(Don't) Let Me Go
Chapter Twelve: (Worth the) Risk
The last thing in the world Felicity wanted to do was have a conversation with a pissed-off, defensive, and (by the looks of it) exhausted Samantha Clayton. Actually, she was right on the top of the list of people Felicity would rather avoid talking to for the rest of her life.
So, of course, it looked like they were going to be stuck with each other for…oh, several decades. At least. Fan-fricken-tastic.
Well, Oliver was worth it. William was worth it. So…Felicity would just have to deal.
Frak.
Of course, Felicity could just…not deal with it. Make Oliver handle Samantha. It was his mess.
But that really wasn't the sort of partner Felicity wanted to be. And, besides, Oliver might be good at a lot of things. Like scarily, inhumanly good at some of them, but dealing with his Baby Mama happened to be something he was spectacularly bad at.
And the mood Samantha was obviously in…she would eat the Big Bad Green Arrow for breakfast.
Well, until Samantha managed to get Oliver good and growly and then…Felicity suppressed a shudder. This just wasn't a situation that could be solved by putting an arrow in it. Unfortunately.
So, Felicity got to deal with Samantha. Yay! She was so looking forward to this conversation. Especially, given how calm and reasonable the woman had proven to be in the past.
Taking a long, fortifying drink of her very sweet and very creamy (but not nearly full enough) coffee, Felicity settled herself and her brunch next to the woman who had (indirectly) caused her a hell of a lot of pain.
When Felicity looked at her, Samantha was glaring at her, arms crossed, jaw hard…
This was ridiculous! What the hell had Felicity ever done to her?
Nothing, that's what. She hadn't stolen Oliver. Or her son, for that matter. She'd never lied or cheated or…anything to Samantha that would warrant any sort of anger that was being directed at her.
Vis versa on the other hand…
Fraking hell.
Felicity just wanted to turn her back on Samantha and walk away, but…that just brought her back to the beginning. For Oliver and William's sake, she was going to have to do her best to work with the situation.
"You know we have to deal with each other, right? All of us?" Felicity gestured to where Oliver and William were engaged in conversation (God, how she wished she was there, instead of here). "They know each other now. They want to be in each other's lives. They deserve to be in each other's lives. So, we can figure out how to do that in a way that works for all of us or we can continue to fight each other every step of the way for the next eight years until William decides he's had enough and kicks us all out of his life."
Okay.
Wow.
As an opening gambit that was…strongly worded. Maybe, Felicity should have eaten first. Or thought a little longer before she spoke. She couldn't bring herself to regret a word she said, though.
She did turn her eyes away to allow Samantha to process. Besides, Felicity was fraking hungry. She shoveled a huge mouthful of cheesy eggs into her mouth and…God, that was good. She wondered if these really were the second-best eggs she had ever eaten (Oliver and his damn slow cooker eggs were damn near impossible to beat) or if she was just that hungry.
Felicity only had a minute to get lost in the joy that was actual food before Samantha pulled her back to reality, saying (or, maybe, accusing), "I know you judge me for lying to them for all these years."
Well, crap. Taking a minute to swallow, Felicity tried to figure out what the hell she was supposed to say to that.
"Judge is such a…strong word," she finally settled on. Not an inaccurate word, though it certainly didn't make Felicity feel that great about how she was handling this. Should she at least try to be more sympathetic?
Samantha huffed, almost chuckling, but in an extremely bitter way. "It's okay, my son certainly judges me." The pain in her voice was difficult to ignore. "And, from what I understand, the two of you have soooo much in common."
Okay, now Felicity was feeling guilty, but…
Dammit! This was how Samantha got Oliver to do what she wanted back in Central City. Guilt and manipulation. Playing the Mommy Card.
Stealing her jaw, Felicity said quietly, but firmly, "You were the one who chose this path with William. It's not Oliver's fault, and it isn't certainly mine, that they thought each other was dead for his entire life."
Was that too harsh? Not harsh enough? Felicity didn't know anymore.
Samantha's eyes darted away and Felicity thought, maybe, she saw the first hint of guilt in the other woman's eyes. There was definitely a glint of tears. But, then, Samantha leveled Felicity with a hard stare. "Do you know why I took Moira Queen's check…or pretended to since I never actually cashed the damn thing…all those years ago?"
Um…okay. That was interesting place for Samantha to start her argument. Felicity really couldn't see what she hoped to gain from it.
Felicity shrugged. "I always assumed that you didn't want William to grow up to be a spoiled rich kid. You know, the kind who dropped out of college, partied too much, and got a girl pregnant while dating someone else." Blunt, but why else would she keep her son from his father?
Though, it was not, in Felicity's opinion, justification for everything Samantha had done. The Oliver of old was a player, a douche, sure, but he wasn't a criminal. There was no reason to believe Oliver would have been a danger to William or Samantha.
Samantha gave a bark of a laugh and, after, seemed to be shocked that she had done so. "That was certainly part of it. Well, a large part of it." Samantha shook her head, but at least she seemed to have some respect in her eyes now. "But more than that…well, frankly, Mrs. Queen terrified me. The way she manipulated Oliver's life…supposedly out of love? The way she threw money at me like she had the right to arrange my life, my child's life, just because she was…who she was…" Samantha shuddered, clearly disgusted.
And Felicity couldn't say she didn't share that emotion. Because, yup, that was the Moira Queen. To a T.
"She wasn't my favorite person either." Felicity kept her voice quiet so Oliver and William couldn't overhear. Or Thea, for that matter. Since Moira's death, Felicity had tried to keep her opinion of Oliver's mother to herself. What good would sharing it do? Moira was gone and Oliver and Thea needed to hold on to whatever good memories they had.
Samantha sat forward, her eyes lighting up. "So you understand—?"
"No." Felicity wasn't ready to give Samantha this out. Not yet. Even if…maybe she did understand. A little. But that didn't mean she was okay with what Samantha had done. "You didn't lie to Moira. You lied to your son and his father."
Samantha grunted in frustration. "If I had ignored Moira's 'request,' if I'd gone to Oliver, who as far as I knew would totally take his mother's side, and told him the truth…" She let out a long sigh. "Let's say I hadn't told Oliver I miscarried? Who's to say Mama!Queen wouldn't have decided a year after William was born…five years after he was born…that my son was now a 'Queen' and that meant she had the right to control him too. And if I tried to stand in her way, what was to keep her from sending in an army of lawyers to take William away from me?"
Squeezing her eyes shut, Samantha turned her face away. Then, angrily brushing away a tear that had dared to escape, she whispered in a choked voice, "He's all I have. I couldn't let…that woman have him."
Okay. Wow.
Felicity let out a sharp breath. "I understand that. I do." And she could. She could absolutely empathize with Samantha's fear, her need to protect her child. And, maybe, she even felt a little bad for all the horrible things she had thought about the woman without knowing the full story. But… "Oliver's not Moira. Moira is dead and gone and he is nothing like her."
Actually, that was probably an oversimplification. Moira was a complex person. As were her children. Felicity could think of a dozen positive traits Oliver had gotten from his mother. But for this purpose, Oliver truly was nothing like his mother.
"And how was I to know that?" Samantha demanded in a hiss. "I barely knew Oliver!"
What was Samantha trying to get at here? Was she actually looking for absolution for that insane ultimatum she gave Oliver almost two years ago? The one that sent Felicity's world crumbling around her? Well, if she was, Samantha certainly wasn't going to get it. Not from her.
Or did she want forgiveness for the choice she'd made more than ten years ago? The one where Samantha had done as Moira Queen, the woman she claimed to hate, asked? Well, Felicity might understand how she had come to that decision, and, maybe, that one wasn't hers to judge, but it certainly wasn't hers to absolve.
"We can't change the past," Felicity finally said, gentling her tone. It was the best she could do. "And you may not have known Oliver ten years ago, or even two, but you should know now that he is nothing like the boy you knew. He doesn't live in a mansion and throw around money. He spends all his time, day and night, doing everything he can to help people. At great risk to himself. He doesn't party. He doesn't sleep around." Hell, he barely slept. "He doesn't—"
"Wow. He sounds like quite the catch. I wonder why you broke up with him," Samantha challenged and…
Felicity had a hard time analyzing her tone. Was Samantha questioning her defense of Oliver? Which, now that Felicity thought about it, did sound like a woman head over heels (and she was). Or was she pointing out Felicity's foolishness in not being with him?
Either way, it made Felicity bristle. "We are together," she told Samantha firmly. Not defensively. Nope. Not at all.
Also, Samantha really didn't need the details of her love life. It was none of her business. All she needed to know was the breakup was most assuredly behind them.
Samantha didn't seem surprised. She almost seemed pleased, actually, in a bitter, world-hardened sort of way, and Felicity realized she had probably lessened some of Samantha's guilt for her part in the break-up.
But that was really not what Felicity was putting herself through this conversation to say. "It doesn't matter what I think of Oliver. What matters is that he hasn't given you any reason to believe he would do anything but be a good father to William. The fact that he didn't send an army of lawyers after you when you gave him your ridiculous ultimatum…"
Samantha flinched and it gave Felicity a little too much satisfaction.
"…should prove exactly how much respect Oliver has for you as William's mother and for how you raised him. It also shows very clearly what Oliver is willing to do to keep from negatively impacting his son." Felicity didn't agree with how Oliver originally handled the situation (at all). but it should, at the very least, gain him points with the woman who made the stupid demands in the first place.
And…Samantha was back to looking guilty. Good. She should feel guilty. But she also radiated tension, her arms tightly crossed and her posture stiff. But, at least, Felicity had her full attention.
Maybe, it was time to go in for the kill. "Oliver wants to continue to respect your wishes about William. He'd do just about anything for his son, but if you push him too far, try to cut him out again, you will get the fight of your life." Felicity didn't add that she would be the one leading the charge. She thought that rather implicit, anyway.
Samantha stared at Felicity for long minutes, but when Felicity didn't back down she finally said, "I don't know if that was an olive branch or a threat."
It was both, really. "I'm just stating facts."
And with that Felicity turned her attention back to her eggs, which were now getting cold and not nearly as good. Sigh.
"And if I don't want to move to Star City? Your home? Our third city in three years?" Samantha finally asked, after Felicity had taken several bites of her lukewarm breakfast. "Am I going to get the fight of my life?" Her voice was soft, though. Not confrontational. It was a challenge, but, also, an opening.
So, now they moved onto where they all went next and…it felt weird to be negotiating this without Oliver. Felicity was just the girlfriend, not a parent. But…she really couldn't see Oliver forcing Samantha to move. Actually, she had a feeling Oliver would fold like a deck of cards for a handful of crumbs and Felicity really couldn't let that happen.
"I think that depends on what Oliver feels is best for William," Felicity said, praying it was the right thing. "If Oliver thought his life…wherever you are living now was what was best for him—"
"New Hampshire." Samantha finished, in a disgusted tone, scoffing. "And Oliver certainly isn't going to think that. It's...did you know disappearing without a trace, with a child, isn't as easy or as glamorous as it sounds?"
It probably would have gone a lot better if Felicity had helped. But no one asked her.
Swallowing her bitterness, Felicity simply stated, "I can't imagine it is."
"You leave with the clothes on your back and the cash in your pocket and…that's it. Your degree, your references, your credit report…you have nothing." Samantha closed her eyes, her face a mask of pain and…Felicity hadn't really thought about what it would be like for them. How hard disappearing would be. "We found this tiny town, where they still use paper records so they believed us when said we'd lost all of ours in a fire. Or… maybe they didn't, maybe they thought I was running from an abusive husband or…something. Point was, at least, I was able to enroll William in school."
Samantha wasn't meeting Felicity's eyes and Felicity was glad for it, because even though the decision to run wasn't what she would have chosen, or even something she endorsed, the story was still difficult to hear.
"I couldn't get a job in accounting without my resume, so I worked the registers at Walmart during the day and waited tables at night just to make ends meet. William hated it. Hell, I hated it. It's really hard to be positive for your son when you're miserable and exhausted and completely alone." Samantha sucked in a breath and Felicity could feel her hopelessness. "So, yeah…" Samantha seemed to shake herself, turning to look at Felicity again. "When William says there's nothing for us in New Hampshire, he's right."
Felicity was speechless. If Oliver had known…he would have been horrified. Felicity was horrified. And for the first time, she felt a genuine respect for Samantha and how she had managed to support her and her son under these circumstances. It reminded her a lot of her own mother. "So why fight moving to Star City?" Felicity asked, much more gently this time.
"Honestly?" Samantha shook her head. "If it were entirely up to me, I would move back to Central City. I still own the house there outright. It was my grandmothers. I have friends. A support system. I know the city." She sighed. "But…"
"But?" Felicity wasn't expecting a 'but'. Samantha was presenting a very good case for Central City.
Samantha sighed. "But is it safe there? Is it safe anywhere? It certainly wasn't safe in New Hampshire. Would it be any safer in Star City? Or would it be worse, because everyone there knows Oliver Queen and would know that William was his son and he's got a ton of enemies and—"
"Samantha." Felicity reached out and touched her hand before giving herself time to think better of the idea. "I won't lie. William is always going to be in danger because of who his father is. It won't matter where he is. Chase just proved that. But in Star City, Oliver and I can fortify where ever you decided to live with the latest security system and you would have your own Superhero Team watching over you. We could even get you a bodyguard."
Wrinkling her nose, Samantha looked appalled at the idea and Felicity could certainly empathize with that.
"I know. But it might be necessary where ever you are. But, since I'm being honest…" Forgive her, Oliver. "You could have the same thing in Central City." As Felicity said it, it felt like she was betraying Oliver and William, but it was the truth. And someone had to be faithful to that.
Hope flashed in Samantha's eyes, even as she said doubtfully, "Have a Superhero Team watching over us? What are you going to do, put us on the Flash's routine patrol?"
"Well…yeah." That was exactly what they would do.
"Seriously?" Samantha's eyes widened and she looked as if she couldn't believe she was having this conversation.
Felicity was sure this was pretty surreal experience for her.
She shrugged. Felicity didn't want to brag, but… "We kind of know him…the Flash…all of Team Flash. Well, actually. We're friends. Good friends." Yeah, sounded like bragging, but, again, it was the truth. In fact, Felicity thought she was rather understating it. "I even dated the Flash, briefly, before Oliver—"
"How many Superheroes have you dated?" From the shock in Samantha's voice it was clear she couldn't wrap her head around any of this.
Eek. Samantha just had to ask that question. Felicity wrinkled up her nose and confessed, "Three." It hadn't escaped her notice that she might have a type. And, what was worse, that definitely sounded like she was bragging.
"Three!" Samantha gasped and Felicity couldn't do anything but give another shrug. Because…it was what it was. Falling back in her chair, Samantha stared at her for a long moment, wide-eyed and unblinking. "You know you don't live a normal life, right?"
Understatement of the century. "I'm aware."
Then Samantha let out another long breath, closing her eyes briefly. "Our lives aren't normal anymore either, are they?"
"I'm sorry." And Felicity was. She had chosen this life, but Samantha and William hadn't. They were thrust into it. Felicity had a strong feeling that William would still choose it, if given a chance, but Samantha…
Well, Samantha had no choice. It was just a fact of her life now. There was no place to hide.
Samantha considered Felicity for long moments, but she no longer looked like she wanted Felicity to spontaneously combust, so that was something. Finally, Samantha shook her head, muttering, "Three Superheroes, no wonder my son adores you."
Well, that shocked the hell out of her. Though, it gave Felicity a warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach too. "I barely had the chance to speak to William," Felicity protested.
Samantha rolled her eyes. "It was enough. If I could count the number of times I've heard yours and Oliver's names since we were rescued…actually…." She let out a choked sound. "William calls him 'dad'. I can't believe he calls him 'dad'."
Felicity knew smiling wasn't the appropriate response, but it was hard to contain. Samantha's words gave her such a wave of affection for that sweet boy.
But even so, Felicity could imagine how this was hurting Samantha.
Leaning forward again, Felicity told her with complete and genuine honesty, "Samantha, I don't want to take your place. You're William's mother. I couldn't take your place if I wanted to. And I don't want to. I was raised by a single mother." Samantha's eyes flicked to hers. If she only knew the whole story, how similar they were. Someday, maybe. "I know what the bond is like between a single parent and their child…"
Guilt washed over her and Felicity fought the burn in the back of her throat, vowing to call her mother the first chance she got. She had taken her for granted for far too long.
Taking a shaky breath, Felicity pushed forward, "I do want a relationship with your son. A good one, I hope. But I don't want to be his mother. You're his mother."
Samantha nodded, discreetly wiping her face, and Felicity knew that she had finally gotten through to her.
She pretended not to notice Samantha's tears as she debated her next words. Did Felicity let this go? Maybe, even advocate to Oliver and William for Samantha's desire to move back to Central City.
In some ways, it would be so much easier. Cisco could trick out their house. Barry or Wally could run William back to Star City two weekends a month (which Felicity was certain William would love). She could get William the best very cell-phone on the market and tablet to skype or text his dad daily.
And Oliver and Felicity's lives wouldn't have to change that much. They could stay nice and separate from Samantha's.
It was tempting. It really was. But it wasn't what Oliver and William wanted.
"But if you do decide to move to Star City," Felicity began, carefully. "To start over. You could probably have your pick of accounting jobs. We're always looking for young professionals there." What with the mass exodus over the last few years. Not that Felicity was mentioning that. "Between Oliver and I, we could get you…"
Samantha eyes flashed, opening her mouth to protest. Damn, this woman was prideful.
Felicity could respect that. "We could get you interviews. Getting the job would be up to you."
Samantha relaxed and when she said her next words, they were calm and measured, "My savings are drained. The moving costs—"
"How much do you think Oliver owes you in back child support?" Felicity couldn't believe how quickly those words left her mouth. It was amazing how, over the last few years, she'd taken on some of the Queen's attitude about money.
Eyebrows up, Samantha questioned, "I thought Oliver wasn't a billionaire anymore."
"He's not." Poor, though, he wasn't either. Even if he could live more spartan than, well, Spartan. "But he is paranoid. And he set up several offshore emergency accounts while he still was a billionaire. He refuses to touch them unless it's to shore up the Bunker, but…I'm certain he would make an exception for his son. Plus, he makes a good salary now."
"I won't be bought—"
As if that wasn't obvious. "Back child support," Felicity repeated.
"If I agree to this. If…" Samantha said fiercely and Felicity was very aware of how much it took for her to give even this much. "I still want primary physical custody. William lives with me. I won't have this 50/50 stuff with him going back and forth in the middle of the school week."
Oh, God, the school week. They would have to find a safe school for William. Wherever he lived. Schools were so big. And accessible. The idea was overwhelming.
"Oliver can have one night a week and every other weekend," Samantha was saying, while Felicity was panicking. "And I want yours…and Oliver's promise that there will be no running to your place whenever he's mad at me."
Okay, Felicity's brain was on overload now, spinning out of control as she tried to imagine how all of this would fit into hers and Oliver's life. City Hall, Team Arrow…and Felicity really did want to start that business her and Curtis had been low-key planning all year. The non-compete clause in her severance package would be up soon.
"Look, the last part, I completely agree with," Felicity managed to say. "We need to figure out a way so that William doesn't play us off one another." Wow, another overwhelming thought. She took a deep breath. "Samantha, I…okay, you are suggesting a very traditional arrangement and…our lives are anything but traditional…"
Samantha stiffened immediately. "I won't—"
"I'm not asking for more than that, I'm asking for flexibility." And Felicity really hoped Oliver would be okay with all of this. "Do you have any idea how crazy our lives are? How busy Oliver is with being the mayor and the Green Arrow."
Sitting up straight, Samantha blinked at her. "Are you saying Oliver doesn't have time to be a father?"
Actually…
"He doesn't. But he'll make time. But it would really help…all of this," Felicity gestured with her hand, "work if you let us fit in Oliver's time with his son when we can. If he is supposed to have dinner with William on Wednesday and there's a crisis—"
Samantha lifted her eyebrows. "You don't want me to be a rigid bitch and not let Oliver see his son for a week?"
Felicity's lip quirked. It would really help if Samantha had a sense of humor too. "That would be nice, yes. Look, we don't need to be friends." Felicity couldn't even imagine. "But this will work so much better if we have each other's backs and not only with discipline and whatever. But…with working our schedules and lack thereof. It would go both ways. If you have to travel for work or stay late or have a last-minute date, I'd like you to be able to call us for back-up. We're really good with last minute. We kind of live our lives on the fly."
Samantha actually smiled, a small but real smile. "I want to say kids need structure and they shouldn't live 'on the fly', but…the older William gets the more that goes out the window and I…" She sucked in a breath, sitting back in her chair. "It's been a long time since I've had any kind of back-up with William. Since my parents died when he was three, actually. And now that he's approaching…God, help me…puberty, sometimes, we just need a break from each other."
Smiling back, tears came to Felicity's eyes. She was just so damn relieved. And, seriously, she couldn't believe how much she empathized with Samantha. "We could help with that."
"And, God…" Samantha almost sounded wistful. "I can't even remember the last time I went on a date. There was a man once...years ago, but I…"
As weird as it was that Samantha was talking about her (apparently nonexistent) love life with Felicity…there was a regret in Samantha's voice, a grief over opportunities missed that she related with.
It brought Felicity back to months ago, when Oliver was dating the dragon lady (Thea's word) and Felicity was still upset with him for not trusting her, yet she'd…still missed him so so much.
And now Felicity knew…knew that Oliver had always trusted her, just he hadn't trusted himself. He…he had made mistakes, yes. Absolutely, yes…but everything that felt so unfixable had been fixable and…
What if…what if Felicity and Oliver hadn't been locked in the Bunker together and forced to deal with their issues? Would they still have found their way back? Would Felicity have been talking about him wistfully a decade from now the way Samantha was talking about…whoever it was she was talking about.
Samantha's eyes were far away as she said, "I was worried about getting hurt." And that resonated…Felicity had to close her eyes it resonated that much. "I was worried about William getting hurt, so I…I told myself it was smart to go slow. That was the way you built a good foundation, made absolutely certain that it was right. I was just taking it one step at a time."
Felicity just barely kept herself from flinching at Samantha's choice of words. God, she was starting to hate one step at a fraking time.
"Then he was offered a job at Monument Point. It was an amazing opportunity. He wasn't going to turn it down for…" Blowing out a breath, Samantha swallowed. "We'd only been on a few dates. I'd wanted to spread them out, make sure it would work. But now…I've always wondered, what if I hadn't? What if I'd taken the risk…?" Samantha shook her head, turning her head to meet Felicity's eyes and whisper, "Life is short."
"Yes, it is," Felicity whispered back.
Over and over Felicity was reminded of that fact and…yet, she allowed herself to get stuck in her own fears and insecurities. Time and time again. To forget. To go on as if time was infinite.
With her mother. With starting her business. With Oliver….
Felicity's heart had started to accelerate and now she could feel it beating in her throat, because…because…life was short. There was no time to waste.
"It feels like I've been living my life on the defensive," Samantha confessed and Felicity didn't know what to do with the fact that she was now becoming her confidant.
Or that she could relate to this on a visceral level.
"Always running. Trying to protect myself and William. First from Momma Queen, then a broken heart, then…a million unknown dangers. I'm so tired of running."
"So stop," Felicity said it softly.
Not sure if she was telling Samantha or…herself. Because Felicity had been living on the defensive too. For so long after her father died, after Cooper, and then, last year, she'd fallen into the same old pattern. It had taken a…Supervillain locking them in an underground death trap to shake her out of it.
But…maybe, Felicity hadn't come out of it. Not fully.
"I have to do something different," Samantha said and…
Oh yeah, they were talking about her life. Not Felicity's. Though, she certainly agreed. Different was good. Necessary even. For both of them, maybe.
"It's not like living like this has gotten me anywhere."
It had never gotten Felicity anywhere either. The best things in her life happened when she had held her breath and jumped in feet first, going with her gut. Not thinking too hard.
"Does that mean you're moving to Star City?" Felicity asked quietly, because, thankfully, some part of her brain was still on the problem in front of her.
Samantha gave Felicity a weak smile. "It means I'll consider it. I need to carefully weigh the pros and cons of Central City versus Star City. Sleep on it, I think. I haven't had nearly enough sleep to make this kind of decision." Her smile turned wry, tipping up more on one end.
Felicity found herself returning it. "That sounds wise." Because, objectively, it did. From Samantha's perspective both cities were good options and needed to be considered carefully. She had a child to consider.
"But I won't fight the two of them." Samantha gestured to where Oliver and William sat. "I won't try to keep them apart. William…" she took in a deep breath, seeming to steel herself, "he's of an age now that he really needs his father. I just hope Oliver can be the father he deserves."
"He will be." If there was one thing Felicity was sure of, it was that. Plus, she planned on making certain of it.
Samantha smiled and it wasn't ironic or skeptical, not this time. "Maybe, I need to talk to him now. Oliver, I mean. Without the screaming or threats."
Oh. Samantha meant now.
Oh, thank God.
This conversation may have gone a whole hell of lot better than Felicity anticipated, but it had…it had brought up a lot more emotions than she had been prepared for and…wow, she was glad it was over.
"I'll get him for you." Felicity tried not to appear too eager to escape as she stood and went (slowly as she could make herself) to Oliver, dropping onto the couch behind him.
Placing her hands on Oliver's shoulders, Felicity resisted the urge to lay her head there and just be. Instead, she leaned down and whispered into his ear, "You're up."
Oliver smiled (a nervous smile, but excited, Felicity thought). He stood, dropping a kiss on her lips and whispering, "Thank you."
She almost whispered back, 'don't thank me, yet,' but thought better of it. Oliver was anxious enough. Felicity watched him go, trying to push back the intrusive thoughts about how close she had come to not being here, to not having Oliver back and…
Nothing in the world felt so right as being with Oliver. Even now, working separately, but as a team. It felt effortless. Right.
But for the grace of God.
Swallowing, Felicity forced herself to turn to William, to see he was watching her rather than his parents. Rather intently, too.
Okay, then. Round two.
God, this was hard.
Felicity scooted down to sit next to her boyfriend's (Oliver was right. That word was woefully inadequate) son, in the place that Oliver had just vacated.
"So, what are you playing?" Felicity asked, pointing to the tablet William was holding. That seemed a safe enough question.
But William frowned and shrugged. So…maybe not?
"Nothing good," William grunted. "Everything is restricted on this thing. It says it has wifi, but it won't let me get anywhere I want to go or download any good apps."
Well, that was something Felicity could do something about. Tech. A problem she could solve. Thank God.
Felicity gestured for William to hand her the tablet. "What do you want to play?"
William shrugged again, but he handed over the tablet and this shrug seemed more interested than despondent, at least. "I dunno. Roblox, maybe?"
He was watching her closely, eyes alternating between Felicity's face and her fingers as they flew over the screen. She flicked a look at William as she systematically began dismantling the tablet's straight jacket. It hurt her to see it. The poor baby.
"What's Roblox?" Felicity asked, absently, wondering if it was something she should know.
But it only earned Felicity her third shrug. "It's like Minecraft…only nothing like Minecraft."
O…kay… Felicity quirked an eyebrow at William.
Luckily that was enough to prompt William to explain, "I mean, it looks like Minecraft, kinda, but instead of just building stuff, you can make games and other people can play them on-line."
"That's cool." They hadn't had anything that cool when Felicity was William's age. Which might have been a good thing. She'd barely got off the computer as it was. "So you need to download the app?"
William nodded. "And access the internet to get to my account."
"The shouldn't be hard." Felicity's fingers worked their magic. It was relaxing, actually. And it seemed to impress William, so that was a bonus. "How do you spell it?"
"R-O-B-L-O-X. Are you going to marry my dad?"
R-O-B…what the…?
What?
Felicity's head snapped over, her wide eyes settling on William's frighteningly intense, and alarmingly intelligent, stare. "Excuse me?" and it might have come out in an embarrassing squeak.
"Are you and my dad going to get married?" William repeated, pronouncing it more carefully…as if that would keep the question from making Felicity's brain explode.
Because it wasn't like they hadn't…set a date and had a venue and a rabbi and…
Dear God, they would have already had their one-year anniversary by now. If things had things been different.
And the boy sitting in front of her was indirectly the reason they hadn't.
Now, William wanted to know if they were getting married and Felicity had no idea if it was something the boy wanted or not. She had no idea if it was something she wanted…
No, it was something she wanted. Definitely…eventually. In future.
How near a future wasn't something that Felicity had really let herself contemplate again. Forever, sure, but engagement? Marriage? That was a no-fly zone for her brain for the last, oh…year or so.
But, now, here Felicity was, sitting with Oliver's son, who she had met less than 24 hours ago and…
And, apparently, Felicity was taking too long to answer because William frowned and followed up with, "Are you going to be my step-mom?"
Lovely. This kid and his one-two punches. "Um…it's com—"
William groaned. Loudly. "Please, don't say it's complicated.
And, that, incredibly, made Felicity laugh. Okay, then.
"Oliver and I haven't talked about it. This time," Felicity told him as honestly as she could. Because what else could she say? That their last engagement had ended so traumatically that she hadn't let herself think about it? And was she really supposed to discuss this with William before she discussed it with Oliver?
Apparently, William thought so.
Narrowing his eyes at her, he gave Felicity a look that was both skeptical and confrontational. Wow, William was quite the little interrogator. That look alone.
Fine. Felicity blew out a breath. "Your father and I were engaged, but we…we broke up and are just recently back in a relationship. We haven't discussed marriage since getting back together." Being together forever, yes. Marriage, no. Which, now that she thought about it, seemed like a very weird distinction, but William didn't know that and didn't need to, so she met his frightening serious gaze and said plainly, "That's the whole truth."
Just…please, don't ask why they broke up. Please, don't ask why they broke up….
"Why'd you break up?"
Frak.
Felicity wasn't going to catch a break, was she?
Okay. Felicity was gonna try brief, but honest. "He lied to me."
And, amazingly, William just nodded, accepting the answer. Thank God. "Why did you get back together, then?"
"He stopped lying." Which was also accurate, if the over simplification of the century. But it did seem to satisfy William and he nodded sagely. This kid was an old soul.
William even gave Felicity two whole minutes to relax and work on finding his app.
Then, "So, you're probably going to get married soon, then?"
Felicity couldn't help but laugh. God, this kid was tenacious. Wonder where he got that from?
Lowering her voice, she confessed, "I would like to marry your father. One day." Felicity tried to keep her voice soft enough to not be overheard (again, really would prefer to discuss this with Oliver first). Unfortunately, Slade just happened to be five feet away…
Crap. Slade's face turned and he fixed her with a look, half-smile and, one eyebrow up, (which did looked extra roguish with the eye patch).
Scrunching up her face, Felicity sent Slade a 'don't give me that look' look, resisting the urge to stick out her tongue at him (she was the adult here). Because, seriously, this was hard enough, she didn't need this from Slade of all people.
Chuckling to himself, Slade just shook his head, turning back to his magazine (thankfully). Though, if he thought Felicity didn't notice his eye (singular, one eye, which was a little weird) dancing with amusement…yeah, she did.
"One day? What does that mean?" William demanded, pulling Felicity's attention back to him. Lovely, an amused ex-villain and an irate ten year-old.
Seriously, Felicity wasn't sure how she was going to handle this. Like emotionally. She wanted to go back to bed. Preferably, with Oliver. And lock the rest of the world away.
Because right now, Felicity's brain was tripping over the fact that she had just had a conversation with William's mother about how short life was and now all Felicity could think about was how sick she was of wasting it.
Yeah, what did 'one day' mean? What the hell were they… she waiting for?
And what was Felicity supposed to tell William? 'Look, kid, I'm as confused and frustrated by this as you are. I wish it were less complicated. I wish the answers were clearer. But I'm fraking clueless.'
That would go over well.
Maybe, telling the truth was harder than it looked.
But she needed to say something. William's annoyance at her delay was palpable. And growing. "It means that…" Felicity had no fricken clue.
So, William finished for her, "That you don't want to tell me."
Felicity was the one grunting in frustration now. "No. It means, I don't know. Sometimes, when adults don't give you the answer you want, it doesn't mean they're holding back, it just means they don't know."
William frowned. Maybe, he even pouted a little. He pulled his leg to his chest and rested his chin on it, grunting, "Sometimes, I think adults make things complicated on purpose. Things that could be really simple."
Out of the mouth of babes.
Having no idea what to say to that, Felicity focused on the tablet. It was so much less stressful than this conversation…which was starting the rival the one with Samantha.
And, of course, now all Felicity could think about was marriage. And the life her and Oliver had planned, before it all went to crap. Everything they had dreamed of. And now…
Marriage was a huge step. Wasn't it? Was it strange that it really didn't feel huge at all?
"What are you waiting for?" William asked in a whisper and Felicity had to do a double-take. For a moment, she thought it came from her own mouth, not his.
This kid was insightful and straightforward. A dangerous combination. But, still, Felicity didn't have answer for William, especially since it was becoming clear that platitudes would not only be dismissed, but treated with the utmost disdain.
At least, William seemed to want them to get married. That was something. God, how awful would it be if he was against it? Or if he held some sort of fantasy that Oliver would get together with his mother? That kind of made Felicity shudder just thinking about it.
Before Felicity could come up with an answer…an answer other than 'I don't know,' William blurted out, "My dad said you were the love of his life."
Felicity's eyes flew to William, warmth flooding her. It was really hard not to grin like a loon. "He did?"
"Yes. Is he yours?"
Wow. Wow and wow, this kid…
"Yes." At least that was a question Felicity knew the answer to. She glanced up and saw Slade's lip quirking again and had the urge to chuck a cold piece of toast at him.
William seemed to relax. It was clear that this, at least, was the answer he wanted. Thank goodness. "So, what are you waiting for?"
Fine. Felicity gave up. "You know what, William, that is an excellent question and I promise that I will give it some serious thought, even talk to your dad about it, but right now…I need your Roblox username."
Williams' face shuttered up so fast that it made Felicity dizzy. Was he really that upset that she had put off the question…?
Biting his lip, William asked, "You promise you won't tell anyone?"
Blowing out a relieved breath, Felicity gave her first truly easy answer of the conversation, "Of course not." It was funny what things kids found important.
"Even to my dad?"
"Cross my heart." Felicity demonstrated, smiling at him. "We don't keep secrets from each other, but I'm sure he'll understand under the circumstances." It was a kid's username, why would Oliver care?
Swallowing, William glanced the screen, then at Slade, before coming up onto his knees to whispering in Felicity's ear, "CaptainGreenArrow06."
And…Felicity swore to God, it brought tears to her eyes. It was the sweetest thing she had ever heard…ever and, wow, it was going to be a lot harder to keep that a secret than she thought.
But she would. Because it was important to William. And it was his secret to tell.
Nodding, because she didn't trust her voice, Felicity typed the name into the tablet. The screen changed as it loaded and she handed the tablet back to William.
As soon as his game came up, William's hands flew over the screen and a square looking character dressed in green, with a bow in one hand and a Captain America type shield (but with green circles and an arrow head in the center), appeared. In small print, above the character, was 'CaptainGreenArrow06.'
"Is that you?" Felicity asked in a whisper.
Blushing and gnawing on his lip, William nodded.
"He is sooo cool."
Because, OMG, it was so fraking cool.
William shot Felicity a wide grin. "I modified him myself."
Her eyebrows flew up. "Like…in the code?" William nodded and before Felicity could even think about it she held out her fist and William bumped it. "That is impressive." He was her kinda kid.
William blushed again and did that shrug thing he seemed to like to do. Felicity realized she was going to have to learn the different William shrugs. It was like a secret William language.
"I just combined a Green Arrow mod with a Captain America mod, so it wasn't really that big a deal."
Humble too. Felicity really liked this kid. "Well, if you like coding Curtis and I could show you some things."
"Cool!" William beamed at her.
Felicity watched William play for a few minutes and reached for her coffee. She realized that she had left it behind at the table with Samantha. Was it worth going back for? Ugh.
Then Felicity noticed Williams full plate. How long had it been since he had a meal? "Did you eat?"
William shrugged. That damn shrug.
Rolling her eyes, Felicity pushed the plate toward him. "Eat something." Did she sound parental? She should sound parental, right? Just not too parental. Step-parental…but in a good way.
Without looking up, William reached out and touched his bacon. "It's cold," he announced with disgust, shoving it away. I complete and absolute dismissal.
Okay, then.
Maybe, Felicity needed to give Samantha more slack. This parenting thing…especially, the little things like answering questions and getting a kid to eat…so much harder than it looked.
Felicity pushed the coffee table away and William looked up as it caused his tablet to fall to his knees. "Hey."
"Come on," Felicity climbed to her feet. "You need to get something warm to eat and I need more coffee."
William frowned, but he got to his feet and followed Felicity back to the buffet. Win for her?
At the buffet, Felicity's focus was on preparing her coffee (and her obsessive thoughts of marriage, ugh) when William asked, "Hey, can I have a chocolate muffin?"
"Sure," Felicity answered without thinking, because why couldn't he have a chocolate muffin? It was breakfast. But, then…
William looked positively gleeful at Felicity's answer. Oh frak. Something wasn't right here, but the oversized muffin was already in his hand.
"Did your mom say you couldn't have a chocolate muffin?" Felicity asked, narrowing her eyes.
William shot her such an innocent look. A full-on Queen-style puppy-dog face and damn if it wasn't even more powerful on his young face. Dammit!
Felicity rolled her eyes (that was the only defense she had against the puppy-dog eyes, weak though it was) and, sighing, she muttered, "Just…have some fruit with it or something."
"Okay," William agreed. A little too quickly and a little too cheerfully. It made Felicity certain she had done something wrong.
What did she miss? Protein! William needed protein. "And…drink some milk." That had protein, right?
"Can it be chocolate?" asked the master negotiator.
Why not? "Sure." It still had protein in it, didn't it? The chocolate didn't deplete the protein content or anything? Plus, chocolate has antioxidants. Besides, the kid had just survived his second kidnapping by a psychopath in just over a year, his life had been turned upside down, let him have some chocolate in his damn milk.
Felicity practiced saying that in her head, just in case Samantha called her out on it. Without the 'damn' part.
William didn't even wait to get the massive muffin on his plate before shoving half of it in his mouth, which really seemed improbable given its size. Yet, somehow, he managed it.
"Mmm. Thank you, Felicity." At least, that's what she thought William said. It was hard to tell with his mouth full of muffin.
It just intensified the feeling that she had done something wrong. But luckily for Felicity, the door opened, drawing both of their attentions as Digg walked in, JJ sitting high on his arm, Lyla and a man Felicity didn't recognize, behind them.
So, that's where Digg's been. Felicity hadn't know that JJ was on the ship, but it made sense that the boy and his mother were John's focus.
"JJ here," the toddler announced, waving enthusiastically.
And, now, everyone was aware that he was on board. Smiling, Felicity leaned toward William and whispered, "That's Lyla and John's son, JJ."
"Let me guess, John jr?" William drawled dryly. He was a sarcastic one. Felicity liked it.
She shook her head. "Jacob Jamison." William's eyes flew to Felicity and she just smiled. "Naw, you were right. It's John Jr."
William rolled his eyes, giving her an all-adults-are-so-lame look, but he smiled as he polished off his muffin. Felicity shoved a banana at him out of pure guilt.
"Unca Owie!"
JJ's loud declaration, again, pulled Felicity's eyes across the room and she met Lyla's eyes. "He's still in his loud phase, huh?"
Lyla grimaced. "Yup. Hoping for an end to that one anytime now."
JJ paid zero attention to his mom. Instead, he lunged for Oliver, who appeared out of nowhere to catch him. Felicity watched like the besotted, love-sick fool she was as Oliver greeted his godson…
Until her eye caught William, who was also giving Oliver and JJ his full attention, but with a thoughtful, sad, look on his face. Felicity moved closer and placed her hand gently on his back.
William glanced up at Felicity for a moment but his eyes were immediately drawn back to Oliver and JJ. As if he couldn't stop watching if he wanted to. "He would have been a great dad, wouldn't he have?" he whispered.
It was a bit of a gut punch and it was on the tip of Felicity's tongue to say Oliver was and still will be a good dad to him, but…but that wasn't what William meant. Crap. "You mean when you were little?"
William nodded, the look in his eyes heartbreaking and, maybe, even a little lost.
Felicity took a deep breath and…and really thought about it. This might be the hardest question she'd been asked yet. Right now, this Oliver, her Oliver, the one she was in love with…she had no doubt that he would be an amazing father, baby on up, but ten years ago…
"Maybe. I didn't know your dad back then, but…" William turned to give Felicity his full attention, head tilted as he considered her words. Frak, guess she would have to choose them carefully. "By all accounts, that Oliver was a big jerk back then," she told him softly.
"Maybe having me would have helped him grow up," William argued in a whisper.
He really was a smart kid and Felicity couldn't say she hadn't thought of that herself. "Maybe, but…William, Oliver isn't the same man that your mom met. The island he was stranded on changed him. He would say for the worse, but, I…I would very much disagree."
William turned his eyes back to Oliver who was now holding JJ right side up, saying something in his ear that made JJ laugh loudly. "It made him a hero," William murmured.
"Yes, it did." Felicity followed William's eyes as they moved from Oliver to Samantha, who was, herself, looking at Oliver with an almost wistful look. "And, honestly, William, if Oliver was the man he is today, ten years ago I'm sure your mom wouldn't have kept you two separated."
At least, Felicity hoped not. She was trying to give Samantha more credit, give her the benefit of the doubt. But, of course, the Oliver he was today wouldn't have gotten some girl he barely knew pregnant…
William sagged a bit, worrying his lip. "But that doesn't mean my mom—"
Again, Felicity was saved by JJ as he screamed out, "An Wicity!"
Oliver placed the boy on his feet and, instantly, JJ barreled toward her. Felicity was grateful for the reprieve, but…she leaned down to catch and scoop JJ up before he tackled her knees, very possibly knocking her to the floor. JJ might only be two and half, but this kid was a mini-linebacker.
"Hey there, Little John," Felicity said, kissing his cheek and trying to get the very solid little boy settled in her arms. "Wow, you're getting big." And heavy.
JJ threw his arms out in a muscle-man pose, lowering his voice and announcing, "Big John!"
"Whoa!" Felicity threw a hand out to try and steady the toddler before he flipped backward on her much-smaller-than-daddy's arm and William stepped forward to do the same. Felicity smiled at him gratefully as she told JJ. "Careful, I'm not as strong and dexterous as daddy and Uncle Oliver."
JJ frowned at her. "Dex…?"
William laughed. "She sure likes fancy words, doesn't she?"
At that point, JJ turned bright eyes to the older boy, seeming to notice him for the first time and looking him over with considerable interest. "Who you?"
The manners on this kid. Chuckling, Felicity hushed him, "Give me a chance, Little John. This is William."
A wide smile spread over JJ's face and he waved. "Hi, Willm."
William grinned back, "Hey, little dude."
Well, this was going quite nicely. It made Felicity feel rather warm and mushy inside. "JJ, William is Uncle Oliver's son," she told him, imagining that would endear him to toddler even more.
But for some reason JJ frowned, a tiny V forming between his eyes. "No."
No? Felicity laughed, though a tiny niggle of anxiety started up in her belly. "Yes. William is Oliver's son, like you are John's son."
JJ looked at William suspiciously now. Then he turned skeptical eyes to Felicity. "Unca Owie no son."
Oh crap. This has a potential to go really really badly.
Thankfully, William just smiled at JJ and said, "It's confusing, isn't it, little dude?" JJ nodded, his eyes wide. "My mom and dad aren't married and my mom and I live in a different city."
Tipping his head to the side, JJ seemed to be considering this, but he still had a this-doesn't-compute look on his face.
Why were kids so hard? Why couldn't they just accept what they were told? Felicity really needed to find a direction manual somewhere, because she was feeling way over her head.
Then William sent Felicity an anxious look, like he was completely out of ideas as how to explain this to JJ and Felicity…zero clue how to handle this. She was actually considering sending the toddler back to his parents, because she was so out of her depth, when William grabbed a second chocolate mega-muffin.
"Hey, JJ, you want a chocolate muffin?"
Apparently, chocolate muffins were the answer to all of life's dilemmas because JJ yelled, "Yeah!" and lunged toward William and the muffin. This kid was way too used to being around strong, coordinated people.
Luckily, William was very much Oliver's son and caught the (not so small) toddler just as JJ's small hands closed around the huge muffin.
Uh oh. Not again. "JJ are you allowed…?"
And…too late. JJ shoved as much of the muffin as could physically fit into his small mouth. And then some.
Okay, then. Maybe, Lyla was distracted. Maybe, she wouldn't notice that Felicity was feeding the children what may or may not be semi-forbidden breakfast foods.
"Mamma! Choclit Muffn!" JJ announced, holding up a fist full on muffin remains.
And, damn, these kids! Felicity was starting to believe they were way too honest.
Lyla's eyes found them from across the room and she shook her head with a rueful little smile. "I see. Who said you could have a muffin?"
"Willm!" JJ immediately announced, pointing to his new friend. And Felicity was just glad she hadn't been thrown under the bus. Lyla couldn't be angry at William. He was just a kid
But William…he looked semi-panicked at the accusation and blurted out, "Felicity said we could."
And…hello, bus her old friend.
It wasn't even accurate. No one asked Felicity if JJ could have a muffin, just William. And then…
Samantha leaned over in her chair to get a good look at William. Giving a very mom-look, she gestured to her cheek…right where William has a huge smear of chocolate from where he had just devoured his own massive muffin. "I see JJ isn't the only one having dessert for breakfast."
Frak! No one told Felicity chocolate muffins were dessert. They're muffins. Muffins equaled breakfast! Not dessert!
If possible, Samantha's mom gaze speared even more intently at her son. "I don't suppose you ate your eggs first?"
Well…Samantha's tone wasn't that angry. That was something, at least? Right?
"Um…" Williams guilty eyes found Felicity and…
She panicked, okay? Felicity full on, outright freaked-out panicked.
Which, of course, meant the babble to end all babbles.
"I thought muffins were muffins and they were breakfast. Is that in a manual somewhere, that kids can't have chocolate muffins for breakfast? I have chocolate muffins for breakfast all the time. When I have something with my coffee. Most of the time it's just coffee. I didn't give them coffee. I swear. And William promised he'd have fruit and milk too…"
William nodded, holding up the banana as evidence. It would have helped if it had been opened.
Crap. And Felicity's mouth kept going. "And William hadn't eaten anything. No eggs, nothing. It's been like days. Isn't a chocolate muffin better than not eating anything? And—"
"Breathe, Felicity. It's okay," Samantha finally interrupted and she didn't even look mad. She was even smiling (a little). "I'm not upset. Besides, William knew better. He was just taking advantage of the newbie." She turned to William, who now had an irritated almost-teenager look firmly on his face. "Don't get used to it. Felicity won't be a newbie for long."
The irritation fled from William's face with lightning speed and his eyes widened. "Does that mean we're moving to Star City?"
JJ, realizing he was no longer the center of attention, wriggled out of Williams arm's and scampered away. Felicity didn't notice where, she was completely focused on William and his mother.
When Samantha didn't immediately deny it, William let out a whoop and threw himself at her. "Thank you, Mom!"
But Samantha sighed, putting up a hand and stopping him. "Sweetheart…"
William grunted, frowning as he drew back. "Mo-om…"
Taking his hands, Samantha drew the boy in between her knees, "William, sweetie. I'm considering moving to Star City."
Looking skeptical, like he wasn't sure if this was a win or not, William narrowed his eyes and asked, "Are you just saying that to—?"
"I'm saying that," Samantha said firmly, "because that's what I mean. I'm thinking it over very carefully. Look, you keep telling me to treat you like a big kid—"
"I'm not a kid!" Felicity didn't think that William stomped his foot, but she'd swear that he wanted to.
And, immediately, Samantha backtracked. "Sorry. Sorry. I meant tween. You want me to stop treating you like a little kid and treat you like the young man you are, right?"
William nodded, though he looked sullen and more like that little kid than Felicity had seen so far.
"Well, then, you are going to have to accept that I need time to think about where we are going to live. I don't want to make a promise I can't keep and I can't make this kind of decision overnight."
Scoffing, William rolled his eyes. He was almost as good at that as he was at shrugging. "That's how you decided about New Hampshire." And he, somehow, managed to sound both accusing and like a lost little boy at the same time. But he never let go of his mother's hands.
This time, it was Samantha who scoffed. "Yeah, and look where that got us." Now her tone was wheedling and she wiggled William's arms as she smiled up at him. "Am I right?"
William finally gave her the smallest of smile. "I hate New Hampshire."
"So do I," Samantha agreed, rather passionately, and that earned her an even bigger smile. "Which is why we won't be going back there."
Hope flashed in William's too blue eyes. "So…?"
"I'm considering both Star City and Central City," Samantha told him firmly. In a tone that brooked no further arguments.
Felicity really doubted that was going to stop William, though. Not Mr. The-Queen-Stubbornness-Is-In-My-Blood.
But Felicity was rather shocked when William just slumped, pouting a little, almost whining when he said, "I'd rather live in Star City." He really did sound so much younger when he was talking to his mother.
"That is one of the things I'm considering." The way Samantha said it would satisfy Felicity, but, then again, she wasn't a traumatized 10 year-old boy.
"But dad's in Star City."
Felicity almost winced because she wasn't sure that was a selling point for Samantha.
"You will get to see your father either way," Samantha promised gently and it brightened William considerably and made Felicity smile. Then Samantha lowered her voice and cajoled, "And we just might have to get you a phone. Even though ten is way too young for a cell-phone."
William seemed conflicted, which didn't seem to be the response Samantha was hoping for. Or expecting. Felicity considered jumping in and promising she'd trick out that phone, but wasn't sure it was her place to interfere.
Should she even be watching? Her eyes found Oliver and he was watching just as intently and, if Felicity knew him, and she did, she'd swear he was holding his breath.
"I'd rather move to Star City than have a phone," William finally whispered.
Felicity's hand flew to her mouth. It was the only thing that kept the sob inside as her eyes filled with tears and her gaze instinctively found Oliver again. He was looking right back at her with an emotional smile and watery eyes. Felicity moved to Oliver's side and his arm fell naturally around her shoulders, pulling her to him.
And Samantha's face…there were tears in her eyes too as what William said sunk in. She reached up and cupped William's face, her voice raspy as she pleaded, "Just give me a few days to figure everything out. Okay, sweetheart?"
William nodded, but his face was still so sad as he whimpered a small, "Okay."
"And, William, don't you ever doubt that I love you." And now Felicity really felt like she should turn away, but she couldn't make herself move. "I love you so much—"
Samantha's voice crackled and William's face crumbled.
"I know. I know, I'm sorry."
"I know you are, sweetie. But the things you said last night…they aren't okay. You know that."
"I know. I know," William, sobbed, really crying now, looking so very young, tugging at each and every one of Felicity's heartstrings.
"It's okay, sweetie."
William threw himself into Samantha's arms, sobbing into her shoulder, babbling a litany of, "I love you, mommy. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it."
"Shhh…" Samantha hushed him, burying her own face in her son's shoulder and soothing him with long strokes down his back and…Felicity was finally able to turn away.
Lucky for her, Felicity turned right into Oliver's arms, his chest right there, the perfect place to bury her face, because this…all of this was becoming way too much.
Oliver's arms enveloped her, folding her in comfort, as he turned both of them away from the emotional scene. He cupped the back of Felicity's head and leaned his cheek against her hair.
And, wow. That was…intense.
Felicity balled her fists into the back of Oliver's shirt and…she was just so grateful that he was here. That they were together. This was the way things were supposed to be. She was so grateful for every single person in this room, but mostly Oliver and…she really needed to call her mother.
And…
Felicity was so very done wasting time. Guarding her heart.
Love.
Family.
That was what was important.
And it was too important to hesitate. Felicity just needed to jump in with both feet and pray for the best.
Lyla cleared her throat, giving everyone an excuse to turn their attention to her and give William and Samantha some privacy.
"Oliver, Felicity, I want you both to meet Captain Mitchell, of the United States Navy. He's the Commanding Officer of this ship and graciously agreed to join ARGUS on this mission." Lyla gestured to a kindly looking older man in Naval Uniform.
Oliver held out his hand to the man and he took it in a firm handshake. "Captain, Sir. Thank you." Oliver's voice held a firm and genuine sort of gratitude that…Felicity didn't know why, but it made her tears come harder, fall faster.
She really was a wreck. Trying to compose herself, Felicity forced a smile and wiped her eyes hastily with the back of her hand, then turned and offered the Captain her hand as well and squeezing Oliver tight with the other.
"Yes. Thank you, Captain." Felicity was surprised at how steady her voice was, because she felt anything but.
"My pleasure, ma'am." His handshake was gentle and he (believe it or not) gave her a little bow. He was quite a gentleman, this captain…
The conversation started up around her, but Felicity couldn't hear. Blood had started to roar in her ears.
The ship's captain…
She was so done waiting…
"So, you're a captain?" Felicity blurted out, interrupting whatever conversation had been going on around her and drawing stares. They thought she was crazy. "Of this ship?"
Maybe, she was crazy. But just a little.
"Yes, indeed," the Captain answered, still smiling. He was the only one not looking at Felicity like she had lost it.
Oliver was frowning down at her. "Fel—"
"Can you marry people?"
Felicity could feel Oliver stiffen at her words, his breath catching and his hand spasming at her waist. There might have been a soft gasp in the background.
But Captain Mitchell just grinned wider. "Well, actually, I can. I have. It's a funny story—"
Normally, Felicity would care, but…
"Can you marry us?"
Revised 1/17/18
Author's Note:
Okay, so wow that was a long chapter. I think I got comfortable with the shorter ones again. Please, let me know if it was too long. They are easy enough to split. :-). There is so much in here this is going to be a long author's note so bare with me.
So, Felicity didn't have to use her loud voice and on re reading I did wonder if the Samantha issue was resolved too quickly (not that it's 100% resolved, but it's so much better), but this story can't go on forever. I hope, you, like Felicity understand where Samantha is coming from a little more now. The part at the end where William forgives his mom and asks for forgiveness is reminiscent of the end of so many of my kid's meltdowns. I hope it resonates and is as real as I felt it was.
The chocolate muffin…I might have gotten obsessed with the chocolate muffin (I rewind a bit in the next chapter with Oliver's pov and the muffin comes back). If it isn't obvious, it started to represent every stupid little parenting decision that we agonize over and second guess and judge each other for, that feels so important (but probably isn't), especially as a new parent. I hope it was funny too.
I have JJ here and I know many (maybe, most) prefer Baby Sara, but Baby JJ is who we have and that's who I'm going with in this verse. Hopefully, he was like-able.
If you don't know what ROBLOX is, it's exactly as William describes. It looks kinda like Minecraft but kids can build their own games and play each other's. At least, that's how my kids described it. Around here, anyway, it's THE hot game that all the kids 6-12 play on their tablets and computers. Mostly, I used it as a way for Felicity and William to bond.
The usual thank yous so much to Fairytalehearts, Imusuallyobsessed, and Ireland1733 who are now having to flip back and forth between fics with me.
Thank you all so much!
Emmy
