the arena in confusion, "The Kunai just changed direction in mid-air...Isn't that impossible?"

"Chakra strings." Naruto replied with a snort, "Not unlike what our black clothed friend uses to control those oversized dolls of his." he added, tilting his head towards Kankurou.

The puppet-master began to froth at the mouth at the thinly veiled insult, but kept silent, mainly because he didn't want to agitate his younger brother. Gaara, however, was ingoring his brother in favor of his fellow Jinchuuriki.

'He'd defeated the Hyuuga prodigy so easily' the redhead muttered, eyeing the blonde warily, 'this one…is dangerous.'

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Temari used her closed fan like a staff to block several kunai, only to curse as Hinata burst from the shrubbery behind her, palms glowing with Chakra. "Hyaku Retsu Sho!" the heiress cried out launching into one of the many Hyuuga styles, the hundred palm strike. While being nowhere near as deadly or effective as the infamous 128 strikes, it still meritted enough attention to be avoided.

Temari grimaced flipping the fan open and sheltering behind it. While her fan managed to act as a shield, it was clear the older kunoichi was at a disadvantage in close-quarters combat. Leaping back to put some distance between them, she moved to swing her fan ready to cut the heiress down with a kamaitachi. Unfortunately, this left her wide open.

Hinata, seizing the moment, lunged forwards with startling speed and ferocity, gracefully turning in a technique she developed herself "Jyuken:" she called out, palms glowing an ephemeral white, "Hakuro Tenbu!"

The spinning action of the dance was as beautiful as it was deadly. Those who knew the pain a single Jyuken strike could create, could only watch on in awe as this new move combined the power of the Jyuken with Hinata's own natural grace. The heiress repeated several consecutive strikes against the Suna nin, all of which connected, with her upperbody, neatly severing all of her chakra. Finally, the Hyuuga heiress slammed both palms into the kunoichi's side, emitting a blast of Jyuken that sent the blonde girl flying.

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"O-kay…" Naruto whistled, raising an eyebrow at the sight below, "THAT'S a new one…she never showed me THAT one while we were training."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at this, but otherwise thanked his lucky stars for not winning the last round, not liking the idea of being pounded into patty by the girl he could have sworn had been as timid as a kitten.

'Guess even a kitten still has claws.' the Nara muttered, shivering unconciously as he eyed prone form of Temari from the railing.

Kankurou was looking decidedly worried about his sister, whilst Gaara looked indifferent, on the outside at least. Internally, there was a small part of him that was tor between concern for her wellbeing, as he'd have to put up with Kaknkurou on his own if she died, and disapointment at the lack of blood in the fight.

Shino was as opaque as usual, but internally the Aburame was proud of his teammate for improving so far in such a little time. He sent a silent nod of approval towards Naruto, who returned it with one of his own, the two understanding each other without the need for words.

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Hinata walked over to the prone form of Temari and pulled out a kunai, "Surrender," she ordered, pointing it at her opponent's throat, "I have no wish to kill you."

Temari could do nothing but glare at the girl as the announcer effectively ended the match. 'Dammit!' she swore, feebly trying to move her arms, as the medic nin came to escort her off to the infirmiry. 'The attack is due to take place any minute…I can't stay like this!'

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"It would appear as if thing's aren't going so well for you, Kazekage-dono." Sarutobi joked, smiling at his younger counterpart. The blue robed kage didn't reply, beyond glaring at the hokage, causing Sarutobi to frown. "Yondaime Kazekage is awfully quiet today," he noted, "normally you'd get into such a froth over such a defeat, especially since it concerns your daughter."

The Kazekage chuckled, "Forgive me," he pleaded cheerfully, eyeing the older kage from behind his veil, "I've not been myself recently."

Sarutobi frowned but said nothing, turning his attention back to the arena below, though on the inside his mind was ticking away like a well oiled clock. 'He's never been this polite before either,' the elder Sarutobi muttered, recalling the Yondaime Kazekage's particularly foul mouth whenever he'd gotten into arguments with the late Yondaime Hokage.

'This man,' he deduced, sending the calm figure next to him a wary look, 'isn't the yondaime Kazekage.'

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Hinata walked into the booth with the other contestants and stood next to Naruto. The Hyuuga flushed as she caught the look in the blonde's eyes, it was a look that practically screamed 'FOX!', a look that drove her up the wall, in a good way of course. One of his masked leers was on his face and she couldn't help but flush at it.

"Been holding that one back have we?" Naruto greeted, a coy look in his eyes as he shook his head teasingly, "You little vixen…"

Hinata's flush deepened and she looked away, while Shino raised an eyebrow. He considered himself as an 'older brother' figure to Hinata, and thus knew of her crush on their blonde classmate. Though said blonde had seemed a little…odd as of late, the Aburame had given his teammate his silent blessing in her endeavors, as any verbal one would have caused unwanted discomfort for the girl.

Though he didn't like where the blonde's hand was going, a little TOO below the belt for his tastes.

"Naruto…can I have a word?" he asked, moving up behind the teen. Naruto jumped, startled, then nodded, following the stoic genin out of the booth. "I understand that you and Hinata have, unofficially, become and item." The Aburame admitted, ignoring the look of interest in the blonde's eyes, "However, I would appreciate it if you would keep your displays of affection…private."

Naruto frowned for a moment, then raised his eyebrows in understanding, "Oh…you saw that." When the Aburame didn't reply he nodded, "Got it Shino, no petting in public." he leered at the Aburame, as if daring him to say anything, "I AM allowed to hug and kiss her though…right?"

Shino, slightly taken back by this nodded anyway. "If she allows it." He stated, before turning to move, only to stop as Naruto held out a hand.

"Shake on it?" Naruto asked, holding his arm out and smirking behind his mask. Shino looked at the hand, then took it, shaking it once and letting his hand drop, turnign back to the waiting booth.

"Was something wrong, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked, looking at the two as they returned, Naruto smiled at her and shook his head.

"Just guy stuff," he assured her, ruffling her hair calmingly, "nothing serious."

Hinata looked confused for a minute, wondering what her stoic teammate could have wanted.

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Ten minutes passed, and the crowd was getting a little…violent, to say the least.

"WHERE'S THE UCHIHA?!"

"WE WANT UCHIHA!"

"WHERE'S MY WALLET?!"

Other than that last one, it would appear that their demands were clear.

"Where the hell IS Sasuke?" Naruto muttered, "Dammit, getting special treatment again, if I'd been late for one second they'd disqualify me."

"I doubt they'd be that extreme." Shikamaru muttered, until the look in Naruto's eyes told him the blonde knew what the hell he was talking about.

"No offense to Sasuke, but if they don't disqualify him, I'm gonna so chew into them." Naruto muttered, "I mean, I want to fight him, but if he can't show up on time, then tough nuggets."

As if he'd spoken through a microphone, Aoba stood foreward and got their attention, "Ladies and gentlemen, it pains me to say this, but we have to continue the matches. The ten-minute window for Uchiha Sasuke has closed, he is now disqualified."

At that second there was a swirl of leaves and, when it cleared, two figures were standing in the clearing, one with silver hair, the other with the Uchiha crest on his back.

"Yo." Kakashi said, "Sorry to keep you waiting." The death glares coming off the audience actually caused the jounin to shiver, looking over at Aoba he asked nervously, "Ano…is something wrong?"

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After Sasuke had been physically dragged away for attempting to murder his jounin sensei, the medics only suceeding after hitting him with enough tranquilizers to take down a horny Jiraiya, Kakashi was gratefully dragged of to the medical ward with severe head trauma, a result of having his head introduced to the arena floor, intimately and repeatedly.

Genma, snickering at the perpetually late cyclops' predicament, shook himself once, before announcing the begining of the second round of the finals.

"Uzumaki Naruto versus Sabaku no Gaara:" the senbon chewing Jounin announced, "Contestants, please enter the arena."

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Naruto looked over at the red-head that had so easily defeated Lee and frowned. 'A clash of the demons,' he noted sarcastically 'just how strong is the Ichibi?'

Shaking himself, the blonde made for the steps, sending a parting wave towards Hinata. "Don't forget our wager, Hinata-chan." He reminded, earning a flush from the girl that caused Shino to raise an eyebrow.

Walking down the corridor the blonde frowned, looking over tyhe bloodstains with morbid fascination. 'Seems someone had a little…misunderstanding.' He thought, noticing the corpses of two shinobi. 'He does quick work.' He muttered appreciatively, before walking past them. 'Hopefully it isn't the result of an itchy trigger finger.'

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Gaara glared at the blonde as he came down the steps, annoyed to no end. The fight with the Uchiha was supposed to be the signal for Orochimaru's invasion, but the homicidal redhead figured that this wouldn't put a wrench in their invasion plans.

'Sorry…kaa-san,' he muttered, wincing as Shukaku bitched on about the quality of blood he'd served the demon recently, 'I fed you some bad blood,' he glared at the blonde as he FINALLY enterred the arena, taking his sweet time as he read some sleazy porn novel, 'and this one doesn't seem to be much better.'

"Hey," Naruto called out, looking up from his page as marked it carefully, "you awake in there? Or is that damn tanuki affecting your hearing?"

Instantly, every sand shinobi in the area felt their heart stop in fear. 'He knows about Shukaku?' Baki muttered, looking around in fear that someone else knew. 'This isn't good.'

Gaara scowled, eyeing the blonde uncertainly. "You know about the monster within," he noted, allowing a little sand to lash around him like serpents, "yet you aren't afraid?"

"Afraid?" Naruto snorted, "Of an over sized raccoon with sand in it's genitals? Nope." He looked the redhead over, "But people don't see things that way…do they?" He snorted as Gaara refused to respond, "Man, I guess what they say about the desert is true," he muttered, eyeing the annoyed redhead with a vulpine grin, "sand DOES get into awkward places…there's gotta be a tonne up your ass at least."

Gaara's response to Naruto's joke was to hurl a mass of sand towards him in attempt to smash the annoying blonde to a bloody pulp. Dodging swiftly, the blonde jinchuuriki used his shuriken to try and distract the redhead, only for Gaara to deflect it with a Suna-bunshin.

"Resourceful…aren't we?" Naruto muttered, watching as the bunshin absorbed the shuriken before dissipating, "Though something tells me that the amount of sand you can use is limited to what's in that overgrown gourd on your back."

Gaara's face remained expressionless, earning a smirk form the blonde, "I'm right aren't I?" he chirped, "The sand in the gourd is actually the effect of old Chakra…and you control it through will power."

"What of it?" Gaara said, annoyed that his technique had been seen through so thoroughly, earnign yet another chuckle from Naruto.

"C'mon, lighten up would you?" the blonde pouted pointing at the sky, "It's a beautiful day, the sun's shining, the birds are singing, and we're just two guys having a friendly spar."

Gaara blinked at the absurdity of the blondes statement, "Are you insane?" he deadpanned, knowing quite well how hypocritical he sounded.

"Everyone's a little insane," Naruto replied, eyes glittering cheekily as he pointed at his own skull, "that's what keeps things interesting."

Gaara couldn't help it, the corner of his lip twitched in the beginnings of a smile, surprising no-one more than himself.

"So what's up with pork boy up there?" Naruto asked, thumbing up at an outraged Kankurou, "Is his Barbie fetish natural or was he abused as a child?"

Gaara was fighting to keep a straight face, the suna no yoroi cracking and falling off, revealing his struggling features. 'What's wrong with me?' he wondered in amazement 'What...is this strange feeling in my chest?'

"Or maybe he's just sexually frustrated," Naruto commented, looking a little sympathetic, "and that things his version of a blow up doll."

That did it, the dam burst.

Time stood still…Hell froze over…Tsunade won at poker.

The representatives of Sunagakure could only watch in disbelief, shock, and a sense of apocalyptic fear.

Sabaku no Gaara, the Ichibi no Jinchuuriki, was laughing his ass off, in public.

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"You see? It really is that good of a day." Naruto repeated, as Gaara rolled around on the ground, clutching his sides, "But seriously, if he's that frustrated, why not just buy a proper blow up doll, using those puppets gotta be murder on his 'ninja tools'." He winced, poiting at his own 'package' in sympathy, "I mean…think of all the splinters…"

This set Gaara into another laughing spiel, actually gasping for air as he pounded on the ground. While up in the stands, Kankurou was too surprised at the sight of Gaara laughing to be outraged. Hinata flushed scarlet at the innuendos, while everyone else seemed to give the black-clothed shinobi a wide berth.

Looking down at his opponent, Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Hey…you okay there?" He knelt next to Gaara, patting him on the back "Talk to me buddy, it's alright, let your feelings out…" he winced, "Just don't come out of the closet or something…I ain't good with that kind of stuff."

Gaara would have strangled the idiot with the sand if the look on the blonde's face hadn't been so comical, causing the redhead to burst out laughing again.

Naruto chuckled, then leaned forwards until his mouth was next to Gaara's ear. "I can help you…seal off Shukaku." he whispered with a smirk.

Gaara stopped laughing abruptly, looking up at the blonde in shock.

"From the looks of things, you haven't had a decent night's sleep in years," Naruto noted "that's because whoever sealed the tanuki fucked things up and did it half-assed." Grinning he thumbed his own chest, "But me? I use my whole ass, pun not intended." He smirked at the redhead.

Gaara stared at the blonde for a moment, before frowning, "And why should I believe you?" he muttered, knowing from experience how treacherous people could be.

Naruto sighed, shaking his head tiredly. "Because us 'Monsters' have to stick together." He replied, letting some of Kyuubi's chakra leak out, enough to send Shukaku in to a fit, his screams of terror ricocheting off the inside of Gaara's skull.

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"What's Naruto doing?" Ino muttered, sitting next to Sakura, "Looks like he's having a heart to heart with that freak…"

"Naruto's a freak himself," Sakura snorted, "maybe their bonding."

Chouji scowled at the two, reminding himself that he couldn't do anything strenuous for a week or so, until his injuries healed, otherwise the two would be eating knuckle sandwiches.

'Naruto,' the Akimichi muttered, 'you don't deserve this kind of treatment…'

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Flashback.

"Hey! Chouji!"

The Akimichi looked up and was surprised to see Naruto in the window. "Thought I'd stop by and pay you a visit, sorry for using the window but the doctors don't like me much here for some reason."

Chouji nodded and let the blonde in, noticing he had a scroll with him, "What's that?"

Naruto grinned and put the scroll on the floor, unrolling it and rubbing some blood across it. When the smoke cleared, two ramen bowls and a book were lying on the floor.

"Knowing you, you're sick of the crap they're feeding you here," Naruto noted, "so I figured I'd treat you to an Ichiraku super sized rib deluxe." He smirked at the genin, "You're favorite right?"

Chouji stared at the massive bowl of sweet, rameny goodness, before turning an awestruck face towards the blonde. "I love you."

Naruto snickered, "Steady there, I'm spoken for." He patted him on the shoulder, "Besides, I make a terrible cook, so there's nothing to see in me anyway."

Chouji snorted, and the two performed the ramen worshipping ritual of snapping chopsticks, slurping the noodles, and downing the heavenly broth with much gusto.

"OH! Almost forgot!" The blonde said, pointing at the book, "Brought you some reading material, figured you'd be bored staring at the walls all day.

Chouji looked at the book in question and choked on his ramen, as the title" Icha-Icha paradise; Directors cut, was burned into his retinas.

"I'd recommend chapter 15…there's an interesting tale about a shinobi, a horde of kunoichi and whipped cream."

End Flashback

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The food was enough to elevate Naruto to God like status in the genin's mind, and he promptly added him to the 'Protect with everything I have' list, right under Shikamaru.

So it was much to the shock of two kunoichi, when the normally laid back Akimichi growled at them.

"Seeing as you two didn't even put up a decent fight in the semi-finals, you've no right to comment on Naruto's actions." Chouji snapped waspishly, glaring at Sakura in particular, before fixing his gaze on Ino, "If you two spent more time training than fantasizing about Sasuke, you'd realize that, out of all the rookies, you're the weakest."

Ino's mouth opened and shut in shock, Sakura was likewise rendered speechless, a first.

"You tell 'em Chouji," Kiba replied with a smirk, "Naruto's strong, that makes him okay in my book." He grinned, "I mean, he took down Hinata's cousin like it was nothing! Forehead and Blondie would've gone down within a minute."

Ino was about to deny that claim when Chouji threw a wrench in the works, "Tell me about it," the chubby teen scoffed, "when we met Neji in the forest, Ino tried flirting with him to get their team's scroll." He snorted, "Needless to say, Neji wasn't impressed."

"He's gay! That's the only reason!" Ino yelled, flushing scarlet, not noticing the glare Tenten was leveling at the back of her head fro further up the stands.

"I can assure you he's not gay."

Everyone jumped as Lee's sudden appearance startled them, "But he has to be!" Ino yelled, "And how would you know anyway, he turn you down?"

"After what I saw him and Tenten doing in the forest," Lee replid, blushing like a tomato, "there's no way Neji-kun is gay." Abruptly, the boy ducked to prevent a mace colliding with his head, as Tenten, hidden amongst the crowd and flushing scarlet, hurled it at him with devastating force.

Kiba whistled, "Peeping on the lovers eh?" he snickered at the embarrassed look on Lee's face. "See anything good?"

"NO! I SAW NOTHING!" Lee yelled, waving his arms comically, broken leg forgotten, "I DIDN'T MEAN TO SEE IT! I WAS LOOKING FOR NEJI AND HEARD HIS NAME AND THEN…" He flushed magenta and began to twiddle his fingers; "Ano…Neji doesn't seem to use his byakugan when he's…occupied…"

Gai was looking down at his student thunderstruck, "LEE! YOU WATCHED THEM?!" he bellowed, a look of pure shock and horror on his face.

"NO SENSEI! I LEFT AS SOON AS…" he twiddled his thumbs, "…as soon as I could move again…"

Kiba grinned, "And how long was that?"

Lee's blush resembled a setting sun, and that was all the answer the rookies needed.

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In the medical room, Neji rubbed his nose, '…this is not a good omen…' he predicted wisely, 'Hyuuga NEVER sneeze…'

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Naruto smiled down at the shocked Gaara, "Like I said, us 'monsters' gotta stick together…" he smiled, "Uzumaki Naruto, Kyuubi no Jinchuuriki at your service."

Gaara's eyes widened as he took in the smile, 'This feeling…what is…' Tears streamed down the redheads face as he stared at his hands in confusion, "Mother…isn't with me?"

Naruto sighed, "That isn't your mother…that's Shukaku pretending." He sighed, "Kyuubi says that he always was a freak, and that he's not surprised to find him cross dressing."

Gaara blinked at the tanuki's outraged yells and laughed, "What do I have to do?"

Naruto grinned, "Relax, just throw the match after we fight for a bit, and I'll seal the bugger properly." He smiled, "I'll even release the genjutsu that stupid priest put on him, so he'll stop pretending to be your mother." He held out a hand, grinning down at the redhead like some benevolent diety.

"Whadd'ya say?"

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CLIFFHANGER NO JUTSU!

Bwahahaha! Lee saw something he shouldn't! And Neji! all that prim and proper behaviour was for naught! Your dirty secret is out!

How will Gaara react?! Tune in next time to find out!