As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just a fan writing some fiction. Please enjoy!
Dwarven Vow #22
Cha mhisde sgeul mhath aithris da uair.
A good tale is not the worse of being told twice.
12-
Hazel finished packaging the herbs that she'd been preparing and invited Genis to sit down at the table in the middle of the kitchen. He did so warily, but by this point he was too curious to back out. Hazel served him a cup of tea and then poured one for herself. He wanted some sugar and cream, but she didn't seem to be forthcoming with it, and he was too timid to ask, so he settled for his tea the way it was.
"I want to thank you for earlier- what you said, I mean," Hazel began. She sat down and tugged her scarf off of her head again. "Since you're one of Master Zelos' friends, I just assumed that you were human."
Genis tried his best not to make a face at the bitter taste of the tea. "D-does Zelos know?"
"Know what?"
"That you're a half-elf."
Hazel nodded. "Master Zelos hired me because I am a half-elf."
"Zelos did?!"
She closed her eyes and took a sip of tea, seemingly unfazed by the taste. "When he began searching for a caretaker for his sister, Master Zelos had two stipulations. One, he didn't want a male caretaker, lest they fall in love with his precious sister, and two, he didn't want a human caretaker, lest they look down on Seles for her half-elf blood." She sighed. "He got what he wanted on at least one account, I suppose."
"One…" Genis' breath caught in his throat. "Wait. You and Seles are...?"
Hazel looked down at the table again. "It would be so much easier if it were unrequited. Seles is my mistress, I her servant. My feelings are a flagrant defiance of my station, and are something I should never divulge to anyone, least of all my mistress. I never planned to say anything. But she..."
"Seles confessed her love for you, didn't she?" Genis gasped. "And you replied honestly."
"Master Zelos can never know!"
"Why not?"
"B-because I'm a half-elf! It's one thing to have a half-elf caring for his sister, but if Master Zelos knew that his sister and a half-elf were together romantically, he..." She shook her head. "I'm just afraid that he'd make it so that we couldn't be together. He could fire me and prevent me from seeing Seles ever again. It would hurt me, and worse still, it would hurt Seles. Master Zelos loves her so much, he's willing to sacrifice her emotions for her safety if he feels it's the right thing for her. That's something I'm still struggling with. That's why I want to keep her from going to Flanoir. I want her safe."
"I see."
"I want to protect Seles, no matter how she or I might feel about it. I want to be more like Master Zelos."
There was a period of silence. Genis' head was spinning. He was about to open his mouth to say something, but before he could, a quiet voice from the hallway broke in.
"Is that how you really see me? The same way Zelos sees me?"
Hazel jumped to her feet. "M-mistress! I thought Tokunaga was keeping an eye on you while you were-"
"I asked him where I could find you, and he said you were in the kitchen." Seles' voice was shaky, but her shoulders were hunched and her mouth was turned up into a scowl. "I thought, when we told each other how we felt, that you saw me as an equal. I asked you not to think of me as your mistress anymore, and you promised."
"O-of course I see you as an equal. Seles, I-"
"No! You and my brother are the same! All you see me as is something fragile that needs protecting!"
"That's not true, Seles!"
Genis' face went pale. He'd somehow found himself in the middle of a lovers' spat and he wanted out. But would it be rude to run? Maybe if he was subtle about it-
"Now, ladies, let's be civil about this. Mistress Seles, you know that neither your brother nor your nurse consider you fragile. They both care deeply for you and wish for you to be in good health. But at the same time, Miss Hazel, you should think about Mistress Seles' feelings before you make decisions like this. Without assuring her happiness, what good is assuring her safety?"
Both Hazel and Seles shrunk back at the sight of the man in the doorway. "S-Sebastian..." Hazel stammered. "How much did you overhear?"
"I hear everything that goes on in this house. Just ask Master Zelos."
"So you knew about...?"
"About the two of you? It's been obvious for quite some time, Mistress Seles."
"Does Master Zelos know?" Hazel choked.
"Not to my knowledge. I assume he would have approached you about it if he did. But he's an intelligent and perceptive man. How much longer did you hope to keep things from him?"
Both girls looked down at their feet. They were both too embarrassed to say anything. Genis cleared his throat uncomfortably and inched back toward the door.
"I'm, uh, going to head back to the guest quarters..."
Sebastian nodded in his direction. "Thank you for your patience, Mister Sage. If you would, could you avoid gossip? The Wilder family has enough to worry about at the moment."
"...Beverly... Betty... Bethany..."
"...no... no... no..."
"...Bess... Bermuda..."
"...no... no..."
Lloyd and Ida were sprawled out on the floor, Lloyd with his face practically buried in the book. His previous enthusiasm had dwindled, and he was now practically groaning the names as he read them. Ida was distracted, drawing pictures and only paying half attention to what Lloyd was saying, so Sheena wasn't sure if she was really considering the names the way she should be. Sheena cleared her throat, noticing the time that was displayed on the clock in the corner of the room.
"It's getting late. We should probably call it a night. Nothing's going to come of running ourselves ragged like this-"
"No! I have a good feeling about this one!" Lloyd interrupted her, placing his finger on a random part of the page. "Belinda!"
Ida closed her eyes and thought it over for a moment.
"No."
Lloyd groaned and collapsed onto the floor again. "I give up. That's too many names for me. I'm just going to fall asleep right here."
Both Sheena and Ida sat down beside him, but their responses were completely different.
"Don't sleep on the floor, Lloyd," Sheena began. "Your back and neck are going to be sore tomo-"
"It's okay. Just let him rest here for now." Ida scooted closer to Lloyd, reaching out to run a hand through his hair gently. "You two have been working so hard for me. I'm sorry I haven't identified a name yet."
"Don't worry about it," Sheena responded. "Like you said, it might be best to let your memories come back naturally. We just want to help all we can."
Neither Ida nor Lloyd responded with anything more than a smile. Lloyd's eyes were closed with a look reminiscent of a dog being petted. Ida, on the other hand, had fallen into a daze. As though by some instinct, she began humming a tune under her breath. It was beautiful, though Sheena didn't recognize it. Lloyd, however, had a different reaction.
"Ida, where'd you learn that song?"
"Hmm?" She stopped humming and opened her eyes. "I don't know. I just... know it."
"Do you know the words?"
"It has words?"
Lloyd sat up, tidying his hair. "Its a lullaby. I don't know the name, but I know it's one that my mother used to sing to me. I remember some of the words."
"Can you sing it to me? Maybe I'll be able to remember too."
Lloyd didn't have a particularly appealing voice, but he could sing on-key and enunciate his words well, so he had no qualms about singing in front of others. He took a deep breath and started to sing quietly at first, and then growing louder as he reached the chorus and grew more sure of the words.
"Sailing though a night sky filled with starlight, and descending gently to the rolling sea… now my only guides-"
He wasn't able to pinpoint the moment that Ida joined him. In his mind, as he sang, he heard the memory of his mother's voice- or so he thought. But when he cut off, he realized that the voice singing with him was real, and Ida was continuing the song from where he'd left off. She had a lovely voice, airy and soft, almost like... no, exactly like...
"-are the ripples of blue, skies of starlight, and the echoing sound of the tides… calling out through the darkness to me…"
"Ida, wait."
She stopped. "Did I get the words wrong? I'm not even sure what I'm singing-"
"No. It's not that." Lloyd shook his head. "I just... I need quiet for a moment. Let me think."
Sheena frowned. "Is something-"
"Let me think!"
Lloyd didn't generally snap like that, so it was surprising to both of the girls. They waited patiently as Lloyd pressed his fingers to his temples, his eyes closed tightly.
Suddenly, he leapt to his feet. "I just forgot something I needed to talk to Genis about! I'll be back!"
"Lloyd!" Sheena reached for him, but she wasn't fast enough to stop him before he bolted out the door. "What the hell was that about? That idiot- if it was that important, why didn't he remember it earlier?"
Ida shrugged. "Maybe the song made him remember it."
"Maybe. But I can't see what he would have to talk to Genis about now. They were together most of the day." Sheena stood up and walked over to the window, tugging the curtains open so that she could get a better idea of the time. "Unless it's something that he doesn't want the two of us to know about."
Ida frowned. "Lloyd and Genis wouldn't hide stuff from us, would they-"
Her sentence was cut off by the simultaneous sounds of the door opening and someone speaking.
"Hey, what's up with Lloyd? Did something happen?" Genis closed the door behind him after he entered. "I tried to ask him why he was running, but he didn't even stop. He just waved as he went past. Any idea where he's going?"
Sheena and Ida glanced at each other.
"Actually, he said that he was going to talk to you-" Ida began, but she was cut off as Sheena scrambled to her feet and started towards the door.
"I'll go find him. If something's wrong, he shouldn't be running off like this."
Neither Genis nor Ida objected as Sheena closed the door behind her, running off down the hallway and muttering something under her breath about "that idiot..."
"...Seles' mother was put on trial and executed for her crime, of course. Poor Seles didn't understand- she was too young at the time. Her mother, while a wicked and twisted woman, had loved Seles dearly. She'd shown her daughter nothing but kindness. Seles couldn't have known..."
Colette reached over to where Zelos was sitting next to her, grasping his hands in hers. "I had no idea. I didn't know about any of this."
"I don't talk about my mother much." Zelos shook his head. "Sheena knows, and I've told Lloyd, but besides that, you're my only close friend who knows the whole story."
"Zelos... thank you." Colette pulled her scarf closer around her neck. "Thank you for telling me. I can understand now why you... feel the way you do about the snow. I'm sorry for getting upset with you about it."
"You don't have to apologize. You couldn't have known."
"I know, but... no matter whether it was intentional or not, it hurt you. I'm sorry for- er, I mean, it's not that, uh-"
"It's okay. I accept your apology." Zelos reached out and took her hand. "I said that you didn't have to apologize. It doesn't matter to me. But if apologizing makes you feel better, then you should apologize to your heart's content."
Colette frowned in confusion. "Are you sure? Everyone says that I apologize too much. Sometimes I can't help it, but I'm still trying to get better at not apologizing over silly little things-"
"Absentmindedly apologizing over everything is the result of growing up with high expectations placed on you from a young age," Zelos interrupted.
"Really?"
"Yeah. It's a coping method, and it eventually becomes second nature, especially when you feel like people around you are unhappy."
The two had been stopped at an overlook along the trail as they talked, so Zelos pulled on Colette's hand to drag her with him as he continued.
"Getting mad at you over it only makes things worse. You keep working on it, but in the meantime, how about I promise that I'll never get mad at you for apologizing? I'll forgive you every time, I promise."
The quiet that followed was swallowed up by a gust of wind that battered the mountainside. Colette used her free hand to pull her scarf up over her nose, but she made sure to keep hold of Zelos' hand with the other, nodding her head at him with a grateful smile.
He couldn't see her mouth with the scarf like it was, but the glimmer in her eyes made it clear that she was smiling. She had the most beautiful blue eyes; Zelos' mind couldn't help jumping back to a passage he'd written in his and Seles' last novel... something about a pair of kind blue eyes that held within them the warmth of a fire in the hearth, the comfort of a hot cup of tea, the solace of a loving embrace-
Damn, was he really breaking out the metaphors?
He was in deep. Gods help him.
"N-now that the wind is blowing up the mountain, we should catch it!" Zelos raised his voice so that he could be heard. A pair of orange wings appeared behind his back, glowing softly in the night air. "Let's go up to the summit!"
"Won't it be dangerous with the wind like it is?" Colette yelled back, trying to keep her hair from blowing in her face.
"Just keep holding onto my hands! Don't let go!"
"Okay!"
If someone had been watching from far away, they might have been able to spot a pair of glimmering wings, pink and orange, floating up the side of the mountain, following the air currents and rising to the summit station.
But no one was looking.
Lloyd had retreated to one of the balconies off the main hallway. He was standing over the railing overlooking the courtyard, but his head was bowed. Sheena slipped out the open door without making any noise, and she saw him jump as she spoke up.
"Lloyd?"
He was surprised by the sound of her voice, but he didn't look up or say anything.
"Lloyd, are you okay?" She stepped against the railing so that she could stand beside him.
"...I can't remember..."
"You can't remember if you're okay?"
"...I can't remember her voice..."
It was then that Sheena realized he was tightly clutching the hand with his exsphere. She gasped.
"Your mother's?"
Lloyd nodded.
"I don't understand. You said that you remember her singing that lullaby, didn't you?"
"I do... I did... but..." Lloyd tightened his grip on the railing. "I could hear her voice in my head when I was singing, but once Ida started singing, I just sort of lost it. All I can hear is Ida's voice. When I try to recall my mom's voice, her singing, the way she used to talk to me, I just can't. It was already fuzzy in my mind, but now it's gone. I just hear Ida."
There was silence. Sheena shifted her weight, trying to figure out what to say. Before she could speak up- before she could even decide what to say- Lloyd spoke up again.
"Ida looks like my mom too. Kratos said that... if I didn't do something, mom's soul would be lost. I didn't think it was true. I didn't understand how that could be possible. But now it almost seems like Ida is erasing my memories of mom and replacing them with herself. If I let her stay, will she keep erasing my mother's memories from my mind?" Lloyd's voice cracked as he grew more and more distressed. "Will I forget that I even had a mother? If I can't even remember mom, will I be able to use my exsphere? And what'll happen to Kratos? Will he forget mom too? Is that why he was so insistent that I-"
"Lloyd, quit it. You're not making sense."
"I know, but I can't help worrying! It's awful! I could never do anything to hurt Ida... but if I don't... if I lose my memories... then mom will..."
"Lloyd, Lloyd, stop!" Sheena grabbed his hands and turned him around to face her. "Are you even listening to yourself? This is nonsense!"
Lloyd was quiet a moment. He stared at Sheena as he caught his breath, not even bothering to move away. "What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? I mean think about what you're saying!" Sheena shot back. She released his hands and took a step away. "You're the one who told me that, no matter what happens to them, the people we love never really leave us. Don't you remember? When you comforted me after Corrine sacrificed himself? You told me what Colette said about praying to the goddess inside yourself. You have your mother's exsphere so that you'll never forget her. Use it."
"You mean..." Lloyd looked down at his hand. "...pray to mom's exsphere?"
Sheena nodded, reaching into the hem of her robe to retrieve something. "Yes. And- hold out your hands."
Lloyd did so in silence and was surprised as he felt Sheena place something small and metallic into his hand. It made a jingling noise as he pulled his hand back, and he knew what it was before he even looked.
"Corrine's...?"
"You need Corrine's help now more than I do," Sheena whispered. "Take care of it for me. Pray to him, and to your mother. Ask them to give you the wisdom to know the right thing to do."
Lloyd took a deep breath and closed his hands around the bell. "...thank you, Sheena. You're right- I'm getting too worked up over this. If I let myself panic, I might do something I'd regret. I won't let that happen. I'll pray to Mom and Corrine."
Sheena was going to say something else, but Lloyd suddenly wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her close to his chest, and she totally forgot what she had been considering saying. It didn't matter at that point. She looped her arms around his chest in response, and the message that she'd wanted to convey was made clear.
They stayed there for a brief moment before separating, each taking a step back. Sheena cleared her throat awkwardly, but Lloyd didn't seem quite as fazed by what had just happened.
"Sheena, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure. What is it?"
Lloyd glanced away. "When all of this is over, and things go back to normal... I was wondering... would you go eat lunch with me at the Elephant Room cafe?"
Sheena had honestly not expected that response. "What?"
"W-well- earlier today you said that it was impolite to schedule a date without asking the other person. So that's what I'm doing."
"You're-?"
Lloyd bowed. With his head facing the floor, he made sure to raise his voice so that she could hear him, but ended up yelling a bit more loudly than he'd anticipated.
"I'M ASKING YOU TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME."
"L-Lloyd, not so loud!" Sheena grabbed the back collar of his shirt and pulled him back up. "What are you doing, trying to wake the whole manor?"
"I just wanted to make sure you could hear me."
"You idiot, I can hear you just fine-" Sheena's voice cut off. "I mean, of course I can hear you. And yes, of course I'll go on a date with you."
"Really? Oh, Shee-"
"But only after everything's calmed down and things have gone back to normal. A-alright?"
Lloyd hugged her again. "Sure! Whatever you say!"
"...you really are an idiot..."
That was what Sheena said, but she was smiling nonetheless.
