The meeting broke up shortly after Bellamy and Roan firmed up their plans. It was agreed that they wouldn't leave for a few days to give Roan time to settle things in the Azgedan capital. And it would be just the two of them, traveling in the Rover, light and quick.

Afterwards, Bellamy looked for Clarke in the med bay, but she wasn't there. Nor was she in her quarters. He blew out a breath in frustration, then decided it was probably just as well. Because he had no idea what he'd say to her. Or what she might even want to hear.

He was suddenly overcome with exhaustion, and while he ordinarily tried not to give in to the urge to sleep during the day, on this day it was either take a nap or keel over. So Bellamy made his way back to his room and stretched out tiredly on the bed. Whether it was the cumulative lack of sleep, or the prospect of a new mission quieting his mind, Bellamy's head had no sooner hit the pillow than he was sound asleep.

He awoke, groggy and disoriented, to a sharp rapping at his door. Since his interior room had no access to daylight, he had no idea how long he'd been asleep.

The knocking came again.

"Bellamy, I know you must be in there because I've looked everywhere else."

Clarke's voice, determined.

He sprang from the bed, suddenly alert, snapped on a lamp and crossed the short distance to open the door.

"Clarke! What are you doing here?" She hadn't been anywhere near his room since they'd gotten back to Arkadia.

"You're not going to invite me in?" She seemed...tentative.

He threw the door open wide and ushered her in, bewildered and still a little sluggish.

They sat on his bed, on top of the bedclothes that were still rumpled from his recent nap. He remembered the last time they'd sat in his room like this. She'd been trying to talk him out of leaving to look for Octavia. When that hadn't worked, she'd invited herself along.

Shit! She didn't think she could tag along on this trip, did she? He opened his mouth to dash any ideas along those lines, but she got there first.

"Why weren't you at dinner?" she asked abruptly.

"Dinner? What time is it?"

"Nearly nine."

Nine o'clock? He'd been asleep for almost six hours. He guessed he must have been tireder than he thought.

Bellamy shrugged. "I guess I slept through it. I can deal with missing a meal now and then."

"You were asleep? So you weren't...avoiding me?"

"Avoiding you? I went looking for you after the meeting, but you'd disappeared."

"Yeah," Clarke looked away. "I went for a walk."

"A walk?" There was nowhere to walk to, unless...

"Dammit, Clarke! Were you walking in the woods by yourself?"

She nodded. "I needed to...clear my head."

And all at once he was furious. "Are you fucking nuts? You can't just go off by yourself on a jaunt through the damn woods. I'll bet you didn't even tell anyone where you'd gone."

Bellamy paused for breath as he wound up to lace into her again, but he never got the chance.

"Shut up!" she said suddenly, her face only inches from his. "Don't you dare lecture me about personal safety." Clarke's chest was heaving with anger.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Aren't we all meant to look out for each other?" He knew he sounded obnoxiously self-righteous, but shit! She couldn't take such crazy risks.

And then she was barking with laughter. Although she looked anything but amused.

"You," she said, punctuating her words with a hard poke to his chest, "are telling me to stay safe, and yet..." Her breath hitched, caught. "And yet, you've just volunteered for another suicidal mission."

She folded her arms across her chest, daring him to refute this.

Bellamy knew it was dangerous, but what on this damn planet wasn't. "Someone has to find this stuff out, Clarke, or we're not going to survive. You already know this."

"Yeah," she said, not giving an inch, "but why does that person always have to be you?"

"Because I'm the best one for the job," he insisted. "Or at least...Roan and I make the best team. Are you trying to tell me you don't think I can do this? Because you used to have more faith in me than that."

Clarke closed her eyes and all the fight suddenly seemed to go out of her. She slumped down on his bed.

"No, of course not. You know I trust you more than anyone."

Her voice was muffled as she curled herself into a ball.

"I'm just tired...it's hard being so scared for you all the time, Bellamy. I can't...I don't know how to handle it."

Bellamy's smile was wry, as he considered the irony. He reached out and brushed a stray lock from Clarke's forehead, the same one that was forever falling into her eyes.

"Do you have any idea how much time I've spent worrying about you with all the heroic shit you've pulled since we got down here?" he asked, his voice soft. "Christ, you disappeared for three goddamn months, Clarke, and the only way I got through that was by pretending..."

Bellamy paused, suddenly aware of exactly where that sentence had been headed.

"Pretending what?" she asked.

"Pretending you must be okay," he lied. "And you weren't even on a mission. You didn't have to leave..." He stopped. This was getting them nowhere.

"You know I'm not still angry about that, right? I just wanted to remind you that I worry, too. We worry about each other. Every single thing we've had to do here on the ground has been dangerous, but that's never kept us from doing what needed to be done."

Bellamy slid closer, moving his hand to gently stroke her cheek. It was the first time she'd been so near, the first time he'd been able to reach out and touch her, in weeks.

"I made it through Mt. Weather, and that was a lot more dangerous." His voice was soft as his hand hovered over her cheek mid-stroke. "And you didn't seem to have any problem with me going on that mission."

"That's because I was pretending, too," she said, grabbing his hand to lever herself back into a sitting position, curling against his side.

Bellamy waited for her to explain further, but she just shook her head, resigned.

"I know you'll do a great job. You always do. I was just...counting on us not having to be separated again."

She didn't want to be separated from him?

"And that would bother you? Because lately, it hasn't seemed like you really give a damn whether I'm around or not. Ever since we got back it's felt like you're the one doing the avoiding."

"I've been busy in med bay," she was quick to insist. But he just wasn't buying it.

"Bullshit. You told me you needed me, that we needed each other. You can't need me much if you never bother to see me. If we never even have a conversation."

He locked eyes with her, daring her to deny it.

"It's...I..." She looked away, uncharacteristically inarticulate.

"I haven't had much luck with...with personal relationships since we got to the ground, Bellamy. People keep...dying on me."

Bellamy had a sudden unwelcome thought.

"Is it...is this about Lexa? You never talked about why you aren't carrying the AI any longer, but if you don't want to spend time with me because you can't get past that sadness..."

She shook her head. "It's...not about Lexa. I know she'll always be in my heart, just like Finn. But now...I gave Raven The Flame. She's using it to help figure out how to save us."

He nodded. "Okay, but maybe you need to take it back..."

"Bellamy, no. It's not that." She sighed. "At first, having The Flame was a comfort, like a part of Lexa was still with me in some way. And it gave me a purpose. Finding a nightblood. It was something I could do to try to make up for her taking a bullet that had been meant for me."

She looked at him sadly.

"But after being in the The City of Light...I could tell that none of it was real. Even though I saw Lexa there...even spoke to her...I know she wasn't real, either. She's not in that piece of wire and metal, Bellamy. It's just a...a computer that's stored parts of her personality in a program. Ones and zeroes, just like every other program."

She pressed her lips together, resolute, accepting. "I know she's gone, and nothing is going to bring her back. So, no...this isn't about Lexa."

"Then what?"

Clarke looked down at Bellamy's hands, picked them up, and began idly playing with his fingers. He could see her working up to...something.

She cleared her throat, her eyes still cast downward, studying their hands.

"I've been kind of stupid, Bellamy."

Bellamy smiled, amused. "How so?" Clarke was one of the smartest people he knew.

"i thought that if I...stayed away from you, you'd be safe."

"Safe?"

"Like I said, people who are...with me...seem to end up dead."

And just like that, Bellamy felt his insides twist.

With her?

They'd never been together like that. Neither of them had ever even alluded to it. And he'd put a huge effort into trying not to even think about it.

He was on tenterhooks as he waited for her next words. Afraid that he'd misunderstood. Afraid that she'd meant something else entirely.

"It was when we went to visit Luna the second time."

"What was?" He breathed out the words.

"When Luna wanted to see you alone, I knew why. And I thought...Bellamy can't be with her. He's mine. But then I realized how stupid that was, because that wasn't how it was with us. I told myself you'd probably never even thought of me like that. So of course you should be with Luna. If that's what you wanted."

She looked up then, and her eyes settled on his face.

"But then you came back. You didn't stay with her."

"No," he said.

"Why not?" The question was hesitant, as though maybe she wasn't sure she wanted to hear his answer.

"Because it wasn't what I wanted," he said simply, returning her stare.

He could see the flutter of a pulse in her throat, and it seemed to him that it was beating very rapidly. And he would almost swear that he could hear her breathing.

Or maybe it was him. All of it. The rapid pulse, the shallow breaths.

Bellamy was suddenly afraid he might stop breathing altogether.

"Then what do you want?" she asked softly, the words coming out in quiet little staccato beats.

It was now or never, he thought. Now or never. "If you haven't figured that out yet, then I don't know why we're even having this conversation."

Her breath caught and she gave him the tiniest of smiles. Soft. Tentative. But the kind of smile that reached her eyes.

"Then...I want what you want," she said plainly. "I think I have for a long time, but there was always something more important to do than worry about how I...felt about you. But that day, while we watched the sunset, I was just so damn happy that you came back."

Her shoulder twitched in the barest of shrugs. "And I knew."

Bellamy could hardly believe what he was hearing.

"Then why have you been avoiding me for weeks?" It made no sense.

She sighed. "It's crazy. I know that. But...I got so scared. When you had to fight those Azgedans I was so afraid I might really lose you, and that I'd have to watch it happen. I could hardly stand it."

Her eyes were glassy as she relived those moments in her head.

"So I thought if I could keep you at a distance, care about you but not be with you, you wouldn't be tainted by my...curse."

That brought a soft laugh from Bellamy. "I really don't think you're cursed, Clarke."

"No, I suppose not," she said with a watery little smile. "But I couldn't think of another way to keep you safe. Or me from being heartbroken again."

"So how's this plan of yours working out for you?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She shook her head. "Not so well. I still worry like hell. And I miss you so much."

Bellamy reached up to cup her face in both his hands.

"I've been going crazy with missing you, too," he said. "So if you've got some stupid idea that I'm going to be the one to say we can't be together, I can tell you right now that's not going to happen. Because I want you too damn much."

"Oh," she said, smiling softly, and suddenly the tears spilled over.

"Hey, what's this?" he asked, wiping them away.

"Happy tears," she said, "but I don't want to cry anymore."

Her lips were wet with tears when she pressed them against his. He wasn't expecting it, but it didn't take him long to catch up. His arms flew around her, pulling her close, and pretty soon the rest of the world went away, and all he knew was the feel of her lips against his, and the press of her soft body against his hard one.

They shifted down onto the bed as they continued to kiss, pouring out all the weeks and months of suppressed longing, nearly unable to process the sudden happiness. And having only that one way to express it. When Clarke reached under his shirt and stroked her hands across his skin, it felt to Bellamy like a thousand volts of electricity were shooting through him.

By the time they broke the kiss, he felt almost dizzy with joy. He pulled her up against him, and they lay curled together, softly stroking each others' skin. And suddenly, the sense of urgency was gone. It was the damnedest thing, Bellamy thought. The planet was going to kill them in a few months, but it still felt like they had all the time in the world.

He never wanted to stop kissing Clarke, but at the same time he was just as happy lying there with her cradled against his chest. Knowing that he could - whenever he wanted to - kiss her again.

"Maybe you can break the curse, Bellamy," she muttered. "The one that says Clarke Griffin's lovers all have to die."

She'd said it quietly, with wry amusement, yet it seemed to Bellamy that beneath the surface he could still hear the fear and uncertainty. He had a sudden idea.

"What if we don't tempt fate?" he said, thinking he must really be a masochist. "What if we don't become lovers right now?"

Clarke lifted her head to study him, her face a mixture of hurt and bewilderment.

"You don't...want me?" she asked uncertainly.

Bellamy groaned, pulling her head down and burying his face in her hair.

"You can't imagine how much I want you, Clarke. Have wanted you for months now. It's taking every ounce of willpower I have not to help you out of those clothes and sink into you."

"You can't say things like that to me, Bellamy," she moaned quietly. "Not if you want me to consider this...plan of yours."

"I meant it just for now. Until the mission is over. So maybe you'll worry a little less while I'm gone." He grinned cheekily. "After that, after I get back, I intend to debauch you morning, noon, and night."

Clarke laughed, caressing his cheek. Sighed softly.

"You would do that for me?" she asked, shaking her head in amazement. "You would wait?"

"I think by now you know I'd do pretty much anything for you," he said quietly.

They stared at each other in silence.

"What if we can't do it?" she said finally.

"Then we start the debauchery early."

Bellamy leaned down, brushing his lips softly against hers. "And I never said we wouldn't be kissing," he added, "or touching."

"Glad we cleared that up," she said, pulling him down and opening her mouth to deepen the kiss.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was nearly a week before preparations for their mission had been completed and they were ready to leave. Apparently, political considerations in the Azgeda capital had proven more complex than Roan had anticipated.

Bellamy and Clarke had spent their limited free time wrapped up in each other, trying to make up for earlier wasted opportunities. Knowing only too well that they'd soon be separated. They had expected to be harassed about their sudden obvious togetherness, but only Raven had something to say. And that was just two words.

"Thank god," she said firmly, when she saw them holding hands in the mess hall that first morning.

Among their other friends, there may have been a raised eyebrow or two, or perhaps a small smirk. Emori grinned when she caught them kissing near the med bay door. But then Bellamy had always suspected that in spite of her cynical persona, Emori was a bit of a romantic.

It was only by reminding himself every single day that he couldn't let her down that Bellamy had been able to resist becoming completely intimate with Clarke.

Now that they'd admitted that what they felt for one another was so much more than just friendship, the connection he felt to her was stronger and deeper than anything he'd ever thought possible with another human being. He desperately wanted to express those feelings, and he was holding himself in check only by the skin of his teeth.

Clarke, always so full of unreserved passion, was no help. By the second day, she was panting out her frustration with every brush of Bellamy's hands and lips against her skin. And by the third, she was using her considerable powers of persuasion to try to change his mind.

"This is stupid, Bellamy," she coaxed, running her hands through his hair as she rained kisses across his body. "Of course I'm not cursed. And even if I was, with all this kissing and touching, do you really think the gods of karma are going to distinguish between what we're doing and actual fucking?"

Bellamy groaned, as he had every time she'd said something similar. He'd never wanted anyone the way he wanted Clarke, and he wondered why the hell he'd ever dreamed up this particular brand of self-torture. But then he remembered how her face had relaxed just the slightest bit when he'd suggested his plan to try to hoodwink the fates. For Bellamy, a little sexual longing was a small price to pay if he could buy Clarke even the tiniest shred of peace of mind while he was away.

So he swallowed his frustration and turned it into a jest.

"Think of it as extended foreplay," he said with a smile. "Character-building extended foreplay."

Clarke barked out a short laugh. "My character must be enormous by now."

But then, on the last night before Bellamy was scheduled to leave, all the annoyance and all the frustration seemed to just melt away. The only thing that mattered was that they were together. They held onto each other for hours, their soft stroking and tender kisses storing up a reserve of tactile memories for the lonely days ahead.

The next morning they were saying their goodbyes in the yard while Roan waited near the gate, his customary impatience no doubt mitigated by the fact that he was chatting with Raven. Bellamy wrapped Clarke in his arms, thinking how perverse it was that he could be so miserable to be leaving her, and at the same time so excited at the prospect of completing the mission.

It was also odd to think it was Roan who would be his partner, a man who'd almost killed him the first time they met. But then there were few things on this planet that he hadn't found, at one time or another, bewilderingly odd.

Bellamy was hugging Clarke tightly, loath to let go, when he heard the tower guard calling his name.

"Hey, Bellamy, look out by the tree line!"

He reluctantly tore himself away from Clarke and turned his head toward the path that led to the forest. And was stunned at what he saw. Just at the point where the path disappeared into the trees, sitting tall astride her horse, was Octavia. She had come that far but was clearly coming no further.

He looked at Clarke in wonder, and saw a small smile on her face. But no surprise.

"You did this," he said, suddenly certain.

"Me? You think I could ever get Octavia to do anything she didn't want to do?"

"I meant...this was your idea."

Clarke shrugged. "I may have suggested to Kane to send Monty to the cave to let Octavia know you were leaving on the mission this morning. And that she could come by without fear that he'd try to take her in."

She gave a little frown. "I didn't tell you because, uh..."

"Because you were afraid she might not show up. I understand."

Bellamy looked down at Clarke, thinking of everything she'd done for him since they'd come to the ground. All the ways she'd helped him to grow as a person, as a man. How well she understood him, that she had known how grateful he would be to have the chance to see Octavia before he left.

"I love you," he said quietly. He'd never said it before, not in that way. Not to Clarke or anyone else.

She gave a soft little gasp.

"This is when you choose to tell me that?" she said, her eyes suddenly wet with tears. "In the middle of the yard with a dozen people standing around?"

Bellamy smiled ruefully. "I'm sorry," he said. "It just kind of slipped out. I know you don't want to hear it."

"No!" she said. "You're wrong. This is exactly when we need to say these things. Not when you're dying. Or already dead."

Clarke took a deep breath, smiled happily. "I love you, too, Bellamy. More than I can really even explain. Please don't die on me."

He laughed. "You're such a romantic," he said, hugging her tightly once again.

"Now go talk to your sister." She pushed him away.

"You never change, Clarke Griffin. Always so bossy."

Bellamy picked up his pack, nodded to Roan, and the two slid into the Rover. As he drove out the gate and down the path to meet Octavia, Bellamy was suddenly very clear about three things.

He would patch up his relationship with Octavia. If not today, then some other day. But it would happen.

He would successfully complete this mission, getting the information they needed to keep them all alive and safe.

And he would love Clarke Griffin forever.

A/N: And so we've reached the end of the story. I hope you've all enjoyed taking this trip with me.