Disclaimer: I own nothing.


Chapter Twelve- I'm Not Listening

"Maybe I'm a different breed
Maybe I'm not listening"


In the end, all Rick can say was that he tried. He tried to believe his best friend was on his side. Tried to believe his wife had been faithful to him. Rick tried to believe that Shane was a good man. He tried to trust Shane.

He tried and he failed.

Failed so hard that it was ridiculous.

It started after Shane had taken over watch from Rick. The latter had lain awake, contemplating the Randall situation. When he first heard the shuffling, it hadn't fully registered. The muffled curse was what finally drew his full attention. Rick bolted to his feet, went for his gun and listened. After a moment of silence, he ducked into the hallway and slipped out the door, past the others sleeping in their units.

He could see nothing that posed a threat. But he also didn't see Shane at his guard post. So he turned and walked to the unit Randall had been kept in and found it empty.

"Shit," he cursed. "Daryl," he called softly tapping on the wall. Quietly, he then roused Sam and Dean.

"What's going on?" a sleepy Andrea asked, stepping into the hall.

"Randall is gone, Shane isn't on watch. Something's happened," Rick said.

"What do you want us to do?" Sam asked. "Its pitch black out there, no way we're gonna find them."

"We have to," Rick replied. "I need Daryl in the woods with me, he's the best tracker. But I need someone to stay here and keep watch."

"I'll stay," Sam volunteered quickly.

"I'm with Rick," Andrea chimed in.

They all looked at Dean. "Into the woods we go," he said, rubbing his sleepy eyes. They split up to get their weapons then.

"Dean?" Castiel asked from his corner. "What's going on?"

"Randall escaped, apparently taking Shane with him," Dean told him.

"And you're going to look for them," he stated knowingly, his eyes fixed on Dean's back.

"Yes." He focused hard on tying his boots then.

"Dean." Castiel waited for Dean to look at him for just a moment. "What are you going to do when you find him?"

The hunter shrugged. "Find out when I find his ass." He stood, tucking his gun into his thigh holster and wielding his blade.

"Remember what I told you." His blue eyes bore into Dean's. "Be careful."

Dean didn't need him to say anything else; he knew exactly what the angel meant. He turned and went to join the others. They had just reached the fence when Shane exited the woods, looking a little worse for wear.

"What happened?" Rick demanded.

"Son of a bitch got loose, caught me off guard," Shane responded breathlessly, pointing to a wound on the side of his head. "Ran off in the woods, I tried to follow him but I couldn't keep up. I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out. I'm not sure how long."

"He couldn't have gotten far," Rick said. "He's hobbled, exhausted."

"And armed," Andrea reminded him.

"So are we," Dean cut in.

"Rick?" Lori called out behind them. "What's happening?"

Rick turned to see her standing with Carol and a shaken looking Maggie. "Randall escaped, we're going to look for him. Just keep everyone inside until we get back." She started to say something but Rick turned to Daryl. "Can you track him?"

"No, I don't see nothing," Daryl said, shaking his head.

"Hey, look, there ain't no use in tracking him, okay? He went that way.
We need to pair up," Shane snapped. "We spread out, we just chase him down.
That's it."

"Kid weighs a buck-25 soaking wet," Daryl started, eyeing Shane. "You trying to tell us he got the jump on you?"

"I say a rock pretty much evens those odds, wouldn't you?" Shane shot back.

"Alright, knock it off," Rick cut in. "You, Andrea and Dean start heading up the right flank. Me and Shane'll take the left. Remember, Randall's not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other."

The group split up then, treading carefully.

"This is pointless." Andrea sniped after tripping over a log. "You got a light?"

"Come on," Daryl snapped.

"We're just back to square one," she said, looking around and recognizing the spot.

"If you're gonna do something, you might as well do it right," Daryl told her.

"There's two sets of tracks right here," Dean supplied.

"Shane must've followed him a lot longer than he said," Andrea said.

"There's fresh blood on this tree," Daryl pointed out. "There's more tracks.
Looks like they're walking in tandem." He knelt down. "Yeah, there was a little dust up right here."

"What do you mean?" Andrea asked.

"I mean something went down," he told her.

"This is getting weird," she mused.

The trio snapped to attention when they heard a branch snap, Andrea spotted him first, quickly drawing her knife and plunging it into his skull. "It's Randall," she announced and the men instantly appeared next to her as she knelt down. "He's got no bites."

"Yeah, none that you can see," Daryl told her.

"No, I'm telling you, he died from this." She pointed at his neck. "How's that possible?"

Dean's heart dropped into his stomach, he had a feeling he knew exactly how that was possible.


"Does this way feel right?" Rick asked.

"As right as any," Shane replied.

"Snatched your gun, huh?"

"Yeah," Shane answered. "It's my favorite piece too. Gonna wish he'd- Wish he'd killed me when I find his sorry ass."

"You say he got you with a rock?"

"That's what I said," he confirmed.

"Inside the units? He find a rock in there?"

"Guess so. Place is filled with all kind of junk."

Rick tired of the flimsy story. "So this is where you planned to do it?" he asked, looking around at the small clearing.

"It's a good place as any." Shane shrugged.

"At least have the balls to call this what it is- Murder." Rick stared at Shane, who didn't seem to have an answer for him. "You really believe if you walk back into those units alone- no me, no Randall-"

"I want you to hush up," Shane tried to cut in.

"You really believe they're gonna buy whatever bullshit story you cook up?" Rick went on.

"That's just it," Shane said simply. "It ain't no story. I saw that prisoner shoot you down. I ran after him. I snapped his neck. It ain't gonna be easy, but Lori and Carl- They'll get over you. They done it before. They just gonna have to."

"Why?" Rick asked, feeling himself fill with a mixture of anger and disbelief and a little sadness. "Why now? I thought we worked this all out."

"We tried to kill each other, man," Shane snapped. "What you think? We just gonna forget about it all? We gonna ride off into the sunset together?"

"You're gonna kill me in cold blood?" Rick shot back. "Screw my wife? Have my children- my children- call you daddy? Is that what you want? That life won't be worth a damn. I know you. You won't be able to live with this."

"What you know about what I can live with? You got no idea what I can live with, what I live with! You wanna talk about what I can do, Rick? How about what you can do?" He pointed his gun at Rick.

Rick spread his arms. "Here I am."

"Come on, man. Raise your gun."

"No," Rick said. "No, I will not."

"What happened, Rick? I thought you weren't the good guy anymore.
Ain't that what you said? Even right here, right now, you ain't gonna fight for 'em? I'm a better father than you, Rick. I'm better for Lori than you, man. It's 'cause I'm a better man than you, Rick. 'Cause I can be here and I'll fight for it. You come back here and you just destroy everything! You got a broken woman. You got a weak boy. You ain't got the first clue on how to fix it. Raise your gun."

Rick shook his head. "You're gonna have to kill an unarmed man." He slowly reached for his gun. "Watch my hand. Nice and easy. Easy does it." He placed his gun on the ground between them. "Now listen to me, Shane. There is still a way back from this. Nothing has happened here," he said, trying to smooth things over still. Though he could see his words weren't getting through. "We're gonna lay down our guns and we're gonna walk back to the group. Together. Back to Lori. Back to Carl. Put this all behind us."

But it was too late. Shane's gun went off just as Rick stabbed him. The bullet hit the ground but Rick's knife found a home in his chest.

"Shh," he hushed his friend, laying him on the ground. . "Damn you for making me do this, Shane. This was you, not me! You did this to us! This was you, not me- not me! Not me!"


"Rick?" Andrea's voice reached his ears and it was only then he realized he was still hunched over Shane's body, weeping. He stood and turned around to find Andrea, Daryl and Dean watching him. The two men seemed to understand the situation right away but Andrea seemed stunned. "What happened?" she breathed.

"He tried to kill me," Rick said, his voice thick with tears. He cleared his throat a few times before he could speak again. "Led me out here to kill me." He wiped his face. "Did you find Randall?"

"Dead," Daryl answered shortly.

Rick just nodded. He was about to say something else when he saw Andrea raise her gun, seemingly pointed at him. Before he could protest she fired off one shot. Rick spun to see Shane's body just a foot away from him, eyes clouded over.

The other three approached him then. "Was he bitten?" Dean asked, though his tone implied he already knew the answer.

"No," Rick said. "He wasn't."

They shared a look before heading back to the group.


"What happened?" Lori demanded as soon as the group emerged from the trees. "We heard shots."

"Walkers," Andrea tried.

"Don't patronize me," Lori snapped at her. "Only two shots?"

"Where's Randall?" Carol asked, noticing his absence. "And Shane?"

"Dead," Rick announced.

Silence fell on the group then. Lori's eyes filled with tears. "How?" she choked out, quickly wiping her eyes, hoping Rick didn't see.

"Shane killed Randall," Dean explained. "We found his body, his neck had been broken."

"And what happened to Shane?" Lori pressed.

"I killed him," Rick said, his voice sounding hollow. The group almost recoiled from him. "He led me out, away from the others. And he tried to kill me, I got to him first. That was the first shot you heard."

"He didn't have a choice," Andrea chimed in.

"You saw him do it?" Lori hissed.

"We saw it happen through the trees," Andrea admitted. "Rick put his gun on the ground and Shane still shot at him."

Rick was mortified and furious that she, Dean and Daryl had witnessed Shane's execution but he didn't say anything. After a moment he felt almost glad to have witnesses that could vouch for the fact that he had tried to get Shane to back down.

Carol shook her head. The others seemed to be in a state of disbelief, unable to process what they'd been told. Lori had started to back away from the group. Rick reached for her but she slapped his hand away before hurrying inside.

Slowly, the group began to disperse, going back to their units. Rick could hear his name whispered all around.

Dean appeared at his side. "You did what you had to do," he told Rick. "Like Andrea said, it was you or him."

"Thanks," Rick replied softly. "I didn't want to do it."

"He didn't give you the option, I know." He clapped his hand on Rick's shoulder and walked away. Daryl gave him a nod as he passed, Andrea tried a small smile. Strangely, Rick felt relieved.


Sophia's screams caught everyone's attention.

"Walkers!" Andrea called.

They were coming from the woods, hundreds of them, maybe a thousand. The group forced themselves into action. Andrea, Sam and Dean began picking off the ones closest to the fence.

"We can't stay here," Daryl said to Rick. They could clearly see the seemingly never ending wave of walkers heading toward them.

Rick began shouting for them to save bullets. "Everyone get inside, we can close the shutters and go out the front doors! Daryl, you, Carol and Maggie get the cars meet us at the front door."

Daryl started off toward the vehicles but Maggie hesitated. "What about Glenn?"

"We'll get him, don't worry," Rick assured her.

It was a rush of motion then as the group tried to collect their belongings and rush to the front entrance. Glenn was placed in a wheelchair they had scrounged from somewhere and pushed by Beth to the front. Hershel hurried alongside, keeping an eye on his daughter and his patient.

When the group reached the front, the walkers had already started pouring around the side of the building. Rick began opening doors and herding people into cars, pausing to help Hershel lift Glenn into the SUV. Hershel took a step back, hands closed over his calf and teeth sank into his flesh. He screamed.

Rick swung his knife into the walker's head, feeling a bullet whiz past him as Maggie fired from the front seat. Then Castiel was there, assisting Rick. They lifted Hershel into the back seat.

"You can save him," Cas said. "But you have to do it quick." He was kneeling next to Hershel's head as Maggie sped off. Glenn said something from the passenger seat but Rick didn't hear. The car rocked and rolled over something before they reached smooth ground.

Rick had already pulled his belt free and looped it around Hershel's leg as a tourniquet. Castiel put his hands on either side of Hershel's head, but Rick didn't notice. He raised his axe and let it drop swiftly. When it was over Cas helped him stop the bleeding.

Maggie finally pulled over and turned around to check on her father, who was unconscious but stable. "Where do we go?" she calmly asked Rick, tears still wet on her face.

The leader sat up and looked out the window. He got out of the car to meet with the others.


The preschool was dark, cold and too near the road to be a permanent home. Rick tried to ignore the glares and fearful glances as he paced the rooms. His own wife was glaring at him for the choice he made. It was killing him, what he'd done but it was too late to go back and change it.

Daryl was looking over a map with Sam and Dean. Rick went to join them, realizing they were the only ones who didn't look at him differently. This made him even more curious about Sam and Dean, but now wasn't the time to pry.

"Any ideas?" he asked, voice hoarse.

Daryl shook his head bitterly. "Can't stay here long," he said, though everyone knew this already. "All those cars out front will be like a beacon to anyone looking for someone. Who knows what kind of attention we'll draw."

"You're right," Rick agreed.

Dean stood up. "Sleep on it," he said with a shrug then went to go sit next to Cas. "You okay?"

"I am," Cas said. "Why?"

"Just wondering." He shrugged again. "All your talk about us keeping our humanity and you don't have anything to say about Rick killing Shane? Hard to believe."

"It wasn't just talk," Castiel said firmly. "I mean it. What happened out there is a shining example of it. Shane lost his humanity and forced Rick into killing him. I can see that Rick is a good man, he killed someone and it's haunting him."

"Well, Shane was his best friend," Dean said.

"Precisely my point."

Dean sat in silence. "I know what you mean. You think we'll all lose ourselves and end up like Shane?"

"It is entirely possible." Cas looked at him. "Fight for your humanity, Dean, not your life. The wrong choice could cost you more than just your life."

Dean looked up at his ominous words but couldn't seem to find a response.


She walked without fear. Her high heeled boots clicked on the pavement with every step she took. It was the only sound in the empty town. She stopped outside a two story white house, smirking at the marking on the windows.

Her leather jacket creaked as she leaned down, picked up a rock and heaved it at the side of the house, careful not to break the window. A face appeared behind the glass a moment later. She raised her hand and waved.

The boy pushed his eyebrows together and opened the window just a crack.

She stepped up onto the grass and spoke loud enough for him to hear. "Open the door, Kevin, I'm here to help you."


A/N: Long time no see, right? I don't really like this chapter but it's an awkward part of the story and I couldn't get around it.

~JLL