Chapter Twelve – I Will Not Break, I Will Not Move

James held onto his IV stand as he weakly wobbled down the hall. He turned a corner then walked into Kendall's hospital room. His legs ached and walking around at night slightly creeped him out. But it was the only time where he could visit Kendall without getting told to go rest his legs. James sat on the end of Kendall's bed, holding onto his IV stand while watching Kendall's unconscious body.

"Hey Kendall, it's James again… I don't know if you can hear me, but I read somewhere that people can hear the sound of peoples voices when they're in a coma… So here I am, speaking to you again. I really miss you…" James confessed. "I miss you so much… I can't wait for you to wake up…"

"We've been through a lot together, we really have… I did so much for you, and as much as I want you to know that, I really hope you don't remember. I really went through a lot, I ripped my calf muscles…" James chuckled. James remembered what he had said to Logan a week ago, deciding he would repeat those words to Kendall.

"This is going to sound crazy, and believe me; I even think it's crazy. Every time I wake up I just wish it was all a dream. I wish it never really happened. But I always wake up with the same pain in my legs to remind me of the horrible thing…" Logan had stayed silent at the time, just like Kendall's unawake self was right now.

"I fell into this box right… Then I was in this weird white room. The room died and turned into a forest like place, which was super weird at first. Then this disguised guy comes out of nowhere. The figure made me do a bunch of tests to see how much I really loved Kendall. I had to do some horrible things. I had to get Kendall to love me, I had to fuck him on an island. There was one point where he was with you and I basically took him for myself. That wasn't even the worse… When I think about it now, Kendall hating me was the worst. But abusing him was even more horrible. He looks like this because of me… But he stabbed Kendall. That must have taken him out… I'm so sorry… It was all so fucking frustrating!"

James stared at Kendall's body, sighing deeply. "But you don't need to know all the details. You were there… I just hope you don't remember…" James said softly. "Kendall, I love you so much…" James said softly.

He wrapped his hands tighter around the steel pole, resting his messy head on it. He watched Kendall carefully, looking at his heart monitor then back at him. James checked the monitor one more time, making sure Kendall's heart was still beating for assurance. Kendall was unresponsive, but the fact he was still alive was the only thing that mattered right now.

"Excuse me Mr. Diamond, but you're not supposed to be in here…" One of the female nurses that had been treating Kendall said softly.

"Sorry, I was just checking on him."

"Well that's my job. Your job is to heal and go home." The ginger nurse said as she walked into the room. James weakly stood up then smiled.

"I'll try…" He said softly as he limped past her.

❦ • ~ • ~ • • ~ • ~ • ❦

Weeks had passed. James was out of hospital and on his feet again, but Kendall still lay in his hospital bed. James could hardly function properly. Everything he did was similar to how he acted when Kendall originally went missing. Only instead of clue searching, James was out researching comas and checking on Kendall. He was only allowed to stay during opening hours. Which took up James' entire day. Carlos really did stay away from him though. Out of guilt and anger. James was concerned, but he didn't let it bother him as he was still angry with Carlos. He didn't know if he was going to be able to forgive him.

Inside Kendall's mind, he was replaying everything that happened in the universe over and over again. He replayed what happened when a hooded figure kidnapped him and chained him down. The fights he tried to put up. Everything he did to try and break free and run to James. All of the mind games he tried to play in order to reach his lover. He replayed when James tried to reach him, and when Carlos had stabbed him deeply. He replayed watching James step out of the portal then try to get to the hospital. He remembered briefly waking up on the operating table then blacking out for good. Then all the thoughts would start all over again.

James sat in the same spot he always sat in when visiting Kendall. He sat in the one chair that the nurses allowed him to keep by Kendall's bed. James would rest his head on the bed and hold Kendall's hand while he thought. He tried to ignore everything to do with the stupid universe. But the memory of meeting Carlos in that dark, brick coated room engraved his memory negatively.

"You're not his cousin, are you?" The male nurse said as he changed Kendall's fluids. He changed all the empty IV bags and inspected everything that required inspecting. James sat up and watched the nurse do his daily routine.

"What makes you think that?" James asked miserably as he kept his hand in Kendall's limp one.

"I know that some relatives are closer than others, but you're here more than his mother and sister. You don't really come off as the incestuous type, but you do come off as his partner… Just the way you stare at him, and the way you're always here…"

"Will I get told to leave if we're not related?" James worriedly asked.

"It wouldn't work if I did ask. You'd find a way to sneak in. Even when you were in here and couldn't walk you found ways to sneak into his room every day…" The nurse said as he finished what he was doing. He threw the old see-through bags into a special bin then moved to stand in front of James. "Anyway, I guess I'll see you tomorrow…" The nurse smiled as he walked to the door. As he walked to the door, the ginger woman walked in. He explained everything that could possibly be new with Kendall and how to look after him. She nodded then said her goodbyes to the man then walked in to take a quick look.

"Hi James, how are you today?" She smiled.

"Fine. Still wishing he would wake up though…" James said longingly. The orange haired girl smiled sweetly then quickly took Kendall's temperature. She grabbed out his files and inspected him further, taking a few notes while conversing with James.

"Everyone does. I haven't tended to a coma patient so young before. A friend of mine once treated an eight year old girl, but Kendall is the youngest I've done. It's sad that he's like this, but nothing's been said about it. Luckily you brought him in when you did though. Otherwise he would've been a goner…" The woman tried to pick up James' mood but only depressed him further as he remembered what he had to do to save Kendall's life.

"True…" James said softly as he stared at Kendall, capturing Kendall's hand in both of his.

"Well, I'm sure if you wish hard enough he'll wake up…" The ginger smiled as she turned and walked out of the room. James sighed then looked at the blond.

"Please Kendall… Wake up soon…" James pleaded. For a moment he felt hopeful; hopeful that Kendall would wake up and everything could finally be forgotten and go back to normal. He stared at Kendall, waiting for those green eyes to open up to the world. Only, they never did.

❦ • ~ • ~ • • ~ • ~ • ❦

James was back in his usual position, telling Kendall about his horrible day at school and how lonely it was without him. James' legs started to hurt from sitting for so long, so he decided to walk around Kendall's hospital room for a bit. He walked towards the window, looking down into the hospital carpark. He stared out the window, thinking deeply.

He then looked up at the perfect baby blue sky, admiring the white fluffy clouds that scattered over the sky. He stared at them, his eyes moulded with a look of sadness and worry from feeling like that for so long. He hadn't smiled properly in months, and it depressed him even more to know so.

James stared out into the sky, and then looked back down at the carpark. Kendall's finger lightly twitched, but James wasn't looking at him to see it. His eyes started to twitch and move back and forth. His eyeballs moved under his eyelids as his lip slowly started to tremble. His heart beat slowly sped up as his eyes opened. He squinted, not adjusting himself properly to the light. Once he was familiar with the light, confusion struck him harshly. He couldn't understand where he was, what he was doing or what he was feeling.

This increased his heartbeat even more. Kendall opened his dry lips, trying to form words. He looked over towards the window, letting his body slowly crawl back into consciousness. He moved his lips and tried to speak. Only his throat and voice was so strained nothing but air came out. James sighed then turned around, stopping all his movements to stare at Kendall.

Kendall stared right back at James. His green eyes almost sparkled in the newly discovered light. James shakily grinned, not sure whether Kendall was really awake or not. He didn't trust it at first, until Kendall's moving lips finally pushed a word out.

"J-Ja~mes…" He said in a groggy, fragile voice. Within that one word, thousands of emotions exploded through James' body, despite how broken the small voice sounded.

"Kendall… Kendall!" James cheered happily as his eyes filled with tears. He ran towards the blond, quickly sitting on the side of the bed then pulling Kendall into a tight head. "I-I'm so happy you're awake!" James said as he hugged Kendall. Kendall feebly hugged James back, resting his head on James' body. "I missed you so much… Kendall, I love you…" James said as he kissed Kendall's forehead repeatedly.

The ginger nurse walked past right at this moment. She looked in, shocked and angry with James' actions.

"James! I told you, you're not supposed to touch him like that! Holding his hand is more than enough!" She lectured as she stormed in. James pulled away then let Kendall softly lay back.

"No- he- he's awake," James couldn't help but sob as he held onto Kendall's hands tightly; scared Kendall was going to slip back into the coma. The nurse looked shocked as she tried to form the right words. She grinned, then shook her head.

"Quick James, go into the waiting room and call his family. I've gotta go get his doctors." She said as she quickly zipped away. "The coma patient is awake!" She yelled out into the halls. James kissed Kendall's head again then stood up.

"Don't fall asleep…" James said as he quickly exited the room while pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Within a matter of a few hours, Logan, James, Jennifer and Katie were allowed into a different hospital room to visit Kendall. First Jennifer and Katie went in alone to see him, leaving James and Logan awkwardly standing outside the closed door.

"What did it feel like when he woke up…?" Logan casually asked.

"Amazing. I've never felt so happy in my life. The feeling really is unexplainable… Seeing him staring at me again…" James smiled at the memory of seeing Kendall wake up. "Anyway, is Carlos coming down?"

"After what happened between all of you, I don't think so…" Logan said softly.

"Could you call him again for me please? We need to make up so Kendall thinks everything is fine…"

"James! Please! Bring James in, I need to see him!" Kendall's yells were heard through the doors. James instantly opened up the door and looked in along with Logan.

"Everything okay?" James asked anxiously.

"I think he wants to see you…" Jennifer said softly. Her and Katie walked out, along with Logan so he could go off and call Carlos. James hesitantly walked in then casually sat down next to Kendall. Kendall stared at James with a lot of love and compassion in his eyes.

"I love you James…" He said tiredly.

"I love you too…" James replied without questioning. Hearing the sentence felt so much more important after what happened. It felt like those precious words were a lot more important than they seemed to be. They were no longer simply words that were said at random times. They were much more valuable than that.

"James… What happened…" Kendall said softly.

"Before you passed out?" James asked. Kendall nodded then sat up a little. He pulled down the sheets then pulled him his hospital gown enough to show James his stomach. There was a huge scar from the knife Carlos had stabbed Kendall with right in his abs.

"What is it? The doctors said that you walked from Logan's house to here. That you carried me in. They also said that you kept the knife there to stop the bleeding, but everyone keeps saying they don't know what happened because you won't talk." Kendall's voice was still tired and weak, it was slightly vague to hear. James sighed then held Kendall's hands. "Please tell me the truth…"

James didn't want to lie. He really didn't. But it was for Kendall's own good, not his own. "You got into a huge fight. This guy kidnapped you. Carlos and Officer Garcia caught him, so don't worry. But I found you and him. He locked us both up, but I fought my way out. I tried really hard to save you, but he ended up beating you really badly. When I finally knocked him out I saw he had stabbed you. So I grabbed you then ran…" James said softly. He felt terrible for lying, but Kendall seemed to believe it.

"I-I must've been hit pretty hard…" Kendall said softly as he looked down at his and James' hands.

"It took a lot out of me too…" The sentence made a look of worry cross Kendall's features. "Of course, I'm all good now." James smiled as assurance. "Especially now that you're awake…" James held Kendall's hands tightly, smiling at the blond in pure happiness. He wanted to enjoy and savour the moment, but the whole thing still lingered over his heart. To him, it didn't feel like it was all over yet.

❦ • ~ • ~ • • ~ • ~ • ❦

Kendall's body was still weak from everything he had endured. James knew he was in a coma and all, but it was medically induced. James was the one who had to go through multiple levels just to get to him. But those thoughts didn't bug him as much as the thought of the game not being over. He knew it was over. Everyone was back home, out of the box and away from the universe.

James was visiting Kendall. Today he was going to be released from the hospital. The doctors had to come in within a few hours to do some final checkups to make sure he was definitely good to go. James stood by the same window he had spent weeks looking out while Kendall napped. James still went to visit Kendall every day, and especially during his spare time.

James looked out the window, watching everything happening on the floor below. He was lost in the thoughts of his own mind. Kendall slowly opened his eyes, yawning quietly to himself. He sat up in his bed then watched James. The brunet was concentrating hard; Kendall could tell something was bothering him.

"James… You've been really strange lately… Is everything okay?" Kendall asked. James slowly turned around; Kendall's voice no longer surprising him. James was used to Kendall waking up when his back was turned.

"You're awake…" James stated.

"I realised…" Kendall smiled. He removed the bed sheets from his body then moved over. He gestured for James to sit by him. James hesitated at first then lazily sat down next to Kendall. "Now, tell me what's up…"

"Nothing… I was just thinking…" James stated.

"Thinking about what?" Kendall stubbornly asked. James knew Kendall wasn't going to give up, he was just a persistent guy like that.

"Just your accident… I mean, he put you in a coma… And it was all my fault… Maybe if I got you faster… Or maybe if he didn't touch you in the first place. Ugh…" James groaned as he rested his head in one of his hands. "I dunno… I just can't stop thinking about it." James admitted.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Kendall asked carefully as he leaned forwards, looking at James closely.

"No, I told you everything…" James answered. He considered what he said a white lie because it had some truth to it. Considering he basically did tell him everything, only he just left out huge details like Carlos and the universe. James continued to stare at Kendall, hoping the conversation wouldn't go any further. Kendall sighed then looked over James' shoulder.

"God you're a sulky bitch. Are you coming home soon or what?" Katie asked as she walked through the door with Carlos at her side.

"Katie, language…" Carlos whispered. "Heya buddy," Carlos grinned, directly ignoring James. Carlos approached the hospital bed with the small girl. Kendall cringed at the sound of Carlos' voice. He felt uncomfortable with him and could sense the awkwardness his presence brought to James.

"Hey guys…" Kendall smiled awkwardly. "Where mum?"

"She had to do some work stuff. She's been super busy lately because she has to work extra to pay for you. Carlos offered to give me a ride up since he was going past out place anyway." Katie answered.

"Okay… Hey Carlos, did something happen between you and James? I don't think he's gonna tell me if I ask…" Kendall suddenly asked. Carlos wasn't expecting the question so he looked to James with panic in his eyes.

"Uh- Uh no! No, of course not. We're both fine," Carlos blabbered nervously.

"Cause that was believable…" Both Kendall and Katie said as they simultaneously crossed their arms.

"Don't worry Kendall. Go back to your worrying self when you're not lying in a hospital bed." James said with a warm smile.

"He's right- you shouldn't be worrying about anything after waking up from a coma…" A doctor said as he entered the room. He smiled at Kendall. As he advanced towards the blond everyone cleared out of his way. They all stood behind the doctor as a nurse came in to join him. "You're looking a lot healthier. I've just gotta check a few things then we'll let you go home. We will need your mum to sign you out though…" The doctor grinned.

"I'm old enough to do it myself…" Kendall huffed with embarrassment.

The doctor chuckled and shook his head. He and the nurse's started to inspect Kendall. That was when James and the others were told to leave the room. They accepted this demand without putting up a fight because it was just a simple full-body check up. James stood out the front of Kendall's hospital room with Carlos at his side. Katie had disappeared somewhere down the hall.

"He's going to start remembering everything one day or another… You do know that, right?" Carlos said as he kept his hands in his denim pockets. Both he and James stared at the plastic like floor of the hospital. James crossed his arms then furrowed his eyebrows.

"As far as he's concerned, those can be dreams." James said in a somewhat stubborn tone.

"But what if all of this was a dream? What would you do if you woke up and none of this ever happened?" Carlos asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"It feels too realistic to be a dream… No matter how much I wish it was. Even if it was a dream, I surely would've woken up months ago." James said, staring right down the path of logic. Anything he thought of in any sort of logical sense was starting to remind him of Logan.

"I really am sorry… It was supposed to be a fun game. I mean- I had fun. I thought you guys would;ve found it fun too…" Carlos said in a soft and bashful voice.

"Look, you don't need to apologise so god damn much. I'll always be pissed at you for making me go through what I had to go through. Kendall too. If you explained everything better, or made it all easier. Maybe even if you didn't make it so painful and dangerous, it may have been fun. But even then, the game was sick and twisted."

"James, it could've been worse. Trust me." Something about the tone in Carlos' voice put James off; it made him just drop the conversation right then and there.

"I can't wait till Kendall's out of hospital though," James awkwardly stated. As if on cue, the door to Kendall's room opened and the doctors walked out. That happened to be when Jennifer came down the hall as well. While the doctors spoke with Mrs. Knight, James looked into Kendall's hospital room. But when he looked in, the blond was nowhere to be seen.

"Where did Kendall go?" James cautiously asked as he turned to face the doctors. The doctor and nurse froze up. They didn't move at all. James stared at them for a moment, waiting for someone to move. But when he looked around the space out the front of the room, everything had been frozen. "What the hell?" James hissed.

"Did you really think I would let you finish that easily. You played really dirty James…" Carlos said as he unfroze himself.

"Oh bend me over and fuck me backwards, you can't seriously still be playing this stupid game with me." James grunted as he turned away from Carlos. "Just give me Kendall. Please."

"We're not in the box anymore James. We're in the real world. I don't control any of it anymore." Carlos stated.

"What's that supposed to mean?" James asked as irritation slipped easily through each word and breath that left his mouth.

"It means what it means. In fact, I've never controlled any of this the whole time. How cools that?" Carlos grinned as he walked around the frozen people in the hospital. Carlos started to walk down a hall, so James forced himself to follow. He really didn't want too, but he knew Carlos wasn't done with what he was saying at all. Carlos walked into a waiting room then stopped in front of a little girl. He bent down and fixed up her messy hair by retying a small bow and combing out her brown locks. "Look…" He started. "I actually am sorry all of this happened. But I was just one of the chess pieces y'know? I was just a pawn in the kings incongruous game."

"A pawn? What's with the sudden chess references? Why is this still going? I'm done! Okay?" James groaned.

"James… We're all pieces in this game. Most of us are his pawn. Even Katie and Mama K. We don't choose to be in the game, we just are. Kendall is your prize. But the king understands that you were mine." Carlos stated as he sat down next to the little girl. He took the barbie she was holding out of her hands and smiled warmly.

"I don't understand…" James said as he stood in front of the Latino.

"I played the game. I had a figure put me through all the levels. I was supposed to gain my prize… But my prize was too fixated on someone else. So, he gave me a new prize. That prize was the power to make you go through everything I had to go through to try and get you. But guess what? I didn't get my happy ending. So neither do you. You know that fate was meant to kill Kendall, don't you?" Carlos smirked as he started to stroke the dolls blonde hair.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" James answered with genuine oblivion.

"Kendall. You dreamt about it. You've already dreamt about everything. You dreamt about when Kendall was in the dark room, I know you did. That dream was a taste of the future; a way of showing you what is meant to happen. I thought you had forgotten about the dream, and yet you somehow dodged the situation. You dodged Kendall's fate. Kendall's gonna wake up soon James. And when he does, you'll be the one who forgets everything…" To James, Carlos was just talking nonsense. His gut felt like it was saying 'I told you so' to James as it reminded him of the fact that he felt like it wasn't over.

But James also remembered that dream he kept having. That same, continuous dream that always woke him up with a need to ensure Kendall was safe. The dream of Kendall being kidnapped, and the figure revealing himself to be Carlos. Kendall always died in those dreams. His throat was always slit and Kendall always died. But in the reality of things, he never did die. James really did dodge the fate.

James stared at Carlos, finally understanding part of what Carlos was talking about. "Who was your figure?" James asked, wanting to know who started it all.

"Mine? Oh- it was Logan of course. He and Katie started studying this weird magic thing together to try and prank us. That's when I was dragged into the box…"

'No wonder it was in Logan's house…' Everything had basically turned into puzzle pieces. And the more James stood in front of Carlos the more he started to piece everything together. In his mind he was moving pieces together, waiting for the picture to be revealed to him. Then, within a matter of seconds everything finally made sense to him. Everything that had happened; it was like the few minutes after a storm. All the unknown clouds had finally blown away, revealing a clear sky that had the answer to everything written across it.

This wasn't anything. Everything that had happened, was actually nothing. The answer was; none of this really exists.

TBC

~Man, every time I promise myself to update I always seem to forget! I'm in a halloweeny mood (even though we don't celebrate it here), I might write a haloween fic! xD who knows! I hope that you're liking this fic so far and that you're having a fantastic day! (I will update after I re-watch Free! And Love Stage! For the millionth time)- Bebo~