Chapter 12
There were other minor incidents; the apparent riot in the third was explained by Gorbrin who was sitting for prep as being a valid practising of counter curses and the class had asked permission; which he had extended for a half hour, which would be up in ten minutes. At which point, as Gorbrin said, he would dejinx anyone who needed it and settle them down to write up their findings.
Percy Dweemer, who had been the visiting staff member, knew that Remus Lupin believed in a lot of practical work in DADA and nodded acceptance and hoped out loud that Gorbrin would be able to adequately undo Mr McLaggan who appeared to have met several nasty jinxes going the other way.
Gorbrin grinned.
"He told Lilith she was doing it all wrong" he said.
Professor Dweemer did NOT grin over McLaggan's predicament; for the boy was a sickly puce, dripping ichor from a number of exploding pustules, floating bent backwards bonelessly in a hoop shape with pale pink bats issuing from his nose farting as they came. Lilith had evidently gotten more than usually creative.
The Enchantment professor managed to contain his whoops of laughter until he had left and shut the door.
HE did not like McLaggan either.
oOoOo
As neither Porphyria nor Deborah were taking Divination to NEWT – Madam Spikenard having made it clear that it was NOT a soft option at this level, the reason they were only taking two NEWTs apiece – they had no reason to be table turning during their prep period even if it was a valid piece of divination not a nineteenth century muggle parlour game, as David told them severely when he caught them at it. As they had prep left unfinished and had got sidetracked into the silliness he gave them a good ticking off and told them that this was their first and only warning about study use.
He decided to ignore the state of affairs in the Belle Marauders' study where Mimi, whose stack of finished essays declared her industry, was busy dashing off a 'darling-I-love-you-forever-my-body-yearns-for-you ' letter to Darryl; and Bella was finishing her comparative magic essay with her stripy tail lashing and her facial stripes frowning in thought from a partial transfiguration.
David stepped hastily out again before they could rise for him.
Bella was very taken with her tail; it was a very expressive thing. It required a little engineering of her knickers but Bella was sufficiently ingenious to manage that; and continued to wear a stripy tail without the other manifestations of her partial transfiguration.
Besides, when she twitched it at Assim he got all boss eyed.
This led to a sudden and unexpected detention with the Comparative Magic professor when he jerked her firmly into a cupboard on her way out of breakfast to give her a thorough and masterful kissing that left Bella purring loudly – she kept her purring mechanism in place too – and rather shaky at the knees.
"Hrrr" said Assim "Bella if you tail-flirt with me you are looking for trouble!"
"There's a name for it?" said Bella, fascinated.
"It is time to teach you tiger etiquette" said Assim "You may have an hour with me every Sunday. If you behave and do not flirt so blatantly during the week I will also kiss you. If you misbehave, I shall not."
"It's so hard, wanting to be with you" whispered Bella, clinging to him.
"Yes" said Assim, ambiguously; detached her; and exited the cupboard.
Bella purred firmly to herself.
oOoOo
Halloween approached rapidly. Hogwarts did not hold a holiday as Prince Peak and Durmstrang did; but there was a feast and a relaxation of homework and prep periods on the thirty first of October, when instead of prep silly party games were played to the enjoyment of most if not all.
Peeves enjoyed Halloween too and threw water bombs of orange paper with pumpkin mask faces on them.
The Stripy Marauders had made them for him.
The weather had closed in entirely on quidditch now; as it stood, Gryffindor's first and second teams had played Ravenclaw and had lost the first team match and won the second; and Slytherin had played Hufflepuff and had, in the doleful assessment of Dunbar Finch, thoroughly murdered both teams of his house.
The second team's result of nine hundred and twenty to seventy HAD been rather humiliating.
Slytherin were confident of taking the shield this year and though anyone might beat this year's Hufflepuff teams, even Hellibore's Academy for Snobs and Dimwits – Lilith's less than tactful comment – it DID send a message to Ravenclaw.
Gorbrin had led a Hockey team to visit St Jodoc's over the weekend following Halloween – the school in Devon DID have a half term – and had been pleased to draw. They followed up with a friendly hurley match where nobody was really keeping score, just for fun.
Hurley with a soft ball as an indoor sport would be the main game of the winter besides dancing, Kung fu and duelling; and Gorbrin hoped to get in a few games of ice hockey at the safe end of the lake, where underground springs did NOT disrupt the formation of the ice.
oOoOo
And in the second half of the term, to go with the dancing lessons and informal dances there was to be the usual scramble of choosing partners for the Yule Ball.
The Belle Marauders all had settled on their life partners, not one of whom was available; and Bella's Assim so near and yet so far, as she said mournfully. As Isabel was missing Chad, Maud missing Fabian, Drusillina missing Leo and Mimi missing Darryl none of them were particularly sympathetic.
Bella decided to ask Nigel Baddock as he had improved beyond all measure and suggested that the others take each other. This was voted a great idea and after drawing straws for who were to be the male half – it was Maud and Drusillina – they started discussion on whether they should use hair growing potion to grow face fungus, or glue on false moustaches or just draw them on with burnt cork in the time honoured fashion as a token.
The upper sixth managed things with more or less philosophy if not necessarily enthusiasm save on the part of those with a well regulated love life; Gorbrin and Meliandra, Ming and Erica, Jordan and Stacey, Jardak and Jaska being the stable couples here, and David fairly surprised that there were so many already sorted out. Albert, rather pink in the face, explained to Pearl Brocklehurst that he was thinking of courting a girl in Durmstrang but that as she, Pearl, had never had any partiality for anyone, perhaps she might like to go with him.
Pearl was happy to do so; she was the last of Lionel Dell's blood group left at school and had hoped to meet someone in it who would suit her; but like Freya Tuthill was still looking.
Hugin Corbin said
"Thanks I already have a partner and so does my brother' when he and his twin were approached by the giggling pair that were Porphyria and Deborah.
"We have? Since when?" drawled Munin when they got rid of the girls.
"It's a subsequent engagement" said Hugin "And I'd rather dance with you, twin, than with either of those, even if I have to wear a frilly pink ballgown to do it."
"The mind boggles" said Munin. "The most interesting girls in our year have been taken; Hade Malfoy is taking Clem Yaxley just to match up with Flora and Fauna" he referred to Ludmila Yaxley and Damian Malfoy in the last two "And Lois Stavely is going with Silly Crouch-Jones. And the rest are old married couples near enough."
Hugin shrugged.
"I was thinking about a selection of Belle Marauders or failing that I might just ask Lilith Snape just for kickes and giggles."
"I always knew you were mad" said his brother.
"Or we could do a twin thing and borrow Gorbrin's sisters" said Hugin.
Munin blinked. He was not REALLY racist but the idea of taking goblins to the ball was not one he would have considered.
He shrugged.
"Why not? I'd as soon take even Lilith than those silly Huffer girls" he said.
Griselen and Genavka giggled when asked and suggested doing something identical so nobody knew which of each pair was which just because.
"After all" said Griselen "We HAD meant to go with Phil and Tony; but if they can't get around to asking us before two young gentlemen of style and address do so they can just seethe jealously and get in quicker next year."
"Not that we were using you but this isn't any romantic gesture on your part is it?" said Genavka.
"No it's to escape the dippy Huffer pair" said Hugin.
And if Philip Burke and Anthony Parkinson had their noses put out of joint, it certainly made them appreciate their friends the more and perhaps started them thinking that they had better look to their laurels! Both of them spent a lot of time at Malfoy Manor and looked perhaps on the twins as spare brothers rather than as girlfriends; which irked the girls now they were growing up. Philip resided in the school orphanage for having a father in prison and a mother in St Mungo's; and Tony escaped his family whenever he could, especially his sister, she having been expelled. He had the threat to hold out to his parents that he could use the law of child endangerment to appeal to the school to be its ward if they did not let him see his friends; which would make them look bad. And both boys were working towards working for Lucius in some capacity when they left school; which would give them security on their own recognisance and without being dependant on anyone.
oOoOo
Nigel Baddock was grateful for the invitation from Bella; and said so.
"Well you've worked hard on being a being since Uncle Severus sorted your head out" said Bella. "And once you have a partner you can indulge the nasty side that everyone has in sniggering at those who are NOT sorted out."
"Does everyone have a nasty side?" asked Nigel.
"Oh yes!" said Bella airily "It's just that being civilised means keeping it under control and only letting it out to deal with people who aren't nice at all; or to snigger at politicians and idiots in the paper but I repeat myself. People who go out of their way to make fools of themselves almost do deserve to be sniggered at; I guess if it's amused tolerance without too much malice in the snigger it's better. But then there are humourless stuck up gits who also rise beautiful like Randall Corner."
"I think it's a disease endemic in Ravenclaws" said Nigel.
"A lot of them anyway" said Bella. "Oh lumme, and just think of the fourth who get to go this year; and WHAT a performance Genevieve Harris is going to put on! Wands at dawn, hate mail, fights in the dorm…. She is such a silly little cow to egg on the dafter boys in her year."
The fourth were subject to the usual pangs of growing up over the ball. The Pepperingye Marauders had the headache of having four girls and three boys; Jingjie would go with Wanda to keep it in House, Isambard and Nathan with Charis and Tobala to keep it out of house in house – as Nathan put it – with two Slytherin going with two Gryffindors; and U-may firmly collected Magnus Weasley because he was inoffensive and would never manage to ask anyone for himself.
And Genevieve Harris was of course keeping all her swains dangling while she flirted and giggled, enjoying the attention.
Kettleburn and Ogden were not the only boys impressed with her pretty face and air of sophistication; Andrew Chesterfield in Gryffindor worshipped at her altar; and Bibaculus Wilkes in Slytherin wrote excruciatingly bad poetry to her; and in Ravenclaw, Samuel Carmichael and Cyprian Ogren were also willing victims.
It has to be said that Isambard could not resist stirring from time to time, as did fellow Slytherin Maximillian Montague.
Max had a cheeky tongue, but generally stopped teasing before a joke became cruel; the Pepperingye marauders gave him respect. It was a contrast to Ebenezer Gibbon who was as hard-faced a typical Slytherin of the old school as one might meet; the self important Walter Trimmer, and self opinionated would-be poet Bibaculus Wilkes who rose far too easily to make nicknaming him Bibulus worth the trouble, as Maximillian said. Max and Solon Bullivant had a good friendship going; they looked upon the fanfare surrounding the ball with cynical amusement and asked the only two Ravenclaw girls in the year apart from Wanda just because it would irritate all the other Ravenclaws, except Jingjie. Isis Pince was delighted to be asked by anybody; with her thick glasses she was no catch from the point of view of looks, and as she was often involving herself in radical causes was considered a bit of a nut as well. Her friend Odelia O'Hare – and it must be noted that Jingjie insisted on writing that O'Delia O'Hare – was inoffensive and quite unobtrusive too.
They had got themselves two of the most sardonic partners in the year; but were delighted just to have partners.
Once the other boys stopped making fools of themselves over Genevieve, they might suddenly realise that there were seven more boys than there were girls in that year and would kick themselves that they had not made more of an effort with other girls than the drama queen. Especially as two of the choices left were Hazel Spikenard and the rather bad tempered Meriel Llewellyn. And Meriel, a cousin of 'dangerous Dai' Llewellyn, had declared she would only go to the ball with someone who was good at quidditch and that she would not touch the leavings of that Harris girl with a bargepole; and the only two boys in the year who WERE good at quidditch were Nathan – who was already engaged to take Charis – and Cyprian, whose tongue was hanging far enough out over Genevieve that she could walk plain down to his tonsils, as U-may put it.
oOoOo
The Stripy Marauders considered it all highly amusing, and since they were allowed into Hogsmeade for the first time this year, being third years, they made sure to hang about and make dippy faces at fourth years who had not sorted themselves out yet and were trying to do so in Madam Rosmerta's teas shop.
"Brats, you have it coming to you next year" said Maximillian.
"Sure we do" said Lilith "But OUR year hasn't got an infestation of Amortentiata Honeypot Harris and her attendant flies."
"You do have a point" said Max. "Only a few irritants in other respects."
"Oh, Roxanne Shacklebolt can go with McLaggan and love themselves at each other and Hector Weasley can go with Michelle Makepeace and be boring at each other" said Lilith airily. "Most of the rest are mostly harmless. Actually even Weasley and Makepeace are mostly harmless now Michelle's been well squashed. Oh there's Sonia Goshawk in Ravenclaw; well I guess we could invite Trurk in from the forest."
"You're priceless" said Max.
oOoOo
The fourth who were NOT mesmerised by Genevieve found the whole situation embarrassing.
"I just SO wish it wasn't immoral to slip all her swains a love potion for somebody else" sighed U-may "While she's still posturing and being arch and pretending to choose. WOULDN'T it be funny to see her face as they all deserted her?"
"Crumbs yes!" chuckled Isambard.
"I know we break rules left and right but the ban on love potions DOES have a reason" sighed Nathan.
"It'd be even funnier if we made them all fall in love with Flitters" said Jingjie.
"OY! What has Flitters ever done to you?" said Wanda "Poor old boy! Having girls get silly about him would be bad enough, but BOYS?"
"I don't think it works that way unless you're already ragingly gay" said Charis.
"We could aim them at Hazel; she's sufficiently fond of herself that being worshipped by boys wouldn't seem strange." suggested Tobala
"EXCEPT" said Charis "It IS banned."
"Confundment isn't though" said Isambard. "Here Charis, you've got a decent handwriting, can you copy Harris's?"
"Just because I write a pretty hand doesn't mean I can copy her scrawl" said Charis "But in the Book of All Wickedness there's the ritual to enchant a pen to do so."
"Excellent!" said Isambard.
"What are you thinking?" said U-May.
"He's been reading Twelfth Night" said Jingjie.
"No, I got set swathes of it as an impot, all the speeches of Feste the Jester, for attaching that piece of paper to Porphyria Martin's back in prep saying 'please knock, in case anyone is at home for a change' and Gorbers kind of felt he had to uphold the honour of the prefects and all the while he was trying not to laugh."
"Well she isn't all there" said Tobala "And she's hopeless at keeping order in prep; worse than Pearl who at least merely ignores the row rather than making vague and wet sounding protests."
"And she didn't ought to leave it up to us" said Nathan. Isambard's note had been in response to the Pepperingye marauders being sufficiently irritated with the interruptions of the Genevieve Harris fan club that they had dropped langlock neatly on all of them and Genevieve too, that had been cancelled the moment the bell went so there was no evidence to complain about.
"So we're talking the 'if this should fall into thy hands revolve' crap, and 'thus she makes her very great pees'" said Nathan "Well she IS taking the piss but where do we go from here?"
"A written mind trap like Voldemort used to" said Isambard. "Either to make them fancy someone else, which seems a little unfair even if it is Hazel; or to find Genevieve plain, boring and unattractive."
"Flat, stale and unprofitable" murmured Wanda who may not have known the origin of the quote but she did know her Lord Peter Whimsey. Tobala poked her.
"Whatever" said Jingjie "That has definite possibilities. Charis, sweet chuck, away I implore thee unto the book of wickedness, and then purpose to enchant a quill forsooth."
"Go rub your chain with crumbs" said Charis. "Right, I'm on it."
"And U-may, as a fellow snake animagus, see what you can pester out of Lilith how to do it because I bet she knows" added Isambard.
"You come up with a brilliant plan and then say you don't know how to do it?" demanded U-May "What sort of a Marauder are you?"
"One that's too lazy to do library work when I have a Lilith on tap" grinned Isambard.
Several people Gibbsed him.
oOoOo
Lilith DID know; and on being told the purpose of their needs willingly imparted the information. It was a complex piece of dark arts that was, as she told them cheerfully, well beyond the level taught in Durmstrang even when they did have competent teachers. Only as Dark Arts were, like dark creatures, defined by intent this kind of made is off-white arts as the intent was to try to divert trouble generally.
"I don't care how you define it so long as we get to sort out the idiots" said Isambard.
Soon they were crafting a letter; and Isambard was having to learn to copy Genevieve's style to SOME extent in order to embed the curse; and they settled for making Genevieve sexually offputting rather than making the boys hate her because that WAS going too far. And if a teacher happened to have it fall into their hands, revolving or otherwise, it was unfair to make her hated by a member of staff, even if most of them were probably already heartily sick of her.
They squabbled for a while what to write on the outside; and settled for 'to my favourite boy' as ambiguous enough, with a strong attraction charm tied to anyone attracted to Genevieve. It was easy enough to drop it in the cloakroom; and Kettleburn was the first to pick it up.
He read it; and Ogden saw what he thought was Genevieve's handwriting and shouted at him, snatching at the letter.
"Yeah, you have it" said Kettleburn, relinquishing it readily.
Ogden duly just dropped it when it was picked up by Andrew Chesterfield; who also dropped it.
It needed a little help to be where Bibaculus Wilkes might see it; and then needed passing to Cyprian Ogren whose dropping of it and vaguely surprised face made Samuel Carmichael pick it up.
When he too had dropped it, Jingjie retrieved it and it was duly fastened into the book of all wickedness with a full explanation and due thanks to Lilith given in the write up. Lydia had enchanted the book of wickedness before she left to transfer anything written in any one book to the other two; so though the letter itself was not included the essence of how it was done would be.
It saved a lot of trouble checking and copying.
And then the Pepperingye marauders sat back to watch Genevieve smile at a couple of her swains to call them to heel for the Saturday night dance; and to enjoy her baffled fury as they gave her embarrassed distant smiles back and fail to come running.
Genevieve was horrified.
She worked through her whole following with the same result.
And then she turned on Meriel who had not been backward in giving her opinion on girls who played the flirt.
"You have done this!" Genevieve cried "You have told lies and calumnies to the boys that admire me! You have turned them against me!"
"Not me, look you" said Meriel. "Why should I care enough for you to do such a thing?"
"SOMEBODY has!" cried Genevieve "Edward – Orlando – Andrew – who has spread lies about me? What have they said?"
"You are mistaken, Genevieve" said Edward Kettleburn "Nobody has said anything to your detriment. But you are rather importunate in your er aggressive sexuality."
"Lumme!" whispered Charis to U-May "Worked extra well on a windbag like him!"
"We understand your desire to overcome your lack of attractiveness by – as one can only assume – giving us love potions" said Orlando Ogden "And forgive you utterly; but now we have had our eyes opened we prefer to keep a dignified distance."
Andrew Chesterfield nodded.
"Who has said I gave you love potion? It's a lie! I am beautiful and I don't NEED love potions!" cried Genevieve. The three Gryffindor boys smiled politely.
"It is an outrage! And if you have given us such potions, it is against the rules!" declared Bibaculus Wilkes
"She should be reported" said Samuel Carmichael.
"I would prefer just to forget the whole sorry incident" said Cyprian Ogren.
"I – I don't believe it! Someone has given you HATE potion!" declared Genevieve.
"I think that is scarcely born out by the facts" said Orlando Ogden "As we do not HATE you; pity you maybe, but not hate!"
Genevieve went running for Madam McGonagall to beg her house mistress to use a spell to reveal that the boys had been poisoned.
And Minerva cast Scarpin's revellaspell and broke the news to Genevieve that it was no such thing.
The Pepperingye marauders were holding their breaths; would the curses show up?
Had they known it, the magic they used was so subtle that only the best curse breakers in the world were likely to pick it out of a no more than normally searching glance at Scarpin's revellaspell; because they had stuck to a minimal effect of effectively reversing the fascination wrought on boys by Genevieve. Had they gone as far as to make the boys hate her it might have showed enough for McGonagall to pick up. As it was, she saw nothing out of the ordinary.
"I suspect, Miss Harris" said Minerva dryly "The boys ye hae been leading aroond by the….nose….. have actually got together and discussed the trricks you play off against them; and have decided that they will hae nae mair o' being used. You have abused your powers of charm, my dear girrl; and this, I'm afraid, is the result. Perhaps you should learn to be a little less cruel in the future and less exploitative. You have naebody but yourself to blame."
Genevieve took herself early to bed, weeping.
"Did we go too far to reduce her to tears?" wondered Charis.
"No" said Tobala. "Carol Best in Hufflepuff is sweet on Cyprian Ogren – no accounting for tastes and I guess they do share an interest in quidditch – and she was crying in the loo after Harris got her hooks into Ogren because she couldn't be satisfied with three Gryffs making asses of themselves over her. Harris just hasn't CARED that her, er, aggressive sexuality – I LOVE that description – has upset other girls as well as causing heartache in her little male victims. She's a preying mantis she is."
Charis, who was a soft hearted soul, was satisfied.
Genevieve was unwontedly subdued in school and applied herself to her lessons rather than to batting her eyelids; and as a result her grades rose and she was heartily congratulated by several professors on seeing the error of her ways of putting foolish airs and graces and flirting above her schoolwork.
If the reason for the rise in grades was as gall and wormwood to Genevieve it was nothing to having her brother Oliver say
"Thank goodness you've stopped tomcatting around and have settled down to stop being so embarrassing, our kid! I'd stand by you but it has been excruciatingly hard to have a scarlet woman for a sister!"
As Oliver was rather somebody in Gryffindor House for being on the House team, his criticism meant more than if he were just her brother, even though he was not a prefect!
oOoOo
David had the Pepperingye Marauders to tea with him.
"All right; how did you do it?" he asked bluntly.
"Sir?" said Isambard, all innocence.
"Can we plead the fifth amendment like Americans?" asked Tobala.
"Oh officially I don't know anything about it and I'm not about to take any official notice" said David "Though if it was any dodgy method I WILL tell you, and tell you why."
"Well Lilith reckoned it was off-white magic not dark magic" said U-May "Because we had to ask her how to do it."
"Why am I not surprised that she knew?" murmured David. "Go on."
They explained in great detail, including about the sobbing of Carol Best and how it was getting impossible to do prep without the more waxy prefects taking it and how they had limited the effect to making the boys find Genevieve sexually unappetising.
David listened; and nodded.
"You have been very careful and scrupulous; and I applaud you."
"It's having Charis on board; she's our walking conscience" said Nathan. "Though I guess we wouldn't MEAN to go too far; only the idea of having them fall in love with someone else like Flit – er Professor Flitwick or Hazel Spikenard was kind of funny to contemplate even though we'd not have done it."
"Good; keep the wishful contemplations separate from the actual jape and I'm sure you'll do very well" said David. "It was complex and well performed; and it does NOT show up readily on the Revellaspell; I was looking for a ritual and I can barely see an echo, not enough to work out what it was. And it was hidden in not being excessive. I'm afraid Genevieve has some growing up to do; she had her head turned by the admiration of a couple of boys at first, and was flattered by them fighting over her; and it has just gone to her head. One can hope that your solution has made her stop and think for the first time in a couple of years. The official line is that the boys wised up to her and must have discussed her manipulations; and THAT is what we will leave her believing. If she ever had any inkling that they had been subtly cursed she would – justly – blame YOU for her discomfort and might see if she could not fascinate another set of boys. Your er, anti-charm charm must remain a marauding secret; you can never boast of this jape nor let people know your cleverness; and you must swear Lilith and her lot to secrecy too. And maybe it will cure the daft er, little girl."
"Thank you sir; of course we'll keep it secret if you wish it" said Nathan. "We'd have told her and taken the wandfire if you had wanted us to do so, though I'm not sure we would have apologised; we aren't sorry."
The others shook their heads.
"The situation was ridiculous; something had to be done" said Charis.
"And you did it very well" said David. "And it will never be spoken of again. Tea?"
They partook of tea and cakes and were well satisfied.
