A/n: thanks to all of you who review and a special thanks to Nadia who took the trouble of translating my story into Portuguese, I'd like to say to her Eu realmente aprecio isso, espero que gostem deste capĂ­tulo

Chapter 12: Finally found what I've been looking for all along

Lilly's eyes slowly opened and she surveyed her surroundings, she thought last night was a dream. But it wasn't a dream, as she looked over to the chair beside her bed and saw him sound asleep and snoring lightly. She giggled softly as a nurse came in "Oh good your awake" she said "I am Hannah, I'll be one of you nurses" she walked over to the end of the bed and picked up the chart and began writing "How long have I been asleep?" Lilly whispered

"About three days" Hannah replied softly

"How long has he been sitting there?" Lilly asked again jerking her head in Scotty's direction

Hannah smiled and chuckled "About three days, said he didn't want to leave your side"

Lilly reached over and ran a hand through his hair; he groaned softly and raised his head off the bed "Lil?" he said sleepily

"Hey" Lilly replied, looking down at her boyfriend

Hannah replaced the chart on the end of the bed and excused herself and walked out of the room.

"Hey, how you feelin'?" Scotty asked quietly, shifting his chair closer to the bed.

"Tired, I guess" Lilly replied "My arms a little sore"

Scotty sighed and stared at her hand in his "I gotta tell you something" he said sadly

"What?" Lilly asked cautiously.

"The doctors ran some test..." Scotty began "They found out something"

"Found out what?" Lilly asked, starting to feel slightly panicked.

"I am really sorry Honey; they said that you...were pregnant"

"Were?" Lilly asked, feeling tears in her eyes

"I am real sorry baby, the doctor said that because of all the stress on your body you had a miscarriage" he said in a chocked voice. Lilly started to cry silently. "This is all my fault Lil" he said feeling his own tears falling down his cheeks

Lilly's breath hitched in her throat "This isn't your fault, Scotty"

"If I'd been there with you that night, I could have protected you" he said guiltily.

Lilly raised her head and pressed a kiss to his lips "You listen to me Scotty, this is not your fault" she murmured "You're the one who saved me, if you hadn't come when you did..."

Scotty smiled down at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead "I love you Lil,so much" Scotty said "I know that I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you" Lilly pulled him down for another kiss "I love you too Scotty" she whispered against her lips.


Stillman walked down the hall to her room, laden with flowers and chocolates from the rest of the squad. He knocked on her door and walked in. She was sitting in bed reading and smiled at him as he crossed the short distance to her bed. "Hey Boss" Lilly said happily

Stillman leant down and kissed her cheek "I am so glad you are alright" He replied as he handed her the gifts. He looked around the room and couldn't help but notice something missing "Where's Scotty, I half expected him to be still guarding you like an attack dog" Stillman said as he sat down.

Lilly chuckled and smelt the flower in front of her "He was driving me nuts, had to tell him I was dying for a real coffee so he would give me a moment's peace"

Stillman grinned "he cares about you, you know"

"I know Boss, and I love him so much but he's just being so over protective" Lilly said "He almost punched out the doctor when he changed my canular and had to do it twice cause he missed the vein" Stillman chuckled heartily.

"I am glad that you too are happy, you take care of him okay?"

"Why aren't you telling him to take care of me?" Lilly questioned

Stillman smiled at her "Because I know you can take care of yourself, Scotty on the other hand" Stillman chuckled "That boy needs all the help he can get" Lilly giggled

Stillman sobered and sighed "Lil, I need you to forgive me" he said

"For what Boss?" Lilly asked curiously.

"I gave up on you, I thought you were dead" John hung his head in shame, the guilt he felt when he heard that she was still alive, that Scotty had found her on the brink of death.

"Boss, Scotty told me what happened, about my kitchen and all the blood" Lilly said "If I had been you, I would of thought I was dead too, I forgive you Boss"

Scotty walked into the room again carrying to large cups of coffee and a bag of pastries under his arm "Sorry Baby they didn't have..."he trailed off as he saw his Boss sitting by her bed "Bagels" he finished.

"I should be getting back to the office" Stillman said uncomfortably as he rose to his feet.

"That's okay Boss, you don't have to leave" Lilly said as she looked from her boyfriend to her Boss

"No, I should leave you two alone" Scotty shifted uncomfortably and he looked across at Lilly, she gave him a look that clearly indicated that he should say something before Stillman left. "Boss, I wanted to apologise. I should have told you where I was going, when I found about Luke, I shoulda called it in" Scotty said sheepishly. Stillman sighed and looked at his detective "Yes you should of Scotty, IAD wants your badge Scotty, but I have gotten them to agree to a month suspension"

Scotty's eyes widened in horror "A month! But Boss"

"Don't argue with me Scotty, you are taking a month as is Lil and she will need someone to take care of her" he suggested.

Upon hearing this news his mood lightened "Thanks Boss" he said.

"No problem Scotty, now I really should be gettin back" Stillman walked past Scotty and turned around, he watched Scotty walk over to her bed and put down her coffee beside her before kissing her briefly. The look in Lilly's eyes warmed his heart; she was looking up at Scotty with such adoration and love the like of which he had never seen from her before. He was happy that she had finally found someone who loved her like she deserved to be loved. He smiled again and walked back down the hall and towards the exit.

The doctor insisted that Lilly stay in hospital for the next few days. When she was finally discharged, Scotty took her back to his apartment and settled her on his couch. Tripod and Olivia seemed thrilled that their owner had returned and leapt up on her lap, purring happily. Lilly chuckled and hugged her two cats "I missed you" Lilly said pressing kisses to the cats head.

"They missed you" Scotty said as he sat beside her "Figured that I'd look after them while you were gone" Tripod rubbed her head against Scotty's leg and purred happily.

"Thanks Scotty" Lilly said and she leaned over and kissed him. Scotty ran his hand over her cheek and back through her hair, tugging her closer to him. She felt his tongue slid into her mouth and she pulled back "I am sorry Scotty" she whispered, staring down at her feet

"No it's okay Lil, I shouldn't be pushin you into anythin yet" Scotty replied and she sighed and slowly raised her head to meet his gaze "It's not that Scotty, I love you" She frowned and ran her hand over his cheek "But it's just...I lost a baby Scotty...your baby, and I just don't think that we should just jump back into this"

"Hey, listen to me Lil" Scotty whispered back "I love you more than I have ever loved anyone" Scotty turned his face slightly and kissed the palm of her hand that was still on his face "And we have the rest of our lives to have children together, so if you don't want to do anythin right now that's fine" Lilly felt the smile creep onto her face again, had he just said that he wanted to spend his life with her. "I think I am going to go to bed, can you just hold me for a while?" she asked. Scotty grinned and nodded, following her down the hall to his bedroom.


It had now been six months since Lilly had home from the hospital and she was back at work. Desk duty but still she was glad to be able to contribute having been away so long. Her and Scotty's relationship had grown in leaps and bounds, they had moved in together and Stillman had still allowed them to work together as long as they kept personal problems at home and Lilly was grateful. Stillman had also insisted that she go to counselling and as much as she protested it was Scotty who convinced her to finally go. She couldn't be more grateful to him and she also felt guilty, they also hadn't had sex since before she had been kidnapped, he was just so patient with her. It wasn't that she didn't want to sleep with him, she wanted to more than anything but she was afraid that if she got pregnant again, something would happen to this baby too.

At five o'clock one afternoon, Lilly stood up from her desk and grabbed her coat. "I've got an appointment with the shrink" she said comming over to Scotty's side of the desk "I'll see you at home later?" she asked softly.

"Sure Lil" he said and she felt the twinge of guilt again as she saw him quickly hid a small frown on his face. This was ridiculous; she knew that she couldn't keep on like this. Scotty had respected her boundaries and hadn't even suggested having sex with her since the night she'd come back from the hospital, but she didn't know how much longer his patience would last. The last few nights he'd either come home well after she'd gone to bed or had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV. She had to do something to show him that she was still in this relationship and that she still wanted to be with him. "Okay" she whispered as he returned his attention to file in front of him. The others exchanged a look at the obvious tension between them. Lilly took a deep breath and lent over kissing the top of Scotty's head "I love you" she whispered against his hair. If Scotty had heard her he didn't say anything and Lilly knew that she had to do something tonight or she could lose him.

Scotty came home a little after seven that night, he had had a few drinks with Vera and Jefferies and come home only after he knew Lilly would be in bed. He knew it was stupid, that he was acting like a child but he couldn't shake the feeling that Lilly was about to end their relationship. He sighed heavily and tossed his coat onto the couch, waking up Olivia and Tripod. The cats glowered at him for disturbing their sleep. He was about to grab something to eat when he heard something coming from the bedroom, it was music. Frowning slightly, Scotty walked down the hallway and pushed open the door. His jaw hit the floor and his eyes widened, the room was dimly lit by the light of candles. Rose petals were scattered about the room and the stereo was playing softly in the background. He took a step into the room, still not daring to believe it "Like it?" a soft voice asked from behind him and Scotty whipped around to find Lilly, leaning against the doorframe of their adjoining bathroom.

Scotty's eyes travelled over her slim figure and he swallowed hard. She was dressed in a dark red negligee that stopped just below her knees and was low cut enough for her breasts to be just visible. "Wow" Scotty breathed, his eyes still fixed on her. Lilly giggled at his startled expression and sauntered towards him. "I went shopping after work" Lilly said "Rescheduled my appointment, figured I had much more important things to do this evening." Lilly's hands slid up his chest and slowly started to unbutton his shirt. "Lil, are you sure you want to do this?" he asked "I don't want to push you" he said although he would love to be able to feel his hands on her again.

"It's been to long Scotty, you have been so patient with me and it's made me love you even more that I thought possible" Lilly said, her movements stilled as she spoke "But I am ready and I want us to make love again" She said. Scotty lowered his head slowly and captured her lips with his. Kissing her slowly and sensually as they walked backwards to the bed. Lilly broke the kiss and for a heart stopping minute, Scotty thought she was going to push him away again. "I love you" she simply said. Scotty grinned at her

"I love you too Lil" he said and he kissed her again. They made love all night long.

A/n: alright just a short chapter up next for the last one. As always please leave a review.