As promised, fast update. Writing this is like eating a permanent chocolate bar, so you may find some signals of sugar overload at some parts, but oh well… What can you do when you love Transformers so much?
Thanks a lot to iratepirate for doing the dirty job of correcting my grammar.
Chapter 12
What nightmares are made of
"Move your index finger… good… now the thumb… stretch it… more…"
"Now close your fist and extend your middle finger."
Ratchet stared severely toward his left.
"Don't you have something else to do, Huffer? Or must I declare the Repair Bay off limits for you?"
"I'm just making sure this Decepticon doesn't try anything against you, Ratchet."
"How considerate of you, but I think I'll be fine on my own."
"Suit yourself," Huffer said as he jumped off the table on which he had been sitting and headed toward the exit, not before addressing Thundercracker with the hand gesture he had described. It was curious how some Transformers had adopted certain human mannerisms, and not precisely the best ones.
From his place, sitting on one of the berths of the Repair Bay, Thundercracker ignored the insult. He had seen Rumble doing that same rude gesture to Skywarp during a skirmish, but in that moment it was the last thing on his processor. Being repaired by Ratchet as if he were another Autobot was proving to be a very disturbing experience.
Since he had become a Decepticon, Thundercracker had been injured several times, some of them very seriously, but he had always felt more like an object than like a patient. Hook was an excellent surgeon engineer and not particularly sadistic as his fame announced, but his perfectionism had more to do with his own ego than with the welfare of his patients, who he actually hated to repair. Unlike Hook, Ratchet seemed to enjoy what he did, like if he found satisfaction in his medical practice and not just a way to show his superiority.
With the layers of the back of his hand removed and his inner circuitry exposed, Thundercracker couldn't understand why such an insignificant part of his structure could be so important. He was sure Hook wouldn't have even bothered in revising that kind of injury, and he would have agreed with the Constructicon. Such a little malfunction could be repaired perfectly well by his auto repair circuits in one or two cycles, but for some reason Ratchet seemed to care, focused not only on the excellence of his work, but on preventing any trace of pain or physical discomfort for his patient also.
"I'm worried about your thumb… move it again… mmmhh… just what I thought… I'm afraid I'll have to replace the entire driving circuitry of your hand."
"That's not necessary. I'm sure my auto repair circuits…"
"Are you the medic here, Decepticon?"
"No, but…"
"Then you'd do well in shutting your vocalizer."
Fury, again. Thundercracker would have liked to shout at the Autobot, telling him that maybe he wasn't a slagging medic, but that he had the slagging right to express his slagging opinion about his slagging hand…
But anger disappeared faster this time, and soon Thundercracker fell into a state of bizarre peace as Ratchet replaced the damaged circuits of his hand. It was a new experience to have a surgeon repairing him with authentic concern. Then he remembered that Ratchet wasn't a military medic, but one of so many Autobots that had been forced to replace their scalpels with weapons. Respect toward the ill-humored Autobot rose as an automatic reaction.
Suddenly, Ratchet was motionless, looking with surprise at Thundercracker's arm.
"You weren't created as a Seeker, were you?"
A wave of discomfort easily replaced the former peace. Within Thundercracker's hate list, being questioned about his origins was very close to the top.
Lying was always an option, but not even the awkwardness of the moment justified falling into a practice he had always disapproved of, even though it was an important part of the Decepticon protocol. Besides, Ratchet was a medic. Hiding the truth would have done nothing to help his already nonexistent credibility.
"No, I wasn't," Thundercracker replied dryly.
"That's what I thought. I have never repaired a Seeker before, but your inner circuitry is different to the blueprints I have of your kind in my data banks. You look more like a…"
"Ground pounder?" Thundercracker roughly interrupted, blatantly using the offensive nickname that Seekers used when referring to Transformers that were unable to fly.
Curiously, his comment didn't seem to upset Ratchet. "I was going to say non-flying Transformer."
"Same thing, different name."
"I see that being reformatted into a Seeker also gave you the vanity of the fliers. Or did you have that before?"
Thundercracker didn't reply. The last thing he needed was an Autobot questioning his personality component. Air… flying was what he really needed at that moment. All that separated him from the precious freedom was the minuscule device attached to his neck that kept him in a status of undefined castration. Perhaps it was time to send everything to the pit.
"Anyway, you should eliminate insults like that one from your memory banks. Nobody here will consider them funny."
Thundercracker grimaced. "I see. I can't call you ground pounders but you can call me Decepticon scum."
"Precisely. Because that's what you still are, aren't you? A piece of Decepticon scum?"
Thundercracker would have liked to answer with a firm negative, but in that moment his identity couldn't have been more diluted.
Of course, Ratchet took his silence as an answer. "See? I told you. 'Once a Decepticon, always a Decepticon'."
"If that's what you think, then why are you repairing me?" Thundercracker counterattacked. "And why did you help me before? Your teammates were about to tear me apart."
Ratchet's face became bitter again. "Excuse me? Help you? I'm going to say this only once and make sure your big bad processor understands it: I would never help a Decepticreep. If I took you out of there it was only because if Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had inserted your wings up your tailpipe, I was going to be the one to put your pieces back together. And believe me when I say that I was busy enough before you came up with the brilliant idea of coming here playing the deserter…"
"I am not playing!"
"Whatever. The only thing you are doing is agitating the mood here, so don't complain if one of these cycles you wake up welded to a wall."
The hand that Ratchet was repairing turned into a fist. "Of course. What could I expect from the honorable Autobot justice…?"
"Oh, spare me your irony and your cheap Decepticon propaganda! Were you expecting us to receive you palming your shoulder, then? There is no Autobot in this base who you haven't damaged in the past, so don't blame my friends if they treat you like slag."
Suddenly, the old argument about being a soldier wasn't convincing enough. Thundercracker had created that false zone of comfort many millenniums ago to justify all the dishonourable actions in which he had taken part. Losing the veil before his optics was proving to be a revealing experience, but also very painful.
The slaughter of civilians was the one thing that had prevented him from having one single complete recharge cycle since the beginning of the war. Of course he was aware that he may owe one or many innocent lives to his new hosts. Continuing to deny it was impossible.
"I can't change the past," he simply said.
Ratchet shook his head slightly. "There never were words easier than those."
Thundercracker knew the Autobot was right, but for the moment he couldn't say anything else. It wasn't with words how he would find redemption.
"What about you?" he asked before he realized what he was saying.
"What?"
"What about you?" Thundercracker repeated, unable to locate the origin of that thing inside of him that had nothing to do with cold logic. "Have you lost someone you cared about during the war?"
Ratchet didn't reply. Thundercracker should have known. Now that masks were beginning to fall, he realized that one of the first enemies he had to defeat was his own arrogance.
"Was it a femme?" Thundercracker was pushing too hard and he knew it, but there was no turning back.
"My bondmate," Ratchet said with the shadow of a voice.
Thundercracker feared his next question, but he couldn't stop anymore. "Was I involved?"
Ratchet stared firmly at the Decepticon. "If you were, you wouldn't be functioning today."
Thundercracker nodded slowly. It was his turn for silence. He understood vengeance; it had been embedded into his processor like a value, and he wasn't as naïve to believe the Autobots were free of such feelings.
Uncomfortable astro seconds of silence passed until the main layer of the back of the Decepticon's hand closed with a dry sound.
"I have finished," Ratchet said. "Move your fingers, one by one, slowly… Good, now let's try the joints."
Thundercracker's fingers felt numb because of the pain killers that were still flowing through his fuel line, but he grabbed the small metallic roller that Ratchet handed him and squeezed it as strongly as he could.
"You are stronger than an average Seeker," Ratchet said as he looked at the readings that the potency meter was giving. "At least according to what my data banks say. I wasn't wrong about your origins after all."
The new mention of his origins wasn't as annoying as the one before. "Can I go now?"
"Yes, just make sure to stay away from trouble."
Thundercracker stood up and started to walk toward the door. When Ratchet spoke again, his voice had a tone so firm and honest that the Seeker couldn't avoid feeling all his servos freezing.
"I understand that your creator was killed by Autobots. Then you know that some animosities are unable to be forgiven."
Thundercracker continued giving his back to Ratchet, but slowly shook his head.
"Autobot hands didn't kill my father. I killed him myself."
Then Thundercracker left. He couldn't have spoken more; he didn't expect any answer either. The door closed behind him, darkening Ratchet's face.
-----------------
It was strange, but Skywarp couldn't locate the origin of the pain.
His processor wasn't being very helpful either; as a matter of fact, it couldn't have been more confusing. According to his inner scans, he didn't have any injury, nothing was malfunctioning… But the pain was there, intense, continuous, devastating… Something was breaking inside of him, crumbling in pieces.
Everything around him was darkness. But he wasn't alone. Before him, beside the narrow crack in the wall, was Thundercracker. His outline was being bathed by lights that were coming from outside.
"TC…" Skywarp said weakly.
"Ssshh."
Somehow, Skywarp managed to get on one knee. "I think I'm wounded, slaggit…"
"Silence. The enemy is close."
Skywarp remained quiet. One of his legs was trembling.
"I don't hear anything," he whispered after a while.
"You never notice anything, Warp, until things are right above your head."
Skywarp tried to get on his feet but he failed. It wasn't only the pain, but the weakness. He didn't even remember how he had ended up inside that crumbled building, defending a position that seemed indefensible. Thundercracker was right when he called him absentminded. Anything could have attacked him… he just hadn't seen it coming.
Thundercracker continued staring outside. Only he knew what was stalking within the shadows. The curious thing was that both of his shoulder-mounted automatic incendiary guns were hanging flaccidly beside his arms.
"TC…"
Thundercracker turned around and acknowledged his wingmate, his entire frame being illuminated by the lights coming from outside, that seemed to have increased their intensity. It was then when Skywarp noticed it. There was something different in Thundercracker. He looked the same, but certainly there was something different… an abysm that Skywarp wouldn't be able to continue denying anymore.
"You shouldn't be so surprised, Warp," Thundercracker said. It was easy to recognize the sadness in his voice.
"W…what?"
"It will hurt you for a while, but you will get used to it. Somehow you always knew it too. It was my destiny."
The thing outside the building shone in all its splendor. Thundercracker's melancholic face was illuminated, but it wasn't his face that Skywarp saw. He saw his wings… exhibiting brutally two red insignias…
"TC… but what the slag…?" Skywarp stammered, his optics fixated on the two Autobot symbols on his best friend's frame.
Both of Skywarp's incendiary guns rose automatically, aiming toward the one mech he had ever considered a friend.
Thundercracker didn't react. His sad stare descended to the floor.
"I would have never betrayed you, Warp."
-----------------------
Skywarp's systems activated with so much violence that for a moment he thought he had actually shot. There was no abyss beneath him, but he continued feeling as lost as he had felt in that dream that was still invading his processor with its accursed images.
He lifted his head from the computer's console on which he had been leaning, the rest of his body spread over a chair in a very uncomfortable position. He didn't remember when he had collapsed there. The only thing inside his processor was the slow pace of the breems, the empty quarters, the door that didn't open…
He remembered Thundercracker being attacked by the other Decepticons, but mostly he remembered himself not doing anything to help him.
I would have never betrayed you, Warp.
A furious punch shook the console, barely reflecting the frustration that was invading Skywarp's spark. But he didn't have time to find relief through violence, the only way he knew. The door hissed open, but his hopes of seeing his best friend coming in vanished when the hated figure of Starscream appeared under the threshold.
"I should have imagined you'd be here," Starscream said disdainfully. "What else could be expected from you, sentimental fool?"
Skywarp got up and glanced at Starscream with all the hatred he had been collecting since the cycle before. "The question is what the slag you are doing here, Screamer. These are Thundercracker's personal quarters."
"So you spent the entire night cycle here, waiting for your friend? Touching," Starscream snorted as he walked toward the computer. "Let me guess: Thundercracker didn't reply your attempts of communication and you don't have the slightest idea of where he is."
Skywarp growled but he didn't reply, feeling worse every astro second.
Starscream shook his head with deception. "Just what I thought. I don't know why I don't understand once and for all that there is nothing inside that empty head of yours that actually works."
Skywarp wasn't someone who ignored insults, but in that moment he had other priorities. "You didn't answer my question, Screamer! What in the pit are you doing here?"
Starscream opened a small hatch on his left wrist and connected a cable into the interface of Thundercracker's computer. "Looking for evidence. Isn't it obvious?"
It was clear that Starscream was expecting Skywarp's attack, but he didn't move as fast as he usually would have done in a case like that. Skywarp roughly seized him by the waist and threw him aside, shooting the computer before his Air Commander could get up.
"Idiot!" Starscream yelled at him from the floor, covering himself from the debris of the shattered computer. "What do you expect to get playing the loyal fool? Your dearest friend is already stuck in slag up to his neck!"
"We'll see about that, you traitor!" Skywarp replied, pouncing at the fallen.
Starscream received him with a strong kick to the middle section, hurling him backward. "Traitor? You call me traitor? You couldn't be more blind! Understand once and for all that Thundercracker is not going to enter that door ever again! Are you so stupid to not realize what is happening here?"
Skywarp knelt, unable to fight the lack of equilibrium in his body and undecided about shooting Starscream or letting him speak. "What's happening is that you're a poisonous piece of filth and I allowed you to wrap me in your lies! Slaggit, I let you and the others beat the slag out of TC!! But it won't happen again, do you hear me?!"
Starscream got up and grabbed his torso, that seemed to hurt him.
"Look for him in the Ark," he simply said.
Skywarp got up too, unable to repress the tremor of his body. Suddenly he saw Thundercracker beside that crack on the wall, starting to turn toward him.
"W… what…?" he stammered.
"Look for him in the Ark! And not precisely as a prisoner."
That was all. Skywarp pounced at Starscream with killer fury. It was like being welcomed by the two Autobot insignias of his dream like two violent slaps.
"What's wrong, Skywarp?" Starscream mocked, struggling against his wingmate. "Truth can be quite painful, am I righ…? Aaaarrrrgh!"
Starscream fell to his knees, grabbing his torso again with a shivering hand. It was then when Skywarp saw the deep laceration on his face and his cracked cockpit.
"Did Megatron do this to you?"
Starscream growled. "Who else, you screwhead…"
"Let me guess. He made you pay for that retarded circus you put together to lynch TC…"
"If you are not going to say anything remotely intelligent you better shut it, Skywarp! There hasn't been one single solar cycle that I haven't cursed my luck… I had enough trouble having an idiot in my trine, and now I have a betrayer…"
"Enough! I won't tear you apart in such a state, Screamer, but you better speak clear. You bark too much about me talking without using my processor first, but you are much worse."
Starscream leaned on the smoking computer and managed to get up, pain expressing itself through the features of his face. "I don't have definitive proof, yet, but if you don't want to be on the losing side of all this, I recommend you to stay away, Skywarp."
"What the frag are you talking about?"
"It doesn't matter what Megatron says, I am the one who has the right to discipline a dysfunctional element."
"Thundercracker is not a traitor, Starscream!" Skywarp's voice resounded with fury, but only he knew that the feeling was directed toward himself.
"He'll come back, and I'll help him to get even with you and the others," he finished as he walked toward the exit. He had had enough.
Starscream's voice could be heard again just as the door was hissing open, surreal, like inside Skywarp's dream. For a moment he thought Starscream was leaning out from the crack on the wall, right beside Thundercracker and his two accursed insignias.
"Thundercracker is not coming back, Skywarp, not as you expect. When the moment comes, I will give the order to hunt him. And killing him… that is an honour I have reserved for you."
To be continued.
Thanks a bunch for your reviews. They are always an inspiration.
