ETWentHome, thank you so much for your review. Ethan doesn't leave the hospital once in this chapter so maybe he'll put Cal out of his head completely and get on with his work. Or maybe he won't...
Tanith Panic, I promise I didn't steal the stomach ache idea from you! I love it when Ethan does his best for Cal and I'm hoping he'll get back to doing that in tonight's episode. Thank you for the review!
Ethan arrived back at the hospital fifteen minutes late with stomach ache. Guiltily, he hurried off to change, only to see Connie coming the other way.
"You're late, Dr Hardy. Care to tell me why you keep disappearing?"
"I'm sorry, Mrs Beauchamp. I was checking on Caleb," said Ethan. He put his hand to his stomach and wondered if the pharmacy had any indigestion tablets.
"If Dr Knight is unwell enough to need the services of an ER registrar, he can come and sit in the waiting room like everyone else," said Connie. "If not, he's hardly your concern."
"He's my brother!" Ethan said disbelievingly. "You can't expect me not to worry about-" He remembered who he was talking to and stopped himself. "I'm sorry, Mrs Beauchamp. For being late and for speaking to you like that."
"And what about all the rest of the trouble you've caused lately?" said Connie. "Are you sorry for that?"
Ethan hung his head. "Of course I am. I'm very sorry for everything I've done wrong."
"Then go and do something right for a change," said Connie.
Ethan scurried off to change. He was fighting tears, but he knew he deserved her rebuke. He hadn't done anything right for a long time. He'd messed up with his patients; he'd been cruel to his heartbroken and possibly depressed brother; and now he couldn't even get to work on time. He knew he needed to sort himself out, but he didn't know how.
He wished there was someone he could talk to, but he didn't feel that close to anyone in the ED. He knew they all respected him as a doctor (or they had done) and he didn't think any of them actively disliked him, but none of them seemed that interested in him as a person. Lily seemed to enjoy their medical discussions, but she preferred not to discuss personal matters. Lofty was very kind, but he was more Cal's friend than Ethan's and it seemed disloyal to tell him about Cal's problems. Rita would listen, but she'd want something to be done about it and there was always a chance she might make a decision without consulting Ethan. There was always Zoe or Charlie, of course, but they'd already spent valuable time supporting Ethan recently and he didn't like to ask any more of them.
And Robyn… he couldn't talk to Robyn. He couldn't even look at her without feeling guilty, so how could he unburden himself to her?
Cal hadn't thought about alcohol for some time, but considering where he was, it was inevitable he'd come face to face with it sooner or later.
Not that alcohol really had a face, but it was certainly giving Cal a good, hard stare.
He stretched his hand out towards one of the bottles and told himself there was no reason why he shouldn't buy it. He was over eighteen and had every right to buy as much alcohol as he wanted to. Just because he was buying it, it didn't mean he was going to go home and drink it all at once.
Maybe he was going to drink it at all. He could buy it for Ethan. Ethan was obviously going through hell and it might help to drown his sorrows a little bit.
Cal picked up one of the bottles and put it into his basket. Another followed. Then another.
Then another…
Ethan sat in the staff room and tried to calm himself down. Nothing had gone wrong. He'd only been dealing with patients from the waiting room, but at least he hadn't needed Zoe's help. So far, everything had gone well, but he couldn't help worrying.
A successful hour or so at work didn't change the fact he had a problem and it also didn't change the fact his brother was missing. Cal did have a habit of disappearing off the face of the earth and then turning up completely okay, but that was often only after weeks or even months of worry. Ethan hoped he would get home at the end of the day and find Cal waiting for him. If he did, he would apologise for his behaviour and ask Cal to forgive him.
But what if Cal wasn't there?
The phone in Ethan's hands vibrated and he almost dropped it. He nearly did the same again when he saw who the text was from.
It was from Cal.
Or maybe it wasn't from Cal. Maybe it was from someone who'd found Cal's phone. Maybe Cal was so upset by what Ethan had said, he'd gone off and done something stupid and abandoned his phone somewhere…
Ethan's mouth was dry as he looked at the text.
I'm fine, I'm shopping, don't worry
At first, Ethan only felt overpowering relief that Cal was able to reply to his text message. The fact he was doing the shopping willingly was out of character, but it would be good for Cal to do something useful. Maybe Ethan's words had had a positive effect.
Then Ethan felt terror as he realised that it might not be so much food shopping as retail therapy. Ethan wasn't necessarily against the idea of buying yourself something to cheer you up, but Cal's tastes were expensive and his bank balance was low.
He phoned Cal, but his brother didn't answer.
Cal stumbled down another aisle. There had to be loos somewhere. Wasn't it the law or something? He was sure there had to be loos if there was a café and Cal knew there was a café because that was what had caused the problem. He didn't know what it was he'd smelled, but it had turned Cal's slight queasiness into something much worse.
At last, he saw the sign up ahead of him. He dropped his basket outside the door and rushed in, hoping there was an available cubicle. To his relief, there was. He sank down onto his knees, leaning over the toilet bowl just in time.
When he was sure he'd finished, he sat up, leaning back against the door. This had been a stupid idea. He wasn't well enough for shopping trips and now he was going to need Ethan to come and pick him up.
Poor Ethan. He deserved so much better than a brother like Cal.
