Disclaimer: Thank you to everyone who reviewed my story
But a special shout out must got to 'suckerforlovestory' because this lovely person has always given me a review for my chapters, and giving me the confidence and lovely reviews so that I can continue the story and not feel like I'm wasting my time with it.
Also a shout out to 'xxRikkexx1' for reviewing most of my chapters too, and the questions you asked in the review may be in this next chapter, lets see?
I hope that everyone who reads my story loves it, because sometimes I get into my head that people don't like it, so I get put off-putting up another chapter without a few reviews (it's just me being paranoid, sorry :S)
But like always, please review if you read the story, because then I can see what you think about it
DoomedPhsyx2030
Kendall's p.o.v
Kendall stood staring in the bathroom mirror, glaring at his reflection with hate rid filling his jade green eyes, all because of one person. Ever since Jo broke up with him and everything happened, Kendall had began to question how he looked everyday, every morning staring into the mirror to check like a routine, hoping that he had changed somehow from the night before. He questioned his whole relationship with Jo, trying desperately to figure out what he did wrong to make Jo cheat on him, with Jett of all people. She had even done it behind his back while in the relationship, and it made Kendall feel even worse about himself, because the girl he loved with all his heart had smashed it to pieces and stomped on the smashed shards of his heart, wounding him more. Then there was the humiliation of Jo laughing in his face as he caught her lip-locked with Jett, no emotion other than happiness glistening in her eyes as she watched Kendall almost break down in tears. If Darcy had not been there to threaten Jo, Kendall would have broken at that moment. The same hurt filled jade green eyes stared back at him from last night, roaming all over his face, his lips turned down from being so unhappy. Bags had started to appear underneath his eyes, looking like large purple bags hanging horribly from his eyes, but when no one asked, nor took a look towards him, seeming to be interested in something else, Kendall felt like no one cared about him. He was breaking apart from his friends, who were almost practically like his brothers they were so close, but now? Kendall was alone in the bathroom, cursing himself in the mirror at how hideous he looked. The only person who would have noticed the slight change in Kendall, the mask that he shoved on his face to hide the pain he was feeling, would have been removed by Darcy and only her, but she was on tour, and on the more negative side, they pushed her away so violently that Kendall still felt the guilt
"Kendall sweetie, your breakfast will get cold if you don't hurry!" Mama Knight called, knocking on the door of the bathroom, shaking Kendall from his thoughts. He ripped his gaze from the mirror, staring down at his body and feeling more and more horrible about himself. He pulled himself together, forcing a smile onto his face, he wrenched the door open, making it crash into the door, startling everyone in the room. Mama Knight even dropped the plate she was washing with a small squeal, the smashing of the plate echoing around the room was a good sound to Kendall. Voices called out to him, but he only stared at the shards of the plate, because they looked exactly like his heart, smashed and lying forgotten on the floor for the next person to step over
James' p.o.v
Kendall didn't answer or react to anyone's questions, only staring at the shards of the plate that shattered moments ago. His eyes went blank, a glassy look in them as James looked at Kendall. His face was pale, completely contrasting against his usual look, and underneath his eyes were large purple bags that looked more like bruises. But the thing that made James do a double take was the look in Kendall's eyes, he had to look twice to make sure that he really was seeing the hurt deep inside Kendall's eyes now he was staring blankly ahead. They looked pained, like he was so close to breaking after everything that was happening, but there was another emotion that James couldn't put his finger on
"Kendall" James spoke softly, walking to his side so that he could see deeper into his eyes, but as soon as James saw his eyes beginning to focus, he managed to hide the pain that was running through his eyes before. Behind a concrete mask, but it made James more determined to find out what was wrong with Kendall. Before anyone could start to begin to talk to Kendall, James grasped his hand, dragging him harshly to the bathroom, ignoring the moans and complaints that Kendall shot at him. James pushed him inside first, making sure he shoved him hard so that he stumbled inside, almost crashing into the bath before he managed to stop himself
"James! Wha-" but before Logan managed to finish his sentence, James slammed the bathroom door closed, locking it with a swift flick of his wrist
"James! Open the door!" Kendall shouted, trying to shove James out of the way to get to the door, but he couldn't shove the taller boy to the side away from the door, he only managed to make himself stumble back into the sink. Kendall's face was beat red from embarrassment, but he looked pissed off because at James because he forced him into the bathroom against his will. There was anger in his jade eyes, that much was clear to James at the moment, because his hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides, his teeth gritted hard, but to James it was better than the look of hurt that had flashed and remained in Kendall's eyes moments ago, even if he didn't want to admit that. James only squared his shoulders, trying to show Kendall that he would not escape from the bathroom without getting through James first, but he knew that Kendall would try to push his luck and shove his way past James
"No, not until you tell me everything that's happening!" James shouted, pushing Kendall at his shoulder when he moved forward, but Kendall moved his hands to his chest, palm forwards in front of him to push James out of the way, but James was faster than Kendall, sending him back into the sink with a loud crash
"There's nothing to tell!" Kendall shouted back, throwing up his hands but not looking at James in the face, his gaze to the floor as he shouted the words, his hands balled into fists at his sides. James felt guilt hit his chest, making his heart ache at the look Kendall was giving him, but he desperately wanted the answers, even if it meant that he would make the 'unofficial leader' of Big Time Rush cry. James knew that Kendall was hiding something from them all, bottling the emotions up, but it looked like he was close to bursting at the seams. He needed to get something off his chest, and James thought that it would be best if he let it out on him, because the others were sensitive, and if Kendall let it all out at once, James knew that it would be a horrible sight to see
"Kendall come on man, you've got to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours" James spoke, trying to make it sound soft, but it came out more of him snapping it, because he moved towards Kendall, poking Kendall in his head to make his point. Kendall only slapped his hand away, turning his back on James
"There is nothing wrong with me!" Kendall snapped through gritted teeth that James didn't need to look at him to know. But suddenly Kendall flung himself back, shoulder first, into James' chest, forcing him to stumble back into the door with a loud crash. The door jumped as James crashed into it, Kendall having a softer landing because he crashed into James. James grunted as he collided into the door, sliding down the wood, giving Kendall the perfect opportunity to scrabble for the door handle in a feeble attempt to force open the door. But James recovered, quicker than he expected, but a feeling of extremely angry crawling through his veins because Kendall was hiding something from him, hiding everything from him, his brother. With a rebel cry filled with anger ripped raw from his throat, James lunged for Kendall, crashing into his mid-section and wrapping his arms around Kendall's abdomen, forcing him down on the floor with another loud crash, someone banging on the door as they screamed something, but through his anger James couldn't hear anything. Kendall fought underneath him, thrashing left and right to cry to gain leverage over James, but the taller of the two grasped Kendall's wrists, crashing them on the floor and restraining them there. Kendall still decided to fight against James, still thrashing hard and kicking up his legs
"Kendall! Stop now!" James snarled directly in Kendall's face, leaning closer towards him to allow James to make his point, but James froze as Kendall met his stare. The sheer look of sadness was now so clear that James was glued to Kendall's eyes from the emotion, his eyes looking like they were going to burst into tears at any moment, but Kendall was trying to hold them back
"Let me go James!" Kendall snarled, lifting his knee from underneath James while he sat frozen staring at Kendall, not seeing what he was about to do. James was thrown back, his back colliding heavily with the door as it jumped again, a pain in his chest from an unknown source, but James could guess. Kendall quickly shot to his feet, backing away from James and threatening him to come closer with a single look in his jade eyes
"Tell me Kendall" James spoke, his voice much calmer now that he had managed to almost take his anger out on Kendall, who stood near the bath tub, his legs shaking like jelly, his face white like he would pass out at any minute. Now James could hear the others banging on the door to the bathroom, Logan's frantic yelling somehow being muffled by the door
"Logan shut up!" James shouted, craning his neck so he screamed at the door so that he didn't need to open the door, giving Kendall the perfect chance to escape, even though that James was almost there at cracking Kendall into telling him what was wrong. Logan never ceased in crashing into the door, but James completely ignored his rant, looking at Kendall to find him sitting on the rim of the bath, his shoulders slumped
"Just let me out James" Kendall croaked, sounding pathetic, but James' heart pulled in sadness at how Kendall looked. There was a pale hue in his face, a sheen of sweat across his forehead, but his usual turned up lips were the complete opposite, his lips pulling down with the sad look resting in his eyes, it looked unnatural on Kendall's face as James looked . Seeing Kendall this way made James feel awful, like his heart was being slowly ripped out of his chest, piece by piece. He could clearly see the pain in Kendall's eyes from everything, but what he didn't know was if the others could see behind the mask. James could, because he had known Kendall the longest out of the three boys, helping him through the emotional turmoil when Kendall's father died. Kendall was hurting more than he let on, and James wanted it to stop, now. He didn't mean to drag Kendall into the bathroom to make him cry, to crack the mask that he wore to cover his face, but it was the only way that James could get him to open up about his feelings, because he was definitely hiding behind a mask, hiding his feelings
"Please Kendall" James whispered, his eyes beginning to fill with tears as he looked at Kendall's form
"I-I'm so sick of everything going on" Kendall whispered, his gaze still on the tiles of the bathroom floor "Jo dumping me, Darcy hurting me, you guys tip-toeing around the subject of Jo or a relationship" Kendall whispered, and James felt guilt building up in him again, because, without realising it, they had hurt Kendall. They had tried to be different with him throughout the break-up, lashing out at anyone that hurt Kendall, and that included the not so new girl Darcy. They had pushed people away from Kendall so that he didn't get hurt, but never realised that by doing that, it only made the situation worse in Kendall's eyes. More importantly, they had pushed away a friend, excluding her from the group and completely ignoring her existence. The apology would have to wait for Darcy, because she was now on tour, but James' main concern was Kendall
"I'm sorry buddy" James whispered, watching as Kendall slowly slid off the side of the bath using his arms to slowly lower himself to the floor, small sobs breaking out of his lips as he slid. As soon as Kendall's body hit the floor, the sobbing became worse, his whole body quaking with the sobbing, his hands going to his face to block James' view of his face, because he didn't want anyone to see him crying
"What brought this on, dude?" James asked, kneeling down so he was eye level with Kendall and pulled his hands away from his face, cradling Kendall's hands in his tanned ones, rubbing this thumb across the top of his hand
"I-It's nothing" Kendall stuttered, quickly shooting to his feet and pushing James out of the way with a sharp shove. The shove was unexpected, so Kendall had no problem in managing to knock James to the side, almost making him hit the sink from the shove, because he never managed to gain his balance. Kendall managed to get to the door, his hands clutching at the door handle before James got to his feet, shoving Kendall hard into the door, slamming his face into the wood. Kendall grunted, the shove much harder than James really wanted it to be, but the anger inside James was gaining control over his body, making him hurt his little brother
"Tell. Me" James sneered, restraining Kendall against the door. He felt Kendall trying to fight against him under his hands, his grunts loud and angry
"James!" Kendall shouted, but it was soon muffled against the door as James turned Kendall's head more into the wood, muffling the next words that came out of Kendall's mouth
"Just tell me and I will let you go" James spoke, allowing Kendall to speak
"I just told you!" Kendall began to shout, but the next words were muffled once again, because somehow James knew that the next words would be Kendall cursing his butt off
"Not enough information dude" James shrugged, a small smile touching the tips of his lips as he heard Kendall sigh, his body sagging under James' hands. James slowly let go, but he did not back up from Kendall incase that he tried to make a break for the door. Kendall never turned around to look at James, his head looking down to the floor, his shoulders now near the tip of his ears they were so tense
"I-I just . . ." Kendall started to speak, rubbing the back of his neck as a nervous sign "I just felt that ever since Darcy hurt my nose, I-I felt ugly. And everything with Jo didn't help in the slightest" Kendall spoke, his bottom lip trembling as tears pooled in his eyes, James could only guess if Kendall did actually have tears in his eyes, but by the hoarse tone in his voice, he knew that Kendall was actually crying. James felt anger consume him, but he held it back for Kendall, because he didn't want to make the situation worse. James wrenched Kendall close to him, turning him around but never giving Kendall enough time to look at him, he only cuddled him close to his chest and running his fingers through Kendall's golden locks, desperately trying to sooth Kendall
"I-I'm sorry Kenny" James whispered in Kendall's ear, holding him tightly just incase he managed to hug out all the horrible stuff that Kendall had felt for most of the week. James never realised that Kendall had thought that he was ugly for something that Darcy did, she was only trying to help, but it only hurt Kendall, and Jo was the main reason that Kendall felt like he did. He should have felt anger at Darcy, but instead a feeling of guilt and sadness hit James, because one single thought kept running through James' mind
'Did Kendall love Darcy?'
Kendall's p.o.v
Hours later, Kendall had finally calmed down enough so he was not snotting all over James' shirt, only staining the shirt with his tears, soaking it. James had held him all through his turmoil, but from the way James was holding him, Kendall knew that James was thinking deeply. His tight hold had loosened half way through, and he had barely noticed when Kendall lifted his head to look at James to smile at him. The smile had faded as soon as he noticed the look in James' eyes, a look of guilt and sadness the emotions clear inside James' light hazel eyes, a look of question in his eyes
"J-Jamie?" Kendall spoke softly, waving his hand over James' face, trying to gain his attention so he would snap out of the trance he had put himself in, but it didn't work. Slowly, Kendall unfurled himself from James' arms, working one arm at a time so he didn't risk James coming out of his trance. Kendall stood at the other end of the bathroom, watching James carefully to predict what he was going to do next, but James' eyes remained guilt filled, even through the glassy look that covered his eyes
"Jamie?" Kendall spoke softly, shaking James at his shoulders to get his attention, but the contact still did nothing to wake him up. Through the quiet, Kendall finally heard Logan's frantic banging and crashing against the door, calling each of their names in the hope of them answering and telling him what was happening. Kendall slowly pushed James towards him enough so he wouldn't get hit by the door, resting him against the far wall
"It's okay, you can open the door!" Kendall shouted to the others, noticing his reflection in the mirror and almost not being able to wrench his eyes away from the figure. His hair was all over the place, golden locks sticking out in every direction possibly because of James running his fingers through his hair when he was upset. He looked a mess, but before he could try to rake this fingers through his hair, Carlos crashed through the door, not expecting the door to open that easily. He crashed through the open door, his head down and his body hunched up, but his charge never stopped as he almost collided into James if Kendall had not grabbed Carlos around the waist, stopping his decent dead. Logan had rushed straight past Kendall to James, kneeling on the floor and calling out to James, that was until a loud slap echoed around the room, and Kendall flinched
"DUDE!" James screamed suddenly, making Carlos and Kendall flinch and jump a mile in the air, Carlos even letting off a girly scream, covering his mouth with his hands as soon as the scream left his lips. Kendall rolled his eyes, biting on his lip to stop a small giggle from escaping
"Sorry, I'm surprised that Kendall didn't slap you" Logan muttered, standing up and walking towards Kendall before James could slap him, even cowering slightly behind Kendall so that James couldn't hit him without getting past Kendall first. But James completely ignored Logan, his eyes going towards Carlos, his eyes getting the same look as before. Kendall moved forwards, but James spoke before he could stop him
"Carlos!" James sneered, his teeth gritting together "what happened between you and Darcy? Did she hurt you?" James hissed, pushing himself from the side of the bath to stomp towards Carlos, leaning into his face, looking threatening
"I-I" Carlos tried to speak but the words were not coming out
"James! Leave him alone!" Kendall hollered, trying to get between James and Carlos, but he was pushed violently to the side by James. Kendall crashed into the sink hard, stomach first, collapsing to the floor clutching his stomach, the air in his lungs gone as he lay gasping for breath. Through the pain, Kendall heard the exchange between James and Carlos, who finally managed to un-stick the words from his throat
"She didn't beat me up, she saved me!" Carlos shouted, finding his voice and sounding threatening in the same tone. But obviously James ignored Carlos
"Why didn't you speak up when I was shouting at her!" James yelled back, and through blurred vision Kendall saw James lunge towards Carlos, grabbing fist full's of his shirt and yanking him forwards, their noses centimetres away from each other. Kendall knew that James was angry about something, or he could have been extremely upset or guilty about the situation with Darcy, he didn't know
"You were shouting at her, arguing like a married couple! I was scared about getting in-between you, because I wouldn't know who to pick" Carlos cried, his voice breaking off at the mention of picking between James and Darcy. But James gave off an almighty roar in annoyance
"You pick ME!" James shouted "I'm like a brother to you!" James finished, pushing Carlos away from him, throwing up his hands and continuing his rant, a headache starting pounding in Kendall's head
"Dude that's not fair to pick you because of that reason! Darcy had no one before us, and look what we did to her! We pushed her away because of what she did to Kendall, and that was an accident! She saved me from getting beaten up worse than I could have. It was bad enough that I had to choose over taking Kendall home or making sure that Darcy didn't feel guilty! Take that into consideration and say horrible things about Darcy now!" Carlos yelled in the same breath, his face going blue as he yelled the words at James. After yelling, Carlos began to breath heavily, trying to get his breath back. Logan immediately rushed to his side, talking to him in a frantic flow of words ignored by James
"S-She saved you?" James stuttered "oh damn, we really need to make it up to Darcy" James thought to himself
Darcy's p.o.v
Her mother's cherry red lips curled up into a vicious, twisted sneer, her lips pulled back against her teeth, showing her un-kept teeth. Her cold, brown eyes stared down at Darcy, her eyes seeming to stare straight at her until she started to cringe, but she wouldn't show that she felt uncomfortable under her stare. The room was still pitched black except for a small cast of light from a lamp shining directly on her mother's small figure, showing Darcy everything. She couldn't see what type of room she was in, and for a moment Darcy was glad that she couldn't, because her mother could have anything planned for her
"Why?" Darcy asked suddenly, her voice neutral and stern despite her emotions making her body shake in fear. She tried to stop her body from shaking by tensing her body, but her mother read the body language wrong, her mother laughing bitterly, completely ignoring the question, all she did was slowly approach Darcy, her hand outstretched towards her face
"You know why I did this Darcy" her mother started, her voice bitter and cold as she spoke "this is for revenge for everything you did to me"
"What I did to you! Are you insane!" Darcy shouted, thrashing around in the chair, the restrains biting into her wrist, but the anger she was feeling numbed the pain "you were the one that started everything! You ruined dad's life, you ruined mine! The ones that need revenge are us!" Darcy's voice had grown as she screamed the words, her eyes squeezed shut as her emotions lashed out at her mother, her eyes burning as tears threatened to fall from her closed eyes. But she flinched as something sharp bit into her cheek, making her throw her head back to try to loosen the grip, but the biting never stopped, only followed her
"You were the one that sent me to that mental asylum!" her mother snarled, the sound low in her throat but her grip only seemed to tighten
"You deserved it!" Darcy snarled back with as much emotion and hate that her mum spoke just moments ago, the fear vanishing from her stomach as she dared to open her eyes to look her mother in the eyes. Even though the sheer anger in her mother's eyes sent goosebumps ghosting over her skin, Darcy ignored the prickling feeling running down her arms and the fear that flipped her stomach violently
"I deserved nothing you did to me!" her mother shrieked loudly, ripping her nails from Darcy's cheek. Her fingers were coated red as she ripped her nails from her flesh, the small droplets of blood dripping loudly on the floor, the small splashes the only thing Darcy tried to concentrate on as her mother ranted on, her voice bellowing through Darcy's mind even though she tried to focus on something else. Seeing her mother again after so many years both terrified and angered her, the fear brighter than the anger. The memories resurfacing in her mind through the black fog that she forced over the memories, but Darcy pushed them back, staring at her mother as she frantically threw objects around the room in a fit of anger, one crashing dangerously close to her as she flinched, a small whimper escaping her lips.
"They will pay!" her mother screeched, reaching out in the blackness of the room, pulling out something shiny and metallic as it flashed in the light, her mother twisting it in the light, making it reflect in the lamp. Her lips twisted into the vicious smirk again, her gaze lovingly staring at the blade in her hands, her fingers brushing over the metal. Her mother suddenly lunged forwards, making Darcy flinch and pull at her restraints
"Lets have some fun"
Disclaimer
Sorry about the long wait for the next chapter! Hope you enjoy and review!
DoomedPhsyx2030
