12. Captain Jack's Misadventure
Captain Jack Harkness was back in London, about to attend one of those quaint coffee shop meetings the former companions of the Doctor had started holding every Wednesday, the sort of meeting where you talked about some general affair over a coffee cup the barista had brewed up for you, and munched on some sandwiches and salads that had been wrapped up and placed in the cooler for purchase. It was kind of cute in its own way, except a little mundane and boring for his tastes. Nothing exciting ever happened at these meetings, as the coffee shops they were held in were a by-product of a less revolutionary era, concerned with keeping up appearances and maintaining order so that the customers would be dying from a lack of excitement and adventures while enjoying an espresso grande.
Some of the former companions, probably most of them, didn't mind such a boring existence as they had gotten used to the years of leisure and relaxation they had experienced since leaving the Doctor, but at least a few of them-like Sarah Jane Smith and himself-had gotten used to bigger, grander things than sitting around in a coffee shop, drinking and chatting. These meetings were just a little bit too predictable for his taste, as a result of this environment, never amounting to anything more than a summarization of "what did you do this week", and "what did you do while traveling with the Doctor?". They probably repeated themselves a lot as well. Would he die from boredom? Probably, but then he would just get resurrected again. Thank you, Miss. Rose Tyler, or Miss Big Bad Wolf, whatever it was.
These meetings were also a little cramped when they had to huddle around a single coffee table together, spreading out only if their group was just too big. They were starting to outgrow the coffee shop space, Jack had noticed, taking up too much room from the general populace. They probably had gotten noticed as well by some of the regular customers and the baristas. Someone was bound to complain about, or question their regular meetings at some point. They needed to find a new space that could accommodate all of them, perhaps private as well when they felt like keeping their conversations about the Doctor to themselves. Perhaps they could meet at one of their houses, like at Sarah Jane's house or at the Brigadier's, but then the host might feel put-upon to accommodate all of them, and then the meeting would veer off into marveling at how lovely this house is, and where did you get all of these fine decorations? That would be the nadir of this group's existence, and they probably would disband if it got too mundane. Best to just stick with the coffee shop for now.
Jack tolerated the affair, understanding that some of these people were old-fashioned, being born in the 20th century or even earlier, and they wouldn't understand some of the things he had experienced in the 51st century, and in his travels through time and space. They wouldn't know about the adventures you could have at an underwater cafe, or on one of the moons of Rexel 5. The companions might have traveled with the Doctor, and they might have had some exciting meals along the way, but baby, they wouldn't have experienced at least 50 years worth of such exciting, exhausting meals. No, they enjoyed the coffee shop, their home away from home, and it was best to let them be satisfied with that for now.
Captain Jack sighed, sipping a fruity cocktail—he had forgotten the name of it, but it was an extravagant name to match its exorbitant price, not its rather peach-fuzz melancholy buzz—and watching a couple of guys dance. He was at one of those gorgeous London clubs that really lit up on a Friday or a Saturday night, but now it was a Wednesday morning, and the crowd was kind of nonexistent, aside from a few entertainers, the bartender, a couple of drunkards scattered about the place and the bouncer sleeping in the corner. He felt kind of blue, about to attend one of those well-meaning but dull sort of meetings, and he wasn't even going to get the chance to enjoy himself.
He missed Ianto. He missed Gwen. He missed Tosh and Owen-he just missed Cardiff and Torchwood in general, even if it was just for one day. Driving over here to London for the day and then driving back—at least there was nothing going on in Cardiff at this time to take up his mind with worry, but still, he wondered if they were doing well without him. Ever since he had come back from his brief trip to Utopia with Martha and the Doctor, and experienced the Year That Never Was, he had come to appreciate Torchwood even more than before, especially his team of people. They really were a team, and even had managed to stay together when he had sort of abandoned them to pursue the Doctor. He had missed them, and even though they had kind of moved on for awhile, he did know that they had missed him as well while he was gone. He loved them, and he didn't want to lose them again.
Still, he wondered if the Doctor was doing well, without Rose or Martha to protect him from himself. Captain Jack was sipping his cocktail again when he noticed an old-looking man with a coiffed mane of white hair, wearing a red velvet smoking jacket and frilly shirt along with evening trousers and boots, inch his way along towards him. Captain Jack's eyebrows arched up, surprised and taken aback by the appearance of this stranger, especially as he thought he saw the glint of a gold medallion peeking out from behind the white frilly shirt. It made him want to laugh, but he was intrigued by this fellow who appeared to be—well, from the 1970s, if not earlier. They had some strange styles back in the 70s-he never had quite taken to those disco suits people kept talking about-though he thought it could be just some retro look. But this fellow seemed distinguished enough to be wearing any old tatters flung against the wall, and still look smart.
"Excuse me," The older-looking man said, approaching him slowly and cautiously, "But are you the holder of the missing puzzle piece from Lombart?"
"I could be the one that you seek," Jack said, grinning as he turned to the older-looking man. Jack was well over 140 years old, though he would not say just how old, while the gentleman appeared to be no older than 60 at the most. For Jack, 60 years old had been the prime of his life, and he thought that this fellow could match him easily enough in whatever game he wanted to play.
"Oh, you're not him at all," The older-looking man said dismissively, turning away. "So sorry to have bothered you."
"Wait a moment, I could be the one that you seek," Jack said, finishing up his drink and placing it down before following after the older-looking man. "I may not know Lombart, or have the exact missing puzzle piece that you're searching for, but I know a lot of things that might interest you, and could prove quite useful in this endeavor," Jack said, trying to corner the gentleman so that they might be able to enjoy themselves together. "My qualifications for this sort of quest or mission are through the roof, and I could help you tremendously on-"
"That's nice, but I don't want to bother you, and I don't think you can help me in this matter." The fellow said, trying to step around Jack. "I must find the gentleman I was told to seek, but I don't know what he looks like, or what the missing puzzle piece looks like-my fault entirely. Since you're not him, I will kindly ask you to leave me alone!" The fellow cried, skirting around Jack.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked, a frown replacing his spoiled smile.
"You're annoying." The older-looking gentleman sniffed. "You bother me tremendously, just everything about you. I only approached you because I thought you might be the one I was told to seek, because you have a look about you of wrongness and strangeness." The older-looking man gestured. "But since you are not the one I seek, I will leave you alone. Good day, sir. And please leave me alone," The older-looking man said, turning away from Jack.
Jack looked down despondently and sighed, shaking his head. Did everyone just dislike him? First the Doctor had fled, giving him the slip because he had become 'a fixed point in time' or something like that, then—Jack looked up, startled. "Doctor!" He called.
A person had stirred at the bar, when Jack had called the Doctor's name, but Jack ignored that person for now as the Third Doctor turned around, staring at Jack. "What's that you say?" The Third Doctor asked, intrigued.
"You're the Doctor, aren't you?" Jack grinned, even though he felt slightly disappointed. The man that he winds up flirting with in a bar, at random, just happens to be one of the incarnations of the Doctor-and one that doesn't recognize him. Just his luck, one out of a billion chance, perhaps a trillion chance-he was an impossible man. "I've met you before. Or at least twice, if you count the regeneration-you haven't met me yet, have you?" He asked, further disappointed as the realization hit him. This was just not his day.
"I'm afraid not." The Third Doctor said, staring at him. "You're a soldier, aren't you?" He asked, slightly disparagingly.
"Captain Jack Harkness," Jack sighed, and held out his hand, "And technically not a soldier, or at least not now. I have been a soldier in the past." He said.
"Of course you are," The Doctor muttered, gingerly grasping and shaking Jack's hand as if afraid to touch him. "I have been with soldiers for the past two years or so, and one of the first trips that I take in my newly repaired TARDIS is one where I meet a soldier that I happen to have-befriended?" He questioned.
"Sort of." Jack shrugged. "I have traveled with you in the past, a long time ago, but...you left me somewhere when I changed." Jack said, glaring at the Doctor slightly.
"Ah. A sore point." The Doctor remarked, glancing around. "Not one that you feel the need to revenge upon me?" He asked. "I have a habit of making enemies out of friends."
"Not really." Jack shrugged. "I had a long time to live with my condition, and then I got used to it, though I always wanted some answers to my questions, possibly a solution to my problem." He said sighing. "I met you for the second time about a month ago in real time, though it was a year ago for me, after over a hundred years of waiting for you to come back to me. You gave me some answers as to why you had avoided me, and left me alone, but you had no solution to my problem. Nothing you could do." He said.
"Sorry." The Doctor said, staring at Jack. "I have wronged you, haven't I?"
"Nothing you can do, I suppose, although I took advantage of some of the benefits this...gift, I guess you can call it, had bestowed upon me," Jack sighed. "Made things livelier, at any rate, and gave me a new lease on life." He said.
"Good to hear, Jack," The Doctor said, nodding and patting Jack on the back, "Good to hear."
"Thanks," Jack said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "So what is this missing puzzle piece you're searching for?" He asked.
"A riddle of sorts," The Doctor said, glancing around, "I was contacted by a seller, who wanted me to-that could be him over there," The Doctor said, nodding towards a booth in the far corner of the room, where a man appeared to be sitting and drinking, although his face and most of his body was hidden from view.
"Do you want me to watch out for you?" Jack asked, studying the seller.
The Doctor eyed him. "No, thank you, I'll be fine." He said, though he hesitated. "Just wait right here a moment, I'll be back, and we can talk some more. Watch the doors if you must." He added the last, before he headed for the booth. Neither one of them had noticed a seat had vacated at the bar several minutes before.
Jack, amused, retreated towards the bar a little, to get out of the way of the rest of the room, although he kept his eyes open for any signs of trouble. The Doctor never changed, even when his face did. Although Jack should be annoyed that, despite being the head of Torchwood Three in Cardiff-a commander in his own right, who had earned the respect of his team-he still allowed the Doctor to boss him around.
Still, he missed the old Time Lord, and their adventures together so long ago, and he did want the respect of the old Time Lord that he had grown to love, once upon a time, even when he had moved on since then, to other things and people, after years of heartache and misery. So he obeyed the Doctor's orders for now, knowing that it would be just for a short while, until the Doctor went away again. Jack could tolerate that much, at least.
Several minutes passed by as the Doctor, hunched over in conversation with the stranger at the booth, seemed to make headway in his negotiation for the price of a riddle. Captain Jack looked around once more, and then noticed the door behind the bar had opened, with several strange men in suits stepping out, peering about the club.
Jack stretched his arms and whistled. "Barkeep!" He called out. "How about a round of drinks for everyone here, on me?"
That had stirred the place up on a dull Wednesday morning, and for a moment Jack thought his ruse might work, as the Doctor was alerted that something was amiss. He tried to sneak out of the club with the seller, bending low to the floor. However, the strange men had been put on alert as well, suspicious of this odd occurrence, and though Jack had tried to block them, offering them a few mugs of beer and some minutes of his time, the strange men had spotted the Doctor. Immediately Jack slugged one of them, hoping to buy him a few more minutes of time, and then prepared to defend himself as one hand reached for his gun.
"Sorry, Jack, not today!" The Doctor called, appearing behind one of the strange men and-giving him a judo chop at the back of his neck? Whatever it was, it knocked the man down.
"I thought you abhorred violence!" Jack called as he slugged another man.
"Just anything to do with guns! Have I taught you nothing? Come along, Jack!" The Doctor called, as he, the seller, and Jack raced out of the club through the back.
Jack recognized the species of the seller as they raced through the kitchens. "Aren't you from-" Jack started to say.
"Never mind that!" The Doctor cried, as they ducked to avoid shots fired from the strange men, shots that weren't exactly bullets. The seller was hit, and Jack leapt up to fire back at the strange men. The Doctor listened to the dying words of the seller, and didn't bother to stop Jack in that moment. Jack was hit by a stray shot on the left side of his chest, but he didn't die just yet, as he dispensed with the final strange man.
"Let's get out of here," Jack said, wincing with the pain of his wound as he turned back to the Doctor.
"Good idea," The Doctor muttered, shutting the dead seller's eyes. The Doctor and Jack retreated out into the alleyway behind the club. "Are you all right?" The Doctor managed to ask Jack.
"I'm fine. Fine as you can be, when you don't die." Jack winced again. "How about yourself?"
The Doctor sighed. "I'm fine, I suppose, although-poor Raieat. He was supposed to retire, move to Bermuda, and enjoy life in the sunlight, but now..."
Jack slowly nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. Did you get the riddle?" He asked after a moment of silence.
"I believe so, considering," The Doctor muttered, glaring at Jack. "What is wrong with you? A person just died. Are you always this callous?"
"Doctor, I've lived almost two hundred years, oftentimes fighting-"
"I've lived three hundred years and more." The Doctor said. "And I always remember those who died-"
They heard a strange, familiar sound, and turned around to see the Doctor's TARDIS materializing-next to where another blue box was parked. "What in heaven's name-?" The Doctor started to say.
"I don't think heaven's name is in this," Jack remarked, smiling. Though this TARDIS was not his own, as his TARDIS did not have such a bright shade of blue, and had a different sign, at least this Doctor did not seem to recognize this TARDIS. "You're going to meet a future self, aren't you?" He asked.
"Why, yes, I suppose, the TARDIS certainly looks different," The Doctor remarked, studying it. "I wonder what could alter it so significantly?"
Jack opened his mouth, about to speak, when the TARDIS door opened, and a stranger's head popped out. "Hello! I'm the Eleventh, by the way." He remarked, stumping Jack, as he assumed this was the Doctor.
"Eleventh! But I'm-Third-" The other Doctor gasped, staring at the stranger.
"You seem to be aging backwards, Benjamin Button times twenty." Jack remarked as he realized just how old this stranger was, compared to this Third Doctor. "You're so vain, that song probably was written about you." Jack said.
"She wishes." The Eleventh Doctor muttered to himself.
Suddenly, someone else popped up behind Eleven. "Hello, Jack!" The Tenth Doctor said.
"Doctor! My Doctor!" Jack grinned, glad to see the familiar face at last. "My dream come true at last, I'm surrounded in a sea of Doctors!" He tossed his head back. "Although I never imagined it would be like this." He remarked, glancing towards Third.
"Never imagined it would be like this either." Third muttered.
"I remember this part." The Eleventh Doctor said to himself, smiling.
"Are you hurt badly?" The Tenth Doctor asked, noticing Jack's wound.
"Ouch. Yes." Jack grimaced to himself, clutching his side. "Let's go inside so I can die in the TARDIS." He said, as the Third, Tenth, and Eleventh Doctors helped him inside. It was bliss. "Barbara! Sarah Jane! Hello! Isn't this fun?" He called as the TARDIS dematerialized once more from the alleyway behind the club.
