Chapter 12 – All Downhill From Here

What was taking so long?

Pouting, she threw back the covers and got to her feet. All Itachi had to do was lock up and then come to bed. That certainly did not take well over five minutes, not in an apartment that consisted of two main doors (and one of them went onto a balcony – they were six floors up, too).

Had her invitation not been obvious enough? Damn it, now that they had their own place and didn't have to worry about Kakashi or Naruto overhearing them, Sakura wanted nothing more than to rip the clothes from her beautiful boyfriend's body and have him make love to her into the early hours of the morning. Did he not feel the same way?

It was with an air of defeat that she opened the door and stepped into the living room, sighing, "Itachi, come to bed already."

It honestly scared the crap out of her when he spun on his heel faster than she could even keep up with, more or less storming over to her with a face that showed less emotion than a rock.

"Go back to bed."

"What-"

"Go back to bed," he snapped, voice raising a fraction.

Shock rooted her into her spot. Never – and she seriously meant never – had Itachi ever raised his voice to her. Never had he ever sounded angry with her like he currently did – at least she thought it was anger. It sounded like it was, but taking a look into his eyes showed her the dilation of his pupils and now that they were closer, she could hear his quickened breathing, could see the rapid rising and falling of his chest.

Sakura grabbed his waist, her own eyes widening. "Itachi, calm down. What's going on?"

A sudden knock on the door had her head snapping to the left and Itachi grabbed her hands, all but dragging her to the door with him. What the hell was happening? In her chest, her heart was beating about a mile a minute and she could feel her palms growing sweaty, could feel her stomach twisting sharply.

She needed to calm down.

As soon as the door opened, Kakashi was brushing by them and going straight to the balcony, freezing in his spot when he was there. It was outside. Whatever was happening, it was happening outside and if she wanted to find out, she had to-

"Sakura, go back to bed."

"No," she muttered defiantly. Like hell they were going to shove her out of it. If something bad was going down, she was going to know about it. "Let me see."

Itachi's patience was slipping by the second and the hold on her hands tightened considerably. "Listen to me and do as I say for once, Sakura."

The anger was talking. His panic and whatever else he was feeling was getting the best of him. Like he always did for her, Sakura was determined on being there for him, even if what she saw haunted her. There wasn't a chance in hell she would let him go through anything bad alone, not anymore, not while she was around.

Not that it was exactly a secret, but Itachi must have noticed her defiance and before she could even react, she was being freaking carried into her own bedroom like a sack of potatoes. Literally thrown over his shoulder and dropped onto the bed! How strong was her boyfriend? He'd never shown that much strength before!

"Stay here," he ordered and without even looking at her, walked out of the bedroom.

She heard something being pushed up to the door and even though part of herself was saying it was futile, Sakura got up and tried the handle anyway, only to find that it was jammed. He'd barricaded her in and in response, a huge surge of panic welled within her. Turning, she marched over to her window, flinging it open and greedily gulping the cold winter air. She couldn't lose her shit – wouldn't lose it. Not when Itachi was freaking out himself and needed her at her best.

Trembling hands raked through her hair and Sakura slowly dropped to her knees, damp forehead pressing to the cool window ledge. Deep breaths. Slow deep breaths and while she didn't have many good memories of the past, she had hundreds, if not thousands, from the present and so went to them, gently rocking in her place, willing herself not to break down and succumb to her panic.

Her hands moved to the ledge, gripping it tightly and she squeezed her eyes shut.


"Come on, Saku-chan!" a voice called from outside her bedroom door and repeatedly, the handle shook, telling her they were attempting to get in. Luckily for her, she'd grown strong enough to push her dresser in front of it and the thing weighed a tonne. "Come join the adult's party."

Fear had her slipping down the wall in the corner of her room, had her knees coming to her chest and her forehead to her knees, doing her best to block out the sounds.


Wide green eyes darted to the door as footsteps entered the apartment, followed shortly by voices she couldn't recognise.

The handle jiggled.


"We'll have fun, Saku-chan," a different voice, a deeper voice, coaxed. "Show you things you've never even heard about before."


"There is no need for you to enter that room," came Itachi's cold voice. It stunned her to hear it so toneless, so detached.

"We have to examine all parts of the property," was the reply from somebody she didn't know. It was a feminine voice, though still deep. "You know this already, Uchiha-senpai."

Wow. Senpai. Had she not been so breathless, had she not been struggling for breath, Sakura would have laughed.


"Get the fuck out," the earlier voice screamed, slamming their fists against the door and it shook threateningly. It wouldn't withstand much abuse and it terrified her. What would happen if they got in her room? She didn't want to join their party. She'd seen enough to know what would happen and she didn't want anyone to touch her like they did her mother. "Get out!"

"Go away!" she screamed in return, hands coming to her ears.


It didn't even register to her that she was covering her ears, didn't register to her that she'd fallen onto her behind, only to lean forward until her forehead was pressed to the ground, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to be locked away anymore. She didn't want there to be strange people in her home.

"Stop it," she ordered of herself. "Stop it!"

Damn it, why did this always have to happen? Why couldn't she be normal? Why couldn't she ever be in control of herself, of her emotions and her own head? It was like everything she commanded herself not to do, happened anyway and there was no way to prevent it. All she wanted was to be there for her boyfriend.

When the hyperventilating began, Sakura forced herself to sit up, tried to talk herself into taking measured breaths to calm the overflowing panic, but she moved too fast, didn't register her surroundings, overestimated her own balance despite still being on her knees and only briefly did she feel the pain of smashing her head on the window ledge.


"Sakura, can you hear me?"

Green eyes fluttered open and she winced, reaching for the back of her head, though was unable to feel the wound due to being on her back, sprawled out awkwardly on the hard flooring.

Leaning over her was Itachi, his expression worried and cautious and not too far behind him stood Kakashi, looking more or less the same. There was something off about the way they held themselves, or their expressions, or maybe it was the air around them or maybe, more than likely, it was still the minute panic that was still present? Maybe she was imagining their supposedly discreet glances at one another?

No, something was definitely wrong, because she could hear people in her living room moving around and talking. Even ANBU wouldn't know what floorboards were creaky in a home they'd never visited before, it seemed.

"Take it slowly," Itachi warned, helping Sakura to ease into a sitting position. Once up, she leaned back against the very same windowsill she'd knocked herself out on. "What happened?"

"I banged my head," she muttered, once again reaching to feel the wound. Pulling back her hand, she found there was no blood. It just hurt like a bitch. "I must've knocked myself out."

"Forgive me for locking you in," came his apologetic murmur. His voice was heavy with regret.

Her eyes slid over to Kakashi's form, but he was giving nothing away, watching her with a guarded expression – from what little she could see of it. Yet again, he was wearing that mask, though it no longer surprised her.

"What's going on?" Sakura almost begged in a tired whisper.

Fortunately for her, it appeared Itachi could sense her pain at being kept in the dark, because he sighed, telling her in a hush, "Hidan is back."

Disbelief made her immobile. "What?" She laughed nervously, looking between the two men. "Surely it's just some mistake-"

"It's no mistake," Kakashi cut her off, voice stern. "Hidan is back in Konoha, Sakura and he murdered several of our operatives."

That was… insane. Wary of causing more injury, Sakura tenderly leaned her head back, eyes wide and staring up at the ceiling. Itachi had made ANBU sound like it was the toughest organisation in the entire freaking world, but if it was, then how was it possible for one man to kill many of the operatives?

After only a moment of pause, Itachi joined her, leaning back beneath the window. Apparently he was just as grateful for the fresh air, for the breeze that blew in, because he sighed again and this time, it wasn't entirely negative.

"These were people Kakashi-san and I have worked with personally, Sakura," he told her softly, quietly. "People we have spent time with and gotten to know, had conversations with and opened up to. I'm sorry for being harsh with you and forcing you into the room."

Now that his actions had been explained, guilt enveloped her. What a time for her to lose her head. Not only had Hidan returned to Konoha after being stabbed in the heart, but he'd also murdered friends of Kakashi and Itachi's.

"He got away," Itachi went on to tell her. "I froze and because of that, Hidan got away."

Also sighing, Kakashi walked away from the door and around the bed, sitting on the edge of it. "That couldn't be helped, Itachi-san."

"Yeah," she agreed with him. "Anyone in their right mind would feel too shocked to move if their friends were-"

But he shook his head, eyes shutting as Itachi's head fell back against the window ledge. "I didn't know who they were until another operative arrived and confirmed their identities."

Sakura looked between the two, frowning. "How did we miss that, anyway? Surely we would have heard if a fight was going on in the street?"

"The operative also confirmed that they were in different stages of decomposition. Hidan wanted to make a dramatic return and it has worked. Anyone who was looking out of their windows or balcony – anyone on the entire street – will have seen his… work."

Did that mean ANBU was no longer a secret? No, surely not. There had to have been several incidents like the one that had just transpired, ones that were covered up by their leader, Danzo. Things like that just couldn't go unnoticed.

Reaching out, she grasped one of their hands in hers, giving comforting squeezes, all the while internally screaming at the fact that Hidan, a man who had survived being stabbed in the heart and was capable of murdering ANBU's operatives, had returned just as things began to look up for them all.


Somehow – she didn't even want to know how – the leader of ANBU managed to keep the murders from making the news. There were murmurs around the building about it from those who happened to have been looking out their windows two nights ago, but there was nothing concrete to prove that it actually happened, so it was all rumours.

Since Hidan's dramatic return, Itachi was on edge and it worried her greatly. He was much more reserved now, retreating and keeping to himself in a way that scared her. Yes, it was understandable and he had every reason to want to be alone, but… Was it selfish of her to need him?

As if that wasn't bad enough, when she was dressing herself just a few hours ago, Sakura was horrified to find that her favourite jeans no longer fit. Oh, she'd managed to fasten them after yelling at Itachi to help her (something she still couldn't believe had needed to happen – she'd always imagined him taking them off for her, not putting them on), but once they were up and on and she leaned down to put her shoes on, the button pinged off and they split right down the ass. It was one of those moments where she wasn't sure whether she should cry or laugh.

Surely it couldn't be possible to put that much weight on within a little less than two months? They were nearing February now and they had made love at more or less the beginning of December. It was disheartening knowing she was piling the weight on, even while eating only small portions and the whole throwing up incident, with a few minor slips ups every now and then.

It wasn't that she was getting fat, because she wasn't. Alone, Sakura had been unable to pull her jeans over her thighs and hips, with help, it was doable… Kind of. Okay, so her stomach was a little on the pudgy side and her hips had more of a flare, but she was doing her best to not view it as a bad thing. There'd already been a few minor slip ups – she didn't need more of them, no matter how tempting it felt, or no matter how much it felt like she had to resort to such drastic measures. The more it happened, the closer Sakura came to falling over the edge and it would be an even bigger fight.

Narrowing her eyes, she squeezed her tweezers and yanked, only minimally flinching at the pain that caused her right eye to water. In front of her on her kitchen table was a small mirror, one that doubled up as a magnifying glass of sorts, helping her to spot the more stubborn eyebrow hairs.

Itachi had gone to university and was due back at three, whereas Sakura emailed her tutor, apologising for not making it in today. No, she wasn't skipping class to pluck her eyebrows, she simply needed some time to herself after all that had happened in the past few days – and that was a lot. Normal people would have buckled under the pressure of the nonstop assaults. Heck, she had buckled under the pressure.

"Sakura-chan."

Looking through the mirror, she spotted a blond peeping his head into the kitchen, grinning brightly and a second later, once Naruto had entered the kitchen entirely, Sakura saw that he was holding his laptop.

"Guess who's online?"

She dropped the tweezers. "Really? At this time of day?"

The already bright grin widened further and he nodded excitedly. "I'm gonna video call him. Wanna join?"

Sakura went as far as to yank a chair closer to hers, shoving her mirror backwards and out of the way to make room for the laptop. As Naruto had told her: their best friend was online and while it said that he was busy, they knew he would also drop everything to speak with them.

Then, she paused, frowning. "How did you get in?"

Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "I swiped Kakashi's key while he's passed out."

Of course he had. "He'll know when he wakes up."

"I know, but I'll deal with that later. Right now, we gotta speak to our other half!"

"It's not a half if there's three of us," corrected Sakura with a sigh.

"Our other third doesn't have the same ring to it," he argued.

No, it didn't, however, Sakura couldn't help but feel like it was perhaps too intimate to call one another their other halves. What if Itachi heard her calling his younger brother that? Or vice versa? Those thoughts weren't entertained for long as the screen switched to a split screen, one side showing herself and Naruto (Sakura was secretly pleased about how well she'd plucked her own eyebrows), whereas the other was of a blank screen until half a minute later when their call was connected.

They both grinned.

"Hi, Sasuke-kun."

"Yo, Sasuke."

Sasuke's laptop was clearly on a desk and was a considerable distance from him, since they could see the paperwork that was spread out across the wooden desk – clearly he'd only been using his laptop to look up certain things for his assignment.

She frowned. "We didn't interrupt you, did we?"

He shook his head, smirking softly at them both. It was also apparent that he was tired, too, if the dark circles around his eyes were anything to go by. "I'm glad you both called."

If it was even possible, Naruto smiled the happiest smile she'd seen out of him for a while. "It's good to hear from you, man. You haven't been on x-box live for a while," he accused despite the smile.

Something in Sasuke's expression shifted and he looked to the side, head tilting slightly. "I've been busy." Not-so-subtly changing the subject, he then asked her, "How are things with Itachi, Sakura? Did you get your dog?"

She leaned closer slightly, nudging Naruto out of the way. Damned blond was hogging the camera. "I don't know what you said, but thank you, Sasuke-kun. We actually got two dogs from Kiba's mom's kennel. They're not here yet, but we've paid and signed the paperwork and they're just waiting for us to finish the living room."

Which would be done by the end of the day. It may or may not have been part of the reason why she decided to skip university and stay home. The feature wall was put up and the first coat of paint had been done yesterday and all it needed was a second coat before it was done.

Sasuke smirked at that, amused. "Good. I don't know if he told you or not, but Itachi wanted a dog when we were kids – they wouldn't let him have one, though, because apparently they're too dangerous to be around young children."

She snorted at that. Her boyfriend had said something similar to their excuse, though it did surprise her that Itachi had wanted a dog growing up. He'd never mentioned it to her before.

"Will you be back for Obito and Rin's wedding?" asked Naruto, once again shoving her out of his way in his excitement to talk more with Sasuke. "It's May 12th. You can even bring a date, you know."

Just as she had moments before, Sasuke snorted. "Don't count on it. I'll be there, but I won't be bringing anyone."

The pair of them frowned, dismayed. "Why not?" Sakura questioned. "I'm sure there's loads of girls out there throwing themselves at you."

Dark eyes rolled. "That doesn't really matter when you don't want any of them, does it?"

Her pout grew more pronounced. "Yeah but my date will be Itachi and Naruto's will be Hinata-"

"But you'll definitely be there, right?"

The pout changed into a scowl as she was rudely cut off by Naruto, who didn't even spare her a glance as he focused on the screen of the laptop. What the hell was his problem? It wasn't like they were never going to see Sasuke again and only had two minutes to say everything they needed to say. They would see him during half term, when university would be over for a couple of weeks and he returned to Konoha.

She wasn't given long to think about her anger or allow it to grow because Sasuke sighed. "Obviously."

That put a smile on her face.

Due to the whole passing out and finding out she was pregnant problem, Rin had very selflessly put off shopping for the bridesmaids' dresses until she was feeling up to it, although would be going out with friends to purchase her wedding gown. That was only fair. As sad as it was not to be a part of that experience, the whole world couldn't stop just because she was having problems.

"Why aren't either you at university?" he questioned after a pause. "It's Monday."

The conversation following the question was pretty casual after that, with a few questions and answers, followed by an accusation or two and then gossip (filling Sasuke in on all he'd been missing while out there in Suna). Even though it was pretty dull, however, Naruto didn't stop smiling and it aided in lifting her own mood. It wasn't often that they got to video call Sasuke, mainly due to the time difference, so when they did, they made sure that all three of them was a part of it.

Sitting back in her seat, Sakura regarded Naruto as he rooted through her refrigerator, whooping to himself when he found one of his favourite drinks. She didn't have it in her to yell at him to put it back (while usually she couldn't stand the smell of the stuff, let alone the taste, she'd been having strange cravings for those orange fizzy drinks as of late – telling herself that the amount of sugar in them was ridiculous, but okay for her during the pregnancy). They hadn't had the chance to have a catch up and the pregnancy was partly to blame. With everything else blowing up and the pregnancy being right in the middle of it all, it'd been difficult to sit down and chat about their lives and how things were going.

"Man, it's good talkin' to him, isn't it, Sakura-chan?" Naruto was still grinning as he fell back into his seat, feet up on the table and she wondered if he had cheek strain yet.

Shoving his feet off her brand new kitchen table, Sakura levelled him with a warning glower, daring him to so much as contemplate trying such a move again. "Yeah, it's strange not being able to just call him whenever I need his help," she replied and then sighed. "Or when I just want to talk to him."

The grin finally simmered down and he sipped his drink slowly. "Time difference is a bitch."

It sure was, but for some odd reason, she got the feeling that that wasn't all that was wrong with Naruto. It went deeper than that, her heart told her and the not so swift change of subject when she brought Hinata up just wouldn't leave her alone.

"So," she began, smiling warmly. "How are things with Hinata going?" Leaning forward at the responding silence, a single eyebrow rose. "Naruto?"

"She's happy."

Her stomach twisted and for a brief moment, Sakura could have sworn she felt ill. "And are you? Are you happy, Naruto?"

A hand came to the back of his head as he tried to laugh her question off, clearly uneasy. It was in the way his eyes shut, stopping her from seeing how he was truly feeling and in the way he was once again trying to change the subject. "What's with all the questions, Sakura-chan? I think you need to get out more."

Oh, he would pay dearly for that comment later, but for the time being, it would remain ignored – at least until she got to the bottom of what was bothering him. "I thought you said we loved each other?"

Growing serious, he lowered his hand, bright blue eyes opening and gazing at her seriously. "Yeah, we do."

"Then why won't you tell me the truth?" Sakura asked softly, frowning. "You don't keep things from the people you love, do you?"

Yet again, Naruto averted his eyes, deciding on instead staring out of the kitchen window and he placed the can onto the table. Part of her wondered how old she really was, as she instantly grabbed the can and put it onto a coaster, worried about rings. "It's not working."

"What isn't?" Why wouldn't he look at her?

"…With Hinata."

What?

What?

"Eh?" Sakura tilted her head to the side and the frown deepened. "Things aren't working out?"

Naruto's head fell into his hands, his elbows resting on the table. "It sounds horrible when said out loud."

"I don't understand…" A pause. "I thought you were happy together?"

Concern made her reach out to him when Naruto didn't reply, when he kept his head in his hands, hiding his expression from her. It wasn't until she stood up and made her way over to him that he finally sat up, only to hug her around her middle, resting his face on her slightly swollen stomach. Sighing, she raised a hand and ran it softly through his hair, trying to comfort him. He didn't want her to see him upset – he never had. In his eyes, he had to be the tough one.

"It feels forced, Sakura-chan," he admitted quietly. "I still love her and I'm still attracted to her, but…"

Realisation made her heart feel heavy. "But you're not in love with her."

When her shirt became wet, her heavy heart broke and Sakura pulled away, only to kneel down to embrace him properly. There was a sob when he fell from his chair and to his knees to join her, one that shook his body, but he smothered it with her shoulder.

"I don't wanna hurt her," Naruto whispered, voice cracking under the strain of his emotions. "Hinata's the nicest person I've ever met."

Even her own eyes were beginning to sting. "It'll hurt her even more if you don't say something now, rather than later."

Apparently he already knew that, because Naruto didn't disagree with her and instead held on tighter. "I don't… I don't get it!"

"You can't understand love, Naruto," Sakura soothed as best as she could. "It's so complicated and unpredictable."

"I just want her to be happy," he muttered hoarsely. "I can't make her happy by only being attracted to her."

That was true and it also wasn't fair to Hinata, either. Sakura was happy that Naruto felt like he could be so open with her, but her chest ached something vicious for the unsuspecting Hyuuga. However, it would hurt her even more if Naruto only stayed with her because he found her attractive and didn't want to break her heart.

She could remember the day when he first told Sakura that he wanted Hinata, the day where she introduced the pair of them. They'd been in the library and she had been finishing off her homework and the two of them had been so awkward together that it had been adorable. After that, they were more or less attached at the hip. She'd been so certain that he was in love with her, because he looked at her like she was his entire world, but…

Oh, it was so scary how quickly a person could fall out of love.

He sniffed loudly, trying to compose himself, but it wasn't happening any time soon. It didn't annoy her. Her best friend was in pain and so she gladly comforted him. The sudden opening of the front door had him pulling away quickly, however, and wiping at his eyes, keeping his gaze away from whoever had entered. It was Itachi, followed closely by a grinning Tenma. They were back earlier than she'd thought, though one glance at the clock on the wall told her it was way past two already. How long had they been speaking to Sasuke? Jeez.

She tried her best to return it, really she did, but she was too concerned about Naruto. Turning to him, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Go and sit in the bedroom for a bit, if you want. I'll follow in just a second."

Naruto only nodded, keeping his head low so that the other two men couldn't see his tear-stained face and once the bedroom door was shut, Sakura sighed and stood up, thanking and greeting her boyfriend with a tired smile when he helped her stand.

"Everything okay?" Tenma asked, his eyes following after the blond even though he was already gone.

"Yeah, he's just a bit upset about something." Looking to Itachi, she asked, "Is something wrong? Why are you back so early?"

"No, our lecture finished earlier than usual," he replied and she could see the questioning concern in his eyes. It warmed her heart that he was worried about Naruto. "Tenma and I were about to head into town and I wanted to know if you would like to join us."

It was clear that Itachi already knew her answer, but Sakura replied negatively anyway, "Naruto could really do with a friend right now."

"Don't worry, maybe next time, right?" said Tenma with a smile. When she nodded, he then told her, "I'll make sure Itachi picks up a load of stuff for you, too."

She smiled and once more glanced to her boyfriend, her smiling widening briefly when he moved to embrace her. He pulled away, though kept one hand on her stomach as he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. It seemed being with his friend had brought him out of that head of his, much to her gratefulness.

"I will see you shortly."

"Have a good time," Sakura told them both, waving after them as they turned back out the door and left.

Over the past couple of weeks, she'd been seeing Tenma more and more often, though Itachi obviously saw more of him. It made her so happy that he was making friends like an ordinary man his age, even with his struggles and responsibilities. Tenma was a good guy, too. He'd helped out a few times throughout the moving process and even helped Itachi decorate the kitchen and bathroom.

Grabbing his drink, Sakura finally followed Naruto into her bedroom, unsurprised to find him sitting on her bed with his head in his hands, still hiding his face from her. Honestly, he'd seen her at her absolute worst and continued to stand by her side and support her, so a few tears weren't going to change her opinion of him any time soon. Saying that, however, she knew it was his pride that had him hiding the tears from her. Many followed the belief that men weren't supposed to cry – she didn't, of course. Everyone needed a good cry every so often. Gods knew she had plenty of those times.

"What's been happening?" she asked after a moment, placing the can onto her bedside table (on a coaster, of course). "What makes you think it's not working?"

"It's just not," he muttered, voice muffled by his hands. "I shouldn't be more excited to play a game online with Sasuke than spending time with Hinata, should I?"

No, he shouldn't, but in Naruto's defence, he'd gone from seeing Sasuke every single day since they started high school, to seeing him a couple of times every few months. "Maybe it's just a rough patch? I've been through a few of them with Itachi-"

"But we're not like you and Itachi," came his stressed reply, sounding more like a whine. Damn it, she wished that he'd take his hands away from his face already. "You guys are solid. All the crazy shit going on just brings you closer together and I… I couldn't care less about the way her family feels about me – not because of the way I feel for her, but because I just don't care enough to argue about it, even when Hinata begs me to go and meet them."

…Whereas Naruto was always willing to go head-to-head with Fugaku and put the man in his place, regardless of the fact that he was the chief of the police. If he hurt Sasuke – hell, Itachi or Shisui, too – then Naruto would tear into him without hesitating. She wondered if it would be the same for her own parents, but he'd never had the unfortunate experience of meeting them and hopefully never would.

"You haven't met her family yet?" It shocked her, in all honesty.

"No."

Sighing, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder and brought him closer, allowing Naruto to lean on her. "Then what now? What are you going to do?"

A miserable groan was her only response for a few minutes until eventually, he murmured, "I'm gonna try and make more of an effort. We've… been together for nearly a year, y'know? It'll upset her."

Correction: it would devastate Hinata, but she kept that part to herself.


The sound of her phone ringing awoke her and Sakura frowned sleepily, debating on ignoring it entirely. Growing a human was exhausting, so she felt absolutely no shame in taking a nap when she should have been painting the living room.

It was on the twelfth ring (a record for her, surely) that she gave up and sighed, blindly reaching out for the loudly ringing phone, sliding it open and pressing it to her ear.

"Hello?" she mumbled, eyes already shutting again.

"Sakura."

The voice had green eyes opening, exhausted forgotten. Why did he sound breathless? "Shisui-san?"

"Are you sitting down?"

What a ridiculous question! Even so, why did it tie her stomach in knots? "Why?"

"Turn on the news."

Numbly, she grabbed the television remote, cursing to herself at the fact that she had to wait for a few moments until it switched on, allowing her to flick over to the news channel for her town.

What she saw made her knotted stomach drop.

A young woman was on screen, features solemn and behind her was… It was carnage. A massacre, even and what was that scene?

Their town centre.

Itachi!

There were body bags in the background behind the woman, along with so much blood that it made her feel physically sick, because it was so obvious that it wasn't only belonging to one person (that and the body bags, unless somebody managed to miss them somehow). It was splattered up the walls of the stores, poured out onto the floor, windows were smashed and the cars were left abandoned.

Had she been standing, her legs would have given out on her and she now understood why Shisui asked if she was sitting down.

"Sixty-four are confirmed to be dead, while there are hundreds who are injured," the reported informed her.

Sixty-four…

Tears filled her eyes and belatedly, Sakura remembered she was on the phone. "Sh-Shisui-san, is Itachi…?"

"No, he's alive, but, Sakura…" Dread filled her. "Tenma-san, the man who was with Itachi, didn't make it."


The news report stated that a crazed psychopath had opened fire on the unsuspecting shoppers, allegedly laughing manically as he did so and after hearing that, all Sakura was able to hear was Hidan's laugh. It had always bugged her; it had always sounded a little unhinged. Merely thinking that he could be involved in such a horrific thing terrified her, because it meant that he truly didn't care about how precious life was. It meant he didn't care who got caught in his madness. Pensioners, pregnant women and children had been…

Gods, she just… It wasn't sinking in. It didn't feel real. Every day, she heard stories about those kinds of things happening to different towns such as Oto or the rougher areas of Suna, but Konoha? Konoha was supposed to be a safe place. Fugaku, despite being a dick, had made sure of that, lowering their crime rate to an all-time low.

Kakashi gave her a lift to the hospital without hesitation, having been called into work even though it was his day off and when they got there, the hospital was in uproar. Bodies littered the waiting area and the halls, blood pouring from their wounds and a quiet sob left her at the sight of a mother clutching her dying children closely to her, praying out loud.

Doctors and nurses were rushing around, doing their best to see to everyone there, but they weren't magicians. The dead bodies slumped against walls solidified that thought, rooting her in her spot.

Was this really the type of job she wanted in the future? A job where she would constantly be surrounded by death and suffering?

The atmosphere was heavy, weighing down on them all and it was such a strong sense of helplessness that it felt as though it was crushing her. Kakashi wrapped an arm around her shoulders wordlessly and directed her towards the lifts, only to sigh when they saw it was on the top level. Her legs itched to move, to take her in the direction of the entrance and run until she was far away from all the pain and death, but her heart was keeping her there, longing to see Itachi and make sure to see for herself that he was safe, that he was alive and…

Both of Kakashi's arms wrapped around her when her legs suddenly gave out on her, pulling her to his chest as she sobbed brokenly. There was a quiet hushing sound, followed by a gentle hand running through her hair, trying to soothe her, but all Sakura could focus on was the heartbreak surrounding her. Gods, it was… It was indescribable and the sounds. The cries of pain, the wails of loss and the groans of suffering…

Her hands gripped Kakashi tightly, body shaking with a sob.

A soft cough of someone clearing their throat had the man glancing over his shoulder, but Sakura was too lost in her sorrow to look at whoever had interrupted them, though found out moments later that it was Shisui. Eventually, when she managed to look at him, she wished she hadn't. His uniform was all but drenched and in her heart, she knew it was with blood, even though the blackness of the uniform didn't show the red stains. Vaguely, Sakura wondered how long it would take for the stains to come off his hands and out from under his nails.

"Itachi-san?"

There was a deep sigh. "Maternity ward."

Maternity ward? Were they that desperate for room?

Another sigh. "It seems to calm him."

Kakashi went to help her, but after taking a moment to collect herself, she gently pulled away and smiled tiredly up at him when he wiped away the remains of her tears. Thankfully, he understood that going to Itachi was something she needed to do alone, especially if he was upset – which he would be. His friend…

"I'll keep my phone on loud," Kakashi told her. "If either of you need anything, just call."

Shisui nodded. "I will do the same."

She smiled at that, thanking the pair of them before dragging herself up the stairs and following the directions that would lead her to the maternity ward.

Much to her relief, there were no lifeless bodies or people bleeding out. It was like the entire ward was a place of purity, where bad things didn't happen (she knew they did, that women lost their babies and whatnot, but it felt like such a beautiful place) and in that moment, she understood exactly why Itachi would go to the maternity ward. It wasn't only to get away from the horrors on every other floor, it was to experience the joy and purity of the innocent new lives.

Slowly, Sakura walked to one of the windows and gazed inside of the room. There were several rows of cribs and the majority of them held babies, while some were empty, either waiting to be filled or temporarily empty due to parents wanting to hold their newborns. With a tenderness even she didn't know she possessed, her fingertips grazed the glass, eyes softening.

She'd never been against babies and would never say that they didn't warm her heart, that their smiles didn't make her stomach flutter with happiness and their laughs didn't make her smile widely in return. She was, however, positively terrified at the mere thought of having one herself and the incident from only hours ago strengthened that fear. How was she supposed to care for a child in such a horrific world? How could she look after a baby, someone who was so helpless and defenceless, when she could barely take care of herself?

Sakura stared down at the babies. They were either crying or sleeping – there was no in between with them and the nurses seemed to be rushed off their feet, greeting the parents of the newborns almost gratefully. No doubt that even they'd been called down to help out with the horror show downstairs.

A hand came to her shoulder, causing her to jolt in surprise until she glanced up and saw her boyfriend.

She threw herself at him.

"I'm so glad you're okay." When he merely nodded, Sakura looked up at him, frowning. "Itachi?"

"Tenma is dead."

His voice was hollow, features blank and bloody and it caused bile to rise in her throat at the sight of so much blood on him. What really struck her, however, was the fact that Itachi couldn't look her in the eye, almost appearing as though he was lost in a world of his own as he watched the babies.

"Itachi, I'm so sorry," Sakura whispered earnestly.

Tenma had become such a close friend to him and whenever he'd been over at the apartment, he'd always been pleasant towards her, asking if she needed anything. Regardless of his attitude towards Itachi's intelligence, he had always been nice and respectful towards her. He had even helped Itachi out when Danzo had her shoved in his car for a 'ride home'.

Her heart broke for her boyfriend.

"He… saved me," Itachi confided in her and his eyebrows knitted together, stunning her as tears filled his eyes. "Tenma noticed the gunman and threw himself in front of me. He said I have too much to live for." Dark eyes drifted to hers and she felt her own tears forming at the sight of his pain. "He believed my life had more purpose than his own… but it doesn't."

She couldn't disagree with him, not when he was grieving for the loss of his first true (unrelated) friend. So, her arms once more wrapped around his waist and she pressed her forehead to his chest. The small swelling of her stomach was painfully obvious to them both and it seemed to comfort Itachi having it there, because just as one arm wrapped around her, his other hand gently touched her stomach.

And then his shoulders shook and her heart broke as the tears slipped down his cheeks, as he gritted his teeth to fight back the sobs trying their damned hardest to escape.


A/N - Changed internet providers and omg it's amazing. Pages and videos are actually loading now and my connection isn't dropping every couple of minutes! I can catch up on Naruto and Dragonball Super now. The videos are fully loaded within seconds of clicking them!