Blood Moon ~ Captain Grandpa and Major Pricky

A/N: GeezerWench made me a book cover for my fic! I feel cool as fuck. Thank you again! I also re-wrote the story summery because it really doesn't show you how ridiculous this fic is.

Peter

There was a niggling in the back of my mind. A piece of the puzzle that I was missing. Something obvious. I couldn't tell if it was about The Volturi, Maria or the Cullens.

"I still think we should do it before we get to Mexico." I repeated for the umpteenth time. I

didn't care for reasoning or logic. I didn't want one of my only living heirs meeting a bloodthirsty Vampire Warlord while she smelled so fucking delicious.

"Captain, that is one of the most awful plans you've ever come up with. Yech. Just icky." Jasper said, holding up Mr. Pricky next to my face and talking for him with a french accent.

"Jas! He doesn't talk like that, give him back!" Bella said, pulling on Jasper's hair to pull him back to the seat where she tugged Mr. Pricky out of his hands and held it closely to her chest. "Poor Mr. Pricky. Was that mean Vampire mocking you? Yes he was! Muuuahh"

"Ow, that still hurts me darlin'." He whined, laying on the accent thick. She's commented on how hot it was when she thought we couldn't hear her only about twenty times. He knew what he was doing. Fucker. I glared at him in the rear view mirror. He still hadn't told her about it all and it was startin' to piss me off. We were gonna be crossing into Mexico within the hour.

"Why do you call him Captain Grandpa under your breath?" Bella asked, and I had to try my damnedest not to laugh. Kiddo had been rolling with it for awhile now, accepting the fact that she would never see her family or friends again. About time she started calling him out on shit.

"Isabella,"

"It's Bella." She interrupted him. "Only my grandparents called me Isabella, it's annoying stop it!"

"Because I'm a Grandpa, Kiddo!" I decided to save the poor sap, he had no idea about women.

She gasped, "You're like thirty, did you have a kid when you were like 15 or something?"

"I'm wounded! I'm only twenty six!" In human years.

"Are you going to elaborate?" Kiddo sure was persistent today.

"Yeah Captain Grandpa, you gonna elaborate?" Jasper chimed in.

"You shut up!" She yelled at him, I could hear him mutter 'Oh shit, she's pissed' under his breath. She turned her attention back to me, waiting.

"Well, Bella. I'm your Dad's grand father, which makes me your great grand father."

"Crazy Pete?" Bella leaned forward and radiated excitement. Or that was Jasper. Whatever.

"No, I'm the other Peter." I wondered who the Crazy Peter could be. I was the only one in my family when I was still human. There's probably been lots of them since then, every one wanting to name their child after long lost Grandpa Peter!

"There was only one Peter, and he was Crazy Pete!" She insisted, "There's lots of stories about Crazy Pete! I get why you're so weird now, it all makes sense!" She just giggled and slapped her thigh. Well now who else have I seen laugh and slap their thigh... ME!

"I'm not Crazy Pete!" I couldn't even continue to defend myself, because now everyone was laughing. Fucking Jasper. Projecting again. "Char! I'm not!" I was really offended that my woman would believe such a thing. "I'm not Crazy Pete..." I grumbled.

"No! You are! Grandma Marie used to talk about you all of the time! You walked out on her when you went to get a pack of smokes! You didn't even smoke!" Bella clapped, as if she finally figured it all out. "You became a Vampire, that's why you never came back." She nodded and sat back in the car again, seemingly satisfied. "Grandma Marie was really old, though. She died when I was like 5. You're not 26! You're old!"

"So, there a Marie in your human life? Then a Maria?!" Char asked, and I swear if I didn't know that woman inside and out I'd be a little scared. She was just fucking with me. I hope...

"Uh, not that I know of?" I really didn't know. I was one of the blessed ones who didn't remember anything about my human life. "I don't remember anything before waking up in Jasper's arms." I muttered under my breath, 'Enjoy explaining that one, Major.' Fucker thinks he can just put me on the spot and get away with it. I hadn't seen him in almost 40 years, I had a lot of shit to give him over nothing!

"Is this like a David Bowie and Mick Jagger kind of friendship?" Bella asked waggling her eyebrows at me in the rear view. I for once had no idea what the hell she was talking about. "Ew, Crazy Pete with my, uh, friend Jasper." She trailed off, uncomfortable with what exactly to call him.

"Darlin', there are some things I should have probably told you awhile ago." Jasper started talking, "So you know how we faked your death? It's because I'm going to turn you into a Vampire."

"Yeah, I know. It's the mates thing right? Garrett told me all about it." She shrugged, "Jasper is like my dude, or whatever..."

"I don't know whether to be pleased he's missing a hand or regretful..." Jasper said a bit too loud unfortunately.

"Garrett is missing a hand?" She shrieked. Jesus, my ears were ringing. "I thought you said he was going to visit a friend! That he'd catch up with us on the other side of the border!Not that you cut his hand off!" Oh boy, Kiddo sure was pissed off. How pissed would she be if she knew that he ripped it off, not cut it off...

"That's another part of what I've got to tell you, Bella." Good going, Major! That will butter her up. I think the lad is finally learning! "I'm kind of a big deal around these parts..." He hedged.

"Yeah you used to be some budding bad ass Major in the confederate army, so?" Bella was getting impatient with him, and that wouldn't end up well for anyone. He needed to hurry the fuck up. No one could drag shit out like The Major, though never quite like this.

"It was the Calvary, actually." You could hear the pride in his voice. The fact that he was smirking and looking all pleased with himself was kind of annoying. That man suffered from Pride. "When I became a Vampire, I fought in a vastly different kind of war. A war over the same thing, but fought very differently. The woman who changed me, Maria. She was on the same side I was, for slavery. Only difference was, I was fightin' for the confederacy because it's where I was from. I wasn't gonna fight for the fuckin' north. I didn't believe in slavery anymore then than I do now. It's deplorable. But still, I fought in her war. I gained a reputation for being merciless. Darlin', I gotta tell you, I did some real fucked up shit." He was struggling, he didn't want her to hate him. Stupid fuck doesn't know shit about women.

"Basically, Kiddo." I decided to save the poor guy. He just didn't get it, she wasn't going to hate him no matter what he said. Mates were mates for a reason. Each the perfect complimentary half. It's for life, it has to fit together. Each feeding off the other. He'll understand when she's a Vampire too. "Jasper here, is actually known under a few different names. Some of them are heavily believed to be myth in the Vampire world. He was that much of a ba dass."

"I'm a mythological figure?" Jasper dumbly asked. Of course he would ignore my compliment.

"Yeah, they call you the Chupacabra." I dead panned.

"I don't get it." He was too serious for someone who could feel any emotion he wanted to.

"It's a joke, Jas. No one calls you a chalupa. Go on Crazy Grandpa Pete." She patted his arm soothingly, and he calmed down. It was good she already had that effect on him, we might need it where we were going.

"He was known as The Major, no one called him Jasper. I certainly never called him that, not then at least. It's nice being able to now. When we are around other Vampires Kiddo, try to call him Major. It will save us trouble in the long run. Then he was called The God of War for awhile, that was after I left. He'll have to grow some balls and tell you how he earned that one." I chuckled to myself, "That's something I'd love to know." Over throwing Maria? Who wouldn't want to hear all about that? "Recently, like the last twenty years or so rumors have been flying around about Ares the God of War. I can only presume they mean Jasper here. There's a few different stories going around. One is that the Volturi killed him for creating too many newborns against some newborn law they made up on the spot. I bet we all know who thought up that brilliant, realistic story? Then there's the he's in hiding getting ready to over throw the Volturi. That's a personal favorite. I'm quite partial to it. I'll fully back you up if you're going to do that any time in future." I said, along with a nice little cocktail of emotions to emphasis my seriousness.

"Is that it?" Bella asked, expecting more. I'm sure she did, I didn't really give her much in the way of details. I'd leave that up to Jasper. The Major's life was his story to tell. I shrugged,

"I guess so. I haven't heard of any others. Most people don't really know I'm of any relation. They know we were in one of the Vampire Wars because of our scars, but other than that..." She gasped,

"Scars? And wars with an S, as in more than one? How many did you fight in? Jas?" She was looking over his face for any sign of scarring, and I could see her push aside his shirt collar only to gasp a few seconds later. "What the hell made this?" She was tracing her fingers gingerly against the lines around his neck. Oh, Kiddo... Don't ask about those.

"Three wars." His voice was a whisper. I don't think he's ever had anyone touch his neck so tenderly before. Usually it was with force, you know... To rip it off. "Those are the scars I got from when I was decapitated by other Vampires. It was a favorite punishment of Maria's." Speaking of ripping it off, like a band aide. Not so wise to mention it was Maria, however... The boy would learn soon, I hoped. Like before she was a newborn and able to kick his ass to and fro.

"Maria, like the woman we are going to right now?" Bella said between clenched teeth.

"The very same."

"And you expect me to get along with her? Really? What if she tries to eat me?" Bella's voice was bordering on shrill, and I can't say it's something I was enjoying at the moment. I sent Jasper my irritation at the entire situation. This should have been dealt with hours ago, not as we cross the fuckin' border.

"I suspect she will follow orders, 'cause she don't much like getting' beheaded herself." He chuckled darkly, pulling Bella to his side. "No one will touch you, I will personally see to that. When you are made Vampire, we will train you so you wont need protection."

"Why would I need protection? The Volturi?"

"Among others." He shrugged, "Let's not dwell on that now. Maria will not harm you. She knows better."

"Crazy Grandpa Pete is a Captain because?"

"That's actually a really funny story, darlin'." Jasper drawled.

"Jasper, you wouldn't." I warned. "I'll pull this car over right now." 'And kick your fucking ass up and down this desert.' I muttered.

"We don't have time for that, but what we do have time for is the story about how Crazy Pete became Captain Crazy Pete!"

"I hate you so much right now." I griped.

"Be thankful Garrett ran on ahead, Captain." He laughed at me. Laughed! I suppose I should be grateful, even though Garrett is my dumb ass co-star in this story, at least he wasn't the one telling it. Jasper would be much more kind.

"Will you two quit your shit and get on with the story?" Char chimed in from the front seat, she reached her hand behind the seat and Bella gave her a five. She shrugged at me. "Sorry sugar, I love this story."

"This story takes place shortly before we met Garrett. By shortly I mean like ten or fifteen minutes. We were in some port town or another on the east coast, and Peter had gotten it in his mind that he was going to be a pirate, stole himself a boat and everything. Well, he stole a sail boat, and Peter knows shit about sailing. He didn't even make it out of the bay before he sank. The best part is, it was Garrett's boat. Garrett saw Peter taking it and thought he'd have a bit of fun with him, so he swam under water and ripped a hole in the hull, sinking him. It's not like Garrett couldn't just get another boat, and pulling pranks is one of Garrett's favorite pastimes. Peter thought it was the military, so he swam away. It was a few months before he came back to land."

"It was two weeks." I corrected him. Like I would stay underwater for a few months, gross. I wasn't going to eat a fish. I didn't even want to test the possibility of ever having to eat one.

"That's it? I thought it was because Peter might have been in the military or something." Bella couldn't help the disappointment in her voice.

"Well at the time, we were still with Maria. I was already Jasper's second in command so after that it became more of a ranking. Although a mocking one, sometimes. Captain was better than no rank, it made me seem tough. No one knew the truth but us four anyway. And now you." I said, glaring at Jasper in the back seat. I could tell embarrassing stories too. "We are about to cross the border into Mexico." I announced. Mexico didn't care who came in, it was easy to just drive on through. It was coming back that would give us issue. Then Bella would hopefully be a Vampire and able to run across in the middle of the night.

"Garrett went on ahead to inform Maria of the situation with the Volturi, and Isabella. I'm sure he had no problems relaying the information. She has a tendency to attack first and ask questions later. He was covered in my scent though, hopefully she would recognize that and not attack him blindly. I'd hate to have to rip her head off after not seeing her in so long." Jasper laughed. I had a feeling he wouldn't hate it much at all. Why the hell was she even still alive?

"When we get there, is that when you'll turn me into one of you?" She asked tentatively. It wasn't something we had discussed. I assumed so, it was the safest option. It was easier to travel with her as a human, but as a newborn it would be impossible. I hated to think of her growing into her Vampire self in a fucking war camp. That was my great grand baby!

"Yes. As soon as we get settled and I regain control of my men and territories."

"YOUR men and territories?" What the fuck was he talking about.

"I told you I took over for Maria when she tried to kill me for letting you and Charlotte go." Jasper admitted, like he didn't specifically leave that part out earlier.

"You didn't say you were the reigning fucking king!" I had pulled over by then. Bella's stomach was growling and I was sure she'd love to try some authentic Mexican food.

"Well, I'm not currently. I will be soon enough." He said while helping Bella out of the car. I smelled an unfamiliar Vampire.

"Major, one." I announced quietly. It was a crowded place, not the prime area for a meeting with an unknown Vampire. Charlotte flitted to my side, standing beside me. Jasper stood up taller, standing straight and looking every bit the warrior. He slid Bella behind him, and told her to stay close to him.

"If a fight breaks out, Charlotte will take you and run." He added, louder so we both could hear him.

"I'm glad we are out of the car, at least." Charlotte said. "I hate fighting in confined spaces."

"They stopped. They could be waiting for reinforcements. Stay on guard." The Major was on point. I supposed it was a good thing we had taken the time to eat after the Sushi place drama. We were strongest with fresh blood in our systems. I was getting impatient. Waiting was never my strong suit. Patience was not a fucking virtue.

"Maria is coming. I can recognize her emotional signature." He spoke too quietly for Bella to hear. That's probably a good idea. Bella didn't even know that they used to fuck, and that's usually the first thing Maria liked to bring up.

"Major! My Lord of War has returned to me, yes?" Her voice arrived seconds before she did, gracefully walking towards us as if on a fashion runway. Maria sure has changed. She wasn't covered in dirt and blood for one. Her long black hair was loose and curls flowing wildly. At least some things never change. She was wearing a pair of black pants and a white dress shirt. Were those high heels? I don't think I've ever seen her wear shoes. Let alone business apparel. She cleaned up good, for being a crazy bitch.

"He's not yours anymore." Bella spoke out, her voice strong and confident, as she peered out from behind Jasper. He had his arm around her pinning her to his backside, but it didn't keep her still enough. Maria just smiled widely at her, and it fucking unnerved me. I was tensed and ready to pounce on her at the first sign of... Well, anything.

"My, my... The Major has finally found his one and only! Shall we go back to camp and celebrate? You will be turning her soon?" It wasn't so much of a question as it was a statement. Her thick Spanish accent was minimal. Not at all as hard to understand as it used to be. Time really could change a vampire if they were given enough of it.

"Very well. We will follow you." The Major said, hoisting Bella onto his back. He nodded at me to follow. I really hoped we weren't walking into a trap. I trusted him with my life. My mate's life. He would never steer our Coven wrong, or lead his own mate willingly into danger. I sent him that trust, I wanted him to know that I believed he would always do what was best for us. My knower was going fucking nuts.

A/N: I might be convinced to write Captain Grandpa's Maritime Adventure in more detail.