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"Is this just some weird joke I don't understand?" I asked. He couldn't be serious. It was just too absurd.

He paced around in front of me, not making eye contact. He looked too anxious. I was starting to think this wasn't a joke.

"Unfortunately, its the truth." He sighed.

"I don't know what to say." I shook my head, hoping that maybe something would click. And I would suddenly understand. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I'm so sorry."

"How?" I asked, not expecting an answer.

"We worked the case for two weeks, and we just kept going around in circles." He ran his hands through his hair. He was stressed. My natural reaction was to hug him, but right now, I just couldn't believe what he was saying. Kevin was a great detective, as were Javi and Beckett. It just seemed like too much to believe that out of all of the detectives in the city, he was the one who screwed it up.

"So you just gave up on her?" I felt tears coming.

"You don't understand." He took a deep breath. "We try so hard to get closure for the victims' family and friends. Sometimes the leads we get, just lead us back to where we started." He finally looked at me. His eyes had changed. They were so dark, like something had drained the life out of them. He looked like a wreck.

I couldn't stand to look at him, right now. I was just feeling too many emotions at the moment. I needed to think about things.

I walked away from him. I felt like I was going on circles. Maybe I was dreaming. I sat down on my couch, and desperately tried to force myself awake. I suddenly felt heat close to me. I knew it was him.

"I know it doesn't mean much to you, but I wish more than anything that I could go back in time and make everything right." He bent down next to me.

I crossed my arms at my chest. I was conflicted. I didn't know if I wanted to scream or cry.

"Why can't you?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why can't you reopen the case?" Maybe now, with fresh eyes they wouldn't have a better chance.

He looked down and sighed. "Sweetie, I wish I could, but its not that simple."

"Why not?" I was getting more and more agitated. I was so close to getting answers and I wasn't going to let it go so easily.

"That case went cold five years ago. The only way we could reopen it, is if we had new evidence and we don't have that."

I was hearing what he was saying, but it didn't matter to me right now. All that mattered was getting the answers I so desperately needed. I needed answers, not just for me, but for Shane and Drake as well. Most importantly, I needed answers for Tess. I knew it was crazy, but maybe if the person who killed her was caught, and I helped make that happen, then it would show her how much I loved and cared about her.

"So you are telling me that there is nothing you can do? Her killer just gets to roam free?" My hands were starting to shake. I was getting too worked up. It just made me so mad. What kind of world were we living in, when killers got to live their lives without consequences? How could he just accept this? Did he care?

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that! It's not a cure all! It doesn't just make everything better!" He jumped, when I raised my voice. That was the first time I ever raised my voice at him. It felt odd. I always saw him as a sweet and gentle person. Now, I saw him in a new light. I got up and started pacing.

"I don't know what I can do to make this better." He sounded like he had a lump in his throat. I couldn't see him cry. I just couldn't.

"I guess there's nothing you can say." What was I supposed to do with this? What were you supposed to do, when the person you trusted and loved, turned out to be the person who let you down the most?

"Cheyenne, I'm sorry." He came towards me. "I love you so much. You are so great and amazing to me. Last night when you listened to me talk about my day, you helped make it a thousand times better. I trust you and know you would do anything for me." I wiped away a tear from my eye. "I would do anything for you. It just kills me that I have let you down like this."

I couldn't think clearly. Too much was going on. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. I took a deep breath. A method I had learned from Javi. When I was interning for Lanie, I would get stressed about paperwork and Javi would tell me to take a deep breath, and then I would feel better, but his method wasn't working right now.

I didn't matter what either one of us said, it wouldn't change the facts. Her killer would still be out there living their life, while my sister was in a hole.

It was time for the truth.

"Kevin," I turned to face him. "I have something really difficult to tell you, but you need to know why this means so much to me."

"I do know. She was your best friend." He got closer and I took a step back. That clearly hurt him. "I couldn't imagine how I would feel if something like that ever happened to Javi." Just the thought of that, made us shudder.

"You don't understand." I choked out. More tears were falling. "Tessa was my best friend." I took a breath. This was so hard. "She was my sister." I spat out. His eyes grew bigger. They were so dark and intense. I froze. What if he was pissed that I lied to him? I hadn't thought of that. I saw his jaw drop.

Suddenly the air got really think. I didn't know what would happen next, but it sure wasn't going to be anything good.

A couple of weeks later...

"Thanks for meeting up with me today." Javi said, once we were seated at a table. "We haven't had lunch for awhile."

"Thank you for inviting me. It's been too long." I wrapped my arms around myself, felling a little uneasy. I was a little apprehensive about coming today. I really missed Javi, and hadn't seen him in weeks, but he knew something personal about me, since he had found out from Kevin about how I really knew Tess. I knew Javi wouldn't bring it up, but having him know something that personal, made me feel exposed.

"I know. I've missed you, munchkin." He smiled. I smiled at the nickname. I hadn't heard it in awhile. Javi hardly ever called me Cheyenne. I guess he had an ex girlfriend in high school, who was named Cheyenne. He told me I was too sweet and innocent to share a name with, in his words, a she-devil.

"I've missed you too." I smiled back.

Javi had called me a couple weeks ago, after Kevin filled him in on Tess. He apologized and told me how terrible he felt. We ended up talking for a few hours that night. After that phone call, I felt a little better. Not as angry as I was. Javi helped me understand things from their perspective. He told me about the mental and emotional toll it took on them. He told me that sometimes he couldn't sleep. Sometimes, when he could sleep, he would have nightmares. They would last for weeks and sometimes months. He told me that often times, after a case that was either rough or left unsolved, he would have doubts about his abilities as a detective.

Javi helped me understand that I was taking my anger out on them, instead of realizing they weren't my enemies. My real anger was with Tess' killer. Now, I knew I could forgive Javi, Beckett, and Castle. They tried to help the best they could and that made me feel good. Javi was there to comfort me when nobody else was. He wasn't like Kevin. Kevin didn't lie to me, but he tried to protect me from certain things. Javi protected me too. He also told me the truth. Sometimes it was brutal, but that was his style. I knew he had a soft spot for certain people and I wasn't sure if I was now one of them.

Having Javi share something that personal with me, really made me feel special. It was like he let me see past his tough exterior, something I didn't expect, and under it all, he was tender. I never thought it would have happened. He must have been trying to comfort me, which was very sweet. I guess I shouldn't feel so weird about him having a deeper insight into my life. It was like now we were closer because we knew these things about each other.

It was good just hearing from him. Back when I was first interning for Lanie, I would only see him when they were working a case together. Then his visits became more frequent, possibly, because he and Lanie were hooking up behind everyone's back. Not that I blamed them. I had been hiding my relationship with Kevin. It made things easier, especially when it was a new relationship.

After awhile, though, every time he came down to the morgue, he would start up conversations with me. He would talk to me about anything and everything. He even made Lanie upset a few times, because of how much time he made me waste. After that, he would ask me to have lunch with him, so he wouldn't be interrupting my work. I liked hanging out with Javi. He was like another big brother.

So being able to hang out with him again, was a bit of a relief to me. I hadn't seen much of anyone from the precinct. Although, I would see Alexis every once in awhile, I always seemed to miss out on seeing Castle and Beckett. Truth to be told, it would be so easy to go see them. I missed all of them. I just couldn't. I knew Kevin was mad at me and having to face him and see that look on his face, was something I never wanted to have to face again.

If leaving a case unsolved could affect Javi in such a way, I knew it had to be more tough for Kevin. Having me lie to him, probably just made things worse. Why did I let things get so out of control?

After hearing Javi talk about how hard things were for them and now understanding that they did care for the victim's, I felt like I could forgive Kevin.

That didn't matter though, because Kevin wasn't talking to me anymore. After that night, we hadn't seen or heard from each other.

Lunch with Javi was as fun as I was hoped it would be. There was no pressure. He never brought up Kevin. He didn't really need to, because he was still in the dark about our relationship. Well, I didn't know if it was still a relationship anymore.

This lunch reminded me of how much fun I would have hanging out with him when I interned for Lanie. He made me laugh and smile until, my face hurt. Good old Javi.

We covered a wide variety of topics. Everything from Movies to Music, and of course Sports. We even got into a conversation about Castle. Castle apparently had a great theory about the latest case they were working on. He thought the killer was Bigfoot. I had to laugh at that one. People could say a lot about Castle, but they could never say he wasn't entertaining or creative.

I tried to bring up Lanie and him, but he didn't have much to say. It was too bad. I thought they looked really cute together.

When we were leaving the restaurant and saying our goodbyes, he gave me a worried look.

"Let's not wait so long before we do this again, deal?" He asked.

"Agreed." I smiled. He came over and gave me a hug. He smelled really good. He always had. Just going from the hug to the scent of his cologne made me feel a little more relaxed. It felt good being around him. I really had missed him. He was always so much fun and very caring. I always felt safe around Javi.

"Promise me something." He said, backing away.

"What's that?"

"Start eating better and get some sleep. Please?"

I hesitated. That took me by surprise. "What are you talking about?" It was a lame attempt.

"Come on, don't play dumb with me." He grabbed my hand.

"You don't need to worry, Javi." I tried my best to make him feel more comfortable. I could tell he was still not buying it. I put my head down.

"You hardly touched your food in there." He pointed towards the restaurant.

"I wasn't all that hungry." That statement was both true and false.

"I'm not stupid or blind." He gestured towards me. "You've lost weight."

"Is that a crime?" I laughed.

"No. I just don't think you're doing it the healthy way."

"Javi, I'm fine." I said, rubbing his arm.

"You are?" He was giving the look I never wanted to see. It was like he was reading my mind or looking into my soul.

"Okay. I haven't been eating so much here lately. I'm sorry." I looked away. "I've just been going through some things, but I am seriously okay, I promise you."

"Are you going to start eating more?" He asked, moving closer to me.

I looked at him and nodded.

"Get some sleep as well."

"I will try." I nodded, again.

He shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know." I hunched my shoulders.

"Between you and Ry, I am going to lose my mind." I flinched when I heard his name. "I should let you get going." He patted my arm. Before he could leave, I needed to ask him something.

"Javi?"

"What is it?"

"What were you talking about when you said, Kevin?"

"He's just been distant and moody lately."

"What do you mean?"

He gave me a weird look. "Well, like this case we are working on, he dives into it and only talks about the case. If I try to bring up something else, like him coming over to chill, he blows me off."

I put my head down. I couldn't help, but feel guilty as hell.

"He kind of looks like you."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"He looks like he hasn't eaten or slept in weeks."

"Wow." Was all I could say.

"Is there something I should know?"

"No." I shook my head. "I should get going. I have work in a little bit." I wished I could tell him, but I knew Javi would say something to Kevin and if I could stop things for being so hard on him, I would.

"Yeah, I should get back to work, too."

I nodded and was about to say bye, when he grabbed my left hand. "Call me, if you need anything, or just want someone to listen to you, okay? I'm here for you."

I couldn't help, but smile. "I know. I will let you know, if I need your help."

"You better." He winked, before taking off.

"Bye Javi." I called after him.

He turned around and smiled. "Bye, Munchkin." He called back.

I shook my head. That name. Drake used to call me that when I was 7. I was the shortest of all of my siblings. Even know I wasn't tall. 5'2, could hardly be considered an average height. Drake also called me by the nickname because growing up, I loved The Wizard of Oz. He used to relentlessly, make fun of me, telling me that I came from munchkin land. Soon, the name caught on and everyone started calling me by it. Nobody called me by that name anymore though, thankfully. Just Javi.

To be honest, it didn't bother me when Javi called me Munchkin. It wasn't so much an insult, as an term of endearment. I watched Javi walk away. It may have been because seeing him, automatically made me think of Kevin, but I really hated that he had to leave. I turned around and made my way to my car. I couldn't stop myself from looking back at him one more time, I didn't know why I felt the need to. I turned around to see him looking back at me. Was he flirting with me? I continued to my car. Why would he be flirting with me? He really needed to get back together with Lanie.