Love and Vengeance by BynWho

Chapter 12 – Understanding You

Day 5. Endeavor. Unknown Regions.

Abby believed in the Force, but she didn't believe she had the Force. Something the General said to her a while ago hinted that Abby might be sensitive to it, though. She certainly hoped so. She looked up and beside her stood Sage, smiling innocently. Abby looked on sadly at the ghost of her daughter. Though she would love to be with her again, Abby was not ready to die just yet. Sage reached her pale hand toward Abby and touched her shoulder. A chill ran down Abby's spine.

Love will save you, Mommy. You just need to believe, Sage told her.

Abby thought about Poe. She concentrated on his face and his voice. She willed Poe to feel her desperation. "I am One with the Force; the Force is with me," she recounted the old prayer of the Guardians. Tears formed in her eyes. "I am One with the Force; the Force is with me," she cried. "Hear me, Poe."

Ten days ago. New Republic Base. Naboo.

Abby stormed through the passages of the base to find the General. She needed to be debriefed and then she needed a hot shower. An ache had formed at the base of her skull and was currently waging war on her head. Poe, who was close behind, had been nagging her relentlessly ever since they jumped to hyperspace.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is, Poe. We got the intel we were after," she threw an angry look at him over her shoulder.

"That's not how we get intel, Tabitha! You know this! What you did... it—it was like torture!"

The use of her formal name stung. He knew she hated it; he had only used it to get a rise from her. She stopped abruptly, turned toward him and stuck her finger to his chest, pushing him back. "We. Got. The intel. I do whatever it takes to get the job done." she rebutted through clenched teeth.

Poe looked around and saw a small alcove to his right. He grabbed Abby's arm and steered her into the dark passage, dodging several people. It was small and they both barely fit. "What the hell?" Abby yelled, uncomfortable at their proximity.

Poe held on to her shoulders to try to calm her or to calm himself, he wasn't sure which. She knew how to get under his skin and it was frustrating him. "Abs, you know you can't keep doing this. We had a plan! You can't go in and blow everything to hell just to get the answers you want. You're better than that!"

"Yeah, you don't know me anymore, pal." She shrugged him off and left the alcove.

"Pal?" he scoffed. Poe followed her to General Organa's office door. He blocked her entrance to the office. "I know you better than you know yourself, Abs. This isn't you." She rolled her eyes at him and crossed her arms over her chest. Poe took a long breath. He realized that he wasn't getting through to her. "I can't keep doing this. From now on, leave me out of your missions, Major. I'm done." Poe turned on his heel and stomped off, leaving Abby to debrief the General on her own.

Present. New Republic Base. Naboo.

Poe slowly made his way to General Organa's office. She had requested his presence 15 minutes ago, but he wasn't too keen to follow orders right now. He had made a nice, albeit lonely, life for himself on Nar Shaddaa. He resented that the General found him. He resented that Abby was the one sent to fetch him. He resented the person that Abby had turned into. She was calculating, unfeeling, and loyal only to her cause: Vengeance. Poe supposed that some of that was his fault because he had left, but the majority of fault lay at the feet of the First Order. They had taken everything away from Abby and she slowly shut any light out. He couldn't help feeling bitter toward the General for taking advantage of Abby's skills and ruthlessness. Abby was a shadow of the woman he loved. He was sure she had manipulated him into coming back to the New Republic with her, planning every detail. It had been several months since they escaped Nar Shaddaa, but Poe was still hurt.

"You wanted to see me, General?" He waited outside the open door to the General's office.

Leia waved him in, "Yes, Poe, please. Have a seat." He walked into the room and plopped down into a chair across from her. "Tell me, how are things? Are you settling in?" she asked him.

In no mood for small talk, Poe tried to steer the General to the point, "What's this about?"

"Straight to the point, as usual, Commander," Leia bit out a little more harshly than she had intended. "As you know, Major Nemec was sent on an assignment in the Unknown Regions a week ago-"

"What's this got to do with me?" Poe interrupted. He wasn't going to make this easy.

Leia sighed. She could feel the indignation radiating off of the man in front of her. She felt it was time that Poe was told everything. "Did you know that it was Abby's idea to go find you? I thought you needed your space, but she argued with me. From the moment you left, she had felt uneasy and agitated. She grieved." It was hard for Poe not to roll his eyes. Abby had been very clear about her feelings toward him. He would only get in the way of her revenge on the First Order.

Leia continued, "She told me that she stayed behind because she felt she didn't deserve happiness. Not while she was being haunted by the ghosts of her family. She thought that if she could avenge their deaths, she could finally have some peace. But she soon realized that she needed you, your support, your friendship, not retribution. The longer you were gone, the more she missed you and the emptier she felt. She begged me, on several occasions, to let her go after you. When I finally agreed to let her try, she didn't rest. It was her only mission. Every day she was following up on some new lead. As it turns out, it wasn't revenge that she was after. She wanted to feel whole again."

Poe thought about the General's revelations for a long moment. He bent over and rested his head in his hands. "You know, if she had just told me this, just talked to me instead of pushing me away, I could've helped," he was irritated. So much time had gone by that they could have been together, but Abby's stubborn nature prevented that.

"True," Leia answered, "but neither of you have been very level-headed when it came to something you were passionate about. She loves you, Poe. I just think she's forgotten how to show it. She's been in the darkness for so long and hasn't known how to ask for help. She's afraid, Poe. Help her back to the Light."

Poe sat up and nodded to the General. He had a lot to think about before Abby returned from her mission. Did he even want to help Abby? Did he want to deal with all of the emotional baggage? Nothing he could do would bring back her family. But Poe knew, in his heart, that he wanted nothing more than to be with her. Even if helping her took the rest of their lives, he would gladly bring her back to the Light. Poe had never stopped loving Abby. "You said she was in the Unknown Regions. When is she due back?"

Leia looked away, briefly. "That's the problem. She hasn't checked in. The Endeavor is missing and I need you go find her. Take Rey and Chewie with you. Something's wrong, Poe, I felt danger."

"Why didn't you kriffing say so?" Poe jumped from his seat and with a plan already forming in his mind, quickly ran out of the office. Leia sighed in relief. If anyone can save Abby, from danger and from herself, it's her Flyboy.