12

Sheldon shut the door behind the last of his friends with an exhalation of relief. Thank God this day is almost over, he thought, only to turn around to see Amy standing expectantly in the middle of what was now her living room. He wasn't sure he could deal with one more thing. He'd managed to escape to his room for about a half an hour as his friends conversed, but it wasn't long before Amy had been knocking on his door, making him rejoin the gathering. If this was the kind of nagging she was going to be doing, maybe he should try convincing her to hang onto her apartment.

Actually, he wondered why he hadn't insisted on keeping living arrangements being as they'd been. Just because he and Amy were married didn't mean they had to live together. After all, their joining was just for the sake of propriety. His mother and Meemaw were in Texas. They'd never know if he and Amy co-habitated or not.

Still, there was the issue of him keeping an eye on her. He'd heard tales of debilitating nausea associated with pregnancy. What if she was incapable of caring for herself and their future Homo Novus? He couldn't risk Amy's health simply because he didn't want to live with her. Taking care of each other was in the Marriage Agreement as it had been in the Relationship Agreement. Amy being in the same apartment would be easier than trying to make his way to hers. Damn the logic! He'd put his foot down about cutesy answering machine messages, though.

"It was a nice party," Amy ventured. She stood with her palms on her thighs, rocking slightly. He noticed the movement, but had no clue what it meant. The yellow dress clung to her bosom and torso, filling out into a fuller skirt that fell below her knees. It revealed more skin than he was used to seeing Amy display, and he felt his palms growing damp just looking at her. He knew what her skin was like. How soft she was. He'd tried so hard to forget what she'd felt like under his hands, but his memory wouldn't let him forget. It haunted him.

"Maybe you should change out of your dress," he said, walking quickly past her towards the kitchen.

Amy's voice was even lower than normal. "What would you like me to change into?"

Fiddling with the tea box, Sheldon looked up in surprise. "Why your normal clothes, of course. That dress doesn't look very comfortable."

Amy looked down at her outfit. "No, it's actually quite comfortable. I might take my hair down, though." She reached up, removing the tiara, then the pins, shaking her hair out until it cascaded over her bare shoulders. Good grief, Sheldon thought. All she needs is a slow-motion camera and she could star in some tawdry afternoon romance on Lifetime.

Amy stood there, as if she expected him to do something, but he didn't know what that was. Turning his attention back to his tea, Sheldon didn't notice her leave the room until he heard the sound of what used to be Leonard's door shutting. She hadn't slammed it, but her sudden disappearance gave him the impression she was dissatisfied. He didn't know why. He'd done everything she'd asked of him and then some. Kissing her! In public! Sheldon shook his head. The things I won't do for that woman.

Sheldon continued to fuss with his tea. If Leonard was here he would have made my tea, he thought sullenly. But Leonard wasn't there. He lived across the hall. And Amy now lived in his friend's room. He wasn't happy, and he gathered Amy wasn't either.

This had been a mistake. It had all been a mistake. Maybe they could get the marriage annulled. After all, he didn't see them consummating their union. Although, wouldn't her pregnancy be proof of their conjugal congress? If a couple had pre-marital sex did it count towards a true marriage if they didn't have sex after the ceremony? He'd have to look into that.

Sheldon dunked his teabag three times in the mug before draping the tag over the right side of the handle. Staring at the darkening liquid, he was still plagued by feelings of inadequacy. He should be trying to make Amy feel welcome, and he hadn't done a very good job of that. His mother would be horrified at his lack of manners. Perhaps he should offer her a hot beverage as well.

He didn't want to talk to her. Somehow she'd make him feel bad because he hadn't done something she expected of him. Lately it seemed she always had expectations that weren't being met. Still, the thought of Amy being unhappy niggled at him and he wouldn't be able to relax until he knew she was okay. Sighing, Sheldon put down his mug and approached her door.

Tapping lightly, he hoped she'd gone to sleep, but after the third time he'd called her name, she bid him to enter. Opening the door, Sheldon peeked around, spying Amy lying on her back on top of her bed, hands folded across her stomach. She sat up, propping herself with her elbows behind her. She was still in her yellow dress and the sight of her bare shoulders and satin-clad bosom were wreaking havoc with his thought processes again. He just stared at her, wondering what it was he'd been about to ask her.

"Yes, Sheldon?" she questioned, staring back at him. He couldn't form a coherent thought. Why hadn't she put her normal clothes on? Why couldn't she cover herself up so he could think? Amy sat up, swinging her legs around so her feet were now on the floor. "Sit down," she commanded. "You look like you're about to faint."

Now that she mentioned it, he did feel rather light-headed. Besides the hors d'oeuvres Raj had served, he hadn't eaten much, and his blood sugar was likely low. Surely that was the problem and not Amy enticing him in that dress. Taking a seat on the bed as far from her as he could, Sheldon turned to face her.

"I was wondering if you'd care for a hot beverage. I realized I should have offered you one when I started making my tea, but you'd already come in here."

Amy colored slightly. "I needed a few minutes to gather my thoughts," she said, looking down at her hands resting on her thighs. It was then he noticed there were tear tracks at the corners of her eyes. As if she'd been crying while lying on her bed and gravity had pulled the liquid towards her ears. It had been a long time since he'd cried like that, but he remembered the feeling and it made his stomach hurt thinking Amy had been that upset. She stood then, moving around the room to the stack of boxes. She opened the top one, pulling books out and placing them haphazardly on an empty shelf.

"I should get these unpacked. The mess is driving me crazy."

Sheldon stood and took the stack of books from her hands. "And you not taking the time to organize them is driving me crazy."

"It's my room," she said defensively. "I can be as disorganized as I want."

"You don't have to put them all in here," he said. "There's space in the living room where Leonard's books used to be." He hadn't wanted the words to sound resentful, but from the way Amy flinched, he knew he hadn't succeeded. "But if you put them out there you'll have to put them in some kind of logical order."

"Fair enough." She looked at the books she held, then placed them back in the box. "I think I'll put them in the living room, but if I'm going to start unpacking, I should put on something I can get dirty." Amy looked expectedly at Sheldon as he stood there. Suddenly he realized she was waiting for him to leave, as visions of her naked body flashed through his mind.

"Oh!" he cried when it dawned on him he was staring. "Would you like a beverage?"

Amy smiled indulgently at him. "Some tea would be great," she said.

xxxxxx

Amy shook her head as Sheldon closed the door behind him. She hadn't planned on starting to unpack, but seeing as nothing else was likely to happen on her wedding night, she might as well. She'd indulged herself in a good cry, and felt better for it. Sheldon would never understand why she'd been so disappointed, and she could either get over it and try to move on, or wallow in her misery. This wasn't the first time he'd not gotten why she was upset and it wouldn't be the last. For better or worse.

Slipping the dress over her head, the light caught the new ring on her left hand. It was a plain titanium band which she approved of. She'd have to ask him how he picked it out, because often Sheldon was drawn to flashy, extravagant pieces, like his pocket watch.

Dressed in a skirt and blouse, sans cardigan, Amy joined Sheldon in the kitchen. He was tossing out his tea as she took a seat at the island. "What's wrong with your tea?"

Sheldon waved a dismissive hand. "It sat too long and was cold."

Puzzled, Amy asked, "Why didn't you just microwave it?"

"Amy! I'm surprised at you! You know it's not the same!" Personally, Amy didn't see the difference, but clearly he did. It was probably going to be one of those quirks she'd either tolerate or find adorable. At the moment she was leaning towards tolerate. Sheldon pulled a mug down for her and put a new tea bag in his cup, handing her the box for her to select her own flavor. As they waited for the water to heat, neither spoke and Amy wondered if it was always going to be this awkward. It had been the last time she'd tried living with him, but seeing as that had lasted all of two days, she couldn't base future events on that experience.

"We haven't discussed finances," she offered as a conversation topic, realizing they hadn't really talked about anything most couples covered in the dating/engagement process.

Sheldon blinked at her. "I assumed we would continue as Leonard and I had."

"And that was?"

"We divided everything by half. He had half of the refrigerator and cupboards. We'd total up rent, utilities and other household expenses and at the end of each month I presented him with a detailed invoice which he was given thirty days to pay."

Amy sat staring at him with her mouth hanging open. "Sheldon, we're married now, this isn't a business arrangement!"

"You don't have to remind me," he said, turning to the stove to retrieve the kettle.

"Well I'm not going to have you handing me an invoice each month with thirty day credit options!"

Sheldon poured water into each of their cups, his face set in an angry scowl. "Then what do you think is an equitable option?" Amy thought for a moment. She'd never had a roommate, even in college. Not for lack of trying, however. Apparently her reputation as being "odd" had preceded her, and any ads she'd placed looking for someone to share her apartments had gone unanswered.

"How about this," Amy suggested. "We each put a designated amount into a joint account which will be used for common household expenses. This would include rent, utilities, gas and maintenance for the car. . ."

"Wait a second! It's not my car!"

Amy gave him a hard stare. "And who do I end up driving around? I wouldn't spend so much on gas if I wasn't chauffeuring you to every train store in the greater Pasadena area!"

"Oh, so now it comes out. Nag, nag, nag. You never said anything about gas when we were dating. Now since we're married you're going to extort money for transportation from me?" Sheldon took his tea and left the kitchen, settling in his place on the sofa, reaching for the remote. "I never had to pay Leonard to drive me."

Amy stalked over to him, snatching the television controller and turned it off. "Well you should have! And if he continues to take you to work, you'll give him gas money. Out of your own funds!"

Looking up at her in disbelief, Sheldon gasped. "You can't be serious! You don't seem to realize it's a privilege to accompany me to my destination."

"A privilege? For us to take time out of our days to make sure you get where you're going?"

"Why, yes! It's always a benefit to be gifted with my wit and wisdom on the journey. Even Penny realizes that!"

Amy's hands were clenched into fists as she stood before him. How had they ended up arguing about driving when all she wanted to do was develop a reasonable budget? Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she ignored his last statement.

"Sheldon, this is getting us nowhere. All I wanted to do was find a way to make upkeep on the apartment equitable without having to be handed a bill at the end of the month!"

Sheldon glanced up at her then looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine," he said tersely. "What do you suggest?"

Picking up her tea, Amy joined him on the sofa. She took a sip, then faced him. "As I was saying, I think we should establish a joint account in which we put an equal amount of money. We'll pay common expenses from it," here she held up a hand to stop any forthcoming argument, "To be determined later, and things of a personal nature will continue to be paid for independently."

Sheldon seemed to be considering her proposal. "It sounds reasonable," he said, loosening his arms. "But we need to discuss this ridiculous notion you have about the car!"

"Fine," she huffed, too wrung out from the events of the day to continue quarreling. Amy turned to sit facing forward, taking another drink from her tea. She could feel Sheldon's gaze on her. Turning her head, she looked over at him. "What?"

"Amy," he said, no longer looking as intractable as he had moments ago. "I don't like it when we fight."

"That wasn't really a fight, Sheldon. We had a disagreement. I'm sure we'll have more."

"It felt like a fight," he said, quietly. His arms had moved down to encircle his abdomen. "It makes my stomach hurt. Like when I was a child and my parents argued. Most of the time it was about me," he added. Suddenly, Amy wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms. She knew the feeling all too well. Her own parents had argued enough over how to raise her, and she felt the same clench in her stomach Sheldon was no doubt experiencing.

"Sheldon? Would it be okay if I gave you a consoling hug?"

He hesitated, then agreed. "All right. But not too tight!"

Amy set her tea down on the coffee table, not sure how she should go about putting her arms around him. It was so rare he allowed her to touch him that the movement was jerky and awkward. Finally, her arms settled around his shoulders and she pulled him closer. His head rested lightly on her shoulder for less time than she would have liked before he pulled away.

"I'm better now. Thank you." Releasing him, Amy cleared her throat and reached for her tea. Taking a drink as a means of distraction, she found she couldn't look at him. The moment had been more intimate than she'd expected and she was nervous. Where would they go from here? Would he say something crass in light of his own discomfort?

What he did say wasn't what she was expecting.

"We need to call my mother."

"What? Right now?" Glancing at the clock she noted it was four o'clock, which would make it late prevening in Texas. It wasn't too late for a phone call, but she thought they'd talk about what they were going to say to their respective parents before jumping into it.

Sheldon's head was hung in dejection. "I don't want to, but the longer we put it off the harder it's going to be. I thought perhaps the post-wedding euphoria would make it easier."

Amy simply stared at him. This was post-wedding euphoria? What constituted unease? "Your mother is not the only one who's going to be upset we snuck off and got married. You don't have to tell yours you're pregnant."

His head snapped up. "But I have to tell her I was the one who got you pregnant!"

Taking a deep breath, Amy tried to wrap her head around the convoluted conversation they'd been having. In a span of minutes they'd fought about money, fighting in general, and telling their mothers they'd essentially eloped. Was his mind always this mercurial and she'd just never noticed?

"Sheldon, we're not going to argue over which parent is going to be more embarrassed by our behavior. Suffice it to say, neither one is going to be particularly proud of us." As if on cue, both took a drink from their mugs at the same time. "I believe we should alert both our mothers of our marriage, but for the moment, not mention the baby. Perhaps in a week we can let them know, thus giving them time to come to grips as it were, with our lightening-fast nuptials."

"I don't know," he said. "I think it's better if my mother gets all the bad news at once."

"I disagree. Upon further reflection, maybe we could 'fudge' the date of conception. When the baby is born, we claim it's premature. No need to cause either of our mothers needless anxiety."

"My mother won't be fooled," Sheldon sighed. "She might not have my intellect, but when it comes to social matters, the woman is a savant. She won't be taken in by a falsehood."

Sitting up straighter, Amy smoothed her hands down over her skirt. "Very well. We'll simply not mention it to either of them. I don't see my mother often, and yours is in Texas, so we may come up with a solution before July. We're both highly intelligent, we should be able to come up with a plausible explanation. Failing that, I'm sure Penny could be of assistance."

"Penny? How could she help?"

Amy reached for her tea, taking a drink. "As you have pointed out, Penny has many tales of former acquaintances being in situations such as ours. An unplanned pregnancy," she pointed out when Sheldon still looked confused. Suddenly he brightened.

"Oh! You mean they've had to confess to pre-marital coitus to their parents! Amy, that's brilliant! Surely one of their experiences would match ours!"

Amy tried to take comfort in Sheldon's praise of her idea, but doubted any of Penny's friends had had an experience similar to her and Sheldon's. Most stories she'd ever heard of unplanned coitus didn't end up with the man fleeing in terror to the bathroom for a decontamination shower.

Checking his watch, Sheldon pulled his cell phone from his pocket. "It's not too late to call. Let's get this over with."

Amy watched him touch a few icons on his phone, feeling her nerves ratcheting up. She was surprised Sheldon hadn't had to be coerced into calling his mother. Usually he had to be badgered endlessly to perform an unsavory task. Could it be he really didn't regret marrying her?

"Hello, Mom." There was a pause. "Yes, of course it's me." Another break. "No, nothing is wrong. Does there have to be something wrong for me to call you?" Sheldon looked over at Amy, rolling his eyes. "Yes, I know I don't usually call unless something is wrong, but there isn't this time. Actually, I have some news which I think you'll find positive."

Sheldon was on his feet, pacing the living room. Amy watched him make a precise circuit, and felt her stomach tighten further. If he was this uncomfortable speaking to his own mother, how was she going to accomplish it? Surely Mary Cooper was going to have questions for her, as her new daughter-in-law. That thought caused even more agitation to her stomach. The last time she'd seen Sheldon's mother, she made it clear she didn't approve of Amy, and their relationship was in defiance of her wishes. How was she going talk to the woman?

"Amy and I were married today." Sheldon held the phone away from his ear and Amy could hear exclamations of some sort, but she couldn't make out the words. Nor could she tell if the noises indicated happiness or anger.

"Yes, I know this was sudden. No, we couldn't wait for you to come. We decided we wanted something small, so we went to City Hall." More loud exclamations. "You're the one who keeps telling me Jesus is everywhere, so I'm sure He was at the courthouse. No, Ma'am, I'm not sassing you." Sheldon looked over at Amy with an expression of helplessness, then he suddenly turned his back on her, lowering his voice.

"Of course I. . ." he gulped, "Love her." He looked over his shoulder at Amy, his face beet red. She tried not to be hurt when he so obviously had to force the words out. After all, he'd never told her he loved her. He was placating his mother and he shouldn't be held accountable for what he said to accomplish that.

"No, we're living here. In my apartment." More time for another question from his mother. "He's living across the hall. Yes, with Penny." Sheldon shuffled his feet. "Yes, I know you don't approve, but that's the decision they've made." There was quite a long pause, then Sheldon spoke again. "Mom, can't you just be happy for me?" Amy felt her heart break. It was apparent Sheldon needed his mother's approval and support, and when it wasn't forthcoming, Amy felt her protective nature asserting itself, causing her to stand and hold out her hand for the phone.

"Amy wants to talk to you."

Inhaling, Amy tried to calm herself as she took the device. It wasn't nerves she needed to overcome, but anger at how dejected Sheldon looked. Mary might be his mother, but she couldn't see how upset her son was at her less-than-enthusiastic response.

"Hello, Mrs. Cooper."

"Amy. So, Shelly tells me congratulations are in order." She didn't sound very sincere.

"Thank you! Yes, we're very excited!" Amy looked over at Sheldon who'd retaken his seat on the sofa. He was curled in on himself, and didn't look even remotely excited.

"I have to wonder at how quickly this happened. Last I heard the two of you were dating twice monthly."

"Yes, we were. But then one night we were discussing the future, our future, and suddenly it made sense for us to get married." It wasn't a lie, per se, but there was a great portion of their conversation she chose not to reveal to her new mother-in-law. "You know what a spontaneous romantic Sheldon can be!" Amy couldn't believe the words had slipped from her mouth. In her turmoil they seemed to spew forth on their own. Even Sheldon was shaken from his state of apathy to stare at her in disbelief. Amy danced around the room trying to think of something to say to salvage the conversation, but it was if her brain had frozen. It's Arman the miniature horse breeder all over again!

"Why, yes. I'm well aware how 'spontaneous' Shelly can be," she said dryly.

"We've been dating for three years," Amy added hopefully.

"Which if you have that kind of patience, I wonder why you couldn't wait long enough for me and Sheldon's Meemaw to come see you wed."

"Mrs. Cooper. . ."

"Call me 'Mary.'"

"Mary," Amy said, swallowing. "Please don't blame Sheldon for this. I'm the one who insisted on getting married so quickly." Again, it wasn't an out-and-out lie, but she was willing to stretch the truth to protect Sheldon. He was sitting up straighter on the sofa, staring at her. "I didn't want a lot of fuss. We just wanted to get married."

There was a long stretch of silence, and Amy thought perhaps they'd been cut off. "Mary?"

She sighed, as if in resignation. "Well, I suppose there's nothing that can be done now. That ship has sailed. No use dwelling on it." Amy wasn't sure if Mary was trying to convince herself, or if it was a stab at making her feel guilty.

"Let me talk to Shelly again. And Amy? Welcome to the family." This time Mary did sound more sincere, and Amy felt some of the tension leave her body.

"Thank you," she said. "Here's Sheldon." She held out the phone to him but he was shaking his head. Whispering, Amy insisted, "You have to talk to her! She's not going to yell at you!"

Reluctantly, he took the phone. "Hello, mother. Yes, we'll come for a visit sometime. I'm not sure when. Amy and I are both very busy at work." He looked over at her, and Amy thought he looked a little calmer. "No, it's okay. You can tell Meemaw. I'll talk to her tomorrow, but you can tell her. I know she's going to be as disappointed as you," he sighed. "Yes. Yes. I love you, too. Good-bye."

Amy watched as he ended the call. He was capable of saying the words "I love you," to his mother, so it wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility he'd say them to her some day, right? Sheldon stuffed the phone back in his pant's pocket and was looking at her, puzzled.

"Amy, why did you tell my mother you wanted a small wedding? And that you were the one who wanted to get married as soon as possible? Those are both untruths, and I find it disturbing you could say that to my mother."

Amy wasn't sure how to answer him. She hadn't wanted to lie to Mary, but neither did she want Sheldon to be the recipient of his parent's ire. "You were being blamed for trying to do the right thing, and I wasn't going to allow that to happen."

Sheldon was still looking up at her, his confusion unabated. "But she doesn't know the whole truth, so she can't be blamed for how she reacted."

Taking a seat next to him once more, Amy turned to face him. "I didn't want your mother to be upset with you because she thought you hadn't considered her or your Meemaw when you got married. I thought if she believed I was the one pushing for a quick wedding it would take some of the pressure off you."

Sheldon stared off into the living room. After a moment he looked back at her. "That was considerate of you, but I don't want my mother thinking badly of you either." He sighed and let his gaze drift again. "I guess there were a lot of things I hadn't taken into account when I rushed into this marriage."

Amy watched him, and saw how unhappy he was. Maybe she should have put up a stronger fight when he suggested they get married. She knew at the time it was the last thing he wanted, but she was scared. The thought of raising a child alone—despite the offers of assistance from her friends—had truly overwhelmed her. Even with Sheldon's help it was still terrifying. Maybe she'd been right the first time when she thought of him as more of a liability than a helpmate.

"Sheldon, we'll get through this. You've told your mother we're married. The rest of the news may be a shock to her, but once she gets used to the idea of being a grandmother, she'll come around."

"You think that's going to be the case with your mother?"

Letting go of a breath, Amy met his gaze. "I hope so."

Sheldon fiddled with his empty mug. "Do you want to call her now? I'll be your back-up like you were for me."

Amy smiled at Sheldon's offer. It was generous for him and she found it incredibly sweet. "Let's see how she reacts to the news before we start making claims of undying love. I honestly don't know how she's going to take it."

"Very well," he said, nodding in her direction. "Make the call."

In the end it wasn't as bad as either of them had anticipated. Anita Fowler was disappointed, but claimed she was used to Amy's odd propensities. She spoke with Sheldon long enough to offer congratulations and ask for an address to send them a wedding gift, something she claimed every household needed: A George Forman grill.